Appreciatings

[CoreEssence]

Ok, some simple things to get me started writing.

Beautiful, blue skies. Clear, with a few puffs of cotton being blown away by the wind.

The color purple right in front of me. It is bright and vibrant.

The box that is colored purple—the game lost for words. The memory of Christmas Day when we all played it together and the fun we had.

Recognizing that this is still mental, and I’d like it to percolate deeper still—within the felt sense.

Talking with R today. That was fun, so much fun. Loved hearing her experiences of Helsinki. I am excited about her story, and this project of hers. Her excitement inspired me as well. Maybe I CAN finish this story. I love the idea of it!

That A “loved” the suggestion I made about jumping ships, and taking the 3 months off, and then joining something new, and then changing again while taking 3 months off again. Ha. That idea tickles me so much! I love how a random comment overheard on the train made me think of that!

Ooh, yes—I am enjoying more of this felt sense of satisfaction in my body.

I am looking forward to all my client work! I am looking forward to getting in the zone, and bringing into confluence the three energies—mine, the universal energy field and the client’s.

I am enjoying the thought of sacred space. Oh, I LOVE THE CEREMONY WE DID on January 1! I love how the idea occurred to me because I wanted to do something together as a family to mark the beginning of a new year, something that would allow us to marinate ourselves in the energy of a new beginning. I love how the five point rhythm thing didn’t work out and yet it gave me the PERFECT IDEA! A CEREMONY OF MY OWN! I am chuckling at the thought of telling my classmates about it! I love how the school has made me come to appreciate ceremonies and rituals as permission gateways to allow—nay, to feel, sacredness as a lived feeling in my body, in the moment, in a community. I am so glad I got to do this with my family!

I adore how n wanted to video tape the whole thing! Ooh, I have to tell my mom about it! I bet she would actually watch the whole video. The makeshift altar with its red and gold was beautiful. The candles were perfect. The incense was so good, and the ending playlist of indigenous music was just so spot-on for the vibe!

A’s personal item was perfect! A 4-inch stump from the Christmas tree. I loved being grateful, and also invoking blessings upon ourselves. I so loved setting our intentions together both as a family and as individuals. I love my intention—to be here, now, and enjoy this moment rather than think about the 101 other things I need to get to. I loved a’s about completing, and n’s intention to allow himself to feel the difficult feelings in his body and to invite them in.

I love the idea I had to do a little ceremony together as a family for each of our birthdays too. I love that we created/are creating our own traditions which is an amalgam of the best of all the cultures and traditions that we are a part of and know about.

I do so like how I feel right now! Ok, on to the next thing!

[CoreEssence]

Today I appreciate being really perfectly bundled up so that I can enjoy the artic like temperatures rather than freeze my butt off! The layering was perfect. The ear muffs were perfect. I didn’t feel hampered or stifled—it was right clothes, worn the right way. Yes, please!

The delicious corn toast my neighbor gave was just perfect for brekkie! Yes, please!

I did time-planning! After seeing N do it, and seeing it work for him, I wanted to do it too. I like how it lays out all the things—those I would like to do and those that I wouldn’t but still need to be done.

I am so inspired by how N writes down EVERYTHING he wants to do—including the things he isn’t that hot for (showers! Mom-instituted looking outta the window for a bit!). And of course, there is his dancing time and free-bird time too. I was thinking today how. . . he doesn’t resent what isn’t exactly his first choice but just incorporates it with the rest of the stuff. (There’s a learning here for me which is related to my own immature child consciousness. I’d like to become clearly aware of it please, Self. Thank you.)

I am so inspired by this. I don’t want to run away from the chores of my life. I’d rather include them and weave them in what feels like other non-chores things. I want to shift the way I look at these things which are “chores” and feel like a “burden.” Yes, please.

I am appreciating the bonkers-delicious dinner that I cooked yesterday. How was it so good and so spot on! I love having the right inspiration at the right time to create the perfect dishes. Yes, please!

I am appreciating coming back to focused appreciation. I like how it gets my energy moving and makes me feel satisfied in a pretty visceral way. Yes, please.

[CoreEssence]

This day is turning out better than I thought in the morning. There was so much to do, and I was thrown off by the snowsuit being ripped, and it was one more thing I had to do, and yet. . . and yet, there is a spring in my step, I am feeling good. My healing went well. I was able to prepare beforehand—the client requested a delay which was perfect. I thought of making notes on voice memo which was faster than writing, and I can now write the notes later at my leisure.

Somewhere. . . I started trusting that things would work out for me. That even though I have masses to do, I am supported? It isn’t an intellectual logic in the mental body, but somehow, somewhere today it has started become a felt sense, an actual feeling in my body. That somehow it is possible to weave in all the craziness I wanna do in an out through all the myriad busy-ness of my life. It feels. . . it feels helluva fun. I got to do the prep work I wanted to do for dinner. Heck, I even made time to write this down, and I am getting it done. I’m gonna pick N up earlier to go to Patagonia. Oh I HAVE SO MUCH APPRECIATION FOR THAT COMPANY! I was anyway a fan and now they have a customer for life in me.

Ok.

I like this knowing. Not a mental body thing but a grounded in my body sensate feeling—maybe, I can trust the world. Maybe I can trust things to work out for me. I love feeling this deep within my body, almost as if it is sprouting in the rich, fertile soil of my essence. As if I am finally ready to throw the coverings off, and let the sun shine down on this tiny piece of my so-far dark land.

Oh, YES. Please and thank you. And so, it is!