I found out I have Aphantasia - question about controlling my thinking

[Paradise-on-Earth]

I got offered this clip, and I found it interesting...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRLkDaf ... el=SciShow
"Why Some People Don't Have an Inner Monologue"

[simon]

While I want to point to the fact that you use words like "I need to..." very very often. Which, for *me* in my life, had been an indicator of resistance I wasn't aware of for long. You seem to feel a pressure, an urge, to change "what doesn't work". And it's so logical, isn't it! OF COURSE you want to get rid of what doesn't feel so good.

But this is exactly what I was talking about: There is a HUGE difference in trying to get rid of something unwanted, and embracing and appreciating something wanted. At first, the difference sounds so minimal, almost not discernable. But it is HUGE.
One time, you are in the "OOTV-pile" and "must" (!) work hard, you "need" to change things, you "have to" better yourself.
While in the "ITV-pile", you WANT to enjoy things. Wild horses couldn't hold you back to dig into fascinating topics, explore new approaches that feel so calling and joyful. You feel blessed by taking time to learn this, or that, which thrills you and feels as a blessing!

WHAT A DIFFERENCE!

I hear what you're saying.
It reminds me a bit of what Abraham says that sometimes when people think they're thinking of their desire, they're actually thinking of the opposite, the lack end of the stick. They are thinking about for example "money" but they're thinking of it in the lack end of money that they're used to thinking about, and they can tell, if it doesn't feel good.
I've had a habit of focusing on negative emotions as something unwanted, and seeing it as something I "need to fix", and what I want to do is to shift my perspective and see it as the helpful guidance as it is, and embracing that guidance.
Any time we're doing the Step 3 allowing, it should feel better every step along the way, if it feels worse at any point, you can know you have started to paddle upstream instead of letting the stream taking you downstream.

This is a big thing I really have to start doing.

Say this better! "You CAN start doing that". "You WANT to start doing that". "I would love to do that... instead." This phrases feel so much more empowered and joyful, don't they?

Oh you're absolutely right. I didn't even notice I was saying it in an unhelpful way. It came so easily. I want to do it ! I want to find ways to focus that feel good or better

exactly! "I am where I am. And that MUST be ok." (Abe)

I'd love it! I feel that people can usually do MUCH more than they think they can... And if you don't "make" it in the first attempts, what difference does it make? It's just part of the "training" and of learning what works for you, and when!

There is freedom waiting for you,
On the breezes of the sky,

And you ask,
"What if I fall?"
Oh but my darling,
"What if you fly?"
- Erin Hanson

That is such a nice quote, thank you!

I do think that the "clean up" processes are meant to be used to push against, but rather to take the thoughts you are already thinking in any given moment and shift them,

-do you want to say, they are NOT meant to push against?
-I do absolutely agree with that. Abe certainly do not teach pushing against! What I try to say is, that many students do not get it in that way. They are deeply (and by default) trained in pushing against, and so they use this tools (without even noticing, mostly!) to push against more efficiently. And THAT is my whole point here.

Yes absolutely. If you give any of the processes a go, and you don't feel better from it, that process or "game" is not working for you in that moment, or you're using at to push against instead of what it's made for, you're not going downstream.
Or as you say, you go look for issues in a way that Abraham doesn't recommend.
What you should prioritize is find any way to get ITV (inside the vortex), and stay there as long as you can. Do anything that feels better.
In my view, the more "deliberate processes" have a purpose that can be helpful to some, I'll explain what I mean more below.

But other than that, I do think that "distraction" or "appreciating something that are easy for you to appreciate" would be faster ways to feel better, but it probably depends on the situation and where you are. I appreciate that Abraham give us so many helpful tools for different situations.

Certainly. People have different preferences, and different stance, that qualify very different tools. Especially where you are on the EGS is a big factor. A very high vibing tool as a rampage, per example, seems not to be a good fit for MOST of people who are trained far OOTV. But exceptions are always possible- the rampages, per example, saved *me* when I was depressive.

I see both ways of kind of accomplishing the same thing (if done in the way Abraham is teaching), to find a way to feel better in the moment.

Yes, both work. But one time you drag yourself and create new resistances as you go (when you have your focus on dealing with problems, this WILL create new opportunities to deal with problems! This is pure LoA!)

Yah... I lost my interest in most processes (while I appreciated them as long I still needed them) I find it the most helpful "process" to feel for what I am joyfully DRAWN to do in the moment, in this days.

I wanted to save this for last.
You're not wrong, but there's a reason Abraham also have given us those processes. Well, they have some processes like Appreciation and Pivoting, virtual reality, Meditation, etc, that are for feeling better in general right now (better can also mean feel very good of course, if you're already on the higher ends of the EGS), and there are processes that deals with specific subjects and permanently shift your set-point or belief on a specific subject that you want to feel better about.

I don't find it the easiest to explain myself, but I'm in luck. I found some saved posts from a user on InwardQuest (https://inwardquest.com/), which is another website that I pretty much never visit normally, but I found these posts by the user "Stingray" only from having googled more information about Focus wheels and so on, and I have saved away some posts that were helpful to me.
The screenshot that I'm going to share now are from a thread that doesn't seem to exist anymore, and posts that are like 10 years old, but how he describes the difference between the "general feel better"-processes and "improve your vibration on a troubling subject"-processes are exactly how I view them, too. And I can see that they both have their place. But, I acknowledge that you could live a happy life and never ever use the "clean up" processes. And as he also explains in the post, what you were talking about, that you don't want to spend too much time doing it, because when you are, you are spending the time focusing on the unwanted for a while.

For example, I have some troubling subjects in my life, aka negative beliefs, mostly around myself, my appearance, etc. And even if I got myself to feel really good early in the day by doing any of the general feel better-processes, as soon as I go out in my day and something causes me to focus on my appearance, I suddenly catch myself feeling bad, and it threw my out of the vortex. And it's such a subject that is hard to "ignore" in my day to day life. So I acknowledge that at some point, I would like to find a better feeling belief about that subject specifically , so that it would no longer throw my out of the vortex anytime I focus on that subject in my day to day life.

Here are the post (in 3 parts):

Though, another technique for "permanently feel better" about a specific subject, that I have heard Abraham talk about in some videos, is a way that would never require you to even look at the unwanted end of the subject.
And that is to get Inside the vortex any way you can, and try to stay there for as long as you can so you're feeling stable inside the vortex.
And then from there, try to "activate" the subject that used to be troubling to you, but from that place of inside the vortex, laying new pipes on that subject from inside the vortex, for a short while, and then go back to appreciating other things or milk to stay inside the vortex.

And if you do that many times, you will have essentially dragged that previously troubling subject into the vortex, and in that way, have also accomplished the "permanently shifting that subject" into a good feeling place, just like the "clean up"-processes are made for, but never once had to go outside the vortex to do so. For me that sounds like an interesting technique.
That approach isn't necessarily "better" than the other, and there's no right or wrong, and everyone can have their preferences.

Just have to remember that you want to spend most of your days inside the vortex. Spend as much time in there as possible.
And I have been spending most of my days outside the vortex, even if it's not far outside. But I definitively want to do my best now to use my focus differently and find ways to get inside the vortex, in any way! And you're right that I want to be reaching for Appreciation, Distraction, Grid-work to do so. The opposite of "trying to work things out". But chill more and relax more and gently steer my focus more towards what I love, what I appreciate, and doing that more and more. I'll probably post updates in my "practicing"-thread eventually on how it has been going

Thank you again so much for your wonderful reply

[Paradise-on-Earth]

I LOVE how dedicated, open and WISE you are, Simon!

You absolutely GET this stuff! ...And I think, we'r really both saying the same: There is a tool for everyone, everywhere, all the time, and if it is sometimes to just "give up" and let it all go. (Actually, I do this a lot!)

We came to experience and sift and sort and choose what speaks to us most... even if others think there would be a better way. We will grow, and prefer different approaches in different time. Which all is perfect! Slipping is ok. Not getting it for a LONG time is ok Not getting it at all, in all our life is also ok... as our soul doesn't judge any experience as "less than". No creation is ever complete, so we will have endlessly time to "get it".

We can't get it wrong- I find this so soothing!! While I really prefer to have the joy and the peace and the ease in my life all the time... so is the theory, at least. But then, when there comes an adventure that passionately calls me, I tend to bolt and run-through, because I soooo LIKE taking the chance...

once more, it's such a pleasure to "dance with you"!!

[simon]

We came to experience and sift and sort and choose what speaks to us most... even if others think there would be a better way. We will grow, and prefer different approaches in different time. Which all is perfect! Slipping is ok. Not getting it for a LONG time is ok Not getting it at all, in all our life is also ok... as our soul doesn't judge any experience as "less than". No creation is ever complete, so we will have endlessly time to "get it".

We can't get it wrong- I find this so soothing!!

I agree. It's so nice to know that we will never get it done and we can never get it wrong If I don't manage to line up with all my desires in this lifetime, that's absolutely fine, the day I "croak", I will receive the benefit of everything I asked for in this lifetime. Then I will in one sweep become a match to all my expansion. It's so nice to know and it makes me realize that all really is well