Hi good people,
Lately the question of building intensity verse calm conversation- when it comes to bringing up topics with significant other, has been confusing me. I am ready for more clarity on this.
How do I explain/ask this.
Sometimes I get very firey when a topic is utterly important to me, and when I want my SO and I to go to the next level up regarding some topic.
I was always taught saying things with anger or even with just high intensity (which I can naturally have) is bad bad.
And yet, it’s how things Want to come out sometimes (maybe not the anger part but the intense part.)
I struggle between ‘surrendering’ to the intensity that wants to come out, to using my vocabulary the way I naturally want to, Verse- putting on airs with my words, verse planning and plodding how to bring up a subject so it comes out a certain way, gets a certain outcome, Gets My point Across with note to how important it is to me.
I am coming to think one side of that always, is not the right answer- I am coming to feel there is a balance.
Surrender and let the intensity out- AND remember to have your heart set on the living outcome I want?
That’s…. Hm.
Sometimes I feel ‘wrong’ when I bring things up this way, what would look like ‘a fight’. - it also feels like saying what I Mean, with the emotion I truly have that goes with it- is a natural and freeing thing.
I am caught feeling both ways about it at once and it is uncomfortable. I am ready for clarity on this now.
Anyone out there firey too? How do u handle this? I know we are not all meant to be ‘meek’ all the time, I don’t care what I was taught the Bible said, I know I am firey on purpose and it can be a beautiful thing about me. But/and their is a line there.. I cross it sometimes and I can tell because I feel worse. (And other times I’m just beating up on myself for being different, or loud or whatever my elders told me I was not supposed to be when I was young)
I want to find that healthy balance.
Any experience/advise out there? Any stories that might shine a light.
Thanks
AllieCat
Personal advise on balance?
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13thAllieCat
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Re: Personal advise on balance?
Maybe it’s not the intensity, maybe it’s how I feel ABOUT the intensity afterward?
But maybe I put too much ‘force’ into the intensity too? Or maybe sometimes I let it slide into anger?
But maybe I put too much ‘force’ into the intensity too? Or maybe sometimes I let it slide into anger?
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spiritualcookie
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Re: Personal advise on balance?
Hi 13thAllieCat! 
I've been there with the fieriness myself at times! and I've seen it in my loved ones too. Here's what I've figured out about it from my experience and from my understanding of Abraham's teachings:
The intensity is to do with your current vibrational set-point. So it feels like the most natural and authentic way to be right now because it is how you're currently vibrating.
When we're at a place on the emotional guidance scale like for example "overwhelmed" or "frustrated" or "anger" - or any of those intense emotions - it can leak out as fieriness even when discussing subjects that aren't the root cause of these feelings.
The reason it can feel "wrong" is that some of these intense feelings (mixed up with feelings of impatience / frustration / anger / overwhelment etc) are not your natural true "Inner Being" state. Sometimes when we let these kind of emotions run totally free and wild, it can make us feel a little out of control as we get carried away with the emotion, which can result in saying things we later regret, or that feel like they cross a line.
Your true "Inner Being" state is of feeling empowered peace, calm, balance, kindness, patience and love. You can be powerful and assertive in a way that feels comfortable to you.
The way to use your positive fieriness to build towards assertive, aligned powerfulness that feels good, is by climbing up the emotional guidance scale. And the way to do that is to start with owning where you are and making peace with it. Being authentic (as you are being) is important because you have to start from where you authentically are.
The next steps are doing all the Abe work of raising vibration bit by bit. Catching the emotion before it runs away from you and pivoting it. Soothing the anger / frustration / impatience / etc authentically to help you move upwards. It's natural at first to have some slips (as Abe say - it's like jumping out of an airplane - it'll be over in a minute) - and then you can catch it the next time, or the next time. It's just a matter of practice and giving yourself the time and space to climb up the EGS gradually
I've been there with the fieriness myself at times! and I've seen it in my loved ones too. Here's what I've figured out about it from my experience and from my understanding of Abraham's teachings:
The intensity is to do with your current vibrational set-point. So it feels like the most natural and authentic way to be right now because it is how you're currently vibrating.
When we're at a place on the emotional guidance scale like for example "overwhelmed" or "frustrated" or "anger" - or any of those intense emotions - it can leak out as fieriness even when discussing subjects that aren't the root cause of these feelings.
The reason it can feel "wrong" is that some of these intense feelings (mixed up with feelings of impatience / frustration / anger / overwhelment etc) are not your natural true "Inner Being" state. Sometimes when we let these kind of emotions run totally free and wild, it can make us feel a little out of control as we get carried away with the emotion, which can result in saying things we later regret, or that feel like they cross a line.
Your true "Inner Being" state is of feeling empowered peace, calm, balance, kindness, patience and love. You can be powerful and assertive in a way that feels comfortable to you.
The way to use your positive fieriness to build towards assertive, aligned powerfulness that feels good, is by climbing up the emotional guidance scale. And the way to do that is to start with owning where you are and making peace with it. Being authentic (as you are being) is important because you have to start from where you authentically are.
The next steps are doing all the Abe work of raising vibration bit by bit. Catching the emotion before it runs away from you and pivoting it. Soothing the anger / frustration / impatience / etc authentically to help you move upwards. It's natural at first to have some slips (as Abe say - it's like jumping out of an airplane - it'll be over in a minute) - and then you can catch it the next time, or the next time. It's just a matter of practice and giving yourself the time and space to climb up the EGS gradually
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Paradise-on-Earth
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Re: Personal advise on balance?
Hi AllieCat, dear fellow Passionista!
Here is the EGS.
You will notice, around Boredom/Contentment is, as Abe say, "the Fulcrum" of the EGS. It is somehow (!) the slowest energies. From there upwards, the energies speed up, and from there, downwards the energies speed up. So, the vibration goes FASTER on the unwanted side (there are the most "intense" stances being 17, 18 and 19, but then they become slower again, as there, the life-force stops to fight for its life and starts to surrender into (literally) dying. In 22, the life is almost gone. You feel numb and hollow, and the next worse step WOULD be physical death. (And then, you are back fully in pure positive energy, so you can never get lost!).
BUT, the energy also speeds up from the fulcrum, upwards! The higher you vibrate, the faster the vibration is. Passion (point 2), together with Fascination, Delight, Bliss... vibe sooo much higher and are also so much more "intense" than Positive Expectation! And then, here as well, the energy FEELS calmer when you move even higher into position 1.
Just like on the low end of the EGS, while of course ITV, it's in the wanted energies!. And that is, because you in point 1 still feel passion, but it is fully mingled now with unconditional Peace, a sense of wholly being Free, or completely Empowered, or in true, unconditional Love. And that adds an incredible note of Fullness to the already very high vibe.
This Fullness, this ALIGNMENT then seems to be "complete". It never is, Abe said the EGS is open to above, it always becomes even more and the vibe even higher and faster. But we FEEL it as calm and fulfilled, endlessly joyful. The "edge" (that was still there in Passion and Eagerness) is completely off in point 1, the resistance is all gone. So, it feels veeeery smooth.
Having said this, being myself someone who is a VERY fiery person herself, I, too, had many problems with those that are more earthy or watery-structured people (my husband is a total mix of Earth- and Water-components, and I am almost completely Air and Fire!). This characters naturally think I would be aggressive. Well, you could call that pro-active, instead! You could call it intense (as you did), passionate, eager, fascinated or thrilled! But per example, my husband very often feels attacked when I am simply passionate. It is like the cat and the dog- we speak two different languages. None is better than the other, but they don't translate that easy into each other. When the dog wags his tail, it means something VERY different than when the cat moves her tail! When the cat purrs, it means the opposite than when the dog growls.
You have to simple KNOW this, and consider it, before you re-act and make your conclusions.
As soon you understand, things get so much easier.
So, fiery people must not at all be in negativity! They, to the contrary, can be incredibly high vibing, much higher than the middle-ground vibes that most people know, who reside normally somewhere between points 5 and 16. It would be wonderful to deeply understand this yourself, so you can stop your doubt and free up yourself!
Here is the EGS.
You will notice, around Boredom/Contentment is, as Abe say, "the Fulcrum" of the EGS. It is somehow (!) the slowest energies. From there upwards, the energies speed up, and from there, downwards the energies speed up. So, the vibration goes FASTER on the unwanted side (there are the most "intense" stances being 17, 18 and 19, but then they become slower again, as there, the life-force stops to fight for its life and starts to surrender into (literally) dying. In 22, the life is almost gone. You feel numb and hollow, and the next worse step WOULD be physical death. (And then, you are back fully in pure positive energy, so you can never get lost!).
BUT, the energy also speeds up from the fulcrum, upwards! The higher you vibrate, the faster the vibration is. Passion (point 2), together with Fascination, Delight, Bliss... vibe sooo much higher and are also so much more "intense" than Positive Expectation! And then, here as well, the energy FEELS calmer when you move even higher into position 1.
Just like on the low end of the EGS, while of course ITV, it's in the wanted energies!. And that is, because you in point 1 still feel passion, but it is fully mingled now with unconditional Peace, a sense of wholly being Free, or completely Empowered, or in true, unconditional Love. And that adds an incredible note of Fullness to the already very high vibe.
This Fullness, this ALIGNMENT then seems to be "complete". It never is, Abe said the EGS is open to above, it always becomes even more and the vibe even higher and faster. But we FEEL it as calm and fulfilled, endlessly joyful. The "edge" (that was still there in Passion and Eagerness) is completely off in point 1, the resistance is all gone. So, it feels veeeery smooth.
Having said this, being myself someone who is a VERY fiery person herself, I, too, had many problems with those that are more earthy or watery-structured people (my husband is a total mix of Earth- and Water-components, and I am almost completely Air and Fire!). This characters naturally think I would be aggressive. Well, you could call that pro-active, instead! You could call it intense (as you did), passionate, eager, fascinated or thrilled! But per example, my husband very often feels attacked when I am simply passionate. It is like the cat and the dog- we speak two different languages. None is better than the other, but they don't translate that easy into each other. When the dog wags his tail, it means something VERY different than when the cat moves her tail! When the cat purrs, it means the opposite than when the dog growls.
You have to simple KNOW this, and consider it, before you re-act and make your conclusions.
As soon you understand, things get so much easier.
So, fiery people must not at all be in negativity! They, to the contrary, can be incredibly high vibing, much higher than the middle-ground vibes that most people know, who reside normally somewhere between points 5 and 16. It would be wonderful to deeply understand this yourself, so you can stop your doubt and free up yourself!
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13thAllieCat
- Posts: 13
- Joined: Wed Mar 27, 2024 1:05 pm
Re: Personal advise on balance?
Hi SpiritualCookie!
Thanks for replying.
I think.. you've hit something on frustration/impatience being wrapped up in that intensity, when it comes to bringing up subjects (probably especially with the SO). I think thats a really good point for me to let in. I Also want to say I think some of what confuses me here, is that sometimes I am That intense in a very good way. (and they can feel similar, also the ideas of surrendering sometimes come into my head when the intensity comes up and I think maybe its right.) - Do you remember the Abe story about the truck stop waitress? Back in the Jerry days they stopped at some truck stop in the south for sit down food, and the place is big, and its Packed. and their is One waitress. And shes killin it. Abe said they watched her, not frustrated, in the zone. Handling all the food and people, well. I know what this zone feels like - I enjoy this zone. When I get into this zone for me it goes with an intensity- of movement, gesticulation, enjoying my movements, enjoying the pattern, enjoying the timing, hitting the timing.. their is a flow that I am part of/creating, with beats and patterns timing and I love being inside of that timing and energy. When I get in this zone, their is this intensity that goes with it (is that the same for anyone else? I am not sure but somehow I feel like it is)(the waitress story, reminds me of why Abe likes to watch basketball players - zone, timing, focus. I think they are the same, the 'basketball zone' and the 'waitress killing it' zone) I know that feels good, I know that intensity feels good and is right. Maybe a key is not using that intensity attached to a specific subject... maybe that could be a warning to me, hey this isn't good-feeling intensity, this has the taint of frustration and fear on it. Hm- hit on something there... the waitress zone has nothing to do with fear, their is a time crunch but its not seen as something to fight against, not afraid time will run out before getting what you wanted to get. hm, some clarity is coming on this.
If I may ask a side topic question- now that Ive brought up that waitress in the zone, story - Ive had a standing question about that. Abe I think, said that waitress was in the vortex. Yet she wasnt joyous. Basketball players on their most focused game are not necessarily 'joyous' or 'excited' or 'bursting with love'... I understand being in the vortex feels like the best feeling, I liken it to energized joy, happy feelings. Yet this example of being in the vortex would not be described like that - this topic makes me want to ask - what DOES being in the vortex feel like? Have I pigeonholed it into one thing and really its a little more varied than that?
Thanks for replying.
I think.. you've hit something on frustration/impatience being wrapped up in that intensity, when it comes to bringing up subjects (probably especially with the SO). I think thats a really good point for me to let in. I Also want to say I think some of what confuses me here, is that sometimes I am That intense in a very good way. (and they can feel similar, also the ideas of surrendering sometimes come into my head when the intensity comes up and I think maybe its right.) - Do you remember the Abe story about the truck stop waitress? Back in the Jerry days they stopped at some truck stop in the south for sit down food, and the place is big, and its Packed. and their is One waitress. And shes killin it. Abe said they watched her, not frustrated, in the zone. Handling all the food and people, well. I know what this zone feels like - I enjoy this zone. When I get into this zone for me it goes with an intensity- of movement, gesticulation, enjoying my movements, enjoying the pattern, enjoying the timing, hitting the timing.. their is a flow that I am part of/creating, with beats and patterns timing and I love being inside of that timing and energy. When I get in this zone, their is this intensity that goes with it (is that the same for anyone else? I am not sure but somehow I feel like it is)(the waitress story, reminds me of why Abe likes to watch basketball players - zone, timing, focus. I think they are the same, the 'basketball zone' and the 'waitress killing it' zone) I know that feels good, I know that intensity feels good and is right. Maybe a key is not using that intensity attached to a specific subject... maybe that could be a warning to me, hey this isn't good-feeling intensity, this has the taint of frustration and fear on it. Hm- hit on something there... the waitress zone has nothing to do with fear, their is a time crunch but its not seen as something to fight against, not afraid time will run out before getting what you wanted to get. hm, some clarity is coming on this. If I may ask a side topic question- now that Ive brought up that waitress in the zone, story - Ive had a standing question about that. Abe I think, said that waitress was in the vortex. Yet she wasnt joyous. Basketball players on their most focused game are not necessarily 'joyous' or 'excited' or 'bursting with love'... I understand being in the vortex feels like the best feeling, I liken it to energized joy, happy feelings. Yet this example of being in the vortex would not be described like that - this topic makes me want to ask - what DOES being in the vortex feel like? Have I pigeonholed it into one thing and really its a little more varied than that?
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13thAllieCat
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Re: Personal advise on balance?
Hi paradise on Earth! Thanks for replying! (oh Paradise I really feel you understand where Im coming from here and I thank you so much)
I really am feeling how you are giving light to how the energies (good and 'bad') can feel intense and then also can somehow be higher AND calmer, I have gotten tastes of this and its so... COMFORTABLE with the good feeling. that 'fullness' you say, I use this word to, full - its the best, whole-est, ME, feeling. I Know what you are talking about. Yes, yes I loove passion but yes I love that even more, that IS a mark I want to be at. Also the message brought light to somethings I didn't understand about how fast the energies move- and based on personal experience I think you are dead right, the energies def move faster at 17 18 and 19, I do often feel that, its a little encouraging to think/realize they move faster at the top too.
ahh you are giving me a gift by telling me this story, how some may call you aggressive (I may have been called that a time or two my dear) and how many times thats your passion, your eagerness, your willingness to be thrilled... which I feel in myself and IS so beautiful some times, I so want it to be seen as it is. I dont want to be asked to be different or less!! Sometimes it feels like people are asking me to be smaller.
AND sometimes... maybe my intensity IS a bit anger, a bit frustration, a bit fear... and THAT is not the same. Thank you Paradise, this was very very good. I got some understanding here now, ok now.. what do we do with it. Ok.. next time I am feeling 'extra' and its linked with a specific subject that I want to 'change'... take a step back, see where I am really vibing. (good day to consider this today because I can honestly feel a bit of this intensity mixed with a bit of anger right now, ahahhah oh the things we learn inside our relationships!) ok and right now I Know, this intensity is not coming from the upper scale. ok .. ok so we, go in the tool box and calm down/vibe up. Meditate today on something I want that feels good. Maybe first journal this out a bit, as I have something stuck in my craw- yea going to have to go at the subject today head on I think, then I will be able to meditate and let in better thoughts and hopefulness. I think this is a good plan. Paradise, any other advise on that baba?
Thanks! a lot!
Lets have great days! (and nights too!)
-AllieCat
I really am feeling how you are giving light to how the energies (good and 'bad') can feel intense and then also can somehow be higher AND calmer, I have gotten tastes of this and its so... COMFORTABLE with the good feeling. that 'fullness' you say, I use this word to, full - its the best, whole-est, ME, feeling. I Know what you are talking about. Yes, yes I loove passion but yes I love that even more, that IS a mark I want to be at. Also the message brought light to somethings I didn't understand about how fast the energies move- and based on personal experience I think you are dead right, the energies def move faster at 17 18 and 19, I do often feel that, its a little encouraging to think/realize they move faster at the top too.
ahh you are giving me a gift by telling me this story, how some may call you aggressive (I may have been called that a time or two my dear) and how many times thats your passion, your eagerness, your willingness to be thrilled... which I feel in myself and IS so beautiful some times, I so want it to be seen as it is. I dont want to be asked to be different or less!! Sometimes it feels like people are asking me to be smaller.
AND sometimes... maybe my intensity IS a bit anger, a bit frustration, a bit fear... and THAT is not the same. Thank you Paradise, this was very very good. I got some understanding here now, ok now.. what do we do with it. Ok.. next time I am feeling 'extra' and its linked with a specific subject that I want to 'change'... take a step back, see where I am really vibing. (good day to consider this today because I can honestly feel a bit of this intensity mixed with a bit of anger right now, ahahhah oh the things we learn inside our relationships!) ok and right now I Know, this intensity is not coming from the upper scale. ok .. ok so we, go in the tool box and calm down/vibe up. Meditate today on something I want that feels good. Maybe first journal this out a bit, as I have something stuck in my craw- yea going to have to go at the subject today head on I think, then I will be able to meditate and let in better thoughts and hopefulness. I think this is a good plan. Paradise, any other advise on that baba?
Thanks! a lot!
Lets have great days! (and nights too!)
-AllieCat
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spiritualcookie
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Re: Personal advise on balance?
oh that's an interesting question! I'm glad you asked - it helps me to gain more clarity on it too!
Thinking about it - I think the waitress and the basketball player are both "focused on a positive-feeling goal / job" and are "in flow" with that. They are focused on a job they are good at, and that makes them feel accomplished, which is feel-good. Positive focus like this can feel like ease, non-resistant flow, and satisfaction, which are all Vortexy emotions, even if they are not necessarily full-blown enthusiastic joy. I think satisfaction is pretty close to contentment which is number 7 on the EGS that POE posted.
I'm not sure but I think The Vortex is points 1-7 on the EGS, and there are other emotions that are Vortexy too that are not written on the EGS eg positive-focus, ease, fun, flow, satisfaction, confidence, accomplishment, feeling of-value, feeling useful / helpful - there are probably others too! I guess the answer to your question is that the Vortex IS pretty varied!
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Paradise-on-Earth
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Re: Personal advise on balance?
oh, I want to answer this, too!
Abe defined the "Vortex" as the states above being 51% non-resistant. And so, in the lower stances of the Vortex (as, Optimism), this feels a bit better than neutral.
When you move higher, it feels more and more good, until -in point 1, the resistance of yours is gone. You feel PURELY joyful and good! Abe said, when you want to know how Source/God feels, go into the high flying discs, aka point 1- then you know: Pure life-energy, without resistance. Aka, Joy, Love, Power, Freedom, Peace!
And a little hint
ALL stances FEEL as they are called: Optimism feels optimistic. Irritation feels irritated. Doubt feels doubtful. Anger feels angry. And so on. It is really quite easy to understand! -
Paradise-on-Earth
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Re: Personal advise on balance?
I guess in some way, we all experience the emotions and stances in some way equally! (and I LOVED this story so much, too!)13thAllieCat wrote: ↑Fri Jun 07, 2024 2:18 pm ... When I get into this zone for me it goes with an intensity- of movement, gesticulation, enjoying my movements, enjoying the pattern, enjoying the timing, hitting the timing.. their is a flow that I am part of/creating, with beats and patterns timing and I love being inside of that timing and energy. When I get in this zone, their is this intensity that goes with it (is that the same for anyone else? I am not sure but somehow I feel like it is)
This is so wise! Exactly!(the waitress story, reminds me of why Abe likes to watch basketball players - zone, timing, focus. I think they are the same, the 'basketball zone' and the 'waitress killing it' zone) I know that feels good, I know that intensity feels good and is right. Maybe a key is not using that intensity attached to a specific subject... maybe that could be a warning to me, hey this isn't good-feeling intensity, this has the taint of frustration and fear on it.
Abe explained you can be "intensely" thrilled in a very good feeling way (eager, fascinated, passionate). And also, in a quite bad feeling way (fearful, terrorized...)
exactly. She worked from highly ITV, without resistances... and the results where stunningly GOOD.Hm- hit on something there... the waitress zone has nothing to do with fear, their is a time crunch but its not seen as something to fight against, not afraid time will run out before getting what you wanted to get. hm, some clarity is coming on this.
I don't think we can know that she was NOT joyful!
I don't think we can split off joy from the other "highflying discs" in point 1: It ALL has a bit of joy within it, be it love, be it peace, be it power, be it freedom! And vice versa! Freedom has empowerment and love and peace mingled in, and so on...
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Paradise-on-Earth
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Re: Personal advise on balance?
Hope (point 6) is, according to Abe NOT really ITV anymore. But Abe say, if you linger there long enough, the Vortex will pull you in, eventually.spiritualcookie wrote: ↑Fri Jun 07, 2024 3:40 pm
I'm not sure but I think The Vortex is points 1-7 on the EGS, and there are other emotions that are Vortexy too that are not written on the EGS eg positive-focus, ease, fun, flow, satisfaction, confidence, accomplishment, feeling of-value, feeling useful / helpful - there are probably others too! I guess the answer to your question is that the Vortex IS pretty varied!
Contentment (point 7) is OOTV as well, but it is "the Fulcrum" of the EGS where you experience neutrality.
So the Vortex really begins at point 5 (Optimism) where you clearly (!) feel better (=more joyful, more free, more empowered, more loving...) than neutral.
And you are right, there are so many more ITV-stances, that fit within and around what Abe had Esther name. And some of this terms mean different stances to different people. AND, "the Vortex is open to above". There is endlessly more of high stances. Abe have said, the lowest point that source energy can feel is love (which is the human peak, together with freedom, power, joy and peace). Which all are- according to Abe- so close in vibration, that humans can't really decipher a difference between them, any more.