My Diary

[abrahammer117]

Day 87: posting here. Main guideline, focus on what's wanted with scant attention to unwanted
Day 8: Morning routine, jog or gym / cold shower / breakfast / Ab Hicks meditation
5 Day Challenge. Day 3: Morning dopamine fasting until 10.00. Maximum 3 work email checks a day. No random internet at all.

Focusing on wanted side of things...
I want to enjoy my work. I want to feel proud of my work. I want to feel competent. I want to expect plenty of money to come in.
I want to expect good things to evolve with me and my business.
I want to acknowledge that I am still very much on the path of gradually releasing more and more resistance.
I want to see the positive aspects of everything more.

In other news, I had a really good time reading Hicks this morning for about 20 mins. I think I'll be reading more from now on.
I've noticed that that there is kind of a minimum effective dose when reading Hicks, after a while I'll feel emotional relief from reading it but then it's good not to push it too much further. Kinda like Hicks advice on not meditating more than 15-20 mins. I might keep that in mind.

Really feeling the benefits of no random internet use at all for two days now. When's Man Utd playing next? Don't know!
What's the latest in Ukraine? Don't know!

I did the Hicks meditation much later in the morning today and I think it really helped as my mind has already chilled out a bit and I felt more receptive.
Might switch things up there

[abrahammer117]

Day 88: posting here. Main guideline, focus on what's wanted with scant attention to unwanted
Day 9: Morning routine, jog or gym / cold shower / breakfast / Ab Hicks meditation
5 Day Challenge. Day 4: Morning dopamine fasting until 10.00. Maximum 3 work email checks a day. No random internet at all.

Yesterday morning was really nice, very relaxed by end of it. When I got into work I picked up alot of the tension that was still active about work and did really well allowing myself a couple of hours just let myself chill. I found writing lists of downstream bullet points really effective, just whatever came into my head at all that was downstream. The rest of the day went really well. I have not stuck to the 'check email 3 times a day max' at all and do end up quite scatty by the end of the day... which makes my evening a lot less enjoyable.

Increasing number of good signs with the business and things going well.
I started keeping track of my weight and waist line every day since beginning of March. I've now recomped (fat loss + lean mass gain) 6lbs which I'm really happy with. The Slow Carb diet really helping with that and I feel better physically from it.

Overall, average mood still improving - still on that wagon.

When I speed up at work - it's easy to confuse that with 'having fun' but when I check my emotions it's not a happy emotion, there's just a steady stream of 'hits'. Whether it's from lots of scatty activity or fast thinking. When I get in that place it's tricky to want to slow down - firstly it feels like slowing down would mean getting less done (not true) and slowing down means feeling whatever negative emotion is there. To be fair, I think the fear of not getting things done is the biggest thing there! 15-20 min writing breaks might be good today, they work so well (at the moment lol)

[abrahammer117]

Day 89: posting here. Main guideline, focus on what's wanted with scant attention to unwanted
5 Day Challenge. Day 5: Morning dopamine fasting until 10.00. No random internet at all.
Day 1: Max 2 email checks at work. I'd have a much happier day with just 2 checks.
Day 1: Read Hicks 15 mins a day
Reminder: Regarding my partner , the thought 'I'm her friend' feels relieving

After yesterdays morning I wanted to prioritise sitting in silence this morning - I can tell I'm a bit behind on brain rest. Sat for 2.5 hours and it went by so so quick.

I've done really well this week with avoiding random internet - in fact it's been easy en enjoyable and I'm feeling no pull no to go on YouTube or anything. In fact the idea just feels bad which is a good sign. In work though I keep falling for impulsive email checking - it's like a gambling addiction , pulling that slot machine lever.
I get a little 'hit' each time I check, so if I check regularly it gives the illusion of having a good time, but really it feels bad emotionally. And the other side is once that starts, it actually feels scary to stop as it feels vulnerable somehow. Even right now I can feel the urge to check it

[abrahammer117]

Day 90: posting here. Main guideline, focus on what's wanted with scant attention to unwanted
Day 2: Max 2 email checks at work. I'd have a much happier day with just 2 checks.
Day 2: Read Hicks 15 mins a day
Reminder: "The abundance I seek, IS coming" feels relieving
Reminder: Step 4 is no longer getting mad at yourself for resistance
Reminder: A quiet mind is enough

Some good signs of improving vibration - things that I have been wondering about for ages have fallen into place...
I've been trying to get good at art photography / scanning and Giclee printing for a couple of years. In the last few weeks, following my good feelings , so much has fallen into place in my learning that I can do a really good job easily now - which opens up another avenue of abundance.

I can still feel my average vibe improving. Little flashes of well-being that feel new here and there and I'm much less angry at myself... which makes me realise how much I've been angry at myself! Reminds for of Ab Hicks step 4 - you stop getting mad at yourself for negative emotion

[abrahammer117]

Day 91: posting here. Main guideline, focus on what's wanted with scant attention to unwanted
Day 3: Max 2 email checks at work. I'd have a much happier day with just 2 checks.
Day 3: Read Hicks 15 mins a day
Reminder: "The abundance I seek, IS coming" feels relieving
Reminder: Step 4 is no longer getting mad at yourself for resistance
Reminder: A quiet mind is enough

Very quick post... as I'm hungover...... that'll do

[abrahammer117]

Day 92: posting here. Main guideline, focus on what's wanted with scant attention to unwanted
Day1: Gym after work. 15 minute meditation in evening. ( big benefits include positive anticipation of this throughout working day)
Reminder: Step 3 is general, really general. Whenever I feel good for any reason at all, all subjects in my life benefit.
Reminder: Relaxation and ease is what allows abundance

I'd like my average mood to keep creeping up. I'd like fun and eagerness and appreciation to be increasingly dominant in vibe.
The longer I carry on staying aware of this the more I realise how much my experience is supporting everything Ab Hicks says - particularly that there is nothing more important to your life than how my current thoughts feel to me.

I'm getting kind and kinder to myself about the ups and downs, knowing that kindness is needed to release the down.

...

at work now and just feel like doing some pre-paving about daily living in a way to help my average vibe to creep up.
Things that could be amazing:
1) 15 minute simple breathing meditation every day after work on meditation stool.
2) Do anything at all at the gym straight after work
3) Before sleep - the '5 minute journal'

that makes sense, I went to looking at my evenings. My mornings are good but I've quite a habit of falling into autopilot when I get home.
Partly because living with my girlfriend triggers my childhood patterns of living with people.
Hmm I like this. My working day will feel more fun if I'm anticipating doing something straight after and it will stop that autopilot lull at the start of my evening.
In the '5 minute journal' you look for 3 reasons why you're proud of yourself that day. I've that a really effective nudge into positive emotion and it takes very little time before sleep.

A fun thing to point out here is the better I feel the more I realise that this is all about little nudges on a regular basis that build up over time.
There's can't be any big jumps

[abrahammer117]

Day 93: posting here. Main guideline, focus on what's wanted with scant attention to unwanted
Day2: Gym after work. 15 minute meditation in evening. ( big benefits include positive anticipation of this throughout working day)
Reminder a) I am doing really well
Reminder b) "stop your impossible attempt at control, no longer try to make things happen, stop beating up on yourself and stop measuring your progress. And when
you notice yourself doing any of that, reminder yourself you are taking care of everything that needs to be taken care of in your daily tuning sessions'
Reminder c) 30mins on the exercise bike in the morning is amazing


so! Average mood still creeping up. Yesterday I had the feeling alot that I really wanted to do half an hour on the exercise bike this morning (Level 1 fat burning programme). I did it listening to a podcast and it was a little tough even at level 1. I'm blown away by how differently I feel though now I'm back in the flat afterwards - significantly more alert, present and feel some vigor to do things. I feel like I've crossed a tipping point from feeling a little self-critical to feeling a little good about myself and optimistic.

Every day I write I could emphasise this point: This came about through always leaning in the direction of thoughts that feel a little easier - and every now and again inspiration comes and it works out really well.

Oh heck.... I've not said this all year but TODAY feels like a tipping point day. Like it's the first time I've tipped over into genuinely feeling hopeful / optimistic.
I love Hicks emotional scale, that you feel positive emotion whenever you move up the scale - but you can still be in the lower half even though you're feeling positive emotion (relief) from moving up it. It talks about this in 'getting into the vortex', that there's progress progress progress then the tipping point.

[spiritualcookie]

Oh heck.... I've not said this all year but TODAY feels like a tipping point day.

[abrahammer117]

Day 94: posting here. Main guideline, focus on what's wanted with scant attention to unwanted
Day3: Gym after work. 15 minute meditation in evening. ( big benefits include positive anticipation of this throughout working day)
Day 1: No random internet all day. Maximum 2 email checks all day

Reminder a) I am doing really well. This thought always feels relieving and so is in alignment with what I want
Reminder b) "stop your impossible attempt at control, no longer try to make things happen, stop beating up on yourself and stop measuring your progress. And when you notice yourself doing any of that, remind yourself you are taking care of everything that needs to be taken care of in your daily tuning sessions'

Focusing on wanted : I'd love '2 email checks' to be my main pre-paving for today (plus no random internet)

It's crazy how much of a difference it makes and it's so tempting to fall into random email checking.
In terms of Ab Hicks, I can feel the impulses to check aren't coming from a direction of ease or relaxation etc. they're coming emotionally from a place ... of wanting to feel like I'm making things happen.

For the first time in ages I'm feeling excited about losing weight - no doubt in my mind at all that I can do it and that it will be fun!
The fact that I feel excited about ANYTHING is a great sign. I've always loved Ab Hicks analogy of the pile of sticks, that while you're feeling good about one stick - all the other sticks start benefiting and moving in the right direction. So today as I am at work, if I'm feeling excited about exercise and losing weight all day - this will be great for my finances.

[abrahammer117]

Oh heck.... I've not said this all year but TODAY feels like a tipping point day.