book wrote: ↑Fri Dec 20, 2024 8:12 am
So your marriage of more than a decade years is in danger and you are doing massages, acupuncture and lists of positive aspects to deal with the situation? It seems like you are trying to feel good,
instead of trying to feel better.
Answer: I think am I trying to feel better. Keep in mind this disconnection of intimacy has been happening for 12 years of the 26 we have been together. It's just recently that she has decided we are not on the same page and she wants a separation, so I have been trying to feel better for years. Perhaps the hardest part if the reality of the whole situation as I was focusing on the better feeling thoughts around the relationship and what was going well instead of what was missing so much which I had come to terms with. I have to feel better in order to keep my attitude high as what I do for work and a living is all about mindset vs showing up.
I'd imagine that after the events you mentioned in your post, you would feel some level of anger, blame or disappointment. And what you are doing is distracting yourself instead of taking the topic and molding it into a better feeling place by reaching for relief. That is why it is hard for you to stay on the higher flying disk. Sit down and write out your feelings about the situation and then do the "which thought feels better?" exercise on it from ask and it is given. That will take a maximum of 20 minutes and it will be very productive since it actually shifts your vibration on this topic that gives you a lot of issues right now. Or you could do a focus wheel, that also fits this situation better than distracting yourself.
Answer: I feel a bunch of anger, and I am just coming to a realization I can not make someone else feel another way, honestly I do feel that on her side she is depressed and looking at her perspective that the whole world is different than her, I am not on the same page - however neither is everyone else in her experience. She can feel like this but I have chosen not to try and change how she feels. She also is tired all of the time and I think she needs the space. In actuality we are amicable and friends just room mates, no sex for 12+ years so I am just wanting to get aligned with my value and who I am. I want to raise my play, energy and vibration more as it serves be best to feel better feeling thoughts. Its definitely a challenge in a situation like the one that I am in. Also with a family involved I am just focusing on the positive aspects..
It's like you are in a forest that is burning around you and you are just focusing on a patch of grass untouched by the flames, instead of putting out the fire.
Answer: What are you saying? Is there a better way for me to look at this?
You need to make peace with the situation, and AFTER you did that, will these things you mention be truly useful.
Answer: How can I tell, I feel in a peaceful state, I wish things worked out different or she wanted to shift her focus but then I am looking at the reflect instead of my mind, my energy and better feeling thoughts I am striving towards.
I am looking for suggestions to feel better around this when someone you care about is looking at all of the things they do not like
Abraham talked about this before, and Jenny Lee's advice is spot on. Basically they say to imagine the kind of interactions you want to have with them BEFORE you meet them, and try to see their vortex versions and focus on that more.
YES... Wouldn't that be nice!!