Appreciation of My Life

[Jenny Lee]

Morning Appreciation:

Before I slep last night, I read the novel again. I like this new manifestation and I like different perspectives different characters have. It is beautiful when I read every word out, in a musical sense. One of the main characters is extremely multi-faceted and complicated, and for sure he got one of the most dramatic Vortex because of his unique position and the stage he just got onto. He is a bit like walking on the ledge of a cliff and there are so many potential enemies sourronding him that the guardedness comes up, making him want to conquer them with military strength and weapons. He knows clearly that it is not a pleasing position but he doesn't think he has other choices. In this process of getting to a totally new place, he discovers an interesting person who now is still young and weak in terms of power and physicality, but his attitudes and his faked composure really caught one's attention. He can become a powerful being with this personality in the future, or he can die now without anyone knowing, and so he won't be the potential enemy. What a challenge! ...

It felt too hot in the cafe, and I walked out for some fresh air and coolness on the skin. The street views were too familiar to interest me at the time, but it could change if I put myself in a different place. If I was born in a village on the mountain, what would I feel at first sight of this city? If I was living in a place not having many green trees and flowers, what would I feel at first sight of this city? I notice that beside this broad road, there are several lines of very different trees, trees still green, trees with no leaves, trees with withered fruits looking like flowers/golden rain trees. There are unlimited combinations of which trees to decorate the roads, because this city is extremely suitable for all kinds of trees and flowers. The whole road can be fresh green, or look like a northern city if there are only deciduous trees. Part of the wide sidewalk were owned by stands--food stands, toy stands, jewelry stands, etc. I bought grilled cold noodles, I had eaten them before, but again, they were just alright but not impressive. If my niece comes, I think it would be more fun to come here.

It's fun to see how when I relax, the glitch of the laptop disappeared. The day before yesterday, I didn't find my umbrella, I remembered that I put it in the cafe, and I said to myself, "It must be still there. If it is not, no big deal." Then I let go, the next day, I discovered that it was actually at an obvious place in the room.

I appreciate myself for so many reasons. Now that I attract all the present things I love by my own, by my own molding the clay, I can fully love myself for this. I appreciate myself for getting clearer and clearer about what I desire and what are my preferences. I appreciate myself for attracting great freedom on a daily basis--I always have abundant free time to do what I like. I freely choose where to stay, where to walk, where to do my writing, etc. I appreciate myself for being stubborn in so many ways which allows me to not easily be negatively influenced by other people. I appreciate myself for attract teachings fit for me along the way because I had such a strong desire to know what the actual meaning of life and how I can live passionately--this desire kept on attracting matching teachings and methods to my life. I appreciate myself for attracting music and stories full of attractive emotions, feelings and atmospheres. I appreciate myself for doing the vibrational work to create the harmony in the family. I appreciate myself for...

[Jenny Lee]

I got onto the website and boom! I found a really satisfying novel to read, and I knew as I finished the first three paragraphs, this was something that matched a lot of my preferences. It's not like the first impression for other novels--It's alright, but something is missing. It's alright, but the scenes or the words the author applied were too predictable. Er, the character is too naive and I can't handle the way he/she speaks... When I read this one, my mind got focused, fully awake though it was after midnight. I was not in any hurry--yeah, I could read much faster, but this time I chose to read silently word by word, and I felt the beautiful rhythm. Sometimes, I stopped and said to myself, "What does this word/phrase mean?" Then I got onto the online dictionary and discovered that the word 镠珌 meant the golden ornament on the sheath of a sword. And when it touches the hard surface of something, it can give out a clear and sharp sound. The details brought me to the vivid scenes full of colors, shapes, sounds and human emotions. I read like this for one and a half hour and felt extremely satisfied.

I sat on the tall stool in the shopping mall, overlooking through the glass wall. People were coming in and out of the stores and a young couple was playing with each other. My coffee was on the left side, I pulled back my attention and got onto the writing app. Okay! There must be a breakthrough today. It was cold, he was injured on his knee, but nothing was more important than that he got there as fast as possible. There was fear of loss in his heart. He couldn't help imagining some worst case scenarios.. Words flew out smoothly, and then I thought to myself what about his injury? Within a minute, I decided that it was a slight injury and wouldn't cause anything serious, while it's also a thing to show how the other cared and loved. And based upon the personality traits, he didn't mention it, but after it was accidently known, he remembered that he still had a class the day after tomorrow, so as a responsible teacher, he'd better treat it efficiently now... One hour and twenty minutes later, I re-read and edited the new chapter, and I shared it online. I felt satisfied, refreshed and energized. I was happy. I milked the feelings and promised to myself that I would continually write, because writing like this so rings my bells.

Human emotions are extremely interesting. I was walking on the street, and the music app was playing one of Abe clips talking about jealousy. It resonated with me and I looped it. The HS already knew Abe teachings, so when he felt jealousy, there was difference between him and many other people. He was jealousy of others' alignment more than he felt injustice or that others deprived him of what he wanted. He knew if he was aligned he would get what he wanted. And also because he knew Abe teachings, he had another emotion which was guilt, because as a deliberate creator, he thought he should not get jealous of other people. While there are people who just believed that they were treated badly and that they were the victim of certain people like rich people, and why should they feel guilty... I nodded and resonated, and then felt two times of listening was enough for now. Soon I started listening to Abe talk about sports and competition/Abraham Hicks 2018 Setting new records in sports. This conversation was so meaningful and inspiring to me and of course I wanna enhance my memory and understanding of the contents... Like this, I spent at least one hour walking, listening, feeling, resonating and pre-paving by immersing myelf in Abe teachings.

...

[Jenny Lee]

I am fully present this time, with my little niece. She wore a brown shiny overcoat with a cute hat on top of which there are two rabbit ears. And the tips of the ears are light-blue colored. She has big eyes and a cute hat makes her eyes bigger and more beautiful, but she doesn't like wearing a hat. She has neat and clear shaped eyebrows, now a bit brown, and later they would definitely turn black. I softly smooth her eyebrows as she tries her best to stand by herself. She wants me to do something, because she utters a word meaning that. What?! I see the puppy toy in her hand, and she directly pokes it on my face, and I know what she means. So I make fake kisses to this puppy. She is happy, but doesn't want to stop; she wants me to spoil this toy to death by kisses. So funny! After a short while, she has to sit down, and I hand her some snacks, and all things go quite well at frist, and then she begins to crush these crunchy snacks and purple crumbs fall down on the bed. I laugh out loud and help clean the sheet. I kiss her on the cheek and give her a piece of naan which is light flavored. She lies on her side, eating the naan, while her feet couldn't stay still. She puts her feet on my legs, moving them in all kinds of positions, and her mouth is busy savoring the naan... Cuteness overload!

We went to the bookstore, and there she picked 6 pens and 1 bracelet, all pink. I looked at them, immediately, wanting to comment and judge: why all pink? Then I step back mentally, having a bigger picture, remembering that everybody has unique preferences, and I don't want to be judged by other people about my preferences, and I don't want to judge other people about their preferences either. Just let us respect each other. So I calmed down and paid for them; she was happy, and quickly put that pink bracelet around her wrist. We had gone to the shopping mall the day before and she enjoyed the candy and the toy car. Though I would not deliberately choose to be someone's aunt, but I accpet what life brings, so I am willing to be a loving, patient, supportive aunt to my nephew and nieces from time to time. It's good to shift my perceptives and attitudes around different people. When I am with them, I assume a new identity, and I sorta become a carer and in many cases step 2 to them. And I have to become more deliberate and unconditional, otherwise I may lose my patience, and so they offer me wonderful chances to get more uncondtional.

I found a new story to read last night. It's fanfiction based upon two characters of the drama I just watched. In this new story, they got closer, they solved a big problem together, their living environment became better and they now didn't need to push the other away for this or that reason. They can genuinely and openly smile to each other, walk together and connect to other people as a family...

I was watching a short showing people help people and in the comment sector, watchers were passionately "appreciating" those who help other people. And I notice something very interesting. That is: I would apprecaite too, but I don't think this kindness is so rare, so big like the watchers think. Their appreciation was mixed with the feeling that this world is lack of kindness in general. But kindness feels natural and familiar to me. I send kindness out and I continually receive kindness, and it feels normal to me. I pondered a bit and then decided that I'd still be kind and still feel natural and appreciative receiving kindness from others--but no gratitude or unworthiness of any kind. I rarely accept certain things if I am gonna feel gratitude in sorta unworthy way. I'd rather refuse it if it is something I don't urgently need. I receive things and abundnce of different kinds, with pure happiness and appreciation. I decide it a long time ago and this works well for me.

[Jenny Lee]

Morning Appreciation:

~ I appreciate her for offering a wonderful opportunity for me to become more and more unconditional. "Don't you know I love you!" When someone says this sentence in anger, there is no love. I was not in the love mode obviously. It was hard for me at first to find and focus upon positive aspects. But step by step, my intention to love helped me again to do the work. She is not the person who would be easily discouraged because of others' blame which is what I adore. She goes back to happiness fast. She quickly forgets what happened and has fun in abundant ways. And I hope she continually has this life attitude, because it is so important in terms of living a fulfilling life. She frankly expresses what she likes and emphasizes them. She expresses her thankfulness. She willingly shares good stuff with people around her. Old thoughts and momentum captured me and I was in emotional turmoil on the first and second day, and then negative emotions lessened because of the the work. During the process, I had to shift my perspectives and to sorta walk in her shoes which helped me to understand her more and to let go as much as I can double standards. I don't want other people to interfere with my choices, states of being and preferences and I don't want myself to interfere with others' freedom, I don't want to judge or blame in the attitude of "I am right and you are wrong." There is not a big giant right or wrong in the sky.

~I appreciate my sensitivity to double standards within myself more and more, and this helps me become more allowing and loving. Often, there are "shoulds" when double standards are active: They should... Why they? Then I realize: Whoa! What I don't want them to do are actually what I have been doing. Interesting! These things are bad or inapproriate when they are doing them. But they are alright, or even extremely good when I am doing them. Now, when I judge or comment in my mind or the momentum makes it happen in reality, I would look back at myself and see whether it's about double standards. Of course there are things I don't like and I won't like anyway. But there are things that when I just mold my thought a bit, I can change my attitude, especially things related to double standards. After my introspection, I may very well say: Of course they can do these and they should do these. Of course we all can do these things which please us. Isn't it wonderful that we respect each others' desires and preferences, not wanting to interrupt a bit? Isn't it wonderful to live in a world where people mind their own business and allow other people to do what they truly like? Even from a selfish point of view, I'd try myself to respect and allow that, because if I judge them about that, then they can also judge me about what I like with full reason--and I don't like being judged or having unnessary conflict. Furthermore, things can be: I know how important feeling good is, and I appreciate all things which please us, I feel happy for their happiness, and in some cases I may even become their cooperative component for them enjoying these things, just like what I would do sometimes for my nephew and nieces.

~ I rarely feel lonely when I am alone. I am extremely good at enjoying my solitude and for me, enjoying the togetherness with other people in more scenarios would be something I can deliberately expand to--generally speaking, long time with other people would make me bored quickly. So I would purposefully notice the kind of togetherness I like, sometimes with conversations and jokes, sometimes in a quiet way. Yesterday afternoon, my mom was cooking in the kitchen, my father was sweeping the floor in the living room, I gave my little niece a candy and surrounded her with my legs to keep her safe, and my 9-year-old niece was happily playing with her baby sister. So we three were in the bedroom, and we five were in the house, in a sorta quiet way, though my nieces' sounds were loud but they were in a happy mood, so I could easily put my attention to other things in my mind and I did--I was pondering some Abe teachings. I thought: I like this kind of togetherness, we mainly do our own things with satisfaction in the same space without any unpleasant sounds or conversations. I kept my little niece safe, feeling happy for their happiness, with the majority of my attention upon thoughts about the laws of the Universe.

Or I already finished the lunch, and my nephew was still eating. As the bystander or observer, I heard a uniquely soft, gentle and loving voice from my brother. He was telling my nephew to eat slowly to have the food better processed. Sometimes I blamed in my mind that he was too harsh toward my nephew, but actually this kind of satisfying scenes happened often too which were worth remembering and milking. He would purposefully lower and soften his voice to ask his son to chill, to eat slowly, to do things patiently, because he can play his favorite game in the evening and there is no need to hurry now. In situations like this, I can clearly feel his pure love toward his son. And I like this. I like this kind of togetherness as a quiet observer who gets to collect important and useful information/easy, good-feeling existing matches.

~ I appreciate people and past experiences which sped up the process of my becoming more independent, solution-oriented and forward looking. Gnenerally speaking, I like becoming more and more step 5 and I decide to as much as I can appreciate step1/contrast, people and experiences which enhance this attitude. This attitude feels attractive and charismatic to me and I would like to be so.

~ Yesterday, I was writing half of the new chapter in the cafe and then finished the other half when I got home. I was pondering, should I add this new character into the story, if I do, then this specific scene would be more vivid, but the pace of the whole story would slow down a bit, and finally I chose to portray her, because her existence showed that the couple has the same attitude toward a specific thing. Mutual understanding without any word happened. They are both nice, respectful people who are willing to help. This morning, someone commented saying that she loved that they spent time taking photos in that cute cafe with cats. She loved that adorable scene. Yeah! That would naturally happen based upon their state of being and also because one of them is a passionate and professional photographer. As for me, I rarely take photos--it's not my passion or even interest. That's the fun of writing, you get to sorta assume a new identity with new perspectives toward the world. As the story goes, more and more interesting details just flow out, for example, neither of them is actually a gourmet of coffee, and they thought the coffee in the cafe was alright while the barista was just worried about two negative comments written by people who might really care about how the coffee tastes.

~ Just after I shared the new chapter on the app, I discovered that this actor was on a live, so I began to listen to what he was talking. He laughed contagiously. Others said that he was "cheated" to sing for a long while and the auidence was tranced by his beautiful face while deliberately muting the video. I came later and so he started talking about dreams, which strongly resonated with Abe teachings and what I knew. He suggested we not belittle our dreams. We don't compare ourselves with those who do better than us, for we may feel inferior and lose confidence. We don't compare with those who perform worse than us and we may feel complacent, stop moving forward. He suggested we know what we truly desire and then just move in the direction of that. We don't look upward or downward, but forward in sorta parallel way. I listened to his speech till the live ended. He is funny, wise and good with words.

...

[Jenny Lee]

Sad and Beautiful

The song: BIRDS OF A FEATHER by Billie Eilish.

Scenes from the story/The Way Home:

In the sourthern town, this humid summer, a depressed boy is staring into the river while the parade of dragon boats passes by...

His cousin stands against the old and tall banyan tree across the road, just coming back the home town after eight years of pure separation, and here he finds his younger brother who seems to be living in another world, spiritless, no light in his eyes...

Nostalgia hits hard. That happy chubby kid is gone, and that joyful, caring older brother is gone too--not really, joy is gone, but the care lingers. Care and worry pulls him back to this old town dominated by old traditions. Older brother is one of his core identities he couldn't give up, though eight years ago, he already knew they were not blood related.

Mixed emotions hamper his clarity, he doesn't know how to appropriately help, how to let the boy move on, and sometimes the still active trauma pushes him into irrational behaviors. He has lost the ability to frankly show his gentle care. He takes winding, indirect paths, only leading to disheartening misunderstanding...

Finally life gave him a sharp warning, and finally he started awakening...











Luckily, they have a happy open ending.

[Jenny Lee]

Sometimes, I move on fast. Sometimes, I slow down, dive deep and savor a specific creation on and on. I may loop a song for many days. I may spend months or even years focusing upon a story, its characters, its settings, its OST, and of course its most impressive scenes. You can call it as obsession, and for me, it definitely is extremely joyous obsession.

In the story The Way Home, the younger brother has two obsessions, one is his cousin, or his older brother--he wants his brother to forgive him and wants him to come back again as part of the family, especially when he knows that his cousin has lost his mother and maternal grandparents, and now is studying and living on his own. The other obsession is making festive lanterns in all kinds of forms, especially in animal shapes.

I was walking outdoors this evening, yesterday is The Lantern Festival, and so I still got to see a lot of lanterns in parks and along the river. However, after watching the story, I knew clearly how simple and unattractive these lanterns my eyes observed were. That old town was famous for self-made lanterns and dragon boat racing. The little boy had no talent for dragon boat racing, but got passionate about DIYing lanterns. However, his passions other than study were not allowed by his father; his cousin gave him a rabbit lantern and encouraged him to continue the love for making lanterns...

When he only cared about these two obsessions, he had no interest in gaining good scores and performing better than other classmates. Sadly, he was extremely focused upon two subjects which failed him again and again, and furthermore, when he went back home, there was his controlling, angry father waiting for him. He got depressed and self-harming, but still, he was trying his best to be forgiven and secretly make lanterns whenever there was a slight hope...






Finally, he gets to make lanterns with his brother and friends. Actually he is their teacher.




A confident, shining teacher.




Together, they created a houseful of lanterns.

[Jenny Lee]

LoA and...

I had heard Abe talk about Taylor Swift several times, and so I searched a specific conversation about her. The HS strongly appreciated Taylor Swift and emphasized again and again that her songs were sad and so beautiful, and made the listeners happy. Sad and beautiful. I just wrote about this and of course this word combination caught my attention. And she was right, from the rhythm of the song BIRDS OF A FEATHER, I sensed sadness, but beauty surpassed the sadness, which made me feel strong appreciation instead of sadness. And after I wrote the post and deliberately chose the pictures, while listening to the song, I got onto the high-flying disc, because all of these had already amassed quite some good-feeling momentum. When the HS mentioned again about Taylor Swift writing really sad and beautiful songs, Abe said, "Soothing is solving." She was not blaming herself and other people; she is soothing. And after a short while, Abe said when she writes songs, she is in the flow. It's life on steroids. It's not something feeling bad. In my experience, when I write something sad but beautiful or poetic, generally speaking, I feel good, I enjoy the process of reaching for the perfect words to express the elegant sadness. And lots of classic Chinese poems have this combination of sadness and extreme beauty. (the clip tile is: CAPTIVATING THE MASSES: Abraham Hicks Explains The Taylor Swift Phenomenon)

And then I really respect my own preferences. I had listend to many of her songs, but only less than five songs resonated with me for a short while. So, it's about personal preferences. When I focus upon songs, I rarely care about lyrics, I just feel the rhythm, because I often play songs as background music. And in the past two days, I was looping BIRDS OF A FEATHER, because it's beautifully sad and a match to the atomosphere of the former part of my beloved story.

Days ago, I was curious about AI, and so I listened to Abe talk about AI (the title is: Artificial Intelligence and Consciousness, and the channel is: Latest Abraham). I listened to it every day to memorize and pre-pave. Some key sentences I remembered are:

AI doesn't have a soul, an Inner Being, and the connection to Source. AI doesn't have a point of attraction and the emotional guidance. AI can not be as inspired as humans. AI, at best, is looking back, because it's based upon already existent data/old news/old data. It can help. But it can never be like humans, the extension of Source Energy. Just make the best of it, not pushing against it, but put it in the right place.

Yesterday, I joined in the group, and two posts were talking about not allowing AI writings in this group. I read a bit, knew that someone just posted AI fanfiction in the group, and this caused uneasiness. Writers write out of pure love, and for many of them, it's a long process, it needs a lot of time and energy and sometimes many times of re-reading and re-rewriting. While AI novels just plucked others' ideas, put them together, change names, and then create "new stories." There are not many fresh, genuine emotions and inspirations there, let alone the passion and love of the writers... I read and ponder, and think to myself, "I don't know what actually the readers of AI novels would feel. I don't know whether they can feel really good or not in reading them. I think AI novels would be unnatural on some parts, a bit awkward here and there. But as a writer, I would never be so stupid to use AI to write, for that would toally miss the essence of writing. Writing is for the flow, for the connection to Source, for the amazing inspirations, for the unexpected details in the process of writing, and this can only come from writing with love. Maybe AI can be used to process parts that are necessary but boring, but never those main parts. Using AI to write is like pushing buttons of those machines--nothing new, repeated, BORING. " And from my selfish point of view, I don't want to see AI stories in the group, because I know this would make many writers disheartened and leave--I don't like this, so I favorite their suggestion, though I don't have an aversion to AI writing because I can easily ignore or skip it.

...

[spiritualcookie]

I enjoyed your musings on sad but beautiful songs In earlier days after discovering Abraham, I used to feel guilty about listening to sad songs because I thought I was deliberately tuning myself to a low vibration and wallowing in it. But then I thought, if it feels good, it must be giving some relief and must be higher on the EGS than where I was before, so listening to a sad but beautiful song may actually help go up the EGS if it feels good to listen to it.

-

About AI writing: I so agree with you that the magic of writing is in the joy of writing. Then, I also think, for some people there is a joy in discovering new technlogies and playing with them - and so for them, playing with AI is satisfying; it's a completely different kind of satisfaction to writing by yourself. It's like actual writing vs playing with AI writing are two very different playgrounds, so deserve 2 different groups - because the appreciation for either one is so different. And I agree with you - my feeling is that the AI writing would always miss the heart, magic and wonder that human writing can bring.

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Thank you for mentioning the youtube clips - I now have a new rocket of desire to listen to them both

[Jenny Lee]

About AI writing: I so agree with you that the magic of writing is in the joy of writing. Then, I also think, for some people there is a joy in discovering new technlogies and playing with them - and so for them, playing with AI is satisfying; it's a completely different kind of satisfaction to writing by yourself. It's like actual writing vs playing with AI writing are two very different playgrounds, so deserve 2 different groups - because the appreciation for either one is so different. And I agree with you - my feeling is that the AI writing would always miss the heart, magic and wonder that human writing can bring.

Yes, I had the same thoughts about you. I knew there could be great fun for people to play with AI, to cotinually speficify and refine their questions and key words to get better results, and it's just I didn't want to add more contents in this specific writing. So, I totally agree with you.

From time to time, I would use AI transcripting function of an app to transcribe some Abe teachings--it's so convenient. The time I save from transcribing word by word could be used in other areas.

[spiritualcookie]

From time to time, I would use AI transcripting function of an app to transcribe some Abe teachings--it's so convenient.

oo do you have an AI transcripting apps you can recommend? Tara was recently looking for some