Appreciatings

[CoreEssence]

I enjoyed adding a little ashwagandha to my concoction today. I enjoy doing my herbal tea mornings while doing kapaal-bhaati. And I like how kapaala-bhaati clears my nose. And I like how can I feel the difference between yesterday’s and today’s snorts. I really love that my respiratory system got cleared before anything even caught on. I do like my sensivity which alerts me that something is coming and I can do something about it.

Hmm… so why would I not do it with things other than the physical too? Rather than. . . seeking out dumpster-fire news—even if it is only for five minutes in a day. Ok. I acknowledge that this five minute thing does not work for me. It takes up too much mindspace in my head. I also acknowledge that it probably is a case of me tuning in to the floating flotsam and jetsam of mass consciousness thoughts. So, I would like to re-attune myself, and tune in to the deep benevolence which also already exists. I set the intention to tune MORE into my non-physical friends and the fun I can have with them. AND I love doing the work at this level—like the thought that came to me today morning to focus on the non-physical selves of ALL leaders and workers in governments everywhere.

I also like the clear thought that came to me today morning—bigger part of my-self, I would like your help with developing patience in my system. I would like to practise patience. I would like to feel patience. I would like to be patient. I would like to feel the spaciousness in patience. I would like to offer it to myself and then everyone around me. I want to feel patience as a felt sensation in my body. I see how patience is also about not wanting to “fix.” I am open and willing and intend to explore and feel and embody patience in a visceral, felt way in my cells. And so, it is.

I would also like to appreciate the help I have every day, that makes it easier for me to do all the things I am interested in doing. I also appreciate this couch that I am leaning back against. I also appreciate the comforters, and I love how much fun I had cleaning up the comforters. I like that we’ll be having dosa today. I love the aloo sabji I make with it, and I love the sambhar I am going to make with it. I love how well my dosa batter fermented and I love that it is a mix of various daals and different types of rice.

I appreciate these leggings I am wearing. They are cheerfully patterned. I like wearing this over-long t-shirt over it.

I like that A’s coming home tonight.

I like the beautiful anemones on the table.

I like paying attention to my attention. I like being aware of where my gaze is. I like being deliberate about whatever I give my attention to.

[CoreEssence]

I’m so tired but such a good tired.

I love the healing I received. I love how it completely changed my energy field and brought so much relief to my right eye. I love how powerful this work is. I love learning it and practising it. I love that I am open to seeing and experiencing the goodness in this new hybrid structure. I am looking forward to “chit-chatting” with my fellow mates during online lunch tomorrow. I love having L as my dean. I love how clear she is. I love how she always seems to come from a unitive state. I have yet to see her react. I am so looking forward to her lecture on moving from reaction to response. I am so looking forward to perhaps doing two more years of advanced studies with her. I am blessed and incredibly lucky to have found this work and to feel its utter resonance in me.

I love how after writing my last appreciation note, within minutes I ended up reading a bit in Surrender to God Within that addresses exactly what I’d been mulling over about world changes. It just felt such a clear powerful ringing of bells. I love how that perspective changed the way I was/am looking at things. It shifted how I was feeling—and I acknowledge that I no longer have that same resonant clarity but that I am willing to experience it again, and again regarding the whole upheaval that humanity as a whole is going through.

I love that C invited me to listen to latest abenow! I love that I was able to join in for an hour. I love the questions and thoughts that are brewing in me that I’d like to discuss with Abraham at some point.

I loved my lunch at LPQ today. And I enjoyed my comforting tea through the day. I love this husband, this partner, this friend, this love of mine. I love how he’s made it so easy for me to slip into this class week. I love how talking with him helped me clarify and soothe what I had been feeling.

I love these beautiful LED lights on the ceiling. I love how they bring so much light and warmth in this space.

I love the whole idea of pre-paving (thanks Jenny Lee!). I love how for me it’s becoming mostly about setting intentions. My intention is to have a good night’s sleep—feeling comfortable, cozy, probably some self-healing work, and also some quieting of mind and listening in to my own inner wisdom. I am looking forward to tomorrow’s class—I intend to be actively engaged, fully present, and open to learning and exploring. I am willing to be open to and curious about whatever is present. I intend to listen with my whole self. I intend to deeply enjoy this process of expansion. And I intend to enjoy the heck out of the healings.

I intend to be grounded and to allow myself to expand as much as I am able. And to have space and patience for ALL parts of me that show up and that I uncover.

I LOVE that I wrote that intentionality about patience completely forgetting that the response to solidifer/masochist characterology is in fact space and patience! How perfect that that is also the template of this week! I love becoming aware of all the times when I am in this defense, and I love becoming aware of all the situations/circumstances when I use it. I love the gifts of this characterology—of making things manifest. I love my desire to let go of the distortions of this pattern.

Space and patience. There is so much spaciousness in patience. It is as if just holding that state of patience allows everything in its presence to simply unfurl and shoot out tentative tendrils to explore the space that has opened up. Yes. Yes, yes, and yes.

Here’s to more explorations of space and patience within me!

and so, it is.

[CoreEssence]

I acknowledge, honor and respect the rich territory I have traversed this past week. I greatly appreciate having incredible teachers. I greatly appreciate how instructive it is to simply see them interacting with other students.

I greatly appreciate a deeper understanding of my own desire to let go of judgements. I appreciate that there is a part of me that is in a state of immature consciousness which finds it easy to default to judgment as a reaction.

I greatly and deeply appreciate the understanding of looking at defense as just the energetic thing we do—I love how in some ways it makes it simpler for me to track my own responses. I also love how naming and bringing awareness is its own beast and starts lessening the hard hold of separation right away. I greatly and deeply appreciate how it becomes easier to access the soft pain underneath as I become aware of and name the hard pain at the top.

I honor my willingness and my desire to engage with my life in this specific way. I love how deeply fulfilling it is to see myself shifting my own patterns, and my own ways of being and moving in this world.

I greatly appreciate L’s comment to see what defense the wound is protecting. I greatly appreciate how the terror I have in my body is becoming clearer and clearer to me.

I deeply love the rich, deep and incredible experience I had on Saturday night. I love how thinking back it looks like one of the Pathwork experiences. I love that I can allow these to occur within myself and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE that I am building my own safe energetic container to allow healing for myself at the same time as I explore these soft parts of me. I love the clear feeling that emerged in this experience—the terror is a part of my own consciousness. The terror is not outside me. The terror is a part of me. AND that it is surrounded by the warm love of my higher self. I LOVE how I was able to “dive in” because I felt that I had the light of my higher self within me. And I love how I felt safe because the terror truly was only inside a warm sphere of golden love.

Oh. . . I am humbled and excited and moved and eager and so looking forward to more waves of expansion-contraction-stasis in this deliberate intentional way.

I LOVE the experiences I had on Monday. I KNEW what I was “seeing.” I am so appreciative of G. sharing what she did and how it made me. . . “own” my higher sense perceptions. I love the higher sense perception games N and I have been playing. I love how that kid gets it right much more easily and much more accurately than I do. I also love the clarity I had about the work I need to do in my own self to bridge the gap.

Oh, and I love that day a couple of weeks ago when the kid goes so really we should do it this way because think of it like swimming against the current which would be upstream and if we do it this way then it’s like going WITH the stream! I was screaming! We have never mentioned this example to him! Heck, A doesn’t even remember it. And the kid came up with it all on his own! I love playing with the Abraham energy in this specific way.

I am also enjoying invoking my higher self more and more. It is clear to me how for some of my reactions, some of the spaces in my life that I am aware of I need more than simply awareness, I need active help from the bigger part of me and I can ask for and receive that help.