I am an artist!

[Sheila86]

It doesn't matter whether I will ever reach my goal of being a full time artist. Today I would much rather reach for some resistance-free thoughts about my art making.

Who cares about making a career out of it. I get to experience the pure joy, fascination, thrill of playing with my art supplies right now! I loved how I discovered a new technique and just spend two days practically living in my studio. That was so much fun, I loved every minute of it! I love how there are tons of new projects waiting in my metaphorical pipeline, wanting to be created by me.
I don't care about success, I care about spending joyful me-time in my studio.
I don't care about views or likes on Insta, I care about connecting with my creativity and experiencing the sweet sweet flow of the creative process.
I don't care about creating "the right art", I care about the magic and wonder of a piece slowly emerging.
I don't care about "making it" in the art world, I care about establishing a routine of art making in my life. A time to play, wonder, express myself, falling in love with the process.
I just f*ucking love art! Not only am I admiring painters, also actors, dancers, performers of any kind, musicians. I just LOVE it. I was born with this ability to deeply appreciate and FEEL art.
So, I don't care about being the best selling artist, I care about the hours of my lifetime I get to spend in the studio. The paint on my fingers, my studio all messy and littered because I am so deep in the flow, feeling thrilled, eager and being absolutely in the moment.
I think this is what famous artists mean when they say it is not about selling art, but it is actually about creating it.

[Sheila86]

I am very glad that I am experiencing great breakthroughs in my technique. My work has improved a lot in the last weeks.
I feel much more confident.
I am really glad that I am so aware of what aspects of my art making still need improvement. For me this is making sources to paint from on the computer. I suck at that... I am happy to take on the challenge and sink my little artist's teeth in it. And in the process of that I get to learn a lot. I get to learn to be more patient and face my fears of failure.
I look forward to challenge myself and have break through after break through. I love the idea of evolving.
I have a great working ethic. I paint a lot, and I ALWAYS enjoy it. I think I also had a break through there. I used to think it is impossible to paint this much and now you kind of can't keep me from it.

I want to effort less, and play more.
I want to stop thinking about it so much and just enjoy the process of painting. Gosh, I love that.
I want to make sources from a place of eagerness, interest, fun and playfulness. Being open to whatever kind of image emerges.
I want to stretch myself with a mindset of curiosity of how far I can still get.
I want to let experiences and opportunities flow to me.
I want to paint from a place of thankfulness, eagerness and fun.
I want to trust that my artistic career is just where it needs to be. That all is unfolding.
I want to feel that my art is good enough. That it inspires people. That it moves them.
I want to be paid generously for my work. I want to feel the love and satisfaction and joy of being paid for my artwork. I want to earn more money from my artwork than I am doing in my "muggle job" right now.
I want to feel that I am living out my purpose. This feeling of immense rightness.

[Sheila86]

I still have some resistance to sooth regarding my artistic life. So let's have some fun

-I would like the whole thing to be more about fun. I love painting! There is no need to hurry or be impatient, I have ALL OF MY LIFE to do this. Really why hurry?

-I bought a new shelf for my studio and re-organized a lot of my supplies. I love how tidy and pretty the studio looks. I arranged all the ink bottles very beautifully on the shelf and now I feel like I am in an art store whenever I enter the studio I love that. It feels like possibilities to chose from, like being professional.

- I am SO inspired by Dimitra Milan's painting! I will share some of her works below in this post for you to enjoy. I love her brushwork! I love how dreamy her paintings are. How every brushstroke is achieved with mindfulness, presence and the goal to create beauty. I really love how she is all about beauty. I love the thought of purposely bringing beauty into the world. I love how great it must feel to create such artwork. It must feel like presence, love, clarity, confidence, flow, connection.
I love how she lets the paint drip over the canvas. It feels so freeing, light, easy, subtle, feminine.

- She sells her paintings for up to 15k. I LOVE that actually! I am very fascinated by the fact that high quality art sells at such high price points. I think she deserves it. I think her work is worth it. I love how happy, proud, joyful and abundant her collectors must feel.

- I remember how it felt when I sold pieces. I loved the exchange for money. But what I loved even more is that I brought beauty and value into the world and that I was able to make something that makes others happy.

- I really wish to produce the most beautiful pieces in the whole world. I want my paintings to be stunning, beautiful, uplifting, inspiring, and breathtaking.

[Sheila86]

I feel like I am reaching a new level of honesty with myself.
I DO want to be an artist. I DO want to create lots and lots of beautiful paintings. Which fascinate people. Which please me. Which make me feel proud, accomplished. BUT I am efforting way too much. I am struggling too much. I have no idea why there is so much resistance in me regarding this part of my life.
So in the last weeks I took some steps back, refrained from painting, to let some of the resistance ease away a bit. I feel that this was necessary and helped me a lot to relax more.
I want to paint out of pure joy, out of eagerness. I want to paint because I have a vision and I am happily working my way towards it. Trust instead of urgency. Enjoying the process instead of forcing it.

If you knew everything was really all right,
and that it always has a happy ending,
then you would not feel trepidacious about your future.

Everything IS really so very all right!
If you could believe and trust that,
then immediately everything would automatically
and instantly become all right.

Abraham Hicks, Silver Springs, MD, 4/11/99

I am allowing myself to believe that I don't have to worry about a single thing.
Everything is all right.
I am free to paint whenever I want, whatever I want. I am also free to not paint at all.
I can make a career out of it, or I can do it in my free time.
It does not matter, the universe knows the perfect unfolding, the perfect way just for me. It really is all right.
I am being guided to my true destiny.
What am I even saying, my true destiny is happiness anyway.
So I get happy, and than I paint. I get happy and than I think about my artwork. I get happy and than I do stuff and follow the impulses.
Because being happy is what this really is about.

[Sheila86]

I want to write a little about resistance—the power and beauty of letting it go.

Sheila86 in resistance-mode:

I feel a lot of resistance when it comes to my artwork—not so much about painting itself, but about everything around it. I worry about creating a series of polished pieces instead of just enjoying the process of painting one piece. I worry about marketing, about positioning myself as an artist. Mostly, I feel uneasy about choosing a specific style and artist persona for efficient marketing because what if it's the wrong choice and I regret it later? My dreams of making incredible paintings, building a successful artist career, earning recognition, and making money are stifling me. I've created around 300 reference images to paint from, and I hate all of them, because none feel like they could be "the one" to solve my problems. I go to my husband and complain that I'll never be a real artist. And, most importantly, I don't paint.

I realized this is resistance. A couple of weeks ago, I stepped back and just let it go.

Enter Sheila86 in resistance-free-mode:

After letting it all go, I found myself in a different space, where none of this mattered. I felt free because I could simply focus on whatever I felt like painting. Everything else would sort itself out with time. You can’t imagine how freeing it was to paint whatever I wanted, knowing that each choice was the right one. I felt “divinely supported,” if I may put it that way. Every source I chose to paint was the right one. Every decision I made for marketing was the right one. Best of all, I felt that the more I painted with joy and excitement coursing through me, the more I did me, the more people would love my work, and the more my career would grow.

Doesn’t that sound wonderful and magnificent? Being an Aber is to know, deep in your bones, that the world works like this. To prioritize this state of freedom and love, to let the Universe handle the rest—that's what it's about. I painted three pieces at record speed! I even tried a new medium that I’d wanted to explore for months. It was exhilarating.

And then my mother called.

Sheila back in resistance-mode:

My mother called to tell me how much she loved my new paintings. She said they were truly “me” and that she was thrilled I’d found my artistic style. But she also offered advice on how to improve my composition. I value her input, as she’s both highly creative and very business-savvy. I knew from experience that her advice would make my pieces more marketable. But urrrgh…that threw me back into a loop of self-criticism. I started feeling critical about my sources again. I stopped painting again and I felt defeated. The pressure to create "the right kind of" art returned, and I was right back to worrying about the audience instead of my own joy.

That was about a week ago. Since then, I’ve stepped back, realizing once again that I need to let it go. I’ll keep her advice in the back of my mind, or maybe discard it, I am still unsure, but anyways I’m planning to just paint today with a source that excites me and to just be in the moment, enjoying the process.

Being aware of where I am on the vibrational scale is such a valuable skill to develop. That’s why I wanted to share this experience. It helps in every area of life to become aware of your energy and to first take the steps to raise it. Relax, enjoy, trust, and just be without worrying about getting it "right" or pleasing others.

Be easy about this.
Be playful about it.
Don't work so hard at it.
Let your dominant intent to be to feel good, and if you don't feel good, then let your dominant intent be to feel relief.
Feel your way through it.
If you think your way through it, you can get off on all kinds of tangents.
If you feel your way through it, you can come quickly to your Core Energy, and when you do that only good can then flow to you.

-Abraham

[Sheila86]

I found this gem in the forum. A very epic quote by former forum member Hands in the Clay. (Thank you BlissTrix for sharing. )

If you want to be more "hands-on" about your money artist vibration, I suggest spending more time working on your resistance to your now than fantasies about what you want, because you've already created what you want and don't really need to "work" on that. You need to reduce the resistance you HAVE that's preventing what you want from showing up.

I still have a lot of resistance around the topic and want to play a bit...

Old story:
My artistic skills are not on the level I want them to be.
I am afraid people will judge my paintings and painting subjects.
I don't feel good enough.
My paintings are childish.
Fantasy art is not "real art". I will never get in the great galleries with my artwork.
I would like to work more freely, loosely but I don't know how.
I want to become a really great and successful artist but is not going fast enough.

New story (aka how source sees it):
I don't need to worry. I am on an ongoing journey of creative expansion. The more I become ME and the more I figure out how and what to paint, the more people will love it. Some might not, but I don't care about that. I already am an artist who sold several paintings, had several commissions and took part in many exhibitions. Actually, I sold pieces at every exhibition I did, sometimes multiple.
People WANT to buy art. I just have to put my art in front of people again. My artistic style and taste level are ever improving. Look at the beautiful art studio I have and the variety of supplies. I am really doing well. I just need to get posting again, without overthinking it. I like posting on Instagram. It is such a fascinating creative process which I adore as much as the painting itself. It does not matter if I start posting again as my artwork is on its current level. People will like me for my integrity and honesty. People don't want to see perfect superstars who are constantly on top of their game. They don't only want perfect paintings. They want to see real people on their journey. Like me
I feel like a good thing to support growth is to invite change. I feel an enticing, thrilling notion in my body at inspiring change. Going on Youtube or posting more videos on Insta. Improving my techniques. Not from a standpoint of force but rather because it feels so good, feels expanding. I like expansion. I like the feeling of stretching myself an becoming bigger. Exploring new terrain. I can be an artist-adventurer!

what people are NOT doing anywhere NEAR enough is HONEST, DEEP CONTEMPLATION OF THINGS, and HONEST, FEARLESS ASSESSMENT OF WHY THEY ARE DOING WHAT THEY ARE DOING, WHY THEY FEEL THE NEGATIVE EMOTION THAT THEY FEEL. They’re simply not practicing the Processes while keeping an ear to the ground about how they feel. Not asking themselves the real questions that come with contemplation, away from the hype of the world. They're in denial about their resistance. Migraines? You've got resistance. People being jerks to you? You've got resistance. Money problems? You've got resistance. Family crap? You've got resistance. Disease? You've got resistance. Car breakdowns? You've got resistance. Technological bugs all the time? You've got resistance. Lost luggage? You've got resistance.

Actually, I am fed up with resistance! I don't want it any more. I don't ever want to worry about it again or entertain any negative thought about it. I am shutting the door to all bad feeling thoughts right now. I kick them in their butt and throw them out of my mind!! Good bye, R.I.P negativity!

Okay, now I feel better!!!


Artwork by Miranda Gamel

[Sheila86]

I care about playing with my art supplies.
I care about having fun with the process.
I care about the thrill of the experiment to try new processes of making art.
I care about the wonderful feeling of being in the flow when I do it.
I care about doing only what feels good and is exciting or fun to me in my art practice.
I care about the wonderful, mind blowing feeling of fresh inspiration hitting me.

What I don't care about:
Struggle, doubts, overthinking. The unholy trinity.
I demand thee to leave my art studio and never return again!


Beautiful artwork by Mia Pensa

[Sheila86]

Today I tried a new technique just for fun because I found it on Insta and it looked fun. I would have never tried that before, I basically drew a cute Manga girl on my I pad, printed her out and colored her traditionally with gouache paint. So much fun!!! So easy, so relaxing, and *gasp* I actually love the result!! Before today I have been sooo serious about finding a "real art style" that I would have scoffed at doing something so easy. And I would also have imagined the European art scene, that unanimously agrees that Manga and Anime are not art, scoffing at my work. Now I don't give a ****...

Resposting this over here because IT FEELS SO GOOOOOOD