My Diary

[abrahammer117]

Day 62: posting here. Main guideline, focus on what's wanted with scant attention to unwanted
Day 9: 2 hours in coffee shop in the morning. No exercises / books / phone etc. (RESTING)
Day 1: Meditate 2 or 3 times a day for 15 minutes. Just BREATHING more, intention of filling body with oxygen and appreciating how it feels (breathe & love)
Day 1: No random internet of any kind at work. Remember how harmful it is to well-being
Reminder: I am doing really well (the thought feels good and aligns with what I want)
Reminder: Step 1 is specific... Step 3 is general, really really general
Reminder: My only work is to improve my receptivity: Be well rested, have more fun.

So! The benefits of more genuine resting are accruing. I did some really good stuff at work yesterday, things seemed to fall into place that haven't before.
And then.... after I had completed my essential jobs I 'treated' myself to some random internet - and the day went downhill from there! But it went downhill relative to my constantly improving standards of how I like to feel. After the random internet - I then got into that place where I don't feel very good, pretend that I'm fine and chase pleasures... So I carried on random internet every now and again right until closing... I got a chocolate bar on the walk home... forgot to meditate at all last night and immediately got a little whiskey that I didn't enjoy,,,, and felt irritable all night (although hiding it very well)

So what do I want? I really really want for it to be just a standard expectation in me that I don't do random internet at work. I believe I can do this now.
I want to remember always I am doing really well

I have a day off again today and looking forward to more mental resting. I sat for 2.5 hours this morning just chilling on the sofa, feeling the mental hangover from before, and couldn't believe how fast the time went.

[abrahammer117]

Day 63: posting here. Main guideline, focus on what's wanted with scant attention to unwanted
Day 10: 2 hours in coffee shop in the morning. No exercises / books / phone etc. (RESTING)
Day 2: Meditate first thing for15 minutes. Just BREATHING more, intention of filling body with oxygen and appreciating how it feels (breathe & love)
Day 2: No random internet of any kind at work. Remember how harmful it is to well-being
Reminder: I am doing really well (the thought feels good and aligns with what I want)
Reminder: Step 1 is specific... Step 3 is general, really really general
Reminder: My only work is to improve my receptivity: Be well rested, have more fun.

Progress is continuing! Had a day off yesterday and accomplished a total of 6.5 hour just sat on my sofa doing absolutely nothing.
I caught a very short Hicks video about meditating for 15 mins a day but with the intention of just breathing more, receiving each breath like a gift and appreciating.
I did this first thing this morning and it felt very good. At the end of it I actually felt a little excitement about the day.

I'm catching very often starting to go into beating myself up mode, but catching it every time and shifting too 'but I'm doing very well'

[spiritualcookie]

hey! Just curious - when you do the Resting - how is it different from meditation? 6.5 hours of meditation sounds astronomical!

[abrahammer117]

hey! Just curious - when you do the Resting - how is it different from meditation? 6.5 hours of meditation sounds astronomical!

Good question!
With a meditation exercise there's always a degree of mental effort. Which is why I think Hicks recommends never doing more than 15-20 mins a day

With my 'resting' there's no mental effort at all. You just stay on the chair / sofa for the time without any TV / phone / book etc. Letting my mind do whatever it wants.

Very gradually the 'cork floating' analogy emerges, or 'naturally turning downstream' and after the 2 hours I can always feel the benefit and there are often points where I'm genuinely having a really good time there.

Whenever I sit down to do this I can feel now whether I need more mental rest and it's usually a yes. So on my days off I'm doing lots of this.
I suspect that as this continues I'll need less mental rest as I'm having more fun

Another Hicks analogy that's really good here is 'once you turn downstream, you can't put a motor on your boat and race further down, as this will turn you upstream'.
This is a trap I've fallen into in stressed periods where I want to feel like I'm 'working' on my vibration and am actually scared to rest

[spiritualcookie]

ah ok : ) That's brilliant you're feeling the cork floating / going downstream sensation!

I was just listening to a podcast where they said the most common mistake people make in spiritual work is "working" on their vibration too hard, when it's more about letting go and relaxing into it; receiving insights and inspiration through that relaxed state.

Your resting reminds me of what Eckhart Tolle used to do right after his awakening. From what I remember, he used to go to the park, and just sit on a bench, resting for the whole day more or less, "being present" and enjoying "the now".

It sounds like a good way to practice non-resistance / surrender

[abrahammer117]

ah ok : ) That's brilliant you're feeling the cork floating / going downstream sensation!

I was just listening to a podcast where they said the most common mistake people make in spiritual work is "working" on their vibration too hard, when it's more about letting go and relaxing into it; receiving insights and inspiration through that relaxed state.

Your resting reminds me of what Eckhart Tolle used to do right after his awakening. From what I remember, he used to go to the park, and just sit on a bench, resting for the whole day more or less, "being present" and enjoying "the now".

It sounds like a good way to practice non-resistance / surrender

I agree with all that! Coincidentally Eckhart and I lived at the same Buddhist monastery for a while (different times tho!) , Amaravati in Hertfordshire

[spiritualcookie]

I didn't know that part of Eckhart's story - interesting

Just googled Amaravati - looks like it's not too far away from me yet I didn't even realise it was there! Always nice to discover new places

[abrahammer117]

Day 65: posting here. Main guideline, focus on what's wanted with scant attention to unwanted
Day 12: 2 hours sitting in silence each morning. No exercises / books / phone etc. (RESTING)
Day 4: Meditate first thing for15 minutes. Just BREATHING more, intention of filling body with oxygen and appreciating how it feels (breathe & love)
Day 4: No random internet of any kind at work. Remember how harmful it is to well-being
Reminder: I am doing really well (the thought feels good and aligns with what I want)
Reminder: Step 1 is specific... Step 3 is general, really really general
Reminder: My only work is to improve my receptivity: Be well rested, have more fun.

Had a really nice day at work Saturday. Achieved avoiding all random internet use for the working day. Would be wonderful to keep that up. It really allows much more positive momentum to build up.

I missed my 2 hours of sitting yesterday morning and really felt it for the whole day. Particularly as I'm usually feeling wired after a Saturday which is the busiest work day. I really enjoyed this morning's 2.5 hr sit - crazy how fast it goes. Really soaking it up.

It came back to me this morning that the thought 'I'm doing really well' is a fantastic one to remember and really dissolves negative emotion as soon as it comes up.
I can say that my average mood is continuing to improve and the contrast is getting milder all the time

My girlfriend is going away for a few days which is going to give me lots of extra chances to sit in silence.

[abrahammer117]

Day 66: posting here. Main guideline, focus on what's wanted with scant attention to unwanted
Day 13: 2 hours sitting in silence each morning. No exercises / books / phone etc. (RESTING)
Day 5: Meditate first thing for15 minutes. Just BREATHING more, intention of filling body with oxygen and appreciating how it feels (breathe & love)
Day 5: No random internet of any kind at work. Remember how harmful it is to well-being
Day 1: Only Check email twice a day. 1pm and 4pm.
Reminder: I am doing really well (the thought feels good and aligns with what I want)
Reminder: Step 1 is specific... Step 3 is general, really really general
Reminder: My only work is to improve my receptivity: Be well rested, have more fun.

Yesterday I did my second day at work without any random internet usage. Definitely a big improvement in well-being but I still fall into random checking of emails which has a big impact on my well-being. I'd like to check my email only twice a day (rather than 50 lol). If I stick to this it will be great!
Tim Ferris recommends this and says when he tried it he thought there would be so many problems caused by missing emails etc. - but the problems just never happened.

I'm looking forward to this evening - girlfriend is away and planning on lots of sitting in silence

[abrahammer117]

Day 67: posting here. Main guideline, focus on what's wanted with scant attention to unwanted
Day 14: 2 hours sitting in silence each morning. No exercises / books / phone etc. (RESTING)
Day 6: Meditate first thing for15 minutes. Just BREATHING more, intention of filling body with oxygen and appreciating how it feels (breathe & love)
Day 6: No random internet of any kind at work. Remember how harmful it is to well-being
Day 2: Only Check email twice a day. 1pm and 4pm.
Day 1: Morning pages early in morning ( hand write 3 pages of A4 without stopping )
Reminder: I am doing really well (the thought feels good and aligns with what I want)
Reminder: Step 1 is specific... Step 3 is general, really really general
Reminder: My only work is to improve my receptivity: Be well rested, have more fun.

It's good to remember that ups and downs are still natural - my down slumps are so subtle now that it's easy to miss the wave of it.
It's great I'm naturally sticking to 'no random internet at work' and yesterday stuck to 'only checking email twice in the whole day'
The really great part is that I naturally want to make these changes as I grow a little each day.
I feel like there's some energy slump as my brain is getting used to what is a large drop in stimulation, if we look at it in terms of dopamine hits.

When I was sitting this morning I felt the urge to start morning pages again and felt relief in doing so. When I've done these in the past regularly I often have moments where I really love doing them. It's a wonderful exercise for focusing a little but in a way where you can't overdo it or try too hard because the only goal is to fill the 3 pages. Nothing to get right or wrong at all