How to change expectations?

[Sonja]

Hello everyone,

You always get what you expect.

I understand that.

But how can I change my expectations?

I spent several weeks trying to change my inner state by using affirmations before going to sleep. Unfortunately, this didn’t make things better; it made them worse. I feel like I approached it with a sledgehammer – that’s how the result feels, at least. I think I didn’t have the right emotions behind it, hmm.

The biggest source of sadness for me, though, is my expectations. There are a few things I really want in my life, but a part of me just can’t fully embrace expecting these things with joy.

With some things, it works very well. For example, I was waiting for a tax refund. I was pretty sure I would get it. I expected with near certainty that I would receive it – and that’s exactly what happened.

I’ve been looking for a new apartment in a specific area for over a year. A part of me knows I COULD manifest this "castle" just as easily as a button. But another part seems to have a completely different expectation. It even got to the point where I couldn’t view an apartment recently because I suddenly felt physically unwell.

I’m sure that if I joyfully expected this new apartment in this lovely area with nice neighbors, I could move in very quickly! How can I change my expectations?

Thanks for reading

[Paradise-on-Earth]

Hello everyone,

welcome, Sonja!

You always get what you expect.

I understand that.

But how can I change my expectations?

When your expectations match up with your path to allow them ("to get them"), they FEEL GOOD. And when the don't feel good, they will lead you not to your fulfillment in getting what you desire. Because, source ("God") and your desires are one, as source immedeately embraces your desires as soon as life-experience causes you to have them. Aka, Source is the evolved "who you really are" WITH all the fulfillment of all your fulfilled desires! And when you don't catch up/align with source- this further evolved stance of you-, your inner guidance:Your emotions, show you that you are off.

The emotional inner guidance is always knowing where you are, in regards to the fulfilling of your desires. It's purpose is to give you knowledge of where to focus, so that you FEEL GOOD and get your stuff, and are close or even merged with the divine part of yourself.
So it follows, that you must change your focus to feel BETTER (or even really good) when you feel off- until you feel at least relief, right? And you do that "in any way that works for YOU" (Abe).

You could chill out, relax and meditate.
You could be nicer to yourself.
You could let go of torturing yourself with doubt, perfectionism, judgement or impatience.
You could do something that would feel really joyful, instead!
You could appreciate what is EASILY appreciatable for you.
You could watch funny movies or listen to great music.
You could workout or dance or take a walk in nature.
You could pet your cat!
You could enjoy unfolding in a hobby, have fun with friends, satisfying sex- WHATEVER works FOR YOU! It is totally ok if it's babysteps, indeed, better you do small babysteps that really are fun, than trying to jump over a roof so to speak, and not "making it" and braking your legs.

Abe say, they have only 1 answer- and it is: "Get happy. In ANY WAY you can!"

I spent several weeks trying to change my inner state by using affirmations before going to sleep. Unfortunately, this didn’t make things better; it made them worse. I feel like I approached it with a sledgehammer – that’s how the result feels, at least. I think I didn’t have the right emotions behind it, hmm.

Exactly. When you try to override negative emotions with pushing against them- be it with affirmations, faking, or even trying to do virtual reality, they ALWAYS backlash, as the vibrations don't match up! Start slowly with something that feels as relief, or easily believable.

The biggest source of sadness for me, though, is my expectations. There are a few things I really want in my life, but a part of me just can’t fully embrace expecting these things with joy.

To not want a lot is not as virtuous as you might think, and as society has taught us. Because when you allow yourself to love and easily appreciate, you WILL desire a lot! Life makes you do that. You wish the best for your loved ones.You wish the best FOR YOU! You want to explore and to care and to play and have fun! So,allow yourself to enjoy SOMUCH MORE than you did before: That is the first step on this road.

With some things, it works very well. For example, I was waiting for a tax refund. I was pretty sure I would get it. I expected with near certainty that I would receive it – and that’s exactly what happened.

Yes, that is the ease you are "supposed" to feel with everything.It is easy, when you have no resistances!

I’ve been looking for a new apartment in a specific area for over a year. A part of me knows I COULD manifest this "castle" just as easily as a button. But another part seems to have a completely different expectation. It even got to the point where I couldn’t view an apartment recently because I suddenly felt physically unwell.

Never ever lie to yourself about how you really feel! That is so important. Learn to embrace you wherever you truly ARE. Stop scolding yourself that you should be further. You are where you are, AND THAT IS TOTALLY OK!
If you don't do that, you can't move on, because you then take your unhealed resistances with you. Embracing yourself instead, soothing yourself, doing what it takes to heal, opens the door for a better energy.

Start to ENJOY the small steps, be proud about yourself when you loved more, allowed yourself more desires, and enjoyed life- and be it just for a few minutes. It will add up, and become your new setpoint of vibration. And then, better, and better- until you EASILY expect the best!