EACH OF US IS RESPONSIBLE FOR PLEASING OURSELVES
And when you as an individual, discover that no one else is here to please you,
but that they are here to help you in your expansion
and that it's your job, and your job alone,
to line up with the expanded version of you,
then you begin to say to all others,
"Friend, lover, child of mine,
parent of mine, stranger of mine,
I hold you not responsible for my joy,
but thanks for the expansion.
Joy is my job.
Alignment is my job.
Not your job to line up with my Inner Being.
My job to line up with my Inner Being.
Your job to line up with yours.
~ Abraham-Hicks
-
PLEASING OTHERS IS A WAY WE TRY TO GET OTHERS TO LOVE US
Almost no-one knows how to love themselves
because you're running around trying to find
other people to love you.
Standing on your head in all kinds of different ways.
"If I'm like this do you like me?
If I give you this will you like me?"
So you lose track of who you are because the more you're looking to others to love you,
the more you're not in sync with who you are.
- Abraham
-
PLEASING OTHERS IS NOT YOUR JOB - FOR ANY OF YOU
Don't ask anybody else to GET YOU.
It's not their job to get you.
It's not their job to support you.
It's not their job to understand you.
That's the job of your inner being.
And your inner being is doing it 24/7, 365 days a year, non-stop.
-
DON'T RELY ON OTHER PEOPLE LIKING YOU IN ORDER FOR YOU TO FEEL GOOD:
Mostly you want other people to get you.
You're wanting to be understood by them.
Which means you are trying to perform in ways that will please them.
But that's a lot of trouble, have you noticed?
It's so much more joyful and powerful
and possible
for you to find alignment with your Source
and therefore all that you have so far asked for,
and in the asbence of resistance,
when your point of attraction is so powerful,
to then let in the results that you're looking for.
-
Pleasing others happens when you seek to feel good through conditional external influences rather than from within
"As you do not feel the strength of the guidance that absolutely would come forth from within you...
and as you look for guidance from others,
you become one who seeks approval.
As you gain a sense of satisfaction from pleasing another with your thought, or word, or action, you try to please another and another."
- Abraham
Quotes on Pleasing Others
-
spiritualcookie
- Posts: 2286
- Joined: Sat Dec 02, 2023 10:32 pm
Re: Quotes on Pleasing Others
Trying hard to make others happy can cause lack of alignment
If your behavior is influenced by your desire to keep another person happy,
you will lose your Connection to your Source.
And it is not possible for you to be happy unless you are in alignment with your Source.
Without that alignment, you have nothing to offer another. (...)
Rather than attempting the impossible task of trying to behave in ways that please others,
show them the ease of finding YOUR consistent alignment.
You will always find happiness inside your Vortex.
And the happiness that they are seeking is inside their Vortex.
Excerpted from Getting into the Vortex Guided Meditation CD and User Guide
-
It is impossible to please everyone
(Applicable Keywords: Woke-ism, Political Correctness, Being Famous / Fame, Gaining approval / popularity / followers / subscribers on social media or in Politics)
If there is only one other from whom you seek approval,
you may be able to stand on your head in enough different ways to keep up with their changing demands.
But if there are two, or perhaps a world full of others,
all wanting you to think and speak and act as they would have you,
then you have great trouble,
for there are simply too many standards of control.
Too many diverse measures of justice and of right and wrong.
Too many critics demanding specific action from you.
- Abraham Hicks
-
Seeking to Please Others Happens when you Want their Guidance because you Don't Trust Yourself
One who does not trust self, looks to others for approval,
and that in and of itself works against the very thing that he is wanting,
which is to trust himself.
Only by seeing examples of others who DO appreciate and approve of and like themselves,
can anyone be inspired to self-appreciation.
Unfortunately, there are few such examples around.
You would recognize another who truly appreciates himself by noting these characteristics:
- He is usually happy
- Not offering insincere smiles but the warm and genuine smile that comes from the eye as well as from his mouth.
- He is one who appreciates you, seeing things in you that you would like to see in you, pointing out to you things that you, perhaps have never seen about yourself.
- AH
-
How much of your behavior is pointed towards
pleasing and soothing YOURSELF
in relationship to serving others?
That's where the balance gets wonky for most of you.
Most of you are so busy serving others
that you're not taking that time for your own alignment.
- Abraham
If your behavior is influenced by your desire to keep another person happy,
you will lose your Connection to your Source.
And it is not possible for you to be happy unless you are in alignment with your Source.
Without that alignment, you have nothing to offer another. (...)
Rather than attempting the impossible task of trying to behave in ways that please others,
show them the ease of finding YOUR consistent alignment.
You will always find happiness inside your Vortex.
And the happiness that they are seeking is inside their Vortex.
Excerpted from Getting into the Vortex Guided Meditation CD and User Guide
-
It is impossible to please everyone
(Applicable Keywords: Woke-ism, Political Correctness, Being Famous / Fame, Gaining approval / popularity / followers / subscribers on social media or in Politics)
If there is only one other from whom you seek approval,
you may be able to stand on your head in enough different ways to keep up with their changing demands.
But if there are two, or perhaps a world full of others,
all wanting you to think and speak and act as they would have you,
then you have great trouble,
for there are simply too many standards of control.
Too many diverse measures of justice and of right and wrong.
Too many critics demanding specific action from you.
- Abraham Hicks
-
Seeking to Please Others Happens when you Want their Guidance because you Don't Trust Yourself
One who does not trust self, looks to others for approval,
and that in and of itself works against the very thing that he is wanting,
which is to trust himself.
Only by seeing examples of others who DO appreciate and approve of and like themselves,
can anyone be inspired to self-appreciation.
Unfortunately, there are few such examples around.
You would recognize another who truly appreciates himself by noting these characteristics:
- He is usually happy
- Not offering insincere smiles but the warm and genuine smile that comes from the eye as well as from his mouth.
- He is one who appreciates you, seeing things in you that you would like to see in you, pointing out to you things that you, perhaps have never seen about yourself.
- AH
-
How much of your behavior is pointed towards
pleasing and soothing YOURSELF
in relationship to serving others?
That's where the balance gets wonky for most of you.
Most of you are so busy serving others
that you're not taking that time for your own alignment.
- Abraham
-
Paradise-on-Earth
- Plus Member
- Posts: 3888
- Joined: Sun Dec 17, 2023 9:19 am
Re: Quotes on Pleasing Others
Any time you are wanting to accomplish something -because you have given birth to
a sincere desire, and now your chronic though, your habit of thought matches it, IT MUST BE, IT IS LAW!
But you will mess up your vibration any single time when you factor in other
people’s response to your desire. Because you can’t control their response,
and when you try, you don’t match your own vibration!
You can’t control their response, and if you care about what their response is,
you hold yourself in vibrational discord to your desire.
Excerpted from Toronto Workshop 9/20/2008
a sincere desire, and now your chronic though, your habit of thought matches it, IT MUST BE, IT IS LAW!
But you will mess up your vibration any single time when you factor in other
people’s response to your desire. Because you can’t control their response,
and when you try, you don’t match your own vibration!
You can’t control their response, and if you care about what their response is,
you hold yourself in vibrational discord to your desire.
Excerpted from Toronto Workshop 9/20/2008
-
Paradise-on-Earth
- Plus Member
- Posts: 3888
- Joined: Sun Dec 17, 2023 9:19 am
Re: Quotes on Pleasing Others
When people use their partners desires to discourage themselves...
As we are interacting with humans, sometimes we meet someone- in fact almost all humans that we meet, your vibrational gap seems to be continually influenced by what other people are doing. Not because they have power in your experience, but because you've got your nose in their business! So, two people- let's say, two people who want... (stay with us: we're really answering your question! It just seems a bit off the way!) ...two people, who -let's say they're living together, who seem to want two different things.
If this one would focus upon what he wants, and become a vibrational match to it, the universe must deliver it to him, in the fullest sense of the word. And if the other wants what they want, -even though it's different from what the other wants!- and if this one focuses upon it completely, then the universe must deliver it!
And so, both
-even when they're living together,
-even when they're cooperating together,
-even when they're working together,
each of them can receive exactly what they want. Provided, each of them focuses upon exactly what they want!
But what happens with most humans is: This one wants what they want, but notices what that one wants. So, this one's vibration isn't in alignment with what they want! And this one knows what they want, but notices what that one wants- so this one's vibration isn't in alignment with what they want.
So, now neither one of them are a match to what they want.
Neither one of them are getting what they want- and they're both blaming each other for it.
Abraham Hicks
As we are interacting with humans, sometimes we meet someone- in fact almost all humans that we meet, your vibrational gap seems to be continually influenced by what other people are doing. Not because they have power in your experience, but because you've got your nose in their business! So, two people- let's say, two people who want... (stay with us: we're really answering your question! It just seems a bit off the way!) ...two people, who -let's say they're living together, who seem to want two different things.
If this one would focus upon what he wants, and become a vibrational match to it, the universe must deliver it to him, in the fullest sense of the word. And if the other wants what they want, -even though it's different from what the other wants!- and if this one focuses upon it completely, then the universe must deliver it!
And so, both
-even when they're living together,
-even when they're cooperating together,
-even when they're working together,
each of them can receive exactly what they want. Provided, each of them focuses upon exactly what they want!
But what happens with most humans is: This one wants what they want, but notices what that one wants. So, this one's vibration isn't in alignment with what they want! And this one knows what they want, but notices what that one wants- so this one's vibration isn't in alignment with what they want.
So, now neither one of them are a match to what they want.
Neither one of them are getting what they want- and they're both blaming each other for it.
Abraham Hicks
-
spiritualcookie
- Posts: 2286
- Joined: Sat Dec 02, 2023 10:32 pm
Re: Quotes on Pleasing Others
Pleasing everyone is impossible
In a society that wants you to conform, those of you who know and recognize your freedom, from inner perspective, squirm and resist and have great difficulty with that - until finally you acknowledge that you are free. And usually you end up saying, "I just don't care."
You finally reach the point where you are not trying so hard to please the others because you are finally wise enough to discover you can't please them no matter how hard you try. There are too many of them. There are too many different intentions. Too many different beliefs.
So finally you withdraw from that arena where you cannot win, and you step back into the arena of clarity where you always win.
The arena of identifying what YOU are wanting and then, in a disciplined manner, utilizing your discipline to think about what you are wanting.
- Abraham
-
Paradise-on-Earth
- Plus Member
- Posts: 3888
- Joined: Sun Dec 17, 2023 9:19 am
Re: Quotes on Pleasing Others
What is up with Homosexuality?
(Most gay people come as teachers of unconditional Love!)
HS:
I only have 84,000 questions...
Abe:
Well we only have one answer, so give us your best. (laughter)
HS:
Okay great. Um, I've heard you speak often about sexuality, and one of my... one of several questions is: Where do gay relationships, gay love, gay sex fit into broader perspective with the whole scheme of things?
Abe:
Well, that subject fits in just like every other subject- that you are the creator of your reality.
In other words, we're going to come fully around all of this, but we we want to say -as a basis of this-, that humans, through time, in their not-conscious alignment with who they are, are often looking for someone to establish a set of rules that they can follow, in their desire to be righteous or good.
And that set of rules does not exist from a non-physical perspective!
In other words, there is not a set of rules.
You have not been sent here into this physical environment, to identify the rules and to keep them. And it's good for you that that isn't the case, because you have a real scrambled set of rules going on on your planet right now! In fact, you're killing each other in record numbers today, over your arguing about who's got the right set of rules!
-When what you came forth understanding is, that you are pure positive energy.
-And you came forth into this physical environment, wanting the variety to cause you to give birth to desires!
-And you knew that your joy was only dependent upon your coming into alignment.
You knew, that your fulfilling of your reason for being was only dependent upon you, coming into alignment with who you really are! So, you may have noticed that there are many beings coming forth- in the last generation or two, and even more in these powerful days- of energies, coming forth from Source, who are in a stronger way determined to be unconformable. Because, so much of the world says: "I see that condition and it makes me feel pretty good. So I would vote for a lot more of that! And I see that condition, and I don't like the way I feel- so I would not vote for that. So we need to change all of these conditions, to be what make me feel good, so that I can feel better." -A very conditional love, that is impossible!
Unconditional love says:
"I see conditions that I prefer. And conditions that I don't prefer.
And my feeling of love, my feeling of alignment, my alignment itself, is dependent only upon the direction of my thoughts.
I do not need to control conditions, in order to come into alignment!"
But of course everyone wants to feel better, don't they? So, there are huge numbers of people on the planet today, who even though many of them are speaking unconditional love, they don't understand it at all. Because they're still trying to change this condition and this condition- so that they can have a better feeling response to it you know?
You've really reached the place of being an allower, when you're able to allow those who aren't allowing you.
So there are people coming forth, energies coming forth into human form, in record numbers, who come with this determination to be unconformable. Meaning, that -no matter how much you need this condition to change so that you can feel better- this is not a condition that's going to change, so that you can feel better!
"So, if you're going to feel better, you're going to have to change the way you are looking at things.
Because I'm not going to be the reason that you feel better!"
So, children are coming forth... gay children are coming forth, autistic children are coming forth, with all kinds of what humans want to call maladies, that we call determination to be secure in their teaching of unconditional love.
A man said to us one day, years ago: "Abraham, why why would I come forth intending to be gay? Why would I bring all of this grief to myself? My mother hates me. My father hates me. I have a hard time!" -and we said: "How do you feel about your mother?" and he said: "I hate her, too. I hate her, because she hates me." And we said: "So, neither one of you are coming into alignment with who you are! And you're using each other as your excuse, why not to come into alignment.
When what you've come forth to teach is: Alignment, anyway.
What you've come forth to teach is: "I can align with the source within me, regardless of what those outside of me are reflecting back to me. And this is the most significant thing about this! Almost everyone, even those who've been listening to us for a while, cannot separate how they feel about things from how other people feel about things.
So, most people... in other words, almost the first thing you do with your children is: You teach them patterns of behavior, that make your life better or that you think will make them have an easier time in the society in which they will live. And as you convince your children, that they should do what you want them to do: "you should do what makes them feel better", rather than what closes their gap for them!
In early ages you teach them to listen outside of themselves.
That's why we have a room full of people in every city that we visit, who are accustomed to listening more to what's coming from another person... in other words, approval is so meaningful to you, when it comes from other people. And disapproval is so meaningful to you, when it comes from other people.
And we want that disapproval or approval, that comes from other people- even if it's your mother!- to not matter to you as much as the way you feel!
And that's what we said to this man, "that's what you've come forth to teach!"
You've come forth to teach. Because when you say to your child: "You need to do such and such, so that I will feel better"- then you set them up to listen to another and another and another. Until before long, most everybody is more interested in what everybody else thinks! And then they've lost track of their ability to quantify their journey.
We're visiting with a woman one day who had pain in her body and she said: "Abraham, how can I think positive thoughts when my body hurts so much? And we said: "we know what you're living is what it is. But there's a difference between having pain in your body, and feeling fear- and having pain in your body and feeling hope.
And the difference between fear and hope is the vibrational difference between recovery or not.
In other words, we were trying to teach her how to quantify the journey between sickness and wellness. How to feel her way, you see, where most people aren't encouraging anybody to feel their way into vibrational alignment, in order to have a better life! They're trying to teach them, they're trying to motivate them to respond to this rule, and to respond to this law, and respond to this disapproval or this approval.
So it is rampant in this civilization today- it is rampant almost nobody is listening to their own guidance!
Almost nobody is deliberately closing their gap.
Almost everybody cares what somebody else says or thinks, about what they're doing!
And so many people are coming forth, saying "well, try this one on, because this is an orientation that was set forth, before I came forth into this physical experience! And I can't change it, even if you want me to", you see. And so, there are all kinds of ornery little buggers being born- and we don't mean that from our point of view. We mean:
Pioneers of deliberate, powerful creation.
Teachers to the core of their being!
But they're being greeted by those who are immediately slapping labels on them. Like, oh there are so many. Like nonconformist with lots of different labels... "uncontrollable". Uh, "you have this disorder and this disorder and this disorder and this disorder!" -and we say:
Yay for the disorders! All of these disorders coming forth! The non-conformist coming forth, to teach unconditional love!
You see... and so, it is so delightful when you are able to assist someone. It's a great gift you give to someone, when you say:
"Well this is what is. And I'm not going to change it, so that you can feel better! This is what is."
And it's a hard thing to do, because you want them to be happy. So, when Kate wants to come to see Esther, and Esther really wants Kate to come- but Esther's got a big long list of things that she needs to do. So, Esther says "be better if we don't do it today!" and Esther hears the disappointment in Kate's voice. It's hard for Esther not to change something, to make Kate feel better. Because Esther would run over herself with the bus, if she thought it would make Kate feel better. But we want Esther to let Kate work it out on her own! And, she would, every time. She'd be upset for a minute, but it's her nature to feel good. So she wouldn't be upset for very long!
But this is a bigger issue: You can't change gayness to please another, right? And so, what a gift of unconditional love you bring with that. You say:
"Here I am. Take it or leave it, it's up to you. Be unhappy with me as I be, or be happy with me as I be. But I be as I be! This is my gift to you, you see!"
From the youtube-clip "ABRAHAM HICKS | WHY SOME CHOOSE THE TOUGH LIFE OF BEING BORN HOMOSEXUAL"
(Most gay people come as teachers of unconditional Love!)
HS:
I only have 84,000 questions...
Abe:
Well we only have one answer, so give us your best. (laughter)
HS:
Okay great. Um, I've heard you speak often about sexuality, and one of my... one of several questions is: Where do gay relationships, gay love, gay sex fit into broader perspective with the whole scheme of things?
Abe:
Well, that subject fits in just like every other subject- that you are the creator of your reality.
In other words, we're going to come fully around all of this, but we we want to say -as a basis of this-, that humans, through time, in their not-conscious alignment with who they are, are often looking for someone to establish a set of rules that they can follow, in their desire to be righteous or good.
And that set of rules does not exist from a non-physical perspective!
In other words, there is not a set of rules.
You have not been sent here into this physical environment, to identify the rules and to keep them. And it's good for you that that isn't the case, because you have a real scrambled set of rules going on on your planet right now! In fact, you're killing each other in record numbers today, over your arguing about who's got the right set of rules!
-When what you came forth understanding is, that you are pure positive energy.
-And you came forth into this physical environment, wanting the variety to cause you to give birth to desires!
-And you knew that your joy was only dependent upon your coming into alignment.
You knew, that your fulfilling of your reason for being was only dependent upon you, coming into alignment with who you really are! So, you may have noticed that there are many beings coming forth- in the last generation or two, and even more in these powerful days- of energies, coming forth from Source, who are in a stronger way determined to be unconformable. Because, so much of the world says: "I see that condition and it makes me feel pretty good. So I would vote for a lot more of that! And I see that condition, and I don't like the way I feel- so I would not vote for that. So we need to change all of these conditions, to be what make me feel good, so that I can feel better." -A very conditional love, that is impossible!
Unconditional love says:
"I see conditions that I prefer. And conditions that I don't prefer.
And my feeling of love, my feeling of alignment, my alignment itself, is dependent only upon the direction of my thoughts.
I do not need to control conditions, in order to come into alignment!"
But of course everyone wants to feel better, don't they? So, there are huge numbers of people on the planet today, who even though many of them are speaking unconditional love, they don't understand it at all. Because they're still trying to change this condition and this condition- so that they can have a better feeling response to it you know?
You've really reached the place of being an allower, when you're able to allow those who aren't allowing you.
So there are people coming forth, energies coming forth into human form, in record numbers, who come with this determination to be unconformable. Meaning, that -no matter how much you need this condition to change so that you can feel better- this is not a condition that's going to change, so that you can feel better!
"So, if you're going to feel better, you're going to have to change the way you are looking at things.
Because I'm not going to be the reason that you feel better!"
So, children are coming forth... gay children are coming forth, autistic children are coming forth, with all kinds of what humans want to call maladies, that we call determination to be secure in their teaching of unconditional love.
A man said to us one day, years ago: "Abraham, why why would I come forth intending to be gay? Why would I bring all of this grief to myself? My mother hates me. My father hates me. I have a hard time!" -and we said: "How do you feel about your mother?" and he said: "I hate her, too. I hate her, because she hates me." And we said: "So, neither one of you are coming into alignment with who you are! And you're using each other as your excuse, why not to come into alignment.
When what you've come forth to teach is: Alignment, anyway.
What you've come forth to teach is: "I can align with the source within me, regardless of what those outside of me are reflecting back to me. And this is the most significant thing about this! Almost everyone, even those who've been listening to us for a while, cannot separate how they feel about things from how other people feel about things.
So, most people... in other words, almost the first thing you do with your children is: You teach them patterns of behavior, that make your life better or that you think will make them have an easier time in the society in which they will live. And as you convince your children, that they should do what you want them to do: "you should do what makes them feel better", rather than what closes their gap for them!
In early ages you teach them to listen outside of themselves.
That's why we have a room full of people in every city that we visit, who are accustomed to listening more to what's coming from another person... in other words, approval is so meaningful to you, when it comes from other people. And disapproval is so meaningful to you, when it comes from other people.
And we want that disapproval or approval, that comes from other people- even if it's your mother!- to not matter to you as much as the way you feel!
And that's what we said to this man, "that's what you've come forth to teach!"
You've come forth to teach. Because when you say to your child: "You need to do such and such, so that I will feel better"- then you set them up to listen to another and another and another. Until before long, most everybody is more interested in what everybody else thinks! And then they've lost track of their ability to quantify their journey.
We're visiting with a woman one day who had pain in her body and she said: "Abraham, how can I think positive thoughts when my body hurts so much? And we said: "we know what you're living is what it is. But there's a difference between having pain in your body, and feeling fear- and having pain in your body and feeling hope.
And the difference between fear and hope is the vibrational difference between recovery or not.
In other words, we were trying to teach her how to quantify the journey between sickness and wellness. How to feel her way, you see, where most people aren't encouraging anybody to feel their way into vibrational alignment, in order to have a better life! They're trying to teach them, they're trying to motivate them to respond to this rule, and to respond to this law, and respond to this disapproval or this approval.
So it is rampant in this civilization today- it is rampant almost nobody is listening to their own guidance!
Almost nobody is deliberately closing their gap.
Almost everybody cares what somebody else says or thinks, about what they're doing!
And so many people are coming forth, saying "well, try this one on, because this is an orientation that was set forth, before I came forth into this physical experience! And I can't change it, even if you want me to", you see. And so, there are all kinds of ornery little buggers being born- and we don't mean that from our point of view. We mean:
Pioneers of deliberate, powerful creation.
Teachers to the core of their being!
But they're being greeted by those who are immediately slapping labels on them. Like, oh there are so many. Like nonconformist with lots of different labels... "uncontrollable". Uh, "you have this disorder and this disorder and this disorder and this disorder!" -and we say:
Yay for the disorders! All of these disorders coming forth! The non-conformist coming forth, to teach unconditional love!
You see... and so, it is so delightful when you are able to assist someone. It's a great gift you give to someone, when you say:
"Well this is what is. And I'm not going to change it, so that you can feel better! This is what is."
And it's a hard thing to do, because you want them to be happy. So, when Kate wants to come to see Esther, and Esther really wants Kate to come- but Esther's got a big long list of things that she needs to do. So, Esther says "be better if we don't do it today!" and Esther hears the disappointment in Kate's voice. It's hard for Esther not to change something, to make Kate feel better. Because Esther would run over herself with the bus, if she thought it would make Kate feel better. But we want Esther to let Kate work it out on her own! And, she would, every time. She'd be upset for a minute, but it's her nature to feel good. So she wouldn't be upset for very long!
But this is a bigger issue: You can't change gayness to please another, right? And so, what a gift of unconditional love you bring with that. You say:
"Here I am. Take it or leave it, it's up to you. Be unhappy with me as I be, or be happy with me as I be. But I be as I be! This is my gift to you, you see!"
From the youtube-clip "ABRAHAM HICKS | WHY SOME CHOOSE THE TOUGH LIFE OF BEING BORN HOMOSEXUAL"
-
Paradise-on-Earth
- Plus Member
- Posts: 3888
- Joined: Sun Dec 17, 2023 9:19 am
Re: Quotes on Pleasing Others
Why you shouldn't say "Yes" as long as you feel like "No".
You are not "Ego-driven" when you follow what your Alignment calls you to (aka, what feels better)!
HS:
I have a ex-business partner that is... I just haven't been feeling right about things. I've tried to...
Abe:
Ex, for a reason, huh?
HS:
Yeah. And we've tried different things and I've decided, you know, what for this year I just need to let it go. Just let it be away from me, for a little while. And recently, he's wanted to go on a trip with some of my friends, and I was asked the question of whether or not I was okay with that. And my initial thought or feeling was "no". But I give myself a hard time with saying no! Because who I want to be is the person who is not ego driven. And would accept...
Abe:
We don't want you to be ego driven. We want you to be Alignment-called!
There's a difference between being driven, and being inspired.
And so, when you realize that you've put it all in your vortex. And now your vortex is calling you to it- when you think about what you're inclined to say "yes" to, and what you're inclined to say "no" to, don't let that be a bad thing, to not feel like you want to say "yes" to something! It isn't!
That's like saying: "I'm going to get on the highway. And even though there are these lines that represent lanes... I don't want to be guided by that! So I'm going to drive all around."
And we say, that's fine- except nobody else really understands that. And it's going to make a lot of trouble in your world!
So sometimes it's helpful to think about what you're saying yes to. Because every subject is really two subjects: Wanted and unwanted. And so you can softly just say: "What I really want is...". When the impulse to say "no" comes up: "No. I don't really want to do that."
If you justify all the reasons you don't want to do that, you activate all that old stuff which is now present, now. Which now is affecting every relationship you have- and that's why you wisely and intuitively know, that's not the way to go about it. So, if you say: "well, what is it that I want to say yes to?" that softens it, first of all. And then you can think about what it is you really like! "Well. I really like my friends. And I really like the easiness that we all have together. And one of the reasons that we like to be together... what I'm saying yes to, one of the reasons that we like to be together is, that we are for the most part on the same wavelength. And it's something where I really want something... I don't want to work at it. I really want relaxation about it. I want to feel easy about it." This is the thing- oh, such a good question! THIS is the thing that we want all of you to hear, about this:
You are not inappropriate when you take the Path of least Resistance!
You mostly don't know that, because you've been trained: If it's not hard, you're not getting anywhere. And if you don't struggle, then it doesn't really count. And if there's not some pain, then there can't be any gain... and those are all such flawed premises!!
They fly in the face of the laws of the universe as we know them to be. So we want you to soothe yourself into saying: "It's all right for me to let my alignment come first. And so, if I'm faced with a situation, where I know my alignment is going to be challenged- there's nothing wrong, with you taking the Path of Least Resistance! Because when you accomplish a resistant free path, you get Alignment. And when you get Alignment, you get resources. You get Replenishment! You get stuff to give to everyone.
If you are not selfish enough to align yourself with your resources, you don't have anything to give anyone.
And haven't you all had the experience, where you did something that you really didn't want to do- and then it just kept showing you why you didn't want to do it? And so, the way we talked about that here today, was by saying: This thought must turn to this thing, and this thought must turn to this thing. So here's what you got to do, when someone hits you with something, and it hits you right here- if you can't turn this thought to this thought: Don't do it. -That's the answer, isn't it!
So- could you do that? Could you say "well, that was then, this is now. And we're different people." -You can't usually do that all of a sudden, can you? -To turn that thought about a past relationship, to this thought about a past relationship- we wouldn't just do it on the fly. We wouldn't do it in real time. We wouldn't say... it's sort of like saying: "Well my vibrational meter tells me that the way I feel about you, and everything that's come down is going to result in more misery. But I think I'll just play it out, and try to solve it in the middle of the misery! We'll just fight it out. We'll just fight it out, until it gets better!" -you hear what we're saying, don't you?
And so, if you can't move it in the vibrational stage, then don't move toward it!
And so, "no" is the right answer.
And if you want to soften it a little bit, you could say: "I have to say "no", because I'm not in the right place for us, to have a good outcome!"
In other words, that's telling it like it is. "I have to say no, not because there's something wrong with you. But because I haven't come to the resolution that I need to be at, that I now demand of myself. I gotta have fun, or I don't want to do that."
from the youtube clip Abraham Hicks - Saying yes and saying no
Outtake:
You are not inappropriate when you take the Path of least Resistance!
You mostly don't know that, because you've been trained: If it's not hard, you're not getting anywhere. And if you don't struggle, then it doesn't really count. And if there's not some pain, then there can't be any gain... and those are all such flawed premises!!
They fly in the face of the laws of the universe as we know them to be. So we want you to soothe yourself into saying: "It's all right for me to let my alignment come first. And so, if I'm faced with a situation, where I know my alignment is going to be challenged- there's nothing wrong, with you taking the Path of Least Resistance! Because when you accomplish a resistant free path, you get Alignment. And when you get Alignment, you get resources. You get Replenishment! You get stuff to give to everyone.
If you are not selfish enough to align yourself with your resources, you don't have anything to give anyone.
Abraham Hicks
You are not "Ego-driven" when you follow what your Alignment calls you to (aka, what feels better)!
HS:
I have a ex-business partner that is... I just haven't been feeling right about things. I've tried to...
Abe:
Ex, for a reason, huh?
HS:
Yeah. And we've tried different things and I've decided, you know, what for this year I just need to let it go. Just let it be away from me, for a little while. And recently, he's wanted to go on a trip with some of my friends, and I was asked the question of whether or not I was okay with that. And my initial thought or feeling was "no". But I give myself a hard time with saying no! Because who I want to be is the person who is not ego driven. And would accept...
Abe:
We don't want you to be ego driven. We want you to be Alignment-called!
There's a difference between being driven, and being inspired.
And so, when you realize that you've put it all in your vortex. And now your vortex is calling you to it- when you think about what you're inclined to say "yes" to, and what you're inclined to say "no" to, don't let that be a bad thing, to not feel like you want to say "yes" to something! It isn't!
That's like saying: "I'm going to get on the highway. And even though there are these lines that represent lanes... I don't want to be guided by that! So I'm going to drive all around."
And we say, that's fine- except nobody else really understands that. And it's going to make a lot of trouble in your world!
So sometimes it's helpful to think about what you're saying yes to. Because every subject is really two subjects: Wanted and unwanted. And so you can softly just say: "What I really want is...". When the impulse to say "no" comes up: "No. I don't really want to do that."
If you justify all the reasons you don't want to do that, you activate all that old stuff which is now present, now. Which now is affecting every relationship you have- and that's why you wisely and intuitively know, that's not the way to go about it. So, if you say: "well, what is it that I want to say yes to?" that softens it, first of all. And then you can think about what it is you really like! "Well. I really like my friends. And I really like the easiness that we all have together. And one of the reasons that we like to be together... what I'm saying yes to, one of the reasons that we like to be together is, that we are for the most part on the same wavelength. And it's something where I really want something... I don't want to work at it. I really want relaxation about it. I want to feel easy about it." This is the thing- oh, such a good question! THIS is the thing that we want all of you to hear, about this:
You are not inappropriate when you take the Path of least Resistance!
You mostly don't know that, because you've been trained: If it's not hard, you're not getting anywhere. And if you don't struggle, then it doesn't really count. And if there's not some pain, then there can't be any gain... and those are all such flawed premises!!
They fly in the face of the laws of the universe as we know them to be. So we want you to soothe yourself into saying: "It's all right for me to let my alignment come first. And so, if I'm faced with a situation, where I know my alignment is going to be challenged- there's nothing wrong, with you taking the Path of Least Resistance! Because when you accomplish a resistant free path, you get Alignment. And when you get Alignment, you get resources. You get Replenishment! You get stuff to give to everyone.
If you are not selfish enough to align yourself with your resources, you don't have anything to give anyone.
And haven't you all had the experience, where you did something that you really didn't want to do- and then it just kept showing you why you didn't want to do it? And so, the way we talked about that here today, was by saying: This thought must turn to this thing, and this thought must turn to this thing. So here's what you got to do, when someone hits you with something, and it hits you right here- if you can't turn this thought to this thought: Don't do it. -That's the answer, isn't it!
So- could you do that? Could you say "well, that was then, this is now. And we're different people." -You can't usually do that all of a sudden, can you? -To turn that thought about a past relationship, to this thought about a past relationship- we wouldn't just do it on the fly. We wouldn't do it in real time. We wouldn't say... it's sort of like saying: "Well my vibrational meter tells me that the way I feel about you, and everything that's come down is going to result in more misery. But I think I'll just play it out, and try to solve it in the middle of the misery! We'll just fight it out. We'll just fight it out, until it gets better!" -you hear what we're saying, don't you?
And so, if you can't move it in the vibrational stage, then don't move toward it!
And so, "no" is the right answer.
And if you want to soften it a little bit, you could say: "I have to say "no", because I'm not in the right place for us, to have a good outcome!"
In other words, that's telling it like it is. "I have to say no, not because there's something wrong with you. But because I haven't come to the resolution that I need to be at, that I now demand of myself. I gotta have fun, or I don't want to do that."
from the youtube clip Abraham Hicks - Saying yes and saying no
Outtake:
You are not inappropriate when you take the Path of least Resistance!
You mostly don't know that, because you've been trained: If it's not hard, you're not getting anywhere. And if you don't struggle, then it doesn't really count. And if there's not some pain, then there can't be any gain... and those are all such flawed premises!!
They fly in the face of the laws of the universe as we know them to be. So we want you to soothe yourself into saying: "It's all right for me to let my alignment come first. And so, if I'm faced with a situation, where I know my alignment is going to be challenged- there's nothing wrong, with you taking the Path of Least Resistance! Because when you accomplish a resistant free path, you get Alignment. And when you get Alignment, you get resources. You get Replenishment! You get stuff to give to everyone.
If you are not selfish enough to align yourself with your resources, you don't have anything to give anyone.
Abraham Hicks
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Paradise-on-Earth
- Plus Member
- Posts: 3888
- Joined: Sun Dec 17, 2023 9:19 am
Re: Quotes on Pleasing Others
Uncheatable Uponable
HS:
I was feeling that way for the last nine months really up until the date the night before I came on this cruise which I was feeling awesome about and then I found out that he's been cheating on me for a really long time.
Abe:
We agree that you all have different levels of how much you're willing to put up with. And whether he's just annoying, or whether he is violating some commitment that the two of you have established- in other words, we get it that there are narrower and wider gaps! But we want to be so bold as to say that,
whoever you are interacting with, is going to violate the commitment
that almost all of you want them to keep!
And the commitment that almost everybody wants everybody
that they're up close to impersonal to keep is,
"I want you to promise to put me first- no matter what."
And that is a commitment that no one keeps!
Because you're not wired like that!
You were not born like that!
You you've come to establish... We would like your marriage vows, or your relationship vows, to go like this:
"Dear one, I want you to know that- as much as I love you, there's someone who comes first before you.
And that is my alignment with the source, within me!
That's my inner being, that's who I'm devoted to.
That's why I'm aligned to.
That's who I'm feeling for.
That's what my commitment is to.
And my promise to you is, that I will give you, as much as I can, the fullness of me!
Not as the separated me.
I'm going to do my best to satisfy my alignment, and therefore give you the gift of living with someone, who has aligned.
And what that will be for you, what that will mean for you, how that will play out for you, is:
I won't be needing or demanding from you behavior, in order to keep myself happy!
My happiness will be dependent upon my focus."
There are people who feel betrayed, if their partners think about other people.
There are people who feel betrayed if their partner doesn't give their undivided attention to them.
There are people who feel jealous if anyone feels happy at the thought, or in the conversation with somebody else!
There are all kinds of degrees of cheating on you, and for the most part, any part of someone else cheating on you just means: "You've taken your attention away from me! And I was dependent upon your attention, being upon me, so that I could feel good! And now you've taken your attention away from me...!" (Towards the HS) This is too strong for you.
But, we really want you all to not be dependent upon anyone for the alignment.
That it is the epitome of looking for love in all the wrong places!
And when you say you've cheated on me, we know. We know there are agreements that you make! We get what you're talking about.
But we would like you to be uncheatable-upon-able!
"I'm stable in my self-respect! My sense of well-being is not dependent upon your behavior."
So what you're really wanting to do, is decide what you want, and become a vibrational match to what you want. And you will attract a partner who is a vibrational match to what you want, you see! And so we're not suggesting that you will not find another partner!
We're just suggesting that you find true alignment with who you are before you go looking!
from the official Abraham Hicks youtube-clip "Uncheatable Uponable", 2014
HS:
I was feeling that way for the last nine months really up until the date the night before I came on this cruise which I was feeling awesome about and then I found out that he's been cheating on me for a really long time.
Abe:
We agree that you all have different levels of how much you're willing to put up with. And whether he's just annoying, or whether he is violating some commitment that the two of you have established- in other words, we get it that there are narrower and wider gaps! But we want to be so bold as to say that,
whoever you are interacting with, is going to violate the commitment
that almost all of you want them to keep!
And the commitment that almost everybody wants everybody
that they're up close to impersonal to keep is,
"I want you to promise to put me first- no matter what."
And that is a commitment that no one keeps!
Because you're not wired like that!
You were not born like that!
You you've come to establish... We would like your marriage vows, or your relationship vows, to go like this:
"Dear one, I want you to know that- as much as I love you, there's someone who comes first before you.
And that is my alignment with the source, within me!
That's my inner being, that's who I'm devoted to.
That's why I'm aligned to.
That's who I'm feeling for.
That's what my commitment is to.
And my promise to you is, that I will give you, as much as I can, the fullness of me!
Not as the separated me.
I'm going to do my best to satisfy my alignment, and therefore give you the gift of living with someone, who has aligned.
And what that will be for you, what that will mean for you, how that will play out for you, is:
I won't be needing or demanding from you behavior, in order to keep myself happy!
My happiness will be dependent upon my focus."
There are people who feel betrayed, if their partners think about other people.
There are people who feel betrayed if their partner doesn't give their undivided attention to them.
There are people who feel jealous if anyone feels happy at the thought, or in the conversation with somebody else!
There are all kinds of degrees of cheating on you, and for the most part, any part of someone else cheating on you just means: "You've taken your attention away from me! And I was dependent upon your attention, being upon me, so that I could feel good! And now you've taken your attention away from me...!" (Towards the HS) This is too strong for you.
But, we really want you all to not be dependent upon anyone for the alignment.
That it is the epitome of looking for love in all the wrong places!
And when you say you've cheated on me, we know. We know there are agreements that you make! We get what you're talking about.
But we would like you to be uncheatable-upon-able!
"I'm stable in my self-respect! My sense of well-being is not dependent upon your behavior."
So what you're really wanting to do, is decide what you want, and become a vibrational match to what you want. And you will attract a partner who is a vibrational match to what you want, you see! And so we're not suggesting that you will not find another partner!
We're just suggesting that you find true alignment with who you are before you go looking!
from the official Abraham Hicks youtube-clip "Uncheatable Uponable", 2014
-
spiritualcookie
- Posts: 2286
- Joined: Sat Dec 02, 2023 10:32 pm
Re: Quotes on Pleasing Others
When you want to please the other, but disagree about something important, and the disagreement creates a bad feeling, what do you do?
As Esther tries to express to her mother her joy of working with Abraham, her offering terrifies her mother.
The same experience brings blissful joy to one and tremendous terror to the other, because of the set of beliefs that are currently within each of the two women.
As Esther tries to get her mother to understand Abraham, she only makes it worse.
And as her mother tries to get Esther to understand how bad Abraham is, it only makes the relationship worse.
But as each of them steps back from that issue and focuses upon the fact that what they want is HARMONY with one another, and talk about the safe subjects:
"How's the weather? How's the chicken? How's the daughter?
How's father? How are you doing? Are you happy?
I think of you often. I love you very much.
I'm so appreciative of all of the time we have had together.
What you have offered me has meant a great deal.
I think of you every day for one reason or another.
I look around my home and see the beautiful things that you've added and I'm filled with such love as I think of you Mother."
As Esther is focused upon what she is wanting to see in her mother, she extracts harmony forth.
And as her mother focuses upon things she is wanting to see in Esther, she extracts harmony forth.
and as either of them focus upon the one thing that drives both of them crazy, they have a terrible experience.
As you stop trying to get the others to agree with you about everything, and just BE, and seek HARMONY with self, and then let them find their harmony with you as you look for your harmony with them, - then you are in a very good place.
- Abraham
As Esther tries to express to her mother her joy of working with Abraham, her offering terrifies her mother.
The same experience brings blissful joy to one and tremendous terror to the other, because of the set of beliefs that are currently within each of the two women.
As Esther tries to get her mother to understand Abraham, she only makes it worse.
And as her mother tries to get Esther to understand how bad Abraham is, it only makes the relationship worse.
But as each of them steps back from that issue and focuses upon the fact that what they want is HARMONY with one another, and talk about the safe subjects:
"How's the weather? How's the chicken? How's the daughter?
How's father? How are you doing? Are you happy?
I think of you often. I love you very much.
I'm so appreciative of all of the time we have had together.
What you have offered me has meant a great deal.
I think of you every day for one reason or another.
I look around my home and see the beautiful things that you've added and I'm filled with such love as I think of you Mother."
As Esther is focused upon what she is wanting to see in her mother, she extracts harmony forth.
And as her mother focuses upon things she is wanting to see in Esther, she extracts harmony forth.
and as either of them focus upon the one thing that drives both of them crazy, they have a terrible experience.
As you stop trying to get the others to agree with you about everything, and just BE, and seek HARMONY with self, and then let them find their harmony with you as you look for your harmony with them, - then you are in a very good place.
- Abraham
-
spiritualcookie
- Posts: 2286
- Joined: Sat Dec 02, 2023 10:32 pm
Re: Quotes on Pleasing Others
When you want others to feel better - some tips on helping them
You can't stop doing something. Did you know that?
No matter how hard you try you can't stop doing something.
You can start doing something else. (...)
And so all that you are wanting when you are wanting somebody to stop doing something, is to put their focus upon something else.
To begin doing something else.
To replace one behaviour with another.
To replace one thought with another.
To replace one feeling with another.
- Abraham
You can't stop doing something. Did you know that?
No matter how hard you try you can't stop doing something.
You can start doing something else. (...)
And so all that you are wanting when you are wanting somebody to stop doing something, is to put their focus upon something else.
To begin doing something else.
To replace one behaviour with another.
To replace one thought with another.
To replace one feeling with another.
- Abraham