Some Gridwork for today:
Ease and Fun and Playfulness und Trust and Letting goooooo
Specifically Negative:
I don't feel well, I have a head ache. This week really took it's toll on me emotionally. All the ups and downs and the fears of having messed up, of things not working out despite all our best efforts. I am sick and tired of waiting and things being out of my control. It feels hard to concentrate. I am in a constant state of procrastination and hiding myself away from the world. I am tired. And I am mad at myself that I am in such a state. It is unbearable, I want my high vibe back.
Generally negative:
OK I am tired and have trouble concentrating. Times are not easy. I am not at my best energy.
Generally positive:
As I wrote the words below it occured to me that I am going through a medical treatment at the moment that is hard on my body and also affecting my mind. It is okay to feel bad at times like that. It is not bad to need rest. Resting is good. Real resting, without any of the guilt shit, is actually a really high vibe activity. I like realizing that my life situation is not really the problem, it's me being in resistance again. That's okay, I can let go of that, in time. I like talking myself up the vibrational scale. I like knowing that I can just rest and let that be okay. After all, I manifest with my vibration and not with my effort. I like that I can come back to these teachings. I like knowing that the other, better feeling end of the stick is always there.
Yes, that is a great thought!! The other, better feeling end of the stick is always there. Isn't that wonderful??
Specifically positive:
I like writing to amp up my vibration.
I like the feeling of ease spreading through my body.
I love the feeling of releasing resistance. It's pure relief.
Relief is a wonderful thing. Relief, relief, relief.
I like going to bed and falling asleep.
I like lying in my bed. It's so warm and comfy.
I like the early parts of the day when I get up and its bright and my energy is still there and I get to paint and watch YT videos.
I like my hubby
He smells really nice
I like how nice the people at the clinic were to me today. I felt very well-treated and like they all cared for me. I even made jokes with the nice doctor and we had a laugh together. Everyone wished me all of the best, and I felt they were sincere.
I like relaxing into feeling okay. Soothing myself.
I like the thought that it is about my mood. Not my actions, not my plans, not my results - but my mood.
I can do things to get in a better mood
right now Isn't that empowering. I can take a bubble bath, or just clean of the dishes, or listen to some up beat music. So many things are available to me at every moment that have the power to change my mood. An abundance of mood changers. Mood elevators. Readily available at my fingertips. I could watch a movie, I could bake a cake. The possibilities are endless...
Guilt free. I am sick and the wonderful world of fanfiction helps me relax and recover, so I consider it medicine.
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I feel like I am doing this for myself, to feel better, to heal old wounds in my self-image, to be proud of myself.
