My Diary

[abrahammer117]

Day 68: posting here. Main guideline, focus on what's wanted with scant attention to unwanted
Day 15: 2 hours sitting in silence each morning. No exercises / books / phone etc. (RESTING)
Day 7: Meditate first thing for15 minutes. Just BREATHING more, intention of filling body with oxygen and appreciating how it feels (breathe & love)
Day 7: No random internet of any kind at work. Remember how harmful it is to well-being
Day 3: Only Check email twice a day. 1pm and 4pm.
Reminder: I am doing really well (the thought feels good and aligns with what I want)
Reminder: Step 1 is specific... Step 3 is general, really really general
Reminder: My only work is to improve my receptivity: Be well rested, have more fun.

So! Pat myself on the back for day 7 of no random internet at work. Feels really natural now. Yesterday I was doing great on the not randomly checking my email until about 4pm where I kinda had excuses to check it regularly .... but looking back what would have happened that's bad if I stuck to the 2 email checks? nothing!
On the other side, just that period of scattiness at the end of the day really impacted the rest of my day. I like that my standards for how I feel keep improving so the hangover from just this felt really strong in comparison to where I'm normally at now. My mind labels scatty email checking as being like a treat, but it's getting easier to notice that it does actually feel bad emotionally and so I can demote the activity from 'treat' to ' something not a treat lol'

I woke up really looking forward to my 2 hour sitting in silence this morning and had a good time doing it. On day 15 of that now!

Average mood still improving and I'm remember what it feels like to actually feel eager / happy / excited / pleased

[abrahammer117]

Day 69: posting here. Main guideline, focus on what's wanted with scant attention to unwanted
Day 16: 2 hours sitting in silence each morning. No exercises / books / phone etc. (RESTING)
Day 8: Meditate first thing for15 minutes. Just BREATHING more, intention of filling body with oxygen and appreciating how it feels (breathe & love)
Day 8: No random internet of any kind at work. Remember how harmful it is to well-being
Day 4: Only Check email twice a day. 1pm and 4pm.
Reminder: I am doing really well (the thought feels good and aligns with what I want)
Reminder: Step 1 is specific... Step 3 is general, really really general
Reminder: My only work is to improve my receptivity: Be well rested, have more fun.

Focusing on wanted side of things....
I'd like to acknowledge that the way I am currently living is allowing a continual and gradual release of resistance ( well done to me )
I'd like to acknowledge that I'm feeling a mixture of benefits and what feels like 'dopamine withdrawal' as my daily lifestyle involves less and less unnecessary mental stimulation - and that this is great as my brain is healing.

[abrahammer117]

Day 70: posting here. Main guideline, focus on what's wanted with scant attention to unwanted
Day 17: 2 hours sitting in silence each morning. No exercises / books / phone etc. (RESTING)
Day 8: Meditate once a day for 15 minutes.
Day 9: No random internet of any kind at work. Remember how harmful it is to well-being
Day 5: Only Check email twice a day. 1pm and 4pm.
Reminder: I am doing really well (the thought feels good and aligns with what I want)
Reminder: Step 1 is specific... Step 3 is general, really really general
Reminder: My only work is to improve my receptivity: Be well rested, have more fun.

Average mood still increasing. Every tiny step of the way this to a better and better average mood, there's a little voice in my head saying 'bad idea, feeling better like this will actually allow trouble or pain'. As Adamus from Crimson Circle calls it 'Demons in your mind that don't want you to go into the light.
Proud of myself for staying the course. This morning is my first morning for maybe over a year, not sure!, where I've woken up feeling good and eager to get out of bed and go sit on my sofa I'm feeling eager about work, plans are forming of things I wanna work on that feel fun to do. Relationship with girlfriend very good!

Maintaining the 'no random internet' and 'only checking emails twice a day' is having a wonderful impact.

[abrahammer117]

Day 71: posting here. Main guideline, focus on what's wanted with scant attention to unwanted
Day 18: 2 hours sitting in silence each morning. No exercises / books / phone etc. (RESTING)
Day 9: Meditate once a day for 15 minutes.
Day 10: No random internet of any kind at work. Remember how harmful it is to well-being
Day 6: Only Check email twice a day. 1pm and 4pm.
Reminder: I am doing really well (the thought feels good and aligns with what I want)
Reminder: Step 1 is specific... Step 3 is general, really really general
Reminder: My only work is to improve my receptivity: Be well rested, have more fun.

Sunday today...

[abrahammer117]

Day 72: posting here. Main guideline, focus on what's wanted with scant attention to unwanted
Day 19: 2 hours sitting in silence each morning. No exercises / books / phone etc. (RESTING)
Day 11: No random internet of any kind at work. Remember how harmful it is to well-being
Day 7: Only Check email twice a day. 1pm and 4pm.
Day 1: Tim Ferris slow carb diet as much as I can
Reminder: I am doing really well (the thought feels good and aligns with what I want)
Reminder: Step 1 is specific... Step 3 is general, really really general
Reminder: My only work is to improve my receptivity: Be well rested, have more fun.

Sat for 3 hours in silence this morning. I'm consistently waking up in a good mood now and excited to get out of bed to go grab a coffee and sit in silence
Average mood still creeping up.

Oooh this is good to point out. This time a month ago I had to credit card a monthly rent bill. Today I am able to pay it normally, so doing much better financially this month!

How I feel when I'm at work is totally different. There's things I'm excited to work on. I keep getting little good ideas here and there.

I'd really love to lose weight now. Over the years whenever I'm in a good place I go back to Tim Ferris' slow carb diet - not only do I lose fat really well from it, there's no calorie restrictions at all and I actually enjoy my food more. The biggest challenge is sharing my evening meal with my gf - but if I'd slow caring all-around these that's still a great step.

[abrahammer117]

Day 73: posting here. Main guideline, focus on what's wanted with scant attention to unwanted
Day 20: 2 hours sitting in silence each morning. No exercises / books / phone etc. (RESTING)
Day 12: No random internet of any kind at work. Remember how harmful it is to well-being
Day 8: Only Check email twice a day. 1pm and 4pm. Excess checking so harmful to well-being
Day 2: Tim Ferris slow carb diet as much as I can
Reminder: I am doing really well (the thought feels good and aligns with what I want)
Reminder: Step 1 is specific... Step 3 is general, really really general
Reminder: My only work is to improve my receptivity: Be well rested, have more fun.

3 hour sit this morning. I'm loving when I think about what I want, what I think about is 'I wanna feel even more rested, I wanna feel even sharper, I wanna feel even healthier' - in Hicks terms is a great sign that I'm intuitively looking towards feelings as the priority manifestation.
I'm loving that my mental habit of 'making myself do things' is falling away more and more. Oooh something cool is that I seem to need slightly less sleep now, waking up earlier reliably.

[abrahammer117]

Day 74: posting here. Main guideline, focus on what's wanted with scant attention to unwanted
Day 21: 2 hours sitting in silence each morning. No exercises / books / phone etc. (RESTING)
Day 13: No random internet of any kind at work. Remember how harmful it is to well-being
Day 9: Only Check email twice a day. 1.30pm and 4.30pm. Excess checking so harmful to well-being
Day 3: Tim Ferris slow carb diet as much as I can
Day1: 3min cold shower
Reminder: I am doing really well (the thought feels good and aligns with what I want)
Reminder: Step 1 is specific... Step 3 is general, really really general
Reminder: My only work is to improve my receptivity: Be well rested, have more fun.

Always helpful to reread ' focus on what's wanted with scant attention to unwanted'. I want this month to continue the financial improvement. That'd be nice
I'd like my energy levels and mental sharpness to continue to improve.

....

It's 4.30pm. I've had a day off today and would like to acknowledge that I feel much more energy and positivity right now than immediately after my 3 hour sit this morning. I felt quite mentally sluggish all morning and wanted to feel better ... so! I felt inspired to take a 3minute cold shower (very good lol) , had a nice slow carb lunch (organic chick peas, butter, passata) , worked out in the gym and did 20mins incline walking on a treadmill and got some shopping done. Overall feel much better for it. I'm loving this desire to feel better emotionally and where it takes me when I follow it. I feel like I'm entering a new stage where I am pretty well rested and to keep on this journey of feeling better I'll be more active and engaged.

******NON AB HICKS WARNING*****
I'm not sure how to write this 'focusing on wanted' but it's interesting all the same
This year my emotional guidance has steered me away more and more from chasing cheap dopamine hits like constantly checking email, chasing the next YouTube video, chasing sweet food etc. All this causes the brain to down regulate D2 receptors, (the brain's response to being bathed in dopamine for long periods which never happen in nature), this makes the rest of life seem dull and leads to cravings for more dopamine hits to feel normal. After you stop the supranormal dopamine spikes it takes about 2 weeks for the brain to start recovering and 3 weeks to get back to normal. I'm 3 weeks in to having essentially dopamine fasting mornings, 2 weeks into not abusing the internet at work and about a week into not abusing my email.
I can definitely feel the waves of dopamine withdrawal and then waves of more energy and positivity when the withdrawals lift.
*******************************************

[abrahammer117]

Day 75: posting here. Main guideline, focus on what's wanted with scant attention to unwanted
Day 22: No internet of any kind until 9.45am.
Day 14: No random internet of any kind at work. Remember how harmful it is to well-being
Day 20: Only Check email twice a day. 1.30pm and 4.30pm. Excess checking so harmful to well-being
Day 4: Tim Ferris slow carb diet (as much as I can)
Day 2: After waking, 3min cold shower, breakfast, meditation
Day 2: AB Hicks meditation before sleeping. Read 2 pages of getting into the vortex
Reminder: I am doing really well (the thought feels good and aligns with what I want)
Reminder: Step 1 is specific... Step 3 is general, really really general
Reminder: My only work is to improve my receptivity: Be well rested, have more fun.

Focusing on wanted side of things...
I'd like my average mood to keep improving. I believe this is happening
I want to go back to Ab Hicks advice on morning routine - shower then breakfast then meditation.

[abrahammer117]

Day 76: posting here. Main guideline, focus on what's wanted with scant attention to unwanted
Day 23: No internet of any kind until 9.45am. No lying down after waking unless reading / doing Wim Hof breathing
Day 15: No random internet of any kind at work. Remember how harmful it is to well-being
Day 11: Only Check email twice a day. 1.30pm and 4.30pm. Excess checking so harmful to well-being
Day 5: Tim Ferris slow carb diet (as much as I can)
Day 3: After waking, 3min cold shower, breakfast, meditation
Day 3: AB Hicks meditation before sleeping. Read 2 pages of getting into the vortex
Reminder: I am doing really well (the thought feels good and aligns with what I want)
Reminder: Step 1 is specific... Step 3 is general, really really general
Reminder: My only work is to improve my receptivity: Be well rested, have more fun.
Reminder: From Hicks Video "whenever thoughts of worry about money come up, laugh them away, make a decision to just laugh them away'

Focusing on wanted.... I'd like to make feeling well my priority, in the knowledge that life MUST improve to match my improved vibe.
I'd like to acknowledge again that this is gradual, releasing a little more resistance each day - and that I am indeed doing this.
A couple of good signs yesterday - I got in a bit of a rut trying to clear dust out of a frame, as soon as I noticed myself getting impatient I stopped and knew it was better to leave the job until tomorrow if it takes that long to feel fresh about it again.
There was a group social situation where I would normally check email or random internet or something during it, but didn't

Relationship with my girlfriend improving all the time!

Reading 2 pages of getting into the vortex before bed each night feels really good. Just going for that nudge - I can feel that more than 2 pages isn't helpful.

I'm on day 5 of slow carb diet by Tim Ferris. Whenever I'm having a feel good period I always go back to this diet as it feels really good, I enjoy my food more, I lose fat, I have more energy, cheat days are fun!

[abrahammer117]

Day 77: posting here. Main guideline, focus on what's wanted with scant attention to unwanted
Day 24: No internet of any kind until 9.45am.
Day 16: No random internet of any kind at work. Remember how harmful it is to well-being
Day 12: Only Check email twice a day. 1.30pm and 4.30pm. Excess checking so harmful to well-being
Day 6: Tim Ferris slow carb diet (as much as I can)

Focusing on wanted side of things... I want my average mood to keep on improving. Very glad that that's still happening!
There's lots of signs of improvements in all aspects of my life. I'm actually surprised just how much better I'm feeling