"Nothing matters more to me, than that I feel good."
(Abe)
...I enjoy my tipping point!
I react joyfully from ITV now, and so, it all turns out wonderful!
Day 5
I REALLY was miffed today about something. And then, I decided to allow my mood instead of pushing against it, and ENJOYED (!!) a f*- rampage!!
It helped to let it go without feeling sanctimonious. 
I managed not to go into shame about being angry. Somehow, it just was authentic. That was... feeling good! Just embracing what-is, nooo pushing against it!
Just controlling myself to not go overboard in a way I did not want- and that is good-feeling, too.And then, my son and my daughter got my so dreamed of Schaumküsse. 175 pieces!
They had todrive 4 hrs to do so, but they agreed (and I had asked for) as they picked up J.'s stepson for Christmas, and it was on the way. I SO LOVED TO GET THE PHOTO OF THE BOXES!
I, at first, was a bit in fear and shame that my family might judge me for being SO exuberant, and so ravenously and so NOT humble, while -they are NOT all for myself. I will give 4 boxes of them to J and J.'s family in law, with whom they will celebrate Christmas, and there will be 11 children and 12 grownup's! 1 box was going to the family of the stepson. 2 boxes I kept for give-aways and our own family. And all of that feels so good.
I really really REALLY wanted this exuberant richness! And when my son F teasingly asked "Do you think it will be enough?", I was in Alignment! I went with the tease, and we had such fun!! And I think, my family is proud of me, no matter how much they tease. But even if they wouldn't, I stood my stance. I was having a straight spine, as we Germans say! IT FELT SO GOOD!!! THIS IS MY LIFE! And I can decide as I want! (And I so enjoyed that DH liked it, from the beginning!)
I do big things.
I am not normal! I love to be generous. I love to see people smile! And: 
I feel soooo proud!
