How to get from a restistant mentally ill mind to a healthy one?

[Layshii]

See above... LOA can't bring you something that you are no match to... (Esther said often: "LOA can be a bitch."). Duh.

Ha, yeah, thank you for the reminder I need to remind myself of that more often. I'm thinking about rereading LoA books or listening to LoA basics.
And I'm glad, Esther thinks similar (I call it an a..hole tough)

It sucks! It really does. The sooner you embrace it and relax into (!) it, the faster you will be able to float. It is your resistance that binds you.

That's the part, I'd like to be better at.

...that is a journey. It isn't achieved by willpower, but by many many babysteps, where you let go a bit, relax a bit, while you ask source to bring you solutions. Don't get me wrong- "trust" is never about jumping from the roof and "trusting" that source will catch you. You are not asked to do dumb shit. You are just asked for letting go a tiny bit. For loosing up your iron grip, a bit. To relax- for maybe, 3 days in a row, where promise yourself that you do NOT think crap. Do you get what I mean? Let source have the reigns in a REASONABLE frame. Not too long, not too much! Just so that it wouldn't hurt if it does not work. And watch what happens.

I think, I get it. I also listened to an Abraham segment about step 5 in which they told the HS the same thing. The HS wanted to jump head on into the details while Abraham guided them to be okay with going general. And like what you said, to relax a bit more.
I recently experienced how my inner guidance was telling me to take action, while my mind talked me out of it. Turns out, my inner guidance knew, what would happen and let me know a better way in advance. That helped me to realize a bit more, that my mind shouldn't be in charge any more. Instead my inner guidance should. Also there's another contrast. Taking action would probably make things worse. The only way to a better solution would be in trusting source. So I want to have more proof now, that shows me I can trust source and that I am powerful

Source know the answers ALL the time. No matter what you do, or not! The question is- are you on the vibrational wavelength to "get", aka hear them?

I wish I were, haha. I hope to become better at it.

because it's neither about the "action journey" (as running around, or seeking for help...) nor about a "non-action journey" (as sitting around and running from reality).

It is about FEELING BETTER. IN ANY WAY YOU CAN. -Small steps count, and actually are what is preferred!!
Enjoying good food does. Sleeping does. (good) sex does. (good) books, movies, music... do. Petting a cat does. Working out might do it. Cooking a sheet of cookies, or a complicated 3-layers-cake might. WHATEVER rings your bells! And then again and again. Going cold turkey on miffed thoughts WILL do! For... lets say, 3 days. When it doesn't work, nothing is lost, right?

And that's when my mind goes: 'No, don't trust that, it's not enough to feel better, blablabla.' That's why I want to learn the basics with someone's help. Distance myself more from my thoughts and trust more in my own inner guidance. I'm currently looking into schema therapy, that should help in that aspect. Now I just need to believe in a miracle, that I get a 1 on 1 therapy that is paid by my insurance company despite reality looking like it's impossible at the moment.

Ah, that's a good one!! What a mean, devilish trick from your inner torturer... But, so what? Do you think, you could survive 3 days without panicking all the time? Because, that's what it takes, to get over this down-spiral! NO PANICKING and shitty thoughts, for 3 days, NONE. After this 3 days, you are allowed to panic as much as you want! Deal?

I don't really know how to do that for 3 days, though. Maybe, if I could get high on drugs for 3 days straight, haha.
If I could stop the fears and negative thoughts, my life would already be much better and things would be much easier.. Not to be a Debby Downer. I'm just wondering how to do that when I'm dealing with a so called personality order. But I could try to just feel a bit better for 3 days.

In my opinion and experience, you can play that game endlessly, until you croak. THEN you will go ITV all by yourself: "Whheeeeeeee!" ...Or you could stop it NOW and save yourself a ton of pain, and start to build, step by tiny step, a Paradisy-life instead.... But, it is your choice!

So, again, if I would have been able to do that, I wouldn't write here with you I don't see much choice, when my mind that has been programmed falsely takes over and throws resistance at me every time I try to change something to the better. That's why I think all these therapies exist, that teach you how to break the identification with your mind, how to deal with negative beliefs and how to gently build new ones. The only way to address this now is, what you already said: relax more, go more general, make peace with everything, feel better

Sounds good to me... If you have the money, an Abe-cruise would be a pretty nice option to do so!

I'm looking more for something that's one on one. Or at least a very small group.

maybe, and having some cookies. Enjoying some sun-rays on your face. Or raindrops (depending in the weather...) SOMETHING NICE! Because life is better when you enjoy it- at least a BIT. Even in the dark deep depressive holes, it's nicer when you get yurself a pillow and a cup of hot chocolate!

Thank you I love the picture
I'd like to get more and more into the mindset, that this is all a game. If I find people, having an opinion that angers me - it's just a game, they are playing. Let them play. The neighbors doing stuff that I don't like: It's a game. It makes me want to trust more in source and my own power. I want to know, this is a game. I can play and see what kind of results I'll get. But I have to be playful and remember, that this is all a game. Step by step

[Layshii]

I think this is SO basic and simple, and yet, we still tend to forget it. To "tune out" (aka "clean up", -demanifest-...) something, we must activate (tune into) something different, INSTEAD.

And that needs trust, practice, dedication, I'd say in my case

that is what contrast ALWAYS does for us, if only we would notice! Yes, you certainly are!

Thank you! It still baffles me, when I listen to Abraham talk about step 5 and on how to deal with contrast. It's so different from what I'm used to

So completely understandable! And not "Ill" AT ALL. As I said- it's really more those that you observed that are the sick ones, right?

That's how it feels and were my strong resistance comes from

Many "lightworkers" aka people who came here with the intention to uplift, heal, envision solutions, connect those that could need each other and hold the light, are exactly as you- and I count myself into this group, as well.

Abe have described that humanity was on a very big experiment, wanting to understand what would happen if we forget what and who we truly are. Because, to REALLY understand love (and freedom and joy and empowerment- all those stances on top of the EGS), this love (or freedom and power...) must be an UNCONDITIONAL CHOICE.

It is obvious that someone who never "fell out of love" and experienced the loneliness, emptyness and all the negative emotions when you have moved away from love, does not deeply KNOW what it indeed is! -They are always in love. So it is their "normal", as for a fish within the water. The fish has no idea how life is without water, and so he doesn't really know water. -Abraham have once said, that we humans teach Source about love, in a depth that source COULD not know- BECAUSE we are willing to suffer in the contrast. "Far away from home" so to speak, exploring life without love and understanding, and than IN THAT, become able to love manyfolds deeper than ever before.

That is the reason that humans can be so unspeakable cruel- because they want to know love more than all other species.

That's really cool to know. I think so, too. Life here reminds me of playing role play games in which you can choose what kind of character you want to be. Which personality you want to play and if there are any perks, disadvantages, challenging things you want to experience. And sometimes you want to play an a..hole or a weak person that has the chance to become strong. And it's all just for fun. We just chose to forget, that we are the players, in order to get fully immersed.
The aspect of love is really interesting. I haven't thought much about that before. But it makes sense.

There was this cartoon character. He was very earnest, not showing much emotions and rather cold. It turned out, he was just playing this kind of personality and immersed himself fully into this role. In reality he was the absolute opposite. Outgoing, showing his emotions all the time, full of energy like a happy child. When I saw that, I knew, it's similar for me. I came into this life to experience what 'powerless', 'fear' 'illness' and so on feels like. And I wanted to know, if I can become my true self again, despite all the obstacles. At least that would explain a lot and why the things Abraham say make so much sense to me So maybe I 'implanted' that belief of being powerless, in order to experience this. I chose my family that already has some vibes of being 'powerless' going for them and maybe even the bullies I met.

Maybe the one helps the other? As I had written above... maybe we can only really KNOW ourselves, when we have dared to look at our "flaws"?

I look at them and... I don't like them I know, unconditional love thinks differently.

I admit that I don't truly get what is meant with "autism". One of my sons is on the spectrum also, while highly functioning. I always found that a focus on what you enjoy most, and a deliberate turning away from what you don't like is healthy...

I admit, that I don't get it, either. I feel like at this point, they're putting on everyone that doesn't fit into their 'norms' the label autism In my case I've been mainly highly focused on unwanted. And felt big resistance towards it. And towards negative beliefs of others. Unfortunately I didn't know what fear and anger really meant. That those beliefs are not in alignment with my inner being and that I should have believed in my own knowledge instead. That's what I'm learning now. And I agree, the other way round, focused on joy, is healthy.

2 of my children are diagnosed with ADHD, and within that I realized that I have the very same "condition", a highly active and -capable brain that refuses (and is not capable, really) to go deeply into things it is not joyfully interested in. I think this is also very healthy!

I guess, I'm on my way to getting there, since the old way of dealing with things I'm not interested in, isn't working for me anymore I've been diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder. Basically I run away from everyone and everything unwanted in order to get back into a higher vibration. That's kind of a survival strategy.

But really... I think there is a high probability that you ARE an alien. Many teachers and channels speak about that, for this huge "Time of Awakening" as Abe call it, aka the "big shift into the New Earth" that others call it, many many many "aliens" from other dimensions, who have a bold momentum on being masters of love have incarnated themselves into human clothes, so to speak, in this special time. Because they wanted to help it hands on, as ground-crew, so to speak.

I wonder, if they thought, things were changing too slowly here. Or if 'aliens' are needed to bring change at all. I often find myself wondering how most people can be okay with this world and adapt so easily. It's really fascinating to me.

Oh yes, it is! For me, as well so, thank YOU! And about "rambling", this is such a good thing! Don't buy into the idea here neither, you shouldn't talk when you are joyful or interested, and/or that this would be "unwanted (or sick)". Take your time in it and be proud about it!

Thank you, thank you

[Layshii]

You've already gotten very good answers from PoE, I can't add much more

Abraham is not saying, that we should not act and take action. Constantly falling into wild actionism is just as strange as constantly thinking. It's an interaction. One influences the other. If they read a book, listen to music, pet the cat, take a bath, watch the sunset, have an uplifting conversation, consciously relax, hang out in the Abe Forum, etc., then that is an action. One act.

That's a good point

It's completely okay to ask for help or see a doctor. Of course, it is always better to calm down, reach for the next better thought and only then act. That would be the ideal situation. And when that is the case, the solutions come as a subtle inspiration, a sudden realization, a quiet impulse, an illuminating idea or an enlightenment. In my opinion, the solutions never seem loud and rumbling.

If a water pipe bursts, you must act immediately and hire appropriate specialist personnel. If the car is broken, we will take it to the workshop without hesitation. And sometimes you just need a doctor.
Of course it's nicer if we go to the masseur, the hairdresser or the beautician to be pampered, but these are also actions and activities, albeit at the other end of the stick.

I guess, that would be the norm. For me these topics are down at the bottom of the EGS. I tried to feel better about them, including the topic of going to find a therapy. But I ended up getting rejected and only got offered stuff, that I didn't want. I know, there's this belief blocking, that I won't get what I want. And reality is reflecting this belief.
I had similar topics. With some I got so angry, that I stopped wanting, what I wanted and changed my thinking to 'I don't care anymore!' That's when the resistance was gone and the manifestation came.
I had the 'therapy' topic already some time ago. I worked through the fears and doubts and found better feeling thoughts. It was tough, but at least I got a manifestation that was close to what I wanted.
This time I don't really feel like working through the resistance again, since it seems to me, that my negative belief hasn't changed. And I haven't been at the point yet to get angry enough to drop the subject altogether. And focusing on other subjects, hasn't changed anything so far either - at least not the negative belief standing in the way. So I'm currently trying to find out, what way feels best. Or how to feel better in general. (and if this all sounds confusing, that's because I might be confused myself at the moment )

[Paradise-on-Earth]

Ha, yeah, thank you for the reminder I need to remind myself of that more often. I'm thinking about rereading LoA books or listening to LoA basics.
And I'm glad, Esther thinks similar (I call it an a..hole tough)

we'll never know what Esther REALLY says! She's a lady, and Abe don't want to shame her!

I think, I get it. I also listened to an Abraham segment about step 5 in which they told the HS the same thing. The HS wanted to jump head on into the details while Abraham guided them to be okay with going general. And like what you said, to relax a bit more.
I recently experienced how my inner guidance was telling me to take action, while my mind talked me out of it. Turns out, my inner guidance knew, what would happen and let me know a better way in advance. That helped me to realize a bit more, that my mind shouldn't be in charge any more. Instead my inner guidance should. Also there's another contrast. Taking action would probably make things worse. The only way to a better solution would be in trusting source. So I want to have more proof now, that shows me I can trust source and that I am powerful

I am certain that you get it!! But "getting it" and having ingrained it, in a deep way that this is your new normal go-to, and not each time a drag, that takes PRACTICE. Small, nice, achievable steps- but those every day, maybe several times.

That's why I do this processes, and normally don't let one slip: AT LEAST once a day some re-adjusting or appreciation or getting-aware! Don't make it hard work. Let it be short, and sweet. But, DO it!

I wish I were, haha. I hope to become better at it.

I so love this cheeky quote where Abe say, the Art of Allowing is an Art, not an Accident. You have to practice it- as every Art must be practiced!

And that's when my mind goes: 'No, don't trust that, it's not enough to feel better, blablabla.'

Exactly. And that's why you really need a deliberate decision to yourself, that you will give this an honest try within a reasonable frame of time! Maybe 3 days are really much much too long. I was shooting in the dark, as I don't know you. So, start with an hour! YOU know what calls you, what feels joyful and achievable. Maybe it's just 5 minutes! There is no right or wrong, or "not good enough". YOU KNOW what is good enough.

But, in this time, that you promised to yourself- there is no cheating, no bailing out, no giving up. Do it as best as you can, and turn away from all inner voices that tell you otherwise, in the very moment they start to nag. Don't wrestle with them. Just tell them to f* off- as often as it is needed, and turn somewhere else. No arguing around with them! Set a timer. Maybe really start with 5 minutes! When you slip and don't make it, just dust yourself off and start new- maybe the next day. It's not the end of the world. Be nice to yourself! But- practice on. ...after enough practice (and again, you decide when you feel satisfied and so, it is enough), they'll learn that you mean it, and then you'll have peace. And you'll know, that YOU are the boss in your own life- not your doubts!

You deserve it to (day by day more) stop BS-ing yourself!

That's why I want to learn the basics with someone's help.

Of course that's fine, but *to me* and in this case, this sounds as Self-BS-technique. OTHERS DON'T KNOW as well as you do!

Only you can feel your inner guidance. And, really, you are since long far beyond "basics"! You KNOW this stuff! It's not rocket-science, by the way. It is 1 sentence: "GET HAPPY." and you might add: "IN ANY WAY THAT WORKS FOR YOU." And you even might add: "Or, at least, get relief."

Distance myself more from my thoughts and trust more in my own inner guidance.

That MUST be done together! You indeed must educate yourself to stop bailing out. It is the very same with a little dog or a spoilt child: Give it friendly, but totally stable borders, that are not discussable: When you start to feel bad, it doesn't go further. End of story. And your thoughts must obey that, or they get a time out. Do that, and ALL of you will be so much more happy!

Spoiler alert: You will NOT achieve that in the first day. Or the first 3 days. But maybe, after a year! ...That, at least, feels quite reasonable to *me*. But if you need 20 years- that is wonderful, also. This is no race, and nobody counts.

...Stop arguing for your limitations, dear heart (I know that this IS the problem). But at least, know that his works for some (as, for me). I was depressive and burned out- and I'm not any longer! And, it did not happen in 3 days!.The depression took my 3 years... but I got BETTER, all the time, and so, that was a wonderful adventure of self-empowerment. Babystep by Babystep.) ...Somewhen, you will know, it works for YOU, as well!

I'm currently looking into schema therapy, that should help in that aspect. Now I just need to believe in a miracle, that I get a 1 on 1 therapy that is paid by my insurance company despite reality looking like it's impossible at the moment.

Wonderful. And in the meantime, until this miracle fulfills, you start the work, already. Don't wait for "Santa Clause"! If he comes- great. But don't be dependent on him.
It would be BS-ing yourself!

I don't really know how to do that for 3 days, though. Maybe, if I could get high on drugs for 3 days straight, haha.
If I could stop the fears and negative thoughts, my life would already be much better and things would be much easier.. Not to be a Debby Downer. I'm just wondering how to do that when I'm dealing with a so called personality order. But I could try to just feel a bit better for 3 days.

THAT is exactly what I am talking about:
Stop trying to achieve miracles, or to jump over the house. Just take BABYSTEPS.

1 at a day! (and of course more IF IT FEELS GOOD.)
Maybe you want to decide that you do THAT for 3 days!?
Or maybe you want to really decide to throw out ALL negative thoughts for 3 days... There are probably people who are able to do so- I am not one of them. And, it is not necessary.

I asked you to find a reasonable frame that works for YOU! ...that joyfully calls YOU! -I didn't ask you to snap your fingers and become Jesus. (and they even nailed HIM up, in a bad moment he had). This is reallllly NOT about perfection!

So, again, if I would have been able to do that, I wouldn't write here with you I don't see much choice, when my mind that has been programmed falsely takes over and throws resistance at me every time I try to change something to the better.

See, you didn't GET programmed "falsley".
Your systems and your programms are absolutely working alright.

The only problem is that you are USING your system in an unhelpful way, yet.
You trained that over quite a long time- and so, you have a lot of momentum on that.
BUT you can train that out of you, in the exact same way that you trained it into you. It doesn't need a miracle. It doesn't need someone outside of you. You have it all, here and now.

Just find a simple, better feeling thought! Write it down, celebrate it. And tomorrow the next. And than the next.

IT WILL ADD UP.

That's why I think all these therapies exist, that teach you how to break the identification with your mind, how to deal with negative beliefs and how to gently build new ones. The only way to address this now is, what you already said: relax more, go more general, make peace with everything, feel better

exactly!
Find what calls you, in all of this. Not everything works for every one.

I'm looking more for something that's one on one. Or at least a very small group.

I really think this is beautiful. But, I also think that it will not work, when you don't do the work that noone can take off your shoulders. And you can train to do that, right here and now.

Thank you I love the picture
I'd like to get more and more into the mindset, that this is all a game.

Oh, I like that!

If I find people, having an opinion that angers me - it's just a game, they are playing. Let them play. The neighbors doing stuff that I don't like: It's a game. It makes me want to trust more in source and my own power. I want to know, this is a game. I can play and see what kind of results I'll get. But I have to be playful and remember, that this is all a game. Step by step

*I* think, you are so right about this! Certainly, our souls think like that, as well. Litmus-test: Does this thought FEEL good to you? If yes, that means: Source agrees!

[Paradise-on-Earth]

btw, your cheeky Avatar reminded me about the cat that "might miss the easy solution" in this little collage I had created some time ago...



I wish you ease!

[Leah Southey]

Hi, I'd love to get some new perspectives on this topic
Basically my mind seems to be stuck in believing, that I'm powerless and defenseless and that I need to avoid everything and everyone that could 'hurt' me. Which means I avoid every single human being (even seeing or hearing them. Writing is somewhat doable).

Eek! You sound like ME!

This belief has also spread on to most parts of my life and manifested unwanted stuff.

No kidding.

I am... ulp... the family scapegoat. Actually it was Big Sister who said that to me, and as soon as she said it I knew it was true. I've done a lot of research into this, and concluded that if the second child is the same sex as the first, it will be scapegoated. It's a hard row to hoe, as I know to my cost.

I also assume I could be one of these people that are more resistant than others, which Abraham spoke of. That would explain my angry reactions towards unwanted things since I was a little child and why it seems so challenging to change my thinking patterns.

It's also possible you've grown up with the notion that no matter what you do, no matter what happens, it'll be all your fault. In that case your anger is a reaction to unfairness, and perfectly understandable.

the examples were homeless alcoholics and schizophrenic people. I can relate to that and wonder how to get back that trust. I want to be my true self and I want to be with other people. I know there's a part of me that is the opposite of who I've become and it drives me crazy...

I know. I know that from personal experience. You might like to google "family scapegoat" and get some confirmation, but in my experience that doesn't help. Perhaps acceptance of what was, what created You, will bring some acceptance. I know what happened to me, and in my declining years I've learned to accept that this is the way Things are and I'll make the best of it.

The best? If you're the bedraggled family scapegoat there really isn't an upside unless it's knowing who you are, and why you're the way you are, and not suffering fools because you know what? It's damned hard to be the despised one of the family you were born into, and you don't have to apologise or explain to anyone.

I'd love to practice myself into happiness and being in alignment with my inner being, every day. But unfortunately that has always backfired.

For me, from a lifetime of being despised and rejected, I had to get to the point of being okay with that. My parents have both croaked (I'm up in years) and two of my siblings condescent to me (as ever the trouble-maker) while the third, the Golden Boy, declines to respond to the birthday cards I send each year.

I've been wishing for people like this, but I know my negative beliefs and fears of getting disappointed again, have been blocking this manifestation.

Believe me, I know that feeling!

What Abraham say makes so much sense to me. Like focusing on positive aspects, feel more ease, etc. But when I want to put this into practice, it's like running against a wall of resistance. And when I want to take tiny baby steps, my mind believes, that's not getting me anywhere.

Yeah, I know. The problem of having a negative self-perception is that we let strangers sh*t on us from a great height and consider it's our due.

'I need to get it right, make progress fast, be perfect' are thoughts that come up. Ha, it's so frustrating.

And indeed, there's no Ha in that, just frustration.

How can I get my mind to let that be enough? How can I make peace with everything?

If I knew that, believe me I would tell you.

Also how can I have hope, when my body has been physically ill and in pain 24/7 for years now? But I know that's just another manifestation of the 'I'm powerless belief'

You may be right. I don't know. It's possible that if you can love yourself Louise Hay-style, the solution will arise naturally.

So, if you have any ideas or maybe experiences, I'd appreciate your input

Experiences aplenty. Ideas, as in recommendations... zilch. Except "reach for a better-feeling thought", which I'm pretty sure came from Abe.

[Paradise-on-Earth]

Hi, I'd love to get some new perspectives on this topic
Basically my mind seems to be stuck in believing, that I'm powerless and defenseless and that I need to avoid everything and everyone that could 'hurt' me. Which means I avoid every single human being (even seeing or hearing them. Writing is somewhat doable).

Eek! You sound like ME!

This belief has also spread on to most parts of my life and manifested unwanted stuff.

No kidding.

I am... ulp... the family scapegoat. Actually it was Big Sister who said that to me, and as soon as she said it I knew it was true. I've done a lot of research into this, and concluded that if the second child is the same sex as the first, it will be scapegoated. It's a hard row to hoe, as I know to my cost.

I also assume I could be one of these people that are more resistant than others, which Abraham spoke of. That would explain my angry reactions towards unwanted things since I was a little child and why it seems so challenging to change my thinking patterns.

It's also possible you've grown up with the notion that no matter what you do, no matter what happens, it'll be all your fault. In that case your anger is a reaction to unfairness, and perfectly understandable.

the examples were homeless alcoholics and schizophrenic people. I can relate to that and wonder how to get back that trust. I want to be my true self and I want to be with other people. I know there's a part of me that is the opposite of who I've become and it drives me crazy...

I know. I know that from personal experience. You might like to google "family scapegoat" and get some confirmation, but in my experience that doesn't help. Perhaps acceptance of what was, what created You, will bring some acceptance. I know what happened to me, and in my declining years I've learned to accept that this is the way Things are and I'll make the best of it.

The best? If you're the bedraggled family scapegoat there really isn't an upside unless it's knowing who you are, and why you're the way you are, and not suffering fools because you know what? It's damned hard to be the despised one of the family you were born into, and you don't have to apologise or explain to anyone.

I'd love to practice myself into happiness and being in alignment with my inner being, every day. But unfortunately that has always backfired.

For me, from a lifetime of being despised and rejected, I had to get to the point of being okay with that. My parents have both croaked (I'm up in years) and two of my siblings condescent to me (as ever the trouble-maker) while the third, the Golden Boy, declines to respond to the birthday cards I send each year.

I've been wishing for people like this, but I know my negative beliefs and fears of getting disappointed again, have been blocking this manifestation.

Believe me, I know that feeling!

What Abraham say makes so much sense to me. Like focusing on positive aspects, feel more ease, etc. But when I want to put this into practice, it's like running against a wall of resistance. And when I want to take tiny baby steps, my mind believes, that's not getting me anywhere.

Yeah, I know. The problem of having a negative self-perception is that we let strangers sh*t on us from a great height and consider it's our due.

'I need to get it right, make progress fast, be perfect' are thoughts that come up. Ha, it's so frustrating.

And indeed, there's no Ha in that, just frustration.

How can I get my mind to let that be enough? How can I make peace with everything?

If I knew that, believe me I would tell you.

Also how can I have hope, when my body has been physically ill and in pain 24/7 for years now? But I know that's just another manifestation of the 'I'm powerless belief'

You may be right. I don't know. It's possible that if you can love yourself Louise Hay-style, the solution will arise naturally.

So, if you have any ideas or maybe experiences, I'd appreciate your input

Experiences aplenty. Ideas, as in recommendations... zilch. Except "reach for a better-feeling thought", which I'm pretty sure came from Abe.

What do you want?
(very honest question!)