My Diary

[abrahammer117]

Day 83: posting here. Main guideline, focus on what's wanted with scant attention to unwanted
Stage 3; Day 3: Dopamine fasting until 9.45am every morning. ( good activities: sitting in silence, reading, exercise, meditation)
Day 11: Tim Ferris slow carb diet (as much as I can)
Day 4: Morning routine, cold shower / breakfast / Ab Hicks meditation / reading / no coffee
Day 4: 5 minutes jogging twice a day. Once in morning and once at start of evening.
Day 2: Morning reading, 15 mins fiction, 15 mins Ab Hicks. Just before sleep, 10 mins fiction 10 mins Ab Hicks
Day 2/3: Days without YouTube
Reminder: Good things happen to me
Reminder: Don't say 'I want to see more money', say instead 'I want to feel my financial well-being'
Reminder: When worry pops up - laugh at it!

Quick post today - average mood still creeping up. Realising I'm actually feeling self-appreciation a lot of the time now, forgot what that felt like!
The whole business and finances area looks much much more fun than it used to

[spiritualcookie]

That bad feeling voice in my head which says believing this is a bad idea - I'm taking Abs advice and laughing at it and it's helping me tip into enjoying the good feeling of believing this more and more

Laughing is helpful
Soothing self-talk always helps me too.

If the bad-feeling voice in your head is your ego, trying to protect you by making sure you have enough money, maybe it's worried because it doesn't want you doing anything silly like stopping sensible earning options because of "silly unrealistic beliefs" - Perhaps you can calm it down by addressing its fears, and soothing it.

eg saying things like:

"Don't worry, I'm not giving up my sensible work options. I'm just open to MORE avenues for abundance. I'm not replacing the 'safe' routes. You'll be safe. You'll be ok. I'm looking out for you. Believing in this Abe stuff is only adding additional possibilities; it's not taking away anything. If this Abe stuff works, it can only add to us in a positive way".

[abrahammer117]

That bad feeling voice in my head which says believing this is a bad idea - I'm taking Abs advice and laughing at it and it's helping me tip into enjoying the good feeling of believing this more and more

Laughing is helpful
Soothing self-talk always helps me too.

If the bad-feeling voice in your head is your ego, trying to protect you by making sure you have enough money, maybe it's worried because it doesn't want you doing anything silly like stopping sensible earning options because of "silly unrealistic beliefs" - Perhaps you can calm it down by addressing its fears, and soothing it.

eg saying things like:

"Don't worry, I'm not giving up my sensible work options. I'm just open to MORE avenues for abundance. I'm not replacing the 'safe' routes. You'll be safe. You'll be ok. I'm looking out for you. Believing in this Abe stuff is only adding additional possibilities; it's not taking away anything. If this Abe stuff works, it can only add to us in a positive way".

Thanks SpiritualCookie.
It's definitely a voice of self protection. Feels good to read the soothing self talk
I grew up as the youngest in a family where everyone was hostile and I think my main psychological protection was to be hostile to myself first in my mind.
So soothing self talk looks dangerous to my mind, but once soothed it's great.
Have you heard of the Control dramas from Celestine prophecy?

[abrahammer117]

Day 84: posting here. Main guideline, focus on what's wanted with scant attention to unwanted
Day 5: Morning routine, cold shower / breakfast / Ab Hicks meditation / reading / no coffee. Dopamine fasting until 9.45am
Day 3/4: Days without YouTube

Focusing on wanted side of things... In general, I'd like my average mood to keep creeping up as always.
I'm doing really well at catching negative emotion in the early stages and believing in relaxing.
I'd really like to keep moving in the direction of less cheap dopamine hits and more relaxed presence with things.

[spiritualcookie]

I grew up as the youngest in a family where everyone was hostile and I think my main psychological protection was to be hostile to myself first in my mind.
So soothing self talk looks dangerous to my mind, but once soothed it's great.
Have you heard of the Control dramas from Celestine prophecy?

hm trying to get my head around how soothing self talk can look dangerous. Do you mean like it's a ploy to soften you and get your defences down before some punch is thrown and then you'll be caught unguarded? Even if it's you yourself doing the self-soothing, and you who is in full control, so no punch will come, as long as you don't throw it? I guess then the work is to learn to trust yourself not to be hostile to yourself. I believe that's something that can be learned with practice. It's all habits. Unlearning old ones that don't serve us, and learning new ones that do. Easier said than done according to the habits I'm working on changing in myself! But I think it is possible!

I hadn't heard of the Control dramas. What made you think of them here? : )

[abrahammer117]

I grew up as the youngest in a family where everyone was hostile and I think my main psychological protection was to be hostile to myself first in my mind.
So soothing self talk looks dangerous to my mind, but once soothed it's great.
Have you heard of the Control dramas from Celestine prophecy?

hm trying to get my head around how soothing self talk can look dangerous. Do you mean like it's a ploy to soften you and get your defences down before some punch is thrown and then you'll be caught unguarded? Even if it's you yourself doing the self-soothing, and you who is in full control, so no punch will come, as long as you don't throw it? I guess then the work is to learn to trust yourself not to be hostile to yourself. I believe that's something that can be learned with practice. It's all habits. Unlearning old ones that don't serve us, and learning new ones that do. Easier said than done according to the habits I'm working on changing in myself! But I think it is possible!

I hadn't heard of the Control dramas. What made you think of them here? : )

Ah firstly , control dramas a simple and fun way of looking at human drama. There's the two active dramas 'interrogator' and the more intense 'intimidator' and the corresponding passive dramas 'aloof' and the more intense 'poor me'. (( coincidentally it parallels transactional analysis quite well )).
So if you're being interrogated it's easy to go into the aloof drama pattern. If you're being intimidated aloof won't cut it so you can go into the 'poor me, you're hurting me drama'. And vice versa. If someone's really quiet you might start interrogating them to get something out of them, if they are acting like you're hurting them it might piss you off. Anyways my childhood environment was dominantly interrogating and intimidating, so I adopted mental habits of aloofness and poor me. The poor me aspect required mentally beating myself up to put me in that 'safer space'.....

You're right on the why the soothing safe talk can looks dangerous - you're consciously doing something that feels like it would open you up to abuse.... but I would never argue that it's a good idea to avoid the soothing self talk . It just that sometimes I let those old patterns build up again and forget what it feels like to feel better and the good evidence that comes with it. That's why this time I really never want to let that happen again! And writing here every day has been super helpful keeping me on the wagon

[abrahammer117]

Day 85: posting here. Main guideline, focus on what's wanted with scant attention to unwanted
Day 6: Morning routine, cold shower / breakfast / Ab Hicks meditation / no coffee
5 Day Challenge. Day 1: Morning dopamine fasting until I start work at 10.30. Maximum 3 work email checks a day. No random internet at all.

So! As it happens I'm working every day this week Monday to Saturday. I'd really like to have a good 5 days of an increased dopamine fasting lifestyle.
Things like random internet, random email checks etc. I can really feel the negative impact they have on my well-being. When I get an impulse to check my email as a 'treat' if I look how the thought feels, it doesn't feel happy it feels tense. It's great that I'm spotting that more and more and that's going hand in hand with wanting to enjoy the 'little' things in life more and more. This morning I was excited to postpone anything electronics / internet related until I got into work at 10.30.
It's quite nice to spend the first 30 mins of work writing here. Ah to be self employed

[spiritualcookie]

Thanks for explaining : )

I'm glad writing here every day has been helping you stay on the wagon!

[abrahammer117]

Day 86: posting here. Main guideline, focus on what's wanted with scant attention to unwanted
Day 7: Morning routine, jog or gym / cold shower / breakfast / Ab Hicks meditation
5 Day Challenge. Day 2: Morning dopamine fasting until 10.00. Maximum 3 work email checks a day. No random internet at all.

Day 1 of the challenge went well. Lots of times I felt myself reaching for some random internet use of some kind and then stopped. I'm definitely enjoying the whole day a little more and a big big change is that when I went to bed I was in no way tired. Still nice to go to sleep but felt much more present and energetic than normal.
I also naturally woke up at 5.30am today and could tell I'd had my night's sleep.

Focusing on wanted... as usual I want my average mood to keep creeping up. I'd like to enjoy my mornings a little more, my day at work and my evenings a little more.

[abrahammer117]

Thanks for explaining : )

I'm glad writing here every day has been helping you stay on the wagon!

you're welcome!