See also Quotes on Schooling & Education
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Hotseater:
I learned that a lot from my two and a half year-old daughter who is the most aligned person I know. I'm learning to be more patient and I'm learning to see her as an individual with her own everything, and I try my best to be in the Vortex before I have that relationship or whatever situation that is, but sometimes you're stuck in a situation where you don't have time to get into the Vortex and they need you now, now, now, now, now. And I'm not talking about dangerous situation, I'm just talking like, you know, "Mommy I need you right now," but you're not completely where...
A: There's never a time where you don't have time to get into the Vortex;
there's never a time that you don't have time.
There are times that it is unlikely that you will.
It just has to be a higher priority.
you say sometimes you are experiencing difficulty with patience - like what?
Q: If I've had a bad day, which now I'm a lot more aware...
A: Well, then just give it up.
Say to your child "I've had a bad day. It's not going to be fun to be around me, so I'd go find other things to do and other people to be with because anything you do with me is not going to go well,
and you're probably going to get blamed for a whole bunch of stuff that's not your fault." (Fun)
Q: That's a good one.
A: So make yourself scarce.
Q: Thank God I don't have as many bad days as I used to.
And I've learned recently to love where I am even when I'm not feeling good, because I know that it's just part of the process.
A: Well, that's crazy talk.
Q: But not beating myself over, just...
A: But you can't love where you are when you're out of the Vortex - those two things do not go together.
We agree not to beat up on yourself about it, certainly,
but to say "I love myself in this foul mood that I am in," will only exacerbate it more
because you're not in love with your disconnection.
You might be aware of it,
you might be feeling compassion for yourself as your Inner Being does,
because your Inner Being is certainly not blaming you or pushing against you -
your Inner Being is understanding.
Sometimes people use words that defy how they really feel.
Esther's friend says the words don't match the music, so to speak.
So to say "I love where I am," when you clearly know that you're out of the Vortex,
that you're not in the receiving mode, that you're not tuned-in, tapped-in, turned-on, is not accurate.
Maybe a better thing to say is
"I appreciate my guidance system that lets me know where I am, and while I may not be able to do that much about it right now because of whatever momentum has been taking place,
I certainly can do something about it while I sleep and wake up looking for something more."
Do you see what we're getting at?
Q: So, would you say meditation or napping? It doesn't really matter, right? I guess it depends on what feels right for you in the moment?
A: Well, both will stop the cycle; both will slow the momentum.
Meditation is more productive because when you meditate and your vibration rises, you actually have the experience of moving with your vibration as it rises, where if you take a nap there's been no conscious movement of energy.
But when you say "I'm going to meditate into a higher vibration," usually while you sit there for that 15 or 20 or 30 minutes, or however long you're giving yourself, you're just arguing with yourself, usually; you're not quieting your mind. So in that case, the nap is better.
Do whatever it takes to stop the momentum.
You know from your experience with children that sometimes you can just distract them by holding something shiny up over here, and so it's the same process that you do with your two year old. Do it with yourself -
just hold something shiny up over there that distracts you from whatever it is that's bothering you.
And if the shiny thing doesn't work, then meditate.
And if the meditation doesn't work, then take a nap.
This process of really making the strong point to yourself that you mean to be in alignment with who you are just makes it so that more often you are.
But we agree wholeheartedly with you, don't beat up on yourself when you're not.
~ Abraham-Hicks
Boston 5/21/2016
Quotes on Parenting
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spiritualcookie
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Re: Quotes on Parenting
Blue__Butterflies wrote: ↑Tue Apr 18, 2023 6:17 pm Q: I have an eight month old at home, and I'm very curious about babies.
I've heard you talk about as soon as they're conceived they have their stream going.
A: That stream is their Nonphysical awareness - that's that Nonphysical stream,
And at the moment that they take their first breath and have some awareness of their physical environment, now they have two points of attraction and two points of consciousness.
Q: OK, so they have a little bit of resistance?
A: At birth.
Q: OK, I just want to clarify:
They are "vibrationally independent"? As in they can choose for themselves?
A: Yes, and already have.
And let's talk about that just for a moment based upon what we just said -
None of you are really ever completely vibrationally independent from your Inner Being because your Inner Being is momentum that came forward with you.
None of you are ever vibrationally independent from the goodness of who you really are.
In other words, this Source-Energy-You is always the dominant Energy,
and is always calling you to it.
But when you try to accomplish independence from that,
or let's say separation from that, you don't feel so good.
Q: Right, but I'm talking about vibrational dependence on, or independence from other people.
A: We know you are,
but in light of what we just said it was a nugget we couldn't pass up.
Q: Yeah.
A: Because so often you think you want your independence,
but you don't want independence from clarity
and you don't want independence from Source
and you don't want independence from vitality -
The reason you want independence is because you have a vibration going on that you don't like.
But the seeking of independence is not really a healthy thing because it's a pushing against what you don't want usually.
It's like with people who say "I want freedom,"
they always mean freedom from bondage,
so bondage is a big thing in the vibration, bigger usually than the freedom that they're saying with the word.
The independence that you're really seeking is independence from those who aren't your guidance system, so that you can interconnect and integrate with what is your guidance.
Can you see why it was important to clarify this?
Q: Yes. So the real dependence is my alignment with my Inner Being - I'm dependent on my Inner Being for the clarity, for the feeding me what I want - am I following?
A: Yeah, but that word "dependent" is one that smacks of something that you don't want.
But it is an accurate use of it, so let's find a better feeling word to you than that.
Let's call it collaboration of co-creation, or integration, or extension of,
or we're all in this together, or that we are one or partnership - yes.
Let's not count all partnerships that aren't your Inner Being as flawed or not good, let's just understand the good ones feel one way and the not good ones feel another way.
Q: And put my focus on the good ones.
~ Abraham-Hicks
San Francisco 7/24/2016
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Paradise-on-Earth
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Re: Quotes on Parenting
The greatest gift that you could ever give another is the gift of your expectation of their success.
Abe
Abe
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spiritualcookie
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Re: Quotes on Parenting
If we had a child, or anyone,
and we caught them doing something inappropriate,
we would not amplify it with our words.
We would identify what it is we do not want,
and then out of it would come the rocket of desire
of what we DO want.
And then we would just visualize, visualize, visualize
until we find peace within our vision.
When you make someone and their action the heart of a vision that you've spent time on -
your relationship improves,
your experience is better,
and they receive the benefit of the experience.
But if you catch them, and see them,
and worry about it,
and put mechanisms in place to prevent it...
Now you have not only amplified it,
you have now made a commitment that is hooking you both into that,
until usually it gets big enough that you break apart,
and then you attract others to fulfil that role.
- Chicago IL, 4/25/99
and we caught them doing something inappropriate,
we would not amplify it with our words.
We would identify what it is we do not want,
and then out of it would come the rocket of desire
of what we DO want.
And then we would just visualize, visualize, visualize
until we find peace within our vision.
When you make someone and their action the heart of a vision that you've spent time on -
your relationship improves,
your experience is better,
and they receive the benefit of the experience.
But if you catch them, and see them,
and worry about it,
and put mechanisms in place to prevent it...
Now you have not only amplified it,
you have now made a commitment that is hooking you both into that,
until usually it gets big enough that you break apart,
and then you attract others to fulfil that role.
- Chicago IL, 4/25/99
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spiritualcookie
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Re: Quotes on Parenting
- Look After Yourself.jpg (57.74 KiB) Viewed 1861 times
those who love you also feel better.
- Abraham Hicks, San Antonio, TX, 5/29/99
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spiritualcookie
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Re: Quotes on Parenting
When a cocky, seemingly irresponsible teenager is ready to learn how to drive...
Hotseater has a 16 year old son who is starting to learn to drive. The mother is scared for his safety, scared for her own safety whilst she is sitting with him when he is learning, and is worried about him driving with one of his friends. She consults Abraham on this.
Abraham:
His friends, who are not petrified with fear, would be far better for him.
Which feels better:
To envision him making a mistake and killing himself
or to envision him a sharp and clear and connected and effective driver?
Which feels better, to see him as a bumbling idiot who can't learn,
or to seem him as a bright young man who does well at many things?
Which feels better, to see him as insecure,
or to see him as confident?
Guest:
Oh, he's confident. That's the problem.
If he were a bumbling idiot, I would be ok.
It's the cocky I-can-do-anything that makes me crazy.
Abraham:
Well, you don't need to worry about him.
His self-confidence is a sign of connection.
And in his connection, he'll be inspired.
And you may not know this, but more of your Inner Beings are doing the driving than you are,
and that's why it works out so well.
And so, if you spend a lot of time drumming into his hea dall of the things that could go wrong,
you will be more conducive to his Inner Being not being allowed with him when he drives.
If you understand that all is well with him, and encourage him -
then things will go better.
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As [other people's] youngsters have negative experiences
that sometimes cause accidents
or even take their lives,
you take that data and then you assume that it has something to do with your child,
when it doesn't have anything to do with your child.
You do not know what the vibration state of being was of those kids that died in traffic accidents.
But you assume that whatever it was, is what your son's doing, and you want himn to stop.
And we are here to promise you that his confidence and that are a mismatch.
If he is confident and eager and alive
those mare matches to Wellbeing.
You are wanting to imbue your son with your confidence in his ability.
Otherwise, what you say is: I don't trust you.
Guest:
It's very hard for me to be trusting with my son, because there's been a lot of evidence to the contrary.
Abraham:
That evidence came from mistrust,
which came from something else.
As you don't trust,
he responds to that,
then you catch him and the consequences are so uncomfortable hat he learns greater deception.
And as he learns greater deception, then you don't trust him all the more,
which means he gets even more deceptive...
because you will never ever, no matter how hard you try,
squelch his desire that comes forth from within, to be independent.
What we are saying to you is:
It is your rules that make unlawful beings.
You would all get along a lot better if you would just tryst each other to treat each other appropriately,
but you don't.
So you keep making laws - until you make criminals of everyone.
- Chicago, IL, 4/25/99
Hotseater has a 16 year old son who is starting to learn to drive. The mother is scared for his safety, scared for her own safety whilst she is sitting with him when he is learning, and is worried about him driving with one of his friends. She consults Abraham on this.
Abraham:
His friends, who are not petrified with fear, would be far better for him.
Which feels better:
To envision him making a mistake and killing himself
or to envision him a sharp and clear and connected and effective driver?
Which feels better, to see him as a bumbling idiot who can't learn,
or to seem him as a bright young man who does well at many things?
Which feels better, to see him as insecure,
or to see him as confident?
Guest:
Oh, he's confident. That's the problem.
If he were a bumbling idiot, I would be ok.
It's the cocky I-can-do-anything that makes me crazy.
Abraham:
Well, you don't need to worry about him.
His self-confidence is a sign of connection.
And in his connection, he'll be inspired.
And you may not know this, but more of your Inner Beings are doing the driving than you are,
and that's why it works out so well.
And so, if you spend a lot of time drumming into his hea dall of the things that could go wrong,
you will be more conducive to his Inner Being not being allowed with him when he drives.
If you understand that all is well with him, and encourage him -
then things will go better.
-
As [other people's] youngsters have negative experiences
that sometimes cause accidents
or even take their lives,
you take that data and then you assume that it has something to do with your child,
when it doesn't have anything to do with your child.
You do not know what the vibration state of being was of those kids that died in traffic accidents.
But you assume that whatever it was, is what your son's doing, and you want himn to stop.
And we are here to promise you that his confidence and that are a mismatch.
If he is confident and eager and alive
those mare matches to Wellbeing.
You are wanting to imbue your son with your confidence in his ability.
Otherwise, what you say is: I don't trust you.
Guest:
It's very hard for me to be trusting with my son, because there's been a lot of evidence to the contrary.
Abraham:
That evidence came from mistrust,
which came from something else.
As you don't trust,
he responds to that,
then you catch him and the consequences are so uncomfortable hat he learns greater deception.
And as he learns greater deception, then you don't trust him all the more,
which means he gets even more deceptive...
because you will never ever, no matter how hard you try,
squelch his desire that comes forth from within, to be independent.
What we are saying to you is:
It is your rules that make unlawful beings.
You would all get along a lot better if you would just tryst each other to treat each other appropriately,
but you don't.
So you keep making laws - until you make criminals of everyone.
- Chicago, IL, 4/25/99
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spiritualcookie
- Posts: 2286
- Joined: Sat Dec 02, 2023 10:32 pm
Re: Quotes on Parenting
Your children came forth pure and eager
and know that all is well,
to try to remind those who have come before them of something that they have forgotten.
And so, that's why the generation gap will always be there.
These bright young beings come forth feeling invincible,
and their parents, who are not feeling so invincible,
spend most of their life teaching them to feel less and less invincible.
And we say: how backwards is that?
You're wanting your children to be empowered!
Self-empowered!
That is the greatest gift that a parent can give to a child!
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The most effective parent is the one that gives birth
and gets out of the way!
Always there, lovingly to answer anything that is asked, certainly,
but not with that domineering: "Well I've lived, and I've had lots of experiences, and this and this and this has happened
and this is how it is,
and the sooner you come to understand how it is, the better you'll get along in this world..."
And your child says:
"That's how it is for YOU, but that's not how it is for me."
And you say: "Oh well, you haven't had the experience that I have had."
And your child is saying: "But you just have your own narrow, wrapped perspective Mother.
And your perspective doesn't have anything to do with me!"
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You want your child to have a glorious experience.
So just remember that for your child to live a glorious experience,
he must be connected to Source Energy.
So anything that you do that encourages connection is helping.
Anything that you do that discourages it, is not.
- Abraham Hicks, Chicago, IL, 4/25/99
and know that all is well,
to try to remind those who have come before them of something that they have forgotten.
And so, that's why the generation gap will always be there.
These bright young beings come forth feeling invincible,
and their parents, who are not feeling so invincible,
spend most of their life teaching them to feel less and less invincible.
And we say: how backwards is that?
You're wanting your children to be empowered!
Self-empowered!
That is the greatest gift that a parent can give to a child!
-
The most effective parent is the one that gives birth
and gets out of the way!
Always there, lovingly to answer anything that is asked, certainly,
but not with that domineering: "Well I've lived, and I've had lots of experiences, and this and this and this has happened
and this is how it is,
and the sooner you come to understand how it is, the better you'll get along in this world..."
And your child says:
"That's how it is for YOU, but that's not how it is for me."
And you say: "Oh well, you haven't had the experience that I have had."
And your child is saying: "But you just have your own narrow, wrapped perspective Mother.
And your perspective doesn't have anything to do with me!"
-
You want your child to have a glorious experience.
So just remember that for your child to live a glorious experience,
he must be connected to Source Energy.
So anything that you do that encourages connection is helping.
Anything that you do that discourages it, is not.
- Abraham Hicks, Chicago, IL, 4/25/99
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Paradise-on-Earth
- Plus Member
- Posts: 3888
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Re: Quotes on Parenting
Abraham: Did His Father Abandon Him or Free Him?
Abraham - San Francisco, CA 8/10/02
G: It's simple to say that he (his birth father) abandoned me, but now...
A: Or freed you.
G: I hadn't thought about it that way, because...
A: ...Freed you to be the chooser of your life without the influence of someone already undecided and unsure.
G: And troubled, he had...
A: Someone who wants more than anything to be of value. Who recognizes that he cannot guide his own life, what possibility does he have of guiding another...
G: Oh Abraham, this is wonderful.
A: ...and wisely said, "You'll do alright."
G: He used to spend a lot of his time in his fishing boat. He didn't, he was very much a loner.
A: He was much more a connected being than you have ever been allowed to believe that he was. Because those who wanted to justify to you his absence, had to make his being gone, wrong.
G: Ahhhh, exactly.
A:They couldn't let his absence be a noble thing, or a virtuous thing, or a guided thing, or a connected thing. It had to be a wrong thing. So you were spoon fed misinformation.
G: Because he got a lot of this ying, ying, yang from his family.
A: Of course he did. He did not stay put. And he did not allow them to pigeonhole him. And he refused to suffer in the ways that they chose to suffer.
G: Well now, because of the vibrational match, now Abraham, I did the very same thing. I fathered a child in another part of the world.
A: And then that child is blessed as you have been blessed.
G: Ahhhaaa. When I think of all the cheap melodrama I've gone through in my own head about all this. I don't have any guilt anymore. I freed him, too. Didn't I?
A:
You did what so many of you intend to do. You come forth and provide an avenue for focused consciousness to have physical experience understanding that while guidance can be beneficial, that guidance is always coming from broader perspective and that Well Being is the order of things.
And so we're just using your example to sort of balance things out just a little bit. There's no right or wrong behavior. We're not saying it's wrong for a father to leave, or it's wrong for a father to stay. Or it's right to live in this way - wrong to live in that way. What we are saying is, you can't get it wrong. And your father didn't get it wrong. And you didn't get it wrong.
And anybody who's decided to make that wrong, is just using that as their temporary excuse to not allow themselves to have all of the riches that this environment is offering to them otherwise, you see.
You can use anything you want as your excuse to not allow Well Being in. And it is amazing how flimsy some of these excuses are. And on your world stage, many would say, "Abraham, this is far from a flimsy excuse...
We would focus in the more poignant now. We would make our relationship with our Source...
G: Oh, all right.
A: about things that you understand fully...
G: Yes, yes.
A: and not nebulous things you are piecing together. Since your father is not unhappy or unhealthy; since there is nothing that can be gained by going back and retracing it, then we just do not encourage it.
We encourage you instead to find something that is tangible in your NOW. And use that to activate your vibration and connect to your Source Energy, as a result of something that is more current.
It is exactly the reason that we think thses virtual realities are so lovely, and delicious, and life giving, and helpful. In other words, we would rather you get into a pure fantasy - than face any kind of factual reality, if the factual reality has the potential of taking you into a place that does not feel good.
Abraham - San Francisco, CA 8/10/02
G: It's simple to say that he (his birth father) abandoned me, but now...
A: Or freed you.
G: I hadn't thought about it that way, because...
A: ...Freed you to be the chooser of your life without the influence of someone already undecided and unsure.
G: And troubled, he had...
A: Someone who wants more than anything to be of value. Who recognizes that he cannot guide his own life, what possibility does he have of guiding another...
G: Oh Abraham, this is wonderful.
A: ...and wisely said, "You'll do alright."
G: He used to spend a lot of his time in his fishing boat. He didn't, he was very much a loner.
A: He was much more a connected being than you have ever been allowed to believe that he was. Because those who wanted to justify to you his absence, had to make his being gone, wrong.
G: Ahhhh, exactly.
A:They couldn't let his absence be a noble thing, or a virtuous thing, or a guided thing, or a connected thing. It had to be a wrong thing. So you were spoon fed misinformation.
G: Because he got a lot of this ying, ying, yang from his family.
A: Of course he did. He did not stay put. And he did not allow them to pigeonhole him. And he refused to suffer in the ways that they chose to suffer.
G: Well now, because of the vibrational match, now Abraham, I did the very same thing. I fathered a child in another part of the world.
A: And then that child is blessed as you have been blessed.
G: Ahhhaaa. When I think of all the cheap melodrama I've gone through in my own head about all this. I don't have any guilt anymore. I freed him, too. Didn't I?
A:
You did what so many of you intend to do. You come forth and provide an avenue for focused consciousness to have physical experience understanding that while guidance can be beneficial, that guidance is always coming from broader perspective and that Well Being is the order of things.
And so we're just using your example to sort of balance things out just a little bit. There's no right or wrong behavior. We're not saying it's wrong for a father to leave, or it's wrong for a father to stay. Or it's right to live in this way - wrong to live in that way. What we are saying is, you can't get it wrong. And your father didn't get it wrong. And you didn't get it wrong.
And anybody who's decided to make that wrong, is just using that as their temporary excuse to not allow themselves to have all of the riches that this environment is offering to them otherwise, you see.
You can use anything you want as your excuse to not allow Well Being in. And it is amazing how flimsy some of these excuses are. And on your world stage, many would say, "Abraham, this is far from a flimsy excuse...
We would focus in the more poignant now. We would make our relationship with our Source...
G: Oh, all right.
A: about things that you understand fully...
G: Yes, yes.
A: and not nebulous things you are piecing together. Since your father is not unhappy or unhealthy; since there is nothing that can be gained by going back and retracing it, then we just do not encourage it.
We encourage you instead to find something that is tangible in your NOW. And use that to activate your vibration and connect to your Source Energy, as a result of something that is more current.
It is exactly the reason that we think thses virtual realities are so lovely, and delicious, and life giving, and helpful. In other words, we would rather you get into a pure fantasy - than face any kind of factual reality, if the factual reality has the potential of taking you into a place that does not feel good.
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spiritualcookie
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- Joined: Sat Dec 02, 2023 10:32 pm
Re: Quotes on Parenting
Hotseater asks what to do about her kids who fight constantly.
Abraham:
You are on the outside of it, so to speak, wanting to effect change between two individuals;
and you are already sensing - from the lack of success that you have had and from the variety of attempts you have made at settling their differences - that you cannot control their relationship with one another.
People often attempt to gain control of the behaviour of their children, their employees, or the members of their clubs, political parties, or churches, by offering rewards for good behaviour and punishment for bad behaviour.
But we have never seen any beneficial behavioural change as a result of that.
Rules and punishments that are effected from the outside usually only cause a hiding of the unwanted behaviour - or an even stronger defiant offering of it - because people innately understand that they are not here living their lives to please others.
We often explain that you are the creator of your own experience, and that also means that you are not the creator of the experiences of others. They are the creators of their experiences. But we certainly understand that when they are creating their experiences under your roof, within the reach of your eyes and ears, their creation does affect you, and therefore you should have something to say about the way in which that affects you.
We also understand how when you observe a pleasing behaviour, you are pleased, and when you observe unpleasing behaviour you are not pleased.
We also understand how that is compounded even more when it is your own children you are observing.
It is our absolute knowing that if you believe that your happiness depends upon your ability to control the behaviour of any other, you will never find happiness. For control of others is not possible.
There are many who spend their entire lifetimes attempting to gain control of another, only to discover that absolute control of another requires the giving up of much of their own freedom as they turn their undivided attention toward that impractical effort that wastes their life experience, because it runs crosscurrent to the Laws of the Universe.
Parents often feel such a strong need to guide their children that these words are hard for them to hear, for they believe that they have been entrusted with the care and guidance of their children, so they are often looking for the best way to provide them with some guidance.
It is our desire that you come to understand that when you take the time to become fully aligned with all that you are, before you attempt to offer your guidance, your influence is much more powerful.
In simple terms, when you attempt to guide your children from your place of anger or frustration because you are out of alignment with You, your influence is flimsy. However when you offer your guidance while you are fully connected to all that you are, it is powerful.
"My children's behaviour makes me feel such frustration and anger that I lose my ability to guide them, and the harder I try, the more futile it becomes." But when you take the time to come into alignment with who you really are, you step into the powerful Current that is flowing toward everything that you desire.
Each time you witnessed the discord between your children, you launched a personal rocket of desire regarding their relationship. From your personal vantage point they provided you with detailed contrasting experiences which caused your personal preferences to evolve. And your personal preferences ARE your business. So now your work is simple: You must come into alignment with your desires.
The reason why your children's squabbling is upsetting you so much right now is because that behaviour does not match the ideal that all of their previous squabbling has helped you create.
In fact, even before their birth, while watching the children of other people, you were flowing your desires into your Vibrational Escrow.
Even before YOUR physical birth, you were making entries into that Vibrational Escrow account.
So it is no wonder that right now, as you witness something utterly opposite of what you have come to desire, you would feel the discord.
It is not simply because they are practicing bad habits of behaviour that it is upsetting to you.
Your view of them is causing YOU to flow in opposition to your evolving creation on this subject.
If you could accept that your discomfort is simply about your vibrational differences (what you are witnessing versus what it is in your Vibrational Escrow) and now really about what your children are doing (over which you have no control) you will begin to show yourself that you can choose thoughts that allow you to feel good (no matter what they are doing); and when you accomplish that, your power of influence will be tremendous.
-
As it stands right now:
- You watch the misbehaviour of your children
- You feel bad.
- You think that you are feeling bad because of their behaviour, but you are actually feeling bad because you are out of alignment with your own desires.
- So you ignore what your children are doing and utilize your personal ability to focus in a way in which you can feel good.
- And in doing so, you are now fully connected to who you are.
- And also, you are a Vibrational Match to the picture of happy children enjoying each other that you have been in the process of creating for a very long time.
- And with all of that alignment going on, you are in your full Connection to who you really are; to the resources of the Universe ; to your Inner Being; and to the desires that you have set into motion regarding your children, your family and your life.
- Now your words and behaviour are perfectly timed. They evoke less resistance from your children and effect more positive change.
But you are not creating through words or through your action. You are creating through your personal alignment with the vibration of your own desires.
So when you think about getting your [children] to behave differently, you can feel the uphill battle in that.
But when you think about guiding your own thoughts, you can feel the possibility of that. Even, in time, the simplicity in that.
So wonderful things are about to take place in your experience.
Not only are you going to feel better right away by deliberately choosing your own thoughts, but you are going to effect behavioural change in your children without anyone knowing that you are doing it.
And on top of all of that, through the power of your own example, you will teach your children the value and power of personal alignment.
To show someone how to align with Source - in the face of circumstances that do not easily inspire it - is the most valuable. guidance that you could ever offer to another. That is the only guidance that you ever intended to offer your children: The power to guide their own lives.
- Abraham Hicks, 2007
Abraham:
You are on the outside of it, so to speak, wanting to effect change between two individuals;
and you are already sensing - from the lack of success that you have had and from the variety of attempts you have made at settling their differences - that you cannot control their relationship with one another.
People often attempt to gain control of the behaviour of their children, their employees, or the members of their clubs, political parties, or churches, by offering rewards for good behaviour and punishment for bad behaviour.
But we have never seen any beneficial behavioural change as a result of that.
Rules and punishments that are effected from the outside usually only cause a hiding of the unwanted behaviour - or an even stronger defiant offering of it - because people innately understand that they are not here living their lives to please others.
We often explain that you are the creator of your own experience, and that also means that you are not the creator of the experiences of others. They are the creators of their experiences. But we certainly understand that when they are creating their experiences under your roof, within the reach of your eyes and ears, their creation does affect you, and therefore you should have something to say about the way in which that affects you.
We also understand how when you observe a pleasing behaviour, you are pleased, and when you observe unpleasing behaviour you are not pleased.
We also understand how that is compounded even more when it is your own children you are observing.
It is our absolute knowing that if you believe that your happiness depends upon your ability to control the behaviour of any other, you will never find happiness. For control of others is not possible.
There are many who spend their entire lifetimes attempting to gain control of another, only to discover that absolute control of another requires the giving up of much of their own freedom as they turn their undivided attention toward that impractical effort that wastes their life experience, because it runs crosscurrent to the Laws of the Universe.
Parents often feel such a strong need to guide their children that these words are hard for them to hear, for they believe that they have been entrusted with the care and guidance of their children, so they are often looking for the best way to provide them with some guidance.
It is our desire that you come to understand that when you take the time to become fully aligned with all that you are, before you attempt to offer your guidance, your influence is much more powerful.
In simple terms, when you attempt to guide your children from your place of anger or frustration because you are out of alignment with You, your influence is flimsy. However when you offer your guidance while you are fully connected to all that you are, it is powerful.
"My children's behaviour makes me feel such frustration and anger that I lose my ability to guide them, and the harder I try, the more futile it becomes." But when you take the time to come into alignment with who you really are, you step into the powerful Current that is flowing toward everything that you desire.
Each time you witnessed the discord between your children, you launched a personal rocket of desire regarding their relationship. From your personal vantage point they provided you with detailed contrasting experiences which caused your personal preferences to evolve. And your personal preferences ARE your business. So now your work is simple: You must come into alignment with your desires.
The reason why your children's squabbling is upsetting you so much right now is because that behaviour does not match the ideal that all of their previous squabbling has helped you create.
In fact, even before their birth, while watching the children of other people, you were flowing your desires into your Vibrational Escrow.
Even before YOUR physical birth, you were making entries into that Vibrational Escrow account.
So it is no wonder that right now, as you witness something utterly opposite of what you have come to desire, you would feel the discord.
It is not simply because they are practicing bad habits of behaviour that it is upsetting to you.
Your view of them is causing YOU to flow in opposition to your evolving creation on this subject.
If you could accept that your discomfort is simply about your vibrational differences (what you are witnessing versus what it is in your Vibrational Escrow) and now really about what your children are doing (over which you have no control) you will begin to show yourself that you can choose thoughts that allow you to feel good (no matter what they are doing); and when you accomplish that, your power of influence will be tremendous.
-
As it stands right now:
- You watch the misbehaviour of your children
- You feel bad.
- You think that you are feeling bad because of their behaviour, but you are actually feeling bad because you are out of alignment with your own desires.
- So you ignore what your children are doing and utilize your personal ability to focus in a way in which you can feel good.
- And in doing so, you are now fully connected to who you are.
- And also, you are a Vibrational Match to the picture of happy children enjoying each other that you have been in the process of creating for a very long time.
- And with all of that alignment going on, you are in your full Connection to who you really are; to the resources of the Universe ; to your Inner Being; and to the desires that you have set into motion regarding your children, your family and your life.
- Now your words and behaviour are perfectly timed. They evoke less resistance from your children and effect more positive change.
But you are not creating through words or through your action. You are creating through your personal alignment with the vibration of your own desires.
So when you think about getting your [children] to behave differently, you can feel the uphill battle in that.
But when you think about guiding your own thoughts, you can feel the possibility of that. Even, in time, the simplicity in that.
So wonderful things are about to take place in your experience.
Not only are you going to feel better right away by deliberately choosing your own thoughts, but you are going to effect behavioural change in your children without anyone knowing that you are doing it.
And on top of all of that, through the power of your own example, you will teach your children the value and power of personal alignment.
To show someone how to align with Source - in the face of circumstances that do not easily inspire it - is the most valuable. guidance that you could ever offer to another. That is the only guidance that you ever intended to offer your children: The power to guide their own lives.
- Abraham Hicks, 2007
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spiritualcookie
- Posts: 2286
- Joined: Sat Dec 02, 2023 10:32 pm
Re: Quotes on Parenting
A downstream rampage to soothe parents when their kids fight
It's normal for kids to fight.
This is part of their deciphering of life.
They have the right to respond honestly to their environment
They don't like feeling bad any more than I do.
If they really don't like feeling bad, they'll figure out how to stop it.
I'm going to quit adding my negative response to the mix.
I'm going to let THEM work this out.
It will be interesting to see how this plays out.
I really have been making more of this than it deserves.
It's pretty funny how much I've been making of this.
It feels good to get my perspective back.
These really are great kids.
We're all in this together.
I like knowing that I have the power to control my own feelings.
I like the idea of influencing my dear children to feel better.
I like knowing that they get to choose how they feel.
I love knowing that I get to choose how I feel about how they feel.
- Abraham
-
Even the Youngest Child Creates their Own Reality
Most people don’t think that new-born children could be the Creator of their own reality
because they are not even talking yet.
But the Universe is not responding to your language, anyway.
The Universe is responding to your vibration—
and your vibration is about the way you feel.
Excerpted from Seattle, WA on 6/20/98
-
When a Child Lies to You
When a child lies to their parents,
it’s usually because they want to be free to do what they want to do,
and they don’t want their parents to be upset about it.
It’s about wanting an alignment.
Excerpted from Houston, TX on 1/13/01
-
Babies understand you through your energy rather than through your words
Physical man often, incorrectly assumes that words or language are necessary for clear communication.
Your little ones who are not yet able to speak your language are receiving very clear blocks of thought from you.
While they may not understand the intricate details of your conversation, they understand the more important basics of what is going on in your life.
They sense your state of being in every moment of your interaction with them.
- Abraham, 1991
It's normal for kids to fight.
This is part of their deciphering of life.
They have the right to respond honestly to their environment
They don't like feeling bad any more than I do.
If they really don't like feeling bad, they'll figure out how to stop it.
I'm going to quit adding my negative response to the mix.
I'm going to let THEM work this out.
It will be interesting to see how this plays out.
I really have been making more of this than it deserves.
It's pretty funny how much I've been making of this.
It feels good to get my perspective back.
These really are great kids.
We're all in this together.
I like knowing that I have the power to control my own feelings.
I like the idea of influencing my dear children to feel better.
I like knowing that they get to choose how they feel.
I love knowing that I get to choose how I feel about how they feel.
- Abraham
-
Even the Youngest Child Creates their Own Reality
Most people don’t think that new-born children could be the Creator of their own reality
because they are not even talking yet.
But the Universe is not responding to your language, anyway.
The Universe is responding to your vibration—
and your vibration is about the way you feel.
Excerpted from Seattle, WA on 6/20/98
-
When a Child Lies to You
When a child lies to their parents,
it’s usually because they want to be free to do what they want to do,
and they don’t want their parents to be upset about it.
It’s about wanting an alignment.
Excerpted from Houston, TX on 1/13/01
-
Babies understand you through your energy rather than through your words
Physical man often, incorrectly assumes that words or language are necessary for clear communication.
Your little ones who are not yet able to speak your language are receiving very clear blocks of thought from you.
While they may not understand the intricate details of your conversation, they understand the more important basics of what is going on in your life.
They sense your state of being in every moment of your interaction with them.
- Abraham, 1991