Being a match to outrageous Abundance!

[Paradise-on-Earth]

We would say, anybody who is diligent within 30 days
can shift the dominant vibration within them on EVERY topic that is significant to one,
that allows the Well-being in the way you want it to be.

Abraham Hicks, Boulder 6/15/02

30 days of letting go of doubt
Day 1

What an amazing time it had been!
My life revealed to me several insight and impulses. FINALLY I'm here again- to embrace a "30 day challenge" as Abe have taught! I loved those so much, whenever I did them.



I want to let go the doubt of my fulfillment, the doubt in my dreams becoming true.
Not hanging on to it, any longer.
Doubt in itself is the indicator that I walk in opposition of my Vortex. That I shall turn around, because where I am heading is not the truth that God knows to be. I empty myself out of who I really am, when I stay in doubt: The miserable emotions are my guidance.
I trust that. I believe that. I just have trained this sooo long!
And now, I LET IT GO.
I don't push against the doubt. It was here for a reason. It was part of my game of becoming AWARE and deliberate.
I thank you, doubt. You have poisoned so much of my life: And I did not draw the conclusion to cut you out. I felt disempowered to deal with you.
I felt I would "have to allow you".
I feared I would need to allow you.

Well, I DO allow you, you may be here! You ARE here! I just don't have to carry you with me. I set you free. I allow you to be whatever you be. Be in peace. Be the energy that is. I let you go.



I let go. I give up. I relax. I turn around. I look at the light. I feel how my body gets warmed by the sun. I let go of all control. I let go of all need. I let go and BE. I am in peace. I am in ease! I feel easy. Light. Free. Wide. I feel a flow. I AM.
It feels so good. It feels good. It feels so free.

THANK YOU LIFE.

[Paradise-on-Earth]

We would say, anybody who is diligent within 30 days
can shift the dominant vibration within them on EVERY topic that is significant to one,
that allows the Well-being in the way you want it to be.

Abraham Hicks, Boulder 6/15/02

30 days of letting go of doubt
Day 2



I am proud of having lived decades of "true patience", ENJOYING the path. well... not ALWAYS! But mostly, really.
Have I really fully dropped doubt, ever? No, I don't think so... otherwise, "bam, i would have happened" (see quote below). I always KNEW that I was not "doing it fully". I always somehow... kept the doubt alive.

Why did I do that?
I often wanted it so badly that I was physically hurting. I'm pretty certain that all my unwanted physical conditions come from choosing doubt over allowing. WHICH SEEMS CRAZY. Recently I, again, came across the speech "you can be either right or happy. Pick one." And, I admit it, I guess... I have picked "being right". In some screwy way. Simply naively "being happy" without intellectual deciphering and raising moot points and wanting to REALLY perfectly understand, instead of just being satisfied with feeling better... which ALL IS STEP 1... ...that what I was doing.

Well, I KNOW I gave it my best. Which obviously wasn't enough. I would have needed to give it my GIVING THE OLD UP. I would have needed a paradigm shift: From mostly thinking, to validating my EMOTIONAL guidance. But that felt... dull. It felt not elegant. It felt like, I should show off my intelligence. It felt silly.
Somehow, it was an attempt to be more "right" than babyish silly happy! Oh my. While I write this, I feel how my ego is cringing. And that's ok. I LIKE my ego and I don't want it to hurt, but, this is what we must go through. It had decades to get it's way, now I'm at the point where I choose the divine focus instead. Dear ego, you simply DON'T KNOW. You did your best. You didn't know better. Now I know, I KNOW, there is a much better way, and I am not wavering any longer in choosing and walking it.

My doubts have served me well. They held me in an disempowered stance, until I had grown up. Thank you, doubts. Thank you! And now, you may be free, to do and become whatever is best for you, now. And I do, as well. I choose trust. I choose freedom. I choose abnoxious abundance!
I choose health. I choose standing out. I choose being different. I choose not to care about what others think. I choose to be guilt free, about living Paradise. I choose to do it MY WAY, in the way of who I REALLY am.

It feels sweet! It feels soooo sweet.
It feels un-attached. It feels like floating- floating free. Being carried by sourc. Not trying any more. Nothing to proove, no clinging. Source, I wholly trust you. Cradle me, carry me, show me! Ohhh, that is SO EASY. That is so sweet. That feels so wonderful: I will always be able to get back into the arms of source. No need to do anything of all of that on my own. I am source loving co-creative mate! I am the adventurous pioneer who carved out all desires from bloody contrats, and I HAVE DONE THAT. Source did their job in ste 2 and will guide me EVERYWHERE I wanted to be, that go created instantly. IT IS DONE. Oh, that feels SO RIGHT!!!

Right, AND happy!! Hell yes!!!

[Paradise-on-Earth]

We would say, anybody who is diligent within 30 days
can shift the dominant vibration within them on EVERY topic that is significant to one,
that allows the Well-being in the way you want it to be.

Abraham Hicks, Boulder 6/15/02

30 days of letting go of doubt
Day 3




I love pondering that the VIBRATIONAL CURRENCY is the TRUE vacilitator. The TRUE "currency". Our Vibration is where all our power is! All our safety, all our keys to love and satisfaction. It is all within our choices. This is HUGE!! This is the absolute empowerment. Nothing els can trump this.

...I have all the power: "The powers that create WORLDS"!

And I have NOTHING else to do, than learn to trust this Goodness, and not choose the doubt any longer.
I do not need more proof!
I choose it, because I am IN LOVE with this concept. I want to marry it, no matter what. Unconditionally. If it should be otherwise- oh my, it was worth the gamble! Because I do not want it to be in any other way. This feels SO right. This feels so good! This feels so right, and THAT is the reason why I choose freedom and empowerment, over doubt. Because, I can!


When you control your Vibration, you've controlled EVERYTHING.

Abraham Hicks

[Paradise-on-Earth]

We would say, anybody who is diligent within 30 days
can shift the dominant vibration within them on EVERY topic that is significant to one,
that allows the Well-being in the way you want it to be.

Abraham Hicks, Boulder 6/15/02

30 days of letting go of doubt
Day 4




You deal your own hand, while all cards are face up. It is TRUE. This is so big. I came across this quote 10 years ago and I was thrilled by it, but today I am touched even deeper. What does this freedom mean?
It means, that this is true: I DO NOT CHOOSE to be happy!
I do NOT choose the most awesome "cards". I choose what I think would be "appropriate".
I choose what feels as I "should" care for.

I don't drop (or never pick) what feels bad!
I WORK about it. I hold it tightly. I don't simple choose something better!
I could drop it, but I don't do.

I EVERY moment where I don't feel good, I COULD ask myself what I would prefer INSTEAD, and pick THAT!

WOW.
I choose right now, not to feel shame about it. Because, I prefer to feel clarity.
I could choose appreciation about my routines, what I do in my day.
I could be proud about myself- JUST BECAUSE I CAN.
I could choose joy about what is coming in X and X and X. Because, I can!

"Wouldn't it be nice if X would be no problem? If I found the solutions?"
And then, FEEL how that FEELS.

...This is Abe 101, right? IT IS!!!! And I am hearing it in a new way, suddenly! It feels new and fresh and veeeeery challenging!
Well, challenge accepted! No practiced doubt any more! I realize deeper and deeper:

I PICK EVERY BIT.
I DEAL MY OWN CARDS.
AND ALL CARDS ARE FACE UP.

No excuses any longer!! I play from now on DELIBERATELY. I will play wide awake- and only pick what I REALLY WANT.
And if I don't, I will not club myself over the head- dust myself off and start again.



(the whole quote from the interaction above:)

You know people that run around as victims.
And don't they always have a problem? Doesn't the world treat them badly?
And don't you want to say to them: "You're not making this stuff up.
I don't blame you for feeling bad about that that happened. Or that that happened,
or that that happened or that that happened. You're dealt a very bad hand."
But then, what we want to say to all of them is:

You're dealing your own hand!
And all the cards are face up.
You get to choose every single thing.

Abraham Hicks

[Paradise-on-Earth]

You're dealing your own hand!
And all the cards are face up.
You get to choose every single thing.

Abraham Hicks

30 days of letting go of doubt
Day 5


I posted this collage already, but I feel, I did not fully "take it in". I want to do this deeper.
I want to"choose every single thing deliberately. I arranged this collection, because I felt the pictures -in a very good way- challenging to me. And I wanted to OWN their essences. Now, I deal this again to me, and I'll choose on purpose.



The first picture feels...
AWARE. It feels self-confident. Standing straight, head held up, regal, powerful lively, AWARE. I like this "standing out from what would be grey and normal". I like to feel like a Queen. I embrace being special. Everybody should be celebrated for being someone very unique and special! Everybody should be treated like royalty, all the time, by everyone. And also, being treated with ease and fun and lightheartedness! I love to celebrate my abundance and my fulfilling of my desires. I love to think, that I can celebrate this with joyful cooperative components! It feels like adoring and being adored, and celebrated. Each moment we can celebrate those that are THERE. Hmmmmm, this feels good!

The second picture feels...
like taking my space. Using my place. Claiming room around me and for me. Spreading, BEING WIDE AND BIG. Allowing myself to play my role just as I like it, no seizing myself down. Aware of what I desire. Allowing me to be BIG. No playing small: Being confident. Being who I REALLY AM. No hiding, but being fully, wholly present. BIG. HUGE. WILD. WIDE! MY STYLE. Allowing me to BE.

The third picture feels...
...like HELL YES!!! It feels awesome! It feels free! It feels adventurous. It feels so sensuous! I feel the wind on my skin, the sun on my legs, the freedom in my hair! I ADORE having no shields between myself and the hight. It feels tangible. It feels real. It feels very bold. It feels so abundant! So free to do what I want to do!

The fourth picture feels...
Achieved. Triumphant. Aware. Powerful. In Awe. In love with life! Triumphant, triumphant, triumphant! THANKFUL. Faszinated. Sensuous. Being ALL THERE. Feeling my body and my surrounding. Feeling as the center of my life. It feels amazing. It feels fantastic. It feels blessed.

The fifth picture feels...
...Like laughing. Laughing out, freely. It feels so FREE. It feels as a poster child of "Abundance" or "Jet Set"- and it also feels beautiful. It feels authentic. It feels awesome. It feels so very beautiful! How beautiful the boat is! How beautiful the ocean is. How beautiful the people are. It feels elegant. It feels like, highes quality. It feels like full blown ABUNDANCE! I REALLLLLY find it BEAUTIFUL!

The sixths picture feels...
...sassy! It feels SO ALIVE. It feels lighthearted and really confident! It feels LIVELY. It feels delightful! It feels like smiling from one ear to the other. It feels chic and beautifully fancy. It feels capable. It feels high on life! It feels like: OH YES, LETS GO. I only would take the heels off- for comfortable driving and for the heels, before I drive such a powerful sportscar!

I like how I stand up for my BIG dreams. I like to liberate me from all cages of political correctness that demands me to lay low and play small. I like to stand up for my guidance that calls me out into the light, out into visibility. That calls me to go with what feels right and good to me, without looking back, without even explaining or making excuses. I stand tall for my BIG DREAMS. I breathe deeply. I choose JOY, on this journey. I choose EASE, and flow, and love and light, on this journey. I choose friends and love all around me. I choose celebration and life becoming better and better and better for ALL OF US.

THANK YOU! THANK YOU, LIFE!

If we were standing in your physical shoes, we would choose big.

You don't choose big, because the bigger it is, the more you doubt it. Which is just foolish.
It DOESN'T matter how big it is, if you BELIEVE it will be.


Abraham

[Paradise-on-Earth]

You're dealing your own hand!
And all the cards are face up.
You get to choose every single thing.

Abraham Hicks

30 days of letting go of doubt
Day 6

Yesterday, we spoke about our plans for the holidays, and I thumbed through a catalogue from a river cruise company, that also caters to families (which is quite rare). And I FELT the rocket of desire (again) to go with our grandchildren, daughter and SIL on a river cruise. AND to visit my beloved brother. AND to finally see Budapest, Hungary. Bam, bam, bam, bam!! It was a row of incredibly happy rockets, and they felt AMAZING. It was such a high! And then, just as Abe say, "I killed them with my doubt".

Which is, as Abe explain, absolutely normal, it's just the way it goes with rockets of desire. They shoot out of us, and when we are ITV-high enough, we FEEL them. And then we lose the feeling of them (but never the desire itself!!), because we are not yet high enough in our steady vibe to keep them clear within us. So, THAT IS DOUBT. I liked to FEEL it all so clearly! And in this moment, I got the impulse to turn the doubt and to lovingly play with my dream.

Wouldn't it be nice?
Wouldn't it be nice if everything fell into place, the money, the timing, the willingness of all including people and their freedom to do what I want?



Going on a family-friendly river cruise, on the Danube. Just a short 7 days on the river, with a pre-programm in beloved and for me well known Vienna, the capital of Austria, and a post program in Budapest, the amazingly beautiful capital of Hungary that is soooo long on my bucket list. In between seeing the for me totally unknown Capital of Slowakia, Bratislava. Arriving and leaving on plane (first time for the grandkids).
It feels so eager, to me!! It is short enough to be really an adventure, and thrilling even for kids, and long enough to be also relaxing and balanced.

I know that some of the kids fear to fly, but I also feel, they would really love it! I would SO love to show it to them. To give them this new experience. To "hold them" in my gaze, while they explore this. I also would love to introduce them to cruising! All this amazing buffets, with totally free food all day long. I know they would bask in it as in a land of milk and honey! Being most of the day on the water... and having a bath in the hot fountains of Budapest, with it's beautiful baths! I know they would love it!! And, I would love it!!! And, no seasickness on a river. What a beautiful introduction to ocean-cruising!! It feels SO SWEET! It feels as HELL YES!!! I want this. I really really want this!

I turn around all doubt into RELAXATION. Source, you handle this. You know what I want (much more detailed than I, myself), and I totally let go all doubt. The "how" is never our pie. I have asked, source said "YES". It is done. Now I step back, out of the way. I give up to "source having it's way with me".




Wouldn't it be nice, to FULLY have "our time" because, everything is handled? There are opportunities to jog, to hike, to bike TOGETHER! Or, on your own There are enrichment-experiences where you can bake, cook, paint. There are special concerts, as of a church-organ, or classic violin. There are trips to see the Hungarian daredevil-riders, or to get splashed soaking wet on a speed boat. There is amazing food ready to grab, all day long. It feels SO amazing! I want this. I WANT THIS!!!
It feels AWESOME. It feels soooo caling! It feels so like YES YES YES!!!!

I turn around all doubt into: God, YOU handle this. I have no clue about the "how". And it feels soooo liberating to ponder that IT IS NOT MY PIE to bang anything of it into shape. Puhhh!! Relief!!!



And then... Vienna. Visiting my brother, with his amazing projects. Introducing the boys to visions, that are big and helpful and amazing, to many. To show them, that just a handful of people can make SUCH a difference! And to not only talk with him about ideas and dreams and real awesome projects, but to laugh and feel the joy and hope of the young people in his programs. To discuss God and church with him, and be on the Prater with him, drive in the rollercoasters and the ferris wheel, and "Hau den Lukas" to see who of the men are the strongest... and dine with him, who gets called "Onkelchen", in the fancy restaurants, and take a bath in the old Danube. We climb up the Steffel, the tower of the central church, and play with the kites and even kite-surf on the Drachenwiese.

We visit Sisi's castle and dress up as baroque people, we go into the Opera house and listen to the Magic Flute with the larger kids... and have fancy break, in between! We see and take in in awe Hundertwassers amazing house-creation, look at the stables where the horses, that draw the Fiaker-coaches, live. We have a coffee break in Kaffee Vollpension, where old people work because the pension isn't enough. I want to show them LIFE in this amazing city. I want them to see how other people live, and the chances that are there for all of us. I want to inspire them and spark a deep fascination for life within them!

It feels sooooo good! It feels sooooo joyful! It feels like YES. Let me at it!!
And I turn around all doubt into "God, amaze me. I am so curious how you will do this. I am eager for this journey! I am eager to be a joyful cooperative component, wherever this makes sense. Use me as your tool! I LOOK SO MUCH FORWARDS TO THIS."

[Paradise-on-Earth]

.

You're dealing your own hand!
And all the cards are face up.
You get to choose every single thing.

Abraham Hicks

30 days of letting go of doubt

Day 7




All my life, I feel the "need" to carry the world on my shoulders and "make everyone happy". I have doubt that I am allowed to drop that and "leave" others to their own creations. To SEE that they are all "dealing their own hands", and that they, too, can learn to use "the powers that create worlds". But, really, I want to teach more than anything, "through the clarity of my example"!

Wouldn't it be nice, if people would fall out of my life that are no match to me, and I would dare TO LET THEM GO.

I let go of the doubt:
I drop what doesn't feel good. My trust got so big. Life has shown me over and over, that when it doesn't feel good, it isn't good for ANY of those who are within it. I really trust that. When it doesn't feel good, I have nothing to give, and I simply let go. It is not unfriendly, to the contrary. It is respect for who we all are, and where we all are. It is trust in the unique paths. It is trust in source, that source knows how to lead everybody. It is trust in those people, and their unique desires, that I have no clue of.

I trust in the good perfect divine unfolding, and that is so much bigger than I could ever be!
I DO TRUST. Ah, I LIKE realizing that. This feels great! I DO TRUST, already. Hmmm, I like that: I already have a deep level of trust.



I let go of the doubt:
...I KNOW. I get what I look for. And if I don't get that, all I've gotta do is not try harder, but RELAX. Let go and trust that those who belong with me, get swept in to my joy and my ease and my eagerness and my passion, and my love. And if they don't do, then it's not their pie, in the moment. Nothing for me to do other than be HAPPY- because that feels good to me, and because this takes care of EVERYTHING ELSE! ...Feeel good as best as I can. Win-win.

Me, feeling good and letting LoA sort all the rest out, takes so much pressure from my shoulders! NOTHING for me to do, other than trusting, and living happily ever after. Ahhhhh!!! Sigh!!!! This feels sooo much easier! SO much sweeter! And joyfully being a cooperative component to those high, awesome divine solutions, that I could never think up on my own.

I ALLOW shift to happen! I ALLOW it all to fall in IT'S perfect place! Not what I thought would be needed, but it's own perfect place. And I let go of everything else!! So sweet. So easy. So loving. So joyful. Easy, loving, happy, friendly, warm, cozy, joyful. ALL IS SO VERY WELL.

[Paradise-on-Earth]

.

Dear Universe, feel free to AMAZE me!

Abraham Hicks

30 days of letting go of doubt

Day 8



I want to live PARADISE ON EARTH! And it is predicted, that we will get there, as whole humanity. At least in 2032... or maybe even sooner. I want to experience it sooner!! Some predict WW3, before it (I don't believe that, as Abraham and many other deeply beloved Sources as Kryon and the Council of Light have said that there NEVER (!) again will be such a war on Earth). Many predict that there will be a solar flash, or any other big event that will change things in a fell swoop. Which I think would be fantastic... this "weeeeeeeeeeeee" that Abe talked about when you pull back the rubber band for a long time and then let it go...

I WANT that for me. But who am I to know if it would serve others? *I* had a few enlightening-experiences that felt SOOOOOO awesome. Ohhh, I want that!! I think it must be wonderfully joyful. It must be a rush of joy. I WANT THAT!!

I embrace my doubt about it, and relax into "God, you lead me. You bring to me what is best for me. And you bring to everyone, what is best for them!"
God knows what I desire! God knows what and where and when is my path of least resistance.
AND, NOW, I feel joyfully inspired to dream about my own, unique "weeeeeeeee"!

it feels AWESOME. It feels delighted! It is FULL. It is wholly. It takes my whole being and fully wholly transforms it and leaves behind all doubt. It is LIGHT! It is en-lightening my beingness, through and through. No going back EVER from here! It is totally transforming. It is delightful! IT IS BECOMING WHO I REALLY AM, on an even higher level than ever. It is such a rush! Ohhh, it takes me. "it has its way with me". It feels orgasmic! It is BLISS.



...Isn't that awesome!?
A life that feels GOOD, ALL THE TIME. Even when some contrast happens, because we are so trained into looking at what we want!!
And we do NOT need to do that! We planned to do that for eons. And we did. And now, it may be OVER. I am at the fulcrum where I choose. All cards get dealt by myself, and all cards are face up!

I embrace my doubt, and I CHOOSE, to go into the heavens on Earth. I GO, because I can and it feels soooooooo much better! Ohhh, what a pleasure!

"I know my power through my pleasure". I am in awe how this seals that our "New World" of beingness in our true power IS TIED TO US, BEING JOYFUL! That's coming full circle THIS IS SO GOOD!!!

[Paradise-on-Earth]

.

Dear Universe, feel free to AMAZE me!

Abraham Hicks

30 days of letting go of doubt

Day 9


I'm in awe! Life has caused me to embrace totally new topics!
I JUST LOVE when I get new inspirations. I so love to witness how desires get born, and "get bigger" due to LoA, that calls more and more and more fascination towards it!

Our son H and his wife had inspired us, years ago, to dare our old dream of a fourwheeler. The were lending us their Jeep and their roof-tent, and the rest is history! And then, we started to dream of doing journeys through wild terrain, together.



I embrace my doubt about if that will be possible and ponder: if they talk about their dreams, and we have those dreams as well (heck, even if only 1 of us had that dream!!)- it would mean, IT IS DONE! And all others CAN be cooperative components, if only we drop our doubt and resistance in believing the joyful goal!

It could feel as such JOY! It could feel as "us, together- all for one, and one for all." Ohhh, that would be big! It would be SO VERY sweet. It could be so VERY adventurous! It could feel respectful and light and easy and relaxed. It could be sooooo FUNNY. It could be totally carried by LOVE. God, you take it from here. You guide and lead me, and all of us! I relax and give in, into the unfolding of the dream. I step out of the way.

...H dreams of exploring the "other side of our sandbox", the so very unknown to us Germans, northern and eastern Russia. And in caring for the dream, I realized how incredibly close (less than 100km apart, really) Russia and USA are in Russias north-east, to each other!



We would have to cross China, probably. Or come through the Silk-Route, via Afghanistan, Iran, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Tadjikistan, Kyrgyzstan, Kazakhstan. While I love the sheer sound of all of this names, some also speak of conflicts, more than less. Oh, this darn "borders". This darn wars, in the beautiful countries, with this awesome, lovable, fascinating people! How have we messed up life. Why are we in several ways in a terrible war with any people, that ALL are "God in physical form" (Abe). I want to roam free! I want to embrace and understand and soothe and love, everywhere and everyone. I want to feel safe on all ends of the sandbox!!

I want to explore with my beloveds, and drive huge trucks, that use tons of gas. I want to be close dear friend with nature in the same time, loving citizen of the whole world, and see the amazing beauty that is in all places. I want to leave behind all my own fear, and the fear and hate of others, about political ideas and climate-change (that Abe teach us is nothing that we would need to bother about, and as the granddaughter of scientists and one who REALLY follows science and research -not just mainstream media, around earth and climate, I learned that Abe are right) I want to roam in joy, love, and true, full PEACE!



I embrace my doubts and fear and say: "God, you take it from here.
I know what I want. You know what I want! And I know, it can ALL fit perfectly. I know, there are perfect solutions, perfect timing, perfect routes for us to get our dreams fully, and paradisy, and wonderfully! I give "up". I give it over, to you."

Ahhh, that feels as such relief! I relax. I know, Source has my back. Even if I wouldn't say a word, it would be like that. But my words soothe ME.
My job is not to doubt, worry or fight... my job is to joyfully dream. Wouldn't such a trip- from Europe across almost all Asia, be AWESOME!? Wouldn't it be another "trip of our life", for all of us!? Nelli, my beloved DIL, being a Kazakh Russian, able to speak the language? Heiko, someone who can repair cars as a wizard, and my husband who is strong as a bear, and I, with my trained high energy... all of us adventurers... oh, wouldn't that be awesome...for months to travel through the endless Tundras and Taigas, finding our ways, solving endless problems...?


Russian landscapes

I embrace my doubts. About money, about technical challenges, about mosquitos, about food, weather, and maybe BOREDOM. I embrace my fear that it could get simply too much. As, not being able to go further, because we are so FULL! I embrace my doubts about not beng able to handle this GIANTNESS. This extreme wide lands. This "endlessness". I embrace my doubt about us all, maybe harassing each other hopelessly. I embrace my doubts. They all have their place.

I feel embraced in all of this!! Embraced, and calm and soothed. I feel loved and seen and cared for, by source. I feel, I can trust that. Whenever it gets "too much", we can go general. Slow down, or PAUSE. And simply allow our soul to catch up! We can RELAX. We can chill out and take our time, and get back to how SOURCE sees it all. Source called us. That must mean something.

Ohh, I am so eager to go further!!
God, bless us all. Thank you! THANK YOU, LIFE!!!

[Paradise-on-Earth]

Dear Universe, feel free to AMAZE me!

Abraham Hicks

30 days of letting go of doubt

Day 10


My rampage of yesterday inspired me to "work" with my joy and doubts in "CAMPING" in the wild terrains! I LOVE my Jeep, to begin with. I love it's incredible capability. I LOVE this car for what it can do. I am so thankful to my son, and then my husband, who followed through on this dream, and that they invited me in, and seduced me further and further... until I was where I am, today. I so love to be where I am, with this car. I love how relatively small it is. I love how relatively economic it is.
I love that we can drive it open, and closed, and that it can carry an awesome roof tent in which I just LOVE to sleep, in the middle of nature!
I love that I can carry with my my wheelchair, all the time. I love that it has 5 full seats- as, I love my family with me! I love how there is almost no terrain, where this car can not go. IT FEELS SOO FREE.


we, and our beloved Jeep

...I embrace my doubts. I embrace what I think that other people could think: I want to feel free again. So free, as this car could "make" us feel, if there wouldn't be the doubt! I embrace my doubt, and drop it. Theeeere it goes! God, please care for it. God, please help me with this: I care, what people think and it hurts me. And I don't wanna hurt any more.
I feel how source embraces me. "Let it go! Give it up. Relax. Get back into what FEELS GOOD, because that is what Source looks at, as well!"
...Sigh! Sigh of relief. Please, source, help. I let go. I relax. I float. I trust. This is not mine to carry. Source is there, for me. Nothing to do, for me, other than breathe. And, to focus on my joy.

..."Ignore what feels bad, and look at what makes your heart skip."
I focus, on purpose!! Oh, that is EASY. And I can do that endlessly! I focus on my dream, "instead":
I expect source to bring me those people that share my joyful dream! Those, that share my respect and passion and love for my car, and for the 4-wheel-fun. When I focus upon my joy, nothing bad can come to me!



I dream of owning a fourwheeler, that is also an awesome camper.
I dream of having it to be weather proof, and heatable, and LIGHT! Filled with light! ...That feels so light and beautiful and free, but mostly: LIGHT!
A Camper van with a huge roof-window instantly gives soooo much light, which makes such a difference about how it feels to live within it. And, I want a Camper that feels like a cozy home! I want to have order and clarity within it. I want room for clothes and laundry, for food-ingrediences and gear, for a large fridge, and for an oven. I want a heating system. I want a toilette, and a shower. Of course a sink, and 2 burners. I want electricity for my computer, and for some basic lighting! I want water, and a HUGE tank for gas. It feels, again, SO FREE!!! It feels like being self sufficient, and that feels soooo relaxed. OH YES, I love that rich, happy, FREE feeling!!



...When DH and I do a trip with hotels, we always miss 1 big thing: The cooking. It is SUCH A JOY to have the amazing "buffet" of choices when you are abroad (or even just in a different corner of your own home country!) to choose from foreign ingredients. This AWESOME fruit-markets on the side of the road, in Italy! This fantastic cheeses, in France. This AWESOME vegetables and home made jams, and local honey or baked goods at the colorful markets. The drugstores with semi-ready products. This wonderful hams and sausages in Spain. The fish and the seafood!! Cans with products that I have not even an idea, but that are soo calling! Herbs and colorful spices. Cakes and patisserie, FRESH BREAD!! Ohh, and to pick berries and herbs and mushrooms, from the wilderness, and toss them into salads or desserts, or make a gremolata, or a freshly pestled Pesto from them!

Cooking is SUCH A JOY. And to do it outdoors, bare feet in the grass, is even more of the delight! Ohhhh, I LOVE MY DREAM. I so love my preference.
Peace to all that see that different may them be happy!

I AM. I AM SO HAPPY, NOW.
Thank you, Jeep! Thank you, Life!! Thank you, Focus!