Quotes on Relationships

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WHEN YOU WANT TO SHARE SPIRITUAL TEACHINGS WITH YOUR LOVED ONES...

As you are receiving these words and are wanting to express them to others
it is important that you understand that some of them will be receptive to these words
and others will not.

As teachers we have learned that our work is not to convince anyone of anything
but to offer that which we know,
through the power of our words,
and by being who we are,
and through the clarity of our being,
we will sitimulate the thoughts of those who are wanting something similar.

Do not assume the responsibility of convincing anyone of anything.

Instead, make your decisions about what you want,
and set out ot create the life experience that you choose -
and allow all others to do the same.

(...)

As we understand that it is not a personal affront when another does not agree with us,
but that it is their expression of their own life,
then perhaps we can more easily allow the difference.

- Abraham Hicks

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Q. Can you intend something for someone else?

A. You cannot.
If you are wanting another to understand what you understand,
then through your strong intent and your power of influence,
you may stimulate their thought,
and as you stimulate the thought within them,
then they may begin to attract it in their experience.
That is what we call good influence or bad influence.

If there is a friend who continually talks of sickness,
and you willingly listen, acting as a sounding board,
then you are a negative influence,
for you encourage negative creating.

But if instead you only speak of health,
you only speak of prosperity,
you only speak of those things that you are wanting in your experience,
then you are an influence for that hich you consider good.

-

By focusing on someone's positive aspects, you have the power to manifest more of that from them

As you are wanting to interact with a being that you are not getting along with,
with a being that rings your warning bells continually,
if you will intend to see that which you approve of,
if you intend to see that which you like,
then you will literally begin to solicit from that being those things.

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Why does the magic wear off in relationships?

Have you ever known someone,
you meet them, [and think]
it is a perfect speciimen of humanity.
As far as yo uare concerned, it is a wondrous being.
And as you look at this wondrous being wit hthat attitude,
the being becomes more wondrous every day.
You just can't believe that you have met such a marvelous person.

And then that person takes you home,
and the mother of that person begins to tell you
of all the things that person did while they were growing up,
pointing out all the weaknesses,
all of the things that have been overcome,
or need to be overcome,

And suddenly you are looking at that person in a new light.
And suddenly you say,
"Yes, I see that,
I can see how you aren't as strong as I thought you were,
and not as smart as I thought you were."

And as you look at that being with that new set of intentions,
you begin to solicit from them that which you do not like.
And then you say, "I dont really want to be with you.
I am looking for a perfect one."

It is the reason that most relationships deteriorate.

-

When you are drawn together, you are drawn together by that which you are wanting,
but then as you are together,
your focus is no longer on what is wanted...
but upon what is not wanted.

You see in this being all the things that you are wanting
until you are influenced by another to see the flaws.
As yo uare influenced by another, or even by your own habit
- you may always look for flaws -
as you are influenced by whatever, others or your own habits,
to look for flaws,
then you begin to solicit ,to summon, to literally draw from that being,
the things that you don't like.
Where before, before the influence, you were drawing the things that you did like.

(...)

If you focus upon that which you are wanting to see
that is what you will draw into your experience -
whether you are talking about the entire Universe,
or one single soul.

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What to do when someone is doing something you don't like

The tendency is to blame the other for his imperfection.
We are wanting you to assume the responsibility for his imperfection as he interacts with you,
for you are soliciting it from him.

The tendency is to see a flaw in another and judge and blame the other,
and what we are sayign to you is -
only what you see, is there. (...)

As you are clear about what you are wanting, (...)
when you see that which is not in harmony with who you are, look away.

When your warning bell rings because that which you are seeing is not in harmony with what you are wanting,
turn your attention to someting else.

-

Allow others Unconditionally

You are all wanting to be ALLOWERS.
And you will know when you have achieved that when you are willing to allow another,
even when the other does nto allow you.

When you are able to allow,
even when the other is not allowing you,
you will have absolute freedom.

You see, the only thing that binds you is negativity.
Without it you are free, joyously.
And so, as you look at another
and see only that which brings forth joy,
you are free.

And as you look at another and see that which brings forth negativity,
you are bound by your own decision of what you are soliciting.

We are wanting you to release the responsibility from all those you are blaming
for all the things they are doing wrong
and for all the ways they are messing up your life.
They are not doing it!
You are doing it!

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Being Aligned means you have more to offer people in relationships with you

If you make your relationship with your Inner Being your top priority,
and you deliberately choose thoughts that allow your alignment,
you will consistently offer the greatest advantage to the others with whom you interact.
Only when you are aligned with your Source do you have anything to offer another. (...)

[When you are aligned]
then anyone who you hold as your object of attention will benefit.

-

Trying hard to make others happy can cause lack of alignment

If your behavior is influenced by your desire to keep another person happy,
you will lose your Connection to your Source.
And it is not possible for you to be happy unless you are in alignment with your Source.
Without that alignment, you have nothing to offer another. (...)

Rather than attempting the impossible task of trying to behave in ways that please others,
show them the ease of finding YOUR consistent alignment.

You will always find happiness inside your Vortex.
And the happiness that they are seeking is inside their Vortex.


Excerpted from Getting into the Vortex Guided Meditation CD and User Guide

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How to maintain a happy relationship

Abraham: Anything that has been created,
all that is required is that you continue to want it, (...)
or give attention to that which you have created.
[eg by giving it appreciation]
and it will be. (...)

As you are looking around at those things that you want, feel your appreciation for them.

Q. What would cause it to shut down?

Abraham Not wanting it.
[or not giving it any attention].

You see, there is not an ending to any creation.
[There is just creating a new situation instead].

- Abraham

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Tips for attracting joyous relationships

We encourage you to say:
"I intend joyous creation and joyous harmony and
joyous interaction with those who are in harmony with me."

Now, when we say "in harmony" it means many things
Harmony does not mean attracting someone who is exactly like you.
Harmony means attracting those who will harmonize with you.
In other words, as you have talents in one area,
harmony is attracting someone who has talents in another area.
As you are adding what you have to offer, you will attract the others who will add hte balance of that.
And so, as you are seeing yourself in this environment with everyone as participating,
it will be a joyous time.

-

Your thoughts attract others' behaviors
Q. What do you mean when you say you "draw things" from other people?

Abraham:
You attract from one that which you see.
If you see a being as unwilling, they will be unwilling just to please you.
If you see them as beautiful, they will be beautiful just to please you;
if you see them as fat, they will be fat just to please you.
If you see them as smart, they are smart,
if you see them as dumb, they are dumb;
if you see them as dead, they are dead.

Q. Then you are creating it. Right?

Abraham: You are not.
You are using your power of influence.
They have choice, you see. (...)
They make the conscious decision.

Have you not seen it in yourself,
that there are beings that when you are around them, you are at your very best,
and there are beings that when you are around them, you are always at your very worst,
and when it's over you say:
"I don't know what is wrong with me!"

You are being swept up by the strong power of influence.

And so, as you are wanting someone to be a certain way,
see them in that way,
and by your power of influence they MAY be that way for you.

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Hotseater says whenever he visits his mother he is overwhelmed by her negativity and asks how he can guard himself from it.

Abraham:
Your dominant intention is to please your mother.
Your dominant intention is that of harmony.
And so, you are continually following through with that,
unable to distract yourself as you are interacting. (...)

As she is speaking of those things which you are not wanting, disregard them.

That is not really the problem.
The warning bells ring loudest when she is concerned about what YOU are doing.
You are not doing that which she thinks you should do.
But when you are able to [to let go of your resistance to the negative things she says, become fully allowing of her as she is, and say to her:]
"It's alright that you feel that way. I understand," and really mean it,
then you will be free of the negative emotion that comes forth under these conditions, you see. (...)
When you are willing to say:
"It's alright. I hear what you say, but this is what I know to be."
then those feelings will not be so intense within you - and you will be free.

Freedom comes when you are able to be as you are AND to allow others to be as they are.

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How to be of value within a relationship

The greatest value that you can be to any other is to see them as perfect beings as they are.
And to encourage them to think and speak more of what they are wanting.
And as they come to you expressing that which you know they do not want,
say to them: "I have come to know how powerful my words adn thoughts are,
and yours are very powerful as well.
And so, as you are speaking to me of that which you are not wanting,
I must ask you to stop,
for I am not wanting to assist you in your negative creating.
Let us talk about what you want."
And they will say to you more of what they dont' want,
for it is habit you see.
And you say: "No, you don't understand.
I am very serious about this.
We MUST speak of what we ARE wanting, not of what we are not wanting."
And soon they will recognize that when they speak of what is not wanted, that your ears will be closed.

(...)

Your words are powerful, but your example is even more powerful.
Be who you are.
Express what you know.

- Abe

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When YOU feel better
those who love you also feel better.

- Abraham Hicks, San Antonio, TX, 5/29/99