My Diary

[abrahammer117]

Day 30: 3 or 4 x 15 minute sound meditations a day
Day 5/90: DECISION; Hot then cold shower first thing every morning, no YouTube, no online news or football, no work stuff out of work
Day 4/90: DECISION: Up at 6am. walk 3 miles every morning before breakfast
Day 4/? One meal a day
Reminder: Any sense of urgency or hurry to improve anything works against me
Reminder: Consider home, relationship, finances and body as one

focusing on wanted side of things:
A really lovely thing happened yesterday - in it's briefest terms, I got a strong impulse to ask someone I never normally speak to, to check out this big piece I'd made in the shop as she might like it. She then spotted a problem with it and offered a solution I never would have thought of and it worked great. It feels great to remember this as it activates that belief that there is such wisdom in our impulses when we feel well.

I feel like I've really crossed a tipping point now where contentment might actually be my baseline. My mind is SO much quieter and just don't feel that panic to make things happen anymore.

My belief that I get what I think about, and can use this in a positive way, is increasing. It's getting easier just let my mind drift onto nice things and now that LOA is responding to that and amending future experiences.

Over a month ago I was in a good mood and negotiated a really nice big printing order by text on my way home from work on a Friday.
I went into the Saturday with a feeling of relaxation, that there's no pressure at all to take a lot today because this order had already come in.
That day then turned out to be one of our best Saturday's ever. That's my favourite reference point right now for how feeling easy and secure attracted that. I realised a week ago that the memory of getting that initial order is a really easily accessible way to feel some relief about finances. I don't feel like I had that before. Anyways, this week - I did get a really nice printing order out the blue.

[abrahammer117]

Day 1/? : DECISION: 2 x 15 min sound meditations each morning sat in a chair
Day 7/90: DECISION; Hot then cold shower first thing every morning, no YouTube, no online news or football, no work stuff out of work
Day 6/90: DECISION: Up at 6am. walk 3 miles every morning. One meal a day
Reminder: Any sense of urgency or hurry to improve anything works against me
Reminder: Consider home, relationship, finances and body as one

focusing on wanted side of things:
When I do my sound of silence meditations I find they are most effective if I'm sat in a hard chair. I've often done them cross legged on my sofa but there's something way less conducive to good meditation there. I've added this to my 'decisions' to stick to the chair.
All for today

[abrahammer117]

Day 1: 3 or 4 sound meditations a day. Preferably on a chair. Enjoy the feeling of relief.
Reminder: Any sense of urgency or hurry to improve anything works against me

So! I'd like to acknowledge that I like the drama, or data gathering maybe, of really getting into the downstream flow of things - and then getting really upstream again. Oooh it's like that there is part of me which says 'I like the feeling of getting lost and then finding my way again' or more perhaps .... oooh this is crazy to write but feels on point..... 'If I don't practice the skill of getting lost then finding my way, I might lose that skill, so next time I get lost it might be permanent'. Interesting. Or! As Abraham Hicks put it once - I want that final 'triumph'

I'd define 'finding my way' as regularly experience liking the emotional relief of meditation and letting that be my guide (downstream)
and losing my way as liking the upstream feeling of trying hard and letting my noisy mind be my guide (upstream)

[abrahammer117]

Day 2: 3 or 4 sound meditations a day. Preferably on a chair. Enjoy the feeling of relief.
Reminder: Any sense of urgency or hurry to improve anything works against me

average mood still improving! I feel like my downs are now almost deliberate investigations, showing myself how they just can't take hold and how easy they are to release.

I'm feeling better about my girlfriend that I have in ages - which really means, I'm feeling better about myself when I'm with her. This is very exciting

[abrahammer117]

Day 3: 3 or 4 sound meditations a day. Preferably on a chair. Enjoy the feeling of relief.
Reminder: Any sense of urgency or hurry to improve anything works against me

So! Average mood still improving and as always I can feel my beliefs gradually shifting alongside this.

[abrahammer117]

Day 4: 3 or 4 sound meditations a day. Preferably on a chair. Enjoy the feeling of relief.
Day 1: have a segment intending notebook with me all the time
Reminder: Any sense of urgency or hurry to improve anything works against me
Reminder: What do I most want from writing here? to feel uplifted by it

So! I left my 'Ask and it is given' at work yesterday, so this morning I picked up where I left off on the 'law of attraction' book. I read the chapter on segment intending and it felt relieving to read. Particularly taking that time to really feel into the question 'what do I MOST want from this segment'. That question really helps move from muddled into clear. Hicks made a great point that really applies to me that it's easy have your mind full of different intentions which stops any single one gaining momentum.

When I got back to the flat I asked that question about the 90mins I had before work and it was so helpful. Ooooh the examples in the book were super helpful to - as some people might turn this into a to do list e.g. 'prepare breakfast for girlfriend'. whereas when I wrote this item it was - enjoy preparing a loving breakfast for my girlfriend to enjoy when she wakes up' . Which not only felt good but I then immediately got the thought that I'd like to leave her a nice note with it too (which I rarely do lol). Also! Because I felt better about preparing it, I did it much earlier than I normally do which has given me time to rectify the fact we only have one egg in the fridge

so! I've bought an A6 size notebook to keep in my pocket and will play with this more.

....

also! I've noticed that making resolutions like 'no Youtube' etc. never pan out so well in the long run. In Hicks terms I'm giving attention to unwanted there or not being clear on what it is I actually do really want. What I'm finding with segment intending is that once I get a little bit focused on what I'm wanting them I'd not drawn to things like YouTube as it is in no way serving what I'm wanting

[abrahammer117]

Day 5: 3 or 4 sound meditations a day. Preferably on a chair. Enjoy the feeling of relief.
Reminder: segment intending - what do I want most from this segment?
Reminder: Any sense of urgency or hurry to improve anything works against me
Reminder: What do I most want from writing here? to feel uplifted by it
Reminder: Never ever a need to worry about negative thoughts as the buffer of time allows more than enough chance to adjust

So! Yesterday I attracted a customer who spent a large amount of money on framing with me and he's an early retired company owner who winters in Bali and talks about trusting the universe That has to be a good sign!
It always feels good to repeat the fundamentals of where I'm at. I am meditating daily and almost always feel some amount of emotional relief when I do. So it's a fact that I am gradually releasing more and more resistance and so I can look forward to a gradually improving future. AND when I really consider that there is no urgency or hurry to improve anything (particularly finances) , that feels very very nice.
Dare I say it - I might even be appreciating the contrast.

[abrahammer117]

Day 6: 3 or 4 sound of silence meditations a day. Preferably on a chair. Enjoy the feeling of relief.
Day 1: 10pm every night, 20 mins sound of silence meditation on prayer stool
Reminder: segment intending - what do I want most from this segment?
Reminder: Any sense of urgency or hurry to improve anything works against me

Beliefs still shifting in a good direction. The most important belief that's growing as always is that reaching for relief is the absolute best thing for everything. I'm definitely feeling more alive. Really enjoyed reading 'Ask and it is given' for an hour this morning in a coffee shop - the hour went by so quick! The chapter I was up to resonated so well as it mentioned the huge value in finding the SLIGHTEST improvement in how you feel - and this is what I'm finding as my most valuable basis, 15 mins sound of silence meditation reliably elicits a slight improvement in how I feel - and slight is huge!!

I like remembering that meditation is one of the processes in ask and it is given - and it's the only process which it says to be great no matter where you currently at in the emotional scale. So perfect for daily practice!

I felt proud last night to get the impulse to go and meditate in the other room for 20 mins on my stool and was really nice. Even thought my gf supports me fully I used to feel a bit funny about leaving her to do this - but I'd like to keep this up. It was a much nicer sit then when I've been meditating sat in bed before sleeping

[abrahammer117]

Day 7: 3 or 4 sound of silence meditations a day. Preferably on a chair. Enjoy the feeling of relief.
Day 2: 10pm every night, 15 mins sound of silence meditation on prayer stool
Reminder: segment intending - what do I want most from this segment?
Reminder: Any sense of urgency or hurry to improve anything works against me

so! average mood still creeping up
At work - segment intending is having a huge impact. Any time I feel discouraged , confused about what to do , restless etc ; it's really obvious that I haven't settled into a clear sense of what I want MOST from the segment I'm in. In fact the last two days I've kinda enjoyed playing with letting myself hangout in a slightly negative space - knowing that I could turn it around if I wanted, but don't have to cos well-being still has my back.

Read 'Ask and it is given' again for an hour this morning. So much fun to read it when I'm in this better place. I even cautiously enjoyed a little rampage of appreciation

[abrahammer117]

Day 9: 3 or 4 sound of silence meditations a day. Preferably on a chair. Enjoy the feeling of relief.
Day 4: 10pm every night, 15 mins sound of silence meditation on prayer stool
Reminder: segment intending - what do I want most from this segment?
Reminder: Any sense of urgency or hurry to improve anything works against me
Reminder: I am doing extremely well, I am loved and adored
Reminder: Vortex manifestations occur when you move from hopefulness into +ve belief
So! Average mood still improving. Still the ups and downs and the ups feel like 'oooh not felt like this is a long time!'
Sound of silence meditation is still proving a wonderful wonderful base practice. Practicing really listening to that single sound shows me how that feels compared to really listening to the momentum of my mind. After this morning's meditation, had a lovely 'all is well feeling'