Salamander 89!
Here is the answer I can give you, "in a nutshell".
Salamander89 wrote: ↑Mon Jun 03, 2024 10:00 pm
I've basically been in love with a woman I've worked with for a few years.
I don't think that she feels the same way back. I'm almost certain.
She left a few weeks back. I'm completely in love with her, she had real problems with her boyfriend, who she might still be with. I'm used to being hurt over and over again by girls. I feel so, so, so bad. Every day I wish I was waking up next to her.
When you step 2 steps back from your problem and look at it through the lense of you being the attractor of what you send out, you will clearly see WHAT you attract- and why: You ALWAYS get back what you send out!
Please, could someone guide me through all of this the Abe-hicks way, I'm not a stranger to any of this, I've read all the books, watch all the YouTube videos.
I really don't want to be hard on you!
I've been there and done exactly that somewhen in my life, as well. So I know: The only thing that helps is,
to change what YOU put out, into something that feels better.
When you expect a change of your outcome without changing the crap that you put out, that would be (with Einsteins words) "madness"! And as a seasoned Aber that you say you are, I am certain you get it in the right way, what I am telling you here!
I cry myself to sleep every night thinking of her.
I'm constantly depressed and need some kind of guidance to lift me out of this depression. I don't feel good enough for her and suffer from real feelings of insecurity.
-It is clear, that you CAN NOT expect good things to be attracted by this stance, right?
I need some specific course of action through processes. Somebody once mentioned distraction on the old forum, and meditation. But I find it so, so hard to get off the subject when you're so used to focusing on this subject that bothers you.
Yes, it IS hard! Because you have trained the unwanted so intensely, for so long. You have created a routine, that is sooo easy for you to follow, now: Yearning, being rejected, feeling pity and self-shame, and then trying and yearning to get healing from
outside.
The good news is, it is not as painful to get out of this dark pit, as it was to get into it. AND it will not take as much time! Because what you can do- deliberate soothing and deliberate guiding your focus- is much more powerful than "creating by default", as you had done, so far.
I'm applying for a job that she works at, amongst many, because I am so desperate to leave my current position cos I hate it so much.
What do you think CAN come from the stance, of you being desperate and filled with hate?
-right: More desperation and hate, and more things to hate.
The trick is always to start taking control over your vibration and train (!) it into a much better, wanted stance BEFORE you take action.
We often used to message each other, now she has cut off all communication. I know, I sound sooo desperate and pathetic, this is not who I am.
Not in your core, for sure! Who you really are is God in physical form, willing to have a human experience.
You have the power to lead yourself into whatever you REALLY want to live. And when you achieved that, there's a chance that she might want to be in communication with you again, too. But obviously, she is not into desperateness and pathos! And, I understand her.
You do, probably, too!
I feel fear and desperation. I don't feel good enough for her. I want to know the best way to soothe myself. If I was to "go general" (a phrase that I know Abraham use often in various YouTube clips), how would I go about doing that.
Maybe she indeed has cut off the relationship because she realized, it is
not good for her!?
What a wise woman she is, if she did that on purpose. All you have to give to her in the moment is neediness, un-aligned action-journeys and despair, right? Would you really want that for a person you supposedly LOVE??
On the other hand, who you "really are" is certainly good enough for her! But where you linger right now is probably not good for anybody to be close with- certainly not for yourself. And the indicator for that is HOW ROTTEN YOU FEEL.
So, your first thought should be how you can become a better match to yourself- to your soul. And in that, to your soulmates (=the mates of your soul, that your soul REALLY wants to be close with).
You have trained yourself away from your soul and your love (believe me, where you are you CAN NOT feel love, as love resides on the upper top of the EGS!) Slowly, in babysteps, allow yourself to relax more and more into who you really are, and the love that your soul always feels. Drop your resistances, your neediness that holds you off (like a drug-addict) from what would heal you. Relax into where you are. Stop running back into the burning stable, so to speak. Care for getting MUCH better. Before you did that, you are a pain to those around you, and you miss what you really want.
I've been there and done exactly that somewhen in my life, as well. So I know: The only thing that helps is, 
Let love, ease, joy and self-care lead the way. BE NICER TO YOURSELF.
It stops the negative thought train and replaces it.
