Tara wrote: ↑Mon May 20, 2024 9:05 pm
“If he is a good soulmate, he will give you grief” somehow this does not resonate with me. Normally AH quotes always resonate…
What about Esther & Jerry relationship ? I know Jerry gave Esther grief when he departed but in general they had a magnificent time together…
This is what I hope I put in my vortex (the magnificent time together
)
Sorry for putting this here, but as I read your thread I feel good good and then I see this quote I sense there is a lot of contrast happening… which is also good… but it causes some wobble in me and worry about the future.. I personally want an easy, smooth, filled with love, Esther-Jerry kind relationship
Anyways, Thank you for sharing glimpses of your life POE
I know my reaction is about me not you
Nothing to worry about, dearest heart! I very much appreciate your openness and your question!
“If he is a good soulmate, he will give you grief” somehow this does not resonate with me. Normally AH quotes always resonate…
As always (and this is not just my take-away, but Abe said it as well) when something is not resonating with you, here and now, "it is not for you" -here and now. Which doesn't mean that it could not, in another time, or that it would be not globally "true"- it just doesn't serve YOU, NOW. So, maybe just drop it!
What about Esther & Jerry relationship ? I know Jerry gave Esther grief when he departed but in general they had a magnificent time together…
This is what I hope I put in my vortex (the magnificent time together
)
Abe have told the joyful and elated and wonderful stories of Esther and Jerry, but as well those that were full of contrast (as him, never giving her presents to any occasion, as she would have loved it. Or him, being too antsy and caught up in his notes, instead of just enjoying a certain moment or stroking her arms, as she would have loved. Or not "allow her" the rope-ladder that she would have wanted in the treehouse, or the flying fox, that she yearned for. Or not giving her "that little car that would make her happy for the afternoon"! It was a HUGE breakthrough for Esther when she- after Jerry had croaked- finally bought her little sportscar (the famous Audi R8 that she called Phantom). Jerry had clear ideas about what would be right and ok, and what would not be necessary, and Esther obliged- so much that she had no idea what to order in a restaurant after her mate wasn't there anymore. She had always eaten the same as he had ordered, and after a time of being lost, she found joy in figuring out her own preferences.
As we know: Contrast gives us the opportunity to grow, be it to get a backbone and stand up for what we really want, or to "just" finetune, to open up- in ways that we would probably not do if it wouldn't be unbearable otherwise. So, soulmates who are truly "mates of our souls" often "harrass" us into expansion and becoming clear about who we REALLY are. The more we are connected, the more they mean something to us, the more power there is in the relationship that MAKES us crack open to love unconditionally, release resistances, embrace newness, and give up the need to be right, instead of happy.
Abe quoted Esther, saying about someone she loved VERY much: "Too hard, too hard, too hard! But worth it."
AND, there can come a time when it is "too hard and NOT worth it!" I have not yet reached that threshold with my soulmate Wolfgang, but I reached it with other highly beloved people. And that is ok. We can unconditionally love- AND drop the physical relationship. This is a way to live Paradise on Earth, too.
Sorry for putting this here, but as I read your thread I feel good good and then I see this quote I sense there is a lot of contrast happening… which is also good… but it causes some wobble in me and worry about the future.. I personally want an easy, smooth, filled with love, Esther-Jerry kind relationship
No offense at ALL!
But a free-of contrast, easy and smooth relationship is what we call a "sunshine-lollipop-and-roses-relationship". Don't get me wrong! It feels reaaallly really nice, but what will you do if there comes a thunderstorm? Give up your relationship, because the sunshine is gone?
As I mentioned above, not even the huge Jerry-Esther-relationship wasn't soo smooth always. When you have 2 people, they WILL have different preferences, different setpoints, they come with differing resistances... and that goes not always that "smooth". And I don't think smoothness is always the very best for us! LOVE is. Unconditional love that even grows, when strong winds come. That makes you know your borders, and overcome them in awesome even more fulfilling ways.
Having a mate -as Jerry and Esther did, but me and Wolfgang as well, that stays there in LOVE, even when things are NOT AT ALL easy or smooth, when both have no clue how to move further, when circumstances seem to make our desires "impossible", when the world around you crashes, when one or both seem to grow into a different direction- but you just stay together with the focus set on LOVE and an rock-steady unconditional trust that there WILL be a way- then you become literally invincible. Each one for them Selves- and in that, Together.
And that is SO MUCH MORE than "easy and smooth"!
)
I know my reaction is about me not you 
nature just gives us this grounding, this firm roots into life, this stability from which it feels so easy to be happy, doesn't it? It is such a beautiful thing! 
OF COURSE you don't prepave grief! This would be such non-sense, literally!! 
Abe have talked a lot of it. 
