How to get from a restistant mentally ill mind to a healthy one?

[Layshii]

Exactly! Abe teach (and it is so logical) that ALL our resistances and hold-backs root in our judgement aka belief, that there are things that really are bad. In truth, they all help us. They help us to become clear, to decipher what we prefer etc. And some just do things THEIR unique way, that we don't understand- and don't need to understand, because this is a world of freedom, where everyone gets to have their unique Paradise. As my Greatgrandmother used to say: "The cat loves to eat mice. I don't." -And that can be the end of the story! We do NOT need to understand everything!

I'd love this to be the 'end of the story'. So I'm wondering, if I can decide to leave the resistant Me behind and decide to be my true playful Me. And hope that I'll become the latter more and more. Or if that would be too big of a jump I guess I have to feel around a bit to find out what works for me.

Exactly! I transcribed yesterday a youtube-clip, that is about exactly this. Maybe you like it, I post it in the next reply to not mix up this one Until then, mayb you like this image?

This is mastery.
And I am certain, that we deliberately come here and try things out that backfire, to DELIBERATELY understand what really works, and what not!
I am certain that some people (and especially those who are attracted to Spirituality which IS the science of understanding life in ALL ways, and especially special those who are fond of Abraham who call us students "the teachers of teachers") COME HERE to become spiritual masters. "Getting their stuff" and being healthy and sound is less fascinating to them, compared to UNDERSTANDING THIS TOPICS! You seem to be one of them, am I right?

It's more like that I don't have much choice Manifesting 'little' playful things like feathers, seeing cars of a certain color or getting a good parking space are all interfered by my resistance. I still manifested some of them and it got talked down by the doubts and negativity in my head. I was able to deliberately manifest something for fun, when I was once in a very very good and playful mood. So in order to get past this resistance it works better for me to go really general, aka reach for better feelings.
And I realize, that it would help to change my story:
I DID manifest feathers! I did that! I did manifest seeing blue glass! I did that! I manifested this fun little thing. I manifested ALL the details I wanted even to the point that it should come to me as a surprise! Isn't that amazing? I did manifest seeing the car in this rare color!
That's were my focus should be. Everything else, how long it took, the resistance, it doesn't matter. Only the outcome matters

We are willing to wade through the muck, to UNDERSTAND. We are willing to try again and again, to become CLEAR. And when we are- THAT is our triumph.

Are you aware of Abe's teaching of Step 4 (you seem beyond it!) and step 5? I have an inkling, that they would explain some hiccups to you. I was already able to re-collect some of the quotes of step 5, that got lost with the old Forum. You find them in the Quote-collection! When you google youtube with the term "Step 5" and "Abraham Hicks", you also should find tons of very good stuff.

Thank you, this is great advice! I'll look into it some more. Step 5 is really interesting. I also found a good audio in which Abraham elaborates about resistance. How you can ask yourself, what is bothering you right now. That already helped me to become more aware, of my thoughts. And I'm telling myself then, that it's not the circumstances that make me feel bad. It's not the unwanted stuff. That stuff doesn't do anything. By thinking like this, I can distance myself from unwanted and just let it exist and pass by.

[Paradise-on-Earth]

Layshii You give yourself such really perfect advice, that there is nothing to add to! You REALLY know this stuff, don't you!

I think you could simply use more practice in being nice to yourself on an even more regular level (we all do). Abe once said "all you need, is more time in the Vortex!" and that was meant to ALL of us. This basically is fine-tuning. You certainly have understood it intellectually!

What caught my eye from the very beginning was your headline (and of course you don't need to answer it), but you've put it out, at the most prominent place:
"How to get from a restistant mentally ill mind to a healthy one?"

Well when we are OOTV, you could ALL of us call "mentally ill". And when we are ITV, most of this would be healed. Was it that, that you wanted to say?
Or do you have a specific question regarding "mental illness"? Abe are big in downplaying all "labels" like that. It is not helpful to bash and judge -basically- VERY healthy impulses that come due to sick expectations of society or even specific people, and call those impulses "illness". In most cases, it's not the labeled person who is "ill" or sick, but those around. And when someone suffers, that in itself is not a problem either, but a helpful indicator- because it always hints to where relaxation, more love and flow are needed.

When I can serve you in more discussion about this, please tell me! It's a pleasure!

[Layshii]

Layshii You give yourself such really perfect advice, that there is nothing to add to! You REALLY know this stuff, don't you!

I think you could simply use more practice in being nice to yourself on an even more regular level (we all do). Abe once said "all you need, is more time in the Vortex!" and that was meant to ALL of us. This basically is fine-tuning. You certainly have understood it intellectually!

Haha, thank you!

I spoke with a therapist and they also said, I just need to practice more. So basically the negative beliefs will be still active and prevalent, until I get more used to being in positive momentum. I've also experienced some contrast lately that pushed me even more to practice feeling like my true self. So, I'm on my way

What caught my eye from the very beginning was your headline (and of course you don't need to answer it), but you've put it out, at the most prominent place:
"How to get from a restistant mentally ill mind to a healthy one?"

Well when we are OOTV, you could ALL of us call "mentally ill". And when we are ITV, most of this would be healed. Was it that, that you wanted to say?
Or do you have a specific question regarding "mental illness"? Abe are big in downplaying all "labels" like that. It is not helpful to bash and judge -basically- VERY healthy impulses that come due to sick expectations of society or even specific people, and call those impulses "illness". In most cases, it's not the labeled person who is "ill" or sick, but those around. And when someone suffers, that in itself is not a problem either, but a helpful indicator- because it always hints to where relaxation, more love and flow are needed.

When I can serve you in more discussion about this, please tell me! It's a pleasure!

I put 'mentally ill' in the headline, because in my experience there's a chance that people who have been labeled with this can relate better, where I'm coming from. I thought long about, if I should even put it in there. But I thought, let's try and find out what will happen

I'd say, I have been different from most people since I was a child. I had this belief that I belong to a people in which everyone respects each other. And hurting one another out of malice is unthinkable. Turns out, humans aren't like that. And I got scared of them. Since then I had this belief, that I'm powerless. And I've been wondering where these beliefs came from. But I'm even more interested in becoming my true self. I somehow knew since I was a teenager, that this is my goal. And later on I knew, that the self I had become was the opposite of my true self. So I totally agree, that 'mental illness' is just OOTV. And when it becomes visible to others they put a label on it.
I was also labeled with being slightly on the autism spectrum. But I can relate more to what Abraham say about there being people that are more sensible to negative momentum and who do not want to jump through the hoops of society, because that feels horrible. So I'm trying to figure out how to deal with that and how to get back to my true self.

I feel more like an alien stranded on a foreign planet. But I want to be a playful alien and to turn this life into a fun trip

Uh, what else did I want to write about? I like your transcript "What is the "I"?" Definitely going to read that again. There was something about hope. I've been wondering how to get to hope. And recently I attracted another 'proof' of a theory that one of my physical illnesses could be from a certain medication. My mind can settle on this belief and I felt hope. It was such a wonderful feeling. I didn't think it could feel this good. And if not taking the med helps me being open for my healthy body to manifest, then that's okay for now. Path of least resistance

Haha, I'm just rambling now. But thank you for your wonderful input. It's been very inspiring

[Paradise-on-Earth]

I like your transcript "What is the "I"?" Definitely going to read that again.

I wanted to bring it here, so that others who might follow our talk, can know what you mean!

What is the "I"?
What the word "Sin" really means- and the meaning of other emotional words


HS:
Hi Abraham!

Abe:
Adjust that microphone, just a little bit for you...

HS:
A little closer, okay...

Abe:
She hardly ever knocks anyone's teeth out!

HS (laughing):
I'm relieved to hear that! And it's kind of the issue for me, as I'm right on the edge of getting what you're talking about, and losing it, and where I sort of go with this... who or what or where is this "I"? The "I" that I've heard one of my teachers said, was "the losers in the cosmic rap game, we get to be human and forget who we really are." Or, Abraham implies that I am aware of 5% of who I really am. So, "I" is to me the observer, or what? How do I know myself? I'm aware of my thoughts. I'm aware of listening to you. I don't... I is somewhere floating around, in your kind of a concept. For me... I'm not sure it's it's a place? It seems like it's real when I say "I". I guess. I understand what I'm talking about, but also I think the I is, when I studied to be a priest for a while, I was pleased to hear that in the word of the language Aramaic, that Jesus spoke,

the word for sin meant "to miss the target". It didn't mean you were bad, it just meant you missed the bullseye.

Just you know when you know who you really are. Then there's no sin. So, sinners just don't know who they really are! -When you know who you really are, then you are all of it, or...

Abe:
Sin is: The literal expression of sin is "just without the fullness of who I am".
And it doesn't mean that you have done something wrong, and so someone else is withholding from you something, in punishment. It means that, in your vibrational state of being, you are disallowing the fullness of who you are.

So we make it sort of complicated when we try to identify as... let us start in this way. When we visit with you, and you have been present in gatherings, you know what it feels like. We always enjoy coming together! You dragged your physical bodies here, and you've been grappling with life. You've been trying to wrestle your kids to the ground, and get them to do what you need them to do, and, and, and. So, always as you gather, there's a lot of stuff going on, vibrationally, in a gathering like this. And then, as we begin to play together, and as we ramble from our point of alignment, with all that you really are, as you are kind enough to join us worldwide, over a hundred countries coming to play with us in these broadcasts, these days... as you come with your bodies, as you come with your mind, as you come with your focus- and we we ramble and you focus, as we speak from the point of view of who you really are, you can't spend too much time listening to us. Really, ten minutes is enough, before you find resonance with the fullness of who you are!

And it's that feeling of resonance that we desire, that you begin reaching for rather than trying to to get glimpses in any other way. Just feel it!
You know when a feeling of clarity comes over you.
You know when that feeling of A-ha-ness comes.
You know when that feeling of comfort comes!
You know how when you just feel the allrightness with where you are, in any moment!

That's that resonance with the fullness of who you are!
And that's who you are. And anything less than that, is "without who you are".

It's some sort... and we don't like the word "sin", because it has been so misunderstood for so long! But anytime you deprive yourself, and only you can do it or pinch yourself off even a little bit- and only you can do it- from the fullness of who you are; anytime you're mad at somebody- even when they've done something really screwy and stupid- every time you're mad at them, you are without the viewpoint of source.

And you miss that the viewpoint of source! It's important to the way you feel in a moment.
It's important to who you are, because when source is being allowed by you in a moment, you just feel so good! You evoke the best from the moment. You just dance and fly high, and have fun, and have clarity- and that's the way you intend to live. Not one of you came to prove yourself worthy! It's such an interesting thing to watch humans line up with each other, in a comparative dance, feeling competition about each other. And in your competitive nature,

instead of inspiring each other to greatness, instead what you do is diminish your own greatness!

And you know it that's what that feeling of jealousy is?
A feeling of jealousy or a feeling of not enough this or a feeling of vulnerability, or a feeling of "I should be more than I am, and I need to be doing something different"... all of those feelings are feelings which are indicators of your discord. Which is depriving you to some degree, of the fullness of who you are.
So, that's why we begin today talking about the emotional manifestation! Because we think you're hitting upon the thing, that's the most important thing of all, and that is knowing who you are! But not just knowing who you are, being who you are!

Esther's been playing with emotional words, wanting for her herself personally, just sort of ferret out what they mean. And what they mean is only how they feel! And so, when she thinks of an emotion like "Hope", she can feel some vulnerability in hope. Because hope is... hope... is hopeful! Hope is not right there! Hope is not where the source within her is. Because source KNOWS.

So then she thinks about the word "Faith". Faith... faith feels like hope a little bit, to Esther. To some, faith feels more like more certainty. But to Esther, faith feels sort of hopeful! (...) Esther likes the feeling of Belief more than the feeling of Hope. She likes the feeling of Belief more than the feeling even of Faith! Because faith is sort of... she's heard so long "Faith"... faith, is about knowing something that you can't see. But the "you can't see it" part is too big for her. So it's still something missing. So, faith and hope don't feel as good as belief.

But, oh, "Trust." Now, that's a good feeling word! Trust. Trust and Knowing feel the same to Esther. "Knowing" feels the same, knowing and trust feel the same! Well, Knowing. Knowing feels even better to us, than trust! Because trust is... trust as a little outside of you! WE'RE KNOWING! And so, now we're using these words. We're using emotional words, because we're wanting to evoke vibration within you.

Because we want you to realize, that who you are is a vibrational feeler.

And when you come in a moment where you're having a conversation or an interaction with anyone in life, and you feel love, you feel appreciation, you feel elation, you feel passion, you feel that frisky, robust, passionate awareness of life- that's who you are.

So, we've taken this conversation completely away from the direction that you were putting it, because we don't want you to think you're way down there, so much as feel your way there. Because everything that you are, will bring about this responding feeling, you see! And what all of this conversation really rests on, what the basis of it is, is: You have to accept that you were Source Energy before you came into this physical body!

But that you still are Source Energy. And the source is right here, with you!

In other words, it's easy for some of you to witness Esther in this mode of allowing, and receiving Abraham. It's hard not to acknowledge, that something's going on, that is other than Esther's human experience. Her mind is working so fast, her vibrational frequency is so high, if you put a meter on her, it would freak you out in terms of what's going on, vibrationally.

Doctors would worry about her, if they were monitoring her in this moment! It is not a normal human experience, to be so aligned and so allowing, with so much source flowing through you!

But you are experiencing the same thing! In other words, Esther's doing the interpreting of that which we are. But you're out there, all around the world, feeling the fullness of who you are, reveling and resonating in this knowledge. So, as you feel this, do you feel the fullness of who you, are right now? Don't you just know that everything's alright with you? Aren't you feeling more sure, in every moment- even as we're focused here together, that you are Source Energy in physical bodies?

And don't you feel sort of eager to express the source-ness of yourself, in moment after moment? Aren't you feeling that more, than you did when you walked in the door? Aren't you feeling it more maybe, than you've ever felt it in your life? Or (teasing) maybe it's just us! Maybe! But what we're getting at here is: It's those feelings, that you're reaching for. That's the main event! That's always what you're reaching for!

Don't try too hard to figure it out. Don't try too hard to figure it out in terms of... of conversation. Don't try too hard to figure out what your point of view is! Just FEEL your point of view! And know, that your point of view, when you are really in sync with the wholeness of who you are, which is what your question is about and what you MUST experience! Because once you experienced it, you can't go back! Once you feel that, and KNOW that, you've FELT it- then just feel for it, again and again and again. And don't accept anything less than that!

Don't accept confusion, it's not who you are! Don't accept anger toward other humans- it's not who you are! Don't accept vulnerability, it's not who you are. When you feel it, know that it's not who you are, and feel yourself into alignment.
That's what we would do, if we were in your physical body.

from the clip Abraham Hicks - Define The Meaning Of Sin

[Paradise-on-Earth]

I spoke with a therapist and they also said, I just need to practice more. So basically the negative beliefs will be still active and prevalent, until I get more used to being in positive momentum.

I think this is SO basic and simple, and yet, we still tend to forget it. To "tune out" (aka "clean up", -demanifest-...) something, we must activate (tune into) something different, INSTEAD.

I've also experienced some contrast lately that pushed me even more to practice feeling like my true self. So, I'm on my way

that is what contrast ALWAYS does for us, if only we would notice! Yes, you certainly are!

I put 'mentally ill' in the headline, because in my experience there's a chance that people who have been labeled with this can relate better, where I'm coming from. I thought long about, if I should even put it in there. But I thought, let's try and find out what will happen

I'd say, I have been different from most people since I was a child. I had this belief that I belong to a people in which everyone respects each other. And hurting one another out of malice is unthinkable. Turns out, humans aren't like that. And I got scared of them.

So completely understandable! And not "Ill" AT ALL. As I said- it's really more those that you observed that are the sick ones, right?
Many "lightworkers" aka people who came here with the intention to uplift, heal, envision solutions, connect those that could need each other and hold the light, are exactly as you- and I count myself into this group, as well.

Abe have described that humanity was on a very big experiment, wanting to understand what would happen if we forget what and who we truly are. Because, to REALLY understand love (and freedom and joy and empowerment- all those stances on top of the EGS), this love (or freedom and power...) must be an UNCONDITIONAL CHOICE.

It is obvious that someone who never "fell out of love" and experienced the loneliness, emptyness and all the negative emotions when you have moved away from love, does not deeply KNOW what it indeed is! -They are always in love. So it is their "normal", as for a fish within the water. The fish has no idea how life is without water, and so he doesn't really know water. -Abraham have once said, that we humans teach Source about love, in a depth that source COULD not know- BECAUSE we are willing to suffer in the contrast. "Far away from home" so to speak, exploring life without love and understanding, and than IN THAT, become able to love manyfolds deeper than ever before.

That is the reason that humans can be so unspeakable cruel- because they want to know love more than all other species.

Since then I had this belief, that I'm powerless. And I've been wondering where these beliefs came from.

I have to admit that I'm curious about that, too. If you care to dig into that, it would be a pleasure to follow you on that! But please- only if that calls you!

But I'm even more interested in becoming my true self. I somehow knew since I was a teenager, that this is my goal.

Maybe the one helps the other? As I had written above... maybe we can only really KNOW ourselves, when we have dared to look at our "flaws"?

And later on I knew, that the self I had become was the opposite of my true self. So I totally agree, that 'mental illness' is just OOTV. And when it becomes visible to others they put a label on it.

Oh, yes...

I was also labeled with being slightly on the autism spectrum. But I can relate more to what Abraham say about there being people that are more sensible to negative momentum and who do not want to jump through the hoops of society, because that feels horrible. So I'm trying to figure out how to deal with that and how to get back to my true self.

I admit that I don't truly get what is meant with "autism". One of my sons is on the spectrum also, while highly functioning. I always found that a focus on what you enjoy most, and a deliberate turning away from what you don't like is healthy...

2 of my children are diagnosed with ADHD, and within that I realized that I have the very same "condition", a highly active and -capable brain that refuses (and is not capable, really) to go deeply into things it is not joyfully interested in. I think this is also very healthy!

I feel more like an alien stranded on a foreign planet. But I want to be a playful alien and to turn this life into a fun trip

But really... I think there is a high probability that you ARE an alien. Many teachers and channels speak about that, for this huge "Time of Awakening" as Abe call it, aka the "big shift into the New Earth" that others call it, many many many "aliens" from other dimensions, who have a bold momentum on being masters of love have incarnated themselves into human clothes, so to speak, in this special time. Because they wanted to help it hands on, as ground-crew, so to speak.

There was something about hope. I've been wondering how to get to hope.

...as you get to any other emotion on the EGS: by allowing yourself to gradually feel better. (...When you have been below Hope before, of course! Otherwise you would need to pinch yourself off, until you are down, in Hope... )

And recently I attracted another 'proof' of a theory that one of my physical illnesses could be from a certain medication. My mind can settle on this belief and I felt hope. It was such a wonderful feeling. I didn't think it could feel this good. And if not taking the med helps me being open for my healthy body to manifest, then that's okay for now. Path of least resistance

Exactly!! Bless such wonderful, bold guidance! Only YOU know what is better or worse for YOU, in your here and now!

Haha, I'm just rambling now. But thank you for your wonderful input. It's been very inspiring

Oh yes, it is! For me, as well so, thank YOU! And about "rambling", this is such a good thing! Don't buy into the idea here neither, you shouldn't talk when you are joyful or interested, and/or that this would be "unwanted (or sick)". Take your time in it and be proud about it!

Rampage
Abe use the term mostly as "Rampages of Appreciation". But you also could go on Rampages of Anger or other Negativity- aka, a pity-party or a down-spiral. But why would you do that?
Rampages as Abe-processes are a deliberate rambling-attempt to appreciate specifically, and in that to enhance the wanted momentum until you really "fly high". It is a powerful tool. Don't use it when you don't feel authentically solid and joyful at the beginning already, because the big momentum that you are creating will painfully backlash and throw you over, when you just faked being ITV in the beginning.
There are some examples where Abe show us how a SOOTHING rampage is done. It is not getting specific, but deliberately general and is just because of the repetition a "rampage". You could look for Abraham youtube- clips as "nothing matters very much" to see how that goes.

from Dictionary for Abe-Lingo (=special words inside the Abraham-Universe) in the Resources- Subforum

[Layshii]

I like your transcript "What is the "I"?" Definitely going to read that again.

I wanted to bring it here, so that others who might follow our talk, can know what you mean!

oh, you already did on page 1 of this thread That's what I was referring to. But I guess, twice is better than once

[Layshii]

I wanted to only answer, when I'm in a higher vibration. But these days I've been in this predicament, that initially made me create this thread.
I feel desperate and hopeless. I run around trying to get help, be it from therapists, doctors, departments, etc. The results were not what I want. I tried medications and antidepressants to no avail in the past. And I am not sure, if I should try this path again or if it will be the same results as before. I know my negative beliefs and past experiences are the cause of this. Still, I end up letting these negative beliefs take over and succumb to feeling disappointed and hopeless.

I want to know how to get myself to trust source. It should know all the solutions and guide me to them. But not, if I'm OOTV most of the time.
By just sitting around and running away from reality, the things I wanted to change to the better, didn't in my experience. People around me are firm believers, that you have to actively look for help and solutions. But doing this doesn't feel good, same as looking at what-is. I feel like running around like a headless chicken just to get rejected everywhere.
Time's ticking away and I'm afraid things will get worse in the future. So there's additional pressure. Otherwise I could give up, accept my current what-is and just focus on feeling better. But that doesn't seem like a good option either

I'd love to leave everything behind for a while and live in something like an Abraham community. And getting 'brainwashed' daily until I have enough trust and positive beliefs, so I can go back and do the rest on my own. Or something like an Abraham therapy. Or being able to stop my thoughts altogether and just stare into the void to let my Inner Being take over and help me.
If it weren't for these voices in my head, resisting all these ideas, telling me, they're impossible and I'll end up being disappointed again and again.

I know, I can't jump to the solutions from where I am now. Just wanted to share, what's going on and getting some more clarity.
I feel, there's not much I can do right now other, than making peace, with things just being like this in this moment of time.

[Paradise-on-Earth]

I like your transcript "What is the "I"?" Definitely going to read that again.

I wanted to bring it here, so that others who might follow our talk, can know what you mean!

oh, you already did on page 1 of this thread That's what I was referring to. But I guess, twice is better than once

ups!! but I guess you are right...

[Paradise-on-Earth]

I wanted to only answer, when I'm in a higher vibration.

I think this is wise. In a higher energy you will be able to hear/get solutions (or even "higher" solutions!)

But these days I've been in this predicament, that initially made me create this thread.
I feel desperate and hopeless. I run around trying to get help, be it from therapists, doctors, departments, etc. The results were not what I want.

See above... LOA can't bring you something that you are no match to... (Esther said often: "LOA can be a bitch."). Duh.

I tried medications and antidepressants to no avail in the past. And I am not sure, if I should try this path again or if it will be the same results as before. I know my negative beliefs and past experiences are the cause of this. Still, I end up letting these negative beliefs take over and succumb to feeling disappointed and hopeless.

It sucks! It really does. The sooner you embrace it and relax into (!) it, the faster you will be able to float. It is your resistance that binds you.

I want to know how to get myself to trust source.

...that is a journey. It isn't achieved by willpower, but by many many babysteps, where you let go a bit, relax a bit, while you ask source to bring you solutions. Don't get me wrong- "trust" is never about jumping from the roof and "trusting" that source will catch you. You are not asked to do dumb shit. You are just asked for letting go a tiny bit. For loosing up your iron grip, a bit. To relax- for maybe, 3 days in a row, where promise yourself that you do NOT think crap. Do you get what I mean? Let source have the reigns in a REASONABLE frame. Not too long, not too much! Just so that it wouldn't hurt if it does not work. And watch what happens.

It should know all the solutions and guide me to them. But not, if I'm OOTV most of the time.

Source know the answers ALL the time. No matter what you do, or not! The question is- are you on the vibrational wavelength to "get", aka hear them?

By just sitting around and running away from reality, the things I wanted to change to the better, didn't in my experience. People around me are firm believers, that you have to actively look for help and solutions. But doing this doesn't feel good, same as looking at what-is. I feel like running around like a headless chicken just to get rejected everywhere.

because it's neither about the "action journey" (as running around, or seeking for help...) nor about a "non-action journey" (as sitting around and running from reality).

It is about FEELING BETTER. IN ANY WAY YOU CAN. -Small steps count, and actually are what is preferred!!
Enjoying good food does. Sleeping does. (good) sex does. (good) books, movies, music... do. Petting a cat does. Working out might do it. Cooking a sheet of cookies, or a complicated 3-layers-cake might. WHATEVER rings your bells! And then again and again. Going cold turkey on miffed thoughts WILL do! For... lets say, 3 days. When it doesn't work, nothing is lost, right?

Time's ticking away and I'm afraid things will get worse in the future. So there's additional pressure.

Ah, that's a good one!! What a mean, devilish trick from your inner torturer... But, so what? Do you think, you could survive 3 days without panicking all the time? Because, that's what it takes, to get over this down-spiral! NO PANICKING and shitty thoughts, for 3 days, NONE. After this 3 days, you are allowed to panic as much as you want! Deal?

Otherwise I could give up, accept my current what-is and just focus on feeling better. But that doesn't seem like a good option either

In my opinion and experience, you can play that game endlessly, until you croak. THEN you will go ITV all by yourself: "Whheeeeeeee!" ...Or you could stop it NOW and save yourself a ton of pain, and start to build, step by tiny step, a Paradisy-life instead.... But, it is your choice!

I'd love to leave everything behind for a while and live in something like an Abraham community. And getting 'brainwashed' daily until I have enough trust and positive beliefs, so I can go back and do the rest on my own. Or something like an Abraham therapy.

Sounds good to me... If you have the money, an Abe-cruise would be a pretty nice option to do so!

Or being able to stop my thoughts altogether and just stare into the void to let my Inner Being take over and help me.

...or at least, until you are bored like hell, and feel CALLED to do something. As, take a nap. Take a walk. Eat a really nice turkey-sandwich! Or... or... (see above). THIS IS YOUR LIFE: You owe NOBODY an excuse to do the things that are fun!!

If it weren't for these voices in my head, resisting all these ideas, telling me, they're impossible and I'll end up being disappointed again and again.

Trust me, I've been there and done that. It doesn't lead anywhere, right? Risk getting disappointed, and grab life by it's tail. Mustn't be a tigers tail. Maybe, looking for a fun tail that you can grab would be exactly what is the next step? (each pun that you can find in this is intended!)

I know, I can't jump to the solutions from where I am now. Just wanted to share, what's going on and getting some more clarity.
I feel, there's not much I can do right now other, than making peace, with things just being like this in this moment of time.

maybe, and having some cookies. Enjoying some sun-rays on your face. Or raindrops (depending in the weather...) SOMETHING NICE! Because life is better when you enjoy it- at least a BIT. Even in the dark deep depressive holes, it's nicer when you get yurself a pillow and a cup of hot chocolate!

[Awa]

You've already gotten very good answers from PoE, I can't add much more

(...)
By just sitting around and running away from reality, the things I wanted to change to the better, didn't in my experience. People around me are firm believers, that you have to actively look for help and solutions. But doing this doesn't feel good, same as looking at what-is. I feel like running around like a headless chicken just to get rejected everywhere.
Time's ticking away and I'm afraid things will get worse in the future. So there's additional pressure. Otherwise I could give up, accept my current what-is and just focus on feeling better. But that doesn't seem like a good option either

Abraham is not saying, that we should not act and take action. Constantly falling into wild actionism is just as strange as constantly thinking. It's an interaction. One influences the other. If they read a book, listen to music, pet the cat, take a bath, watch the sunset, have an uplifting conversation, consciously relax, hang out in the Abe Forum, etc., then that is an action. One act.

It's completely okay to ask for help or see a doctor. Of course, it is always better to calm down, reach for the next better thought and only then act. That would be the ideal situation. And when that is the case, the solutions come as a subtle inspiration, a sudden realization, a quiet impulse, an illuminating idea or an enlightenment. In my opinion, the solutions never seem loud and rumbling.

If a water pipe bursts, you must act immediately and hire appropriate specialist personnel. If the car is broken, we will take it to the workshop without hesitation. And sometimes you just need a doctor.
Of course it's nicer if we go to the masseur, the hairdresser or the beautician to be pampered, but these are also actions and activities, albeit at the other end of the stick.