The Abe Forum

Very famous segment!
"Stalking disinterested Fred?"


Guest:
I want to talk about a man. We’ll call him Fred. I saw him about 4 years ago, and everything inside me went, “SHAZAM, that’s just a beautiful person.” I felt all champagne bubbly inside. And I know that I had a good 15 years of momentum behind me that was negative, and he manifested right out of my experience before I had a chance to know him or he had a chance to know me.

So you and I talked about this a couple of years ago, and you told me not to get caught up in the form and if thinking of a person specifically caused negative feelings, then I should back off and focus on the essence of him and what I liked about him. And I tried that for awhile, but I never felt as good as I did when I thought specifically of Fred. And I criticized myself for doing it wrong. And then about a year ago I said, screw it, I’m just going to think about Fred in all the loving ways I can imagine. So I did that for a year and it was wonderful.

And just the other day, I saw him driving down my street! And I thought, this stuff really works!

So, I went to where he was staying and I ran the buzzer, and I did not get the response that I was imagining. It was, in fact, very, ah, weird, and not good at all. So I soothed myself by telling myself that maybe I’m not really as terrible at this as I think. Maybe he just doesn’t know what a good idea I am, and what a good idea we would be together.

At the same time, I thought, maybe I’m stopping the real love of my life from coming to me because I’m thinking of the specific thing. But I can’t let go of the specific thing.

Abraham:
Well, the most important question we want to put to you is, at what point did you decide that instead of working it out vibrationally to jump in with action? Why was it so compelling to jump in with action?

Guest:
You mean, why did I go ring the bell that day?

Abe:
Yes. You were creating it in thought. You were working it around and you had finally found a way to relax. You’ve been working on this for awhile and some thoughts were comfortable, and some thoughts were not. But brought yourself into quite a place of comfort. Then you began seeing some evidence of your motion forward, and rather than letting the Stream continue to carry you to the fruition, you must have lost your faith in the Stream’s ability to take you where you wanted to go and you decided to go ring the buzzer.

Guest: Yes!

Abe:
This is just our way of saying that you don’t have the timing the Universe has. And you want to say, is the Universe really taking me to Fred? We say that if you can trust the Universe knows all the good stuff that you got from Fred, and all the good stuff you got from John, and all the good stuff you got from Jim, and all the good stuff…If you could accept that you’ve been sifting through the sands of men for a quite very long time, and you have created a magnificent relationship of which Fred is a part, but not all inclusive. There is stuff that is really dominant in Fred that is nowhere near what is dominant in your vibrational escrow.

Meanwhile, the Universe knows full well what you want and knows where all of it is, and is calling you toward it and giving you evidence that you are focusing well, and all of a sudden, you want to jump in with both feet and all of your action and go ring Fred’s doorbell. And the Universe is saying, “wrong doorbell. Wrong doorbell.” (lots of laughter from the audience)

Guest:
But if Fred’s not right for me, shouldn’t I get to have some experience with Fred to decide that. But why does the Universe get to say, “Fred’s not yours”? (even more laughter)

Abe:
If you and Fred were really as much of a match as you portrayed it right now, you would already be in the midst of an extraordinary relationship. But Fred has all kinds of things activated that are not a match to your vibrational escrow. And we want to step back from the person we’re calling Fred, whose real name shall remain nameless to protect the innocent (more laughter). We want you to step back from the specifics of this and just accept that through all of this, that you are creating something wonderful.

What we’re really doing is encouraging you to have more patience and less action for a little while. But there’s nothing wrong with your action. You jumped in with action and you got a rebuff that you don’t want which kind of set you back a little bit. We’re not encouraging you to not act because you’ll ring the doorbell and mess up your creation. We are just encouraging you to let the Flow carry you a little further so that the inspiration is so compelling that nothing can keep you from it. Because when you respond in action under those conditions, then you don’t get the rebuffs.

In other words, if you act too soon before the energy’s lined up, you almost always get a backlash. That is the whole point of the Art of Allowing. The Art of Allowing is just release the resistance and allow. Releasing resistance and allowing are the same thing. Release the resistance and therefore allow. Release the resistance and therefore allow.

Release the resistance and therefore allow. Release the resistance and therefore allow. And as the Stream begins to carry you, the ideas that occur to you will always bring you the results you are wanting.

It’s not possible for you to not get what you are wanting. We’re just asking you to look a little further down the road. We just want you to act less and create with your mind a little more.

And you say, Abraham, I was doing that and frankly, I just tired of doing it. And we say you can’t get tired of doing that because that is the work. Even now, you have start where you are. You rang the doorbell and it didn’t turn out well, and you start again. And you say, it was easier before I rang the doorbell, and now I’ve got that to overcome. But we say, but still you can. But still you can. And as you do, more things will come your way.

Guest:
I want to know how do I let go? Because there’s a part of me that’s very tired. Not just over Fred, but of wanting that match. And if I have to let go of Fred, if Fred can’t be in my future for whatever reason…

Abe:
(interrupting) We don’t want you to let go of Fred. We don’t want you to let go of the essence of Fred. We don’t want you to let go of the idea of the relationship. We just want you to let go of the resistance. Which means we want you to let go of the need to control Fred.

How will you feel when you have let go of the control and you are letting the Universe do its work on your behalf? How can you tell?

Guest:
Supposedly, I’ll feel really good and I feel relief and I feel comfortable. Whenever thoughts of him come up and I feel comfortable, then I know I’m in the Stream. I’m letting go.

Abe:
And what kind of thoughts are you having when you are doing the opposite?

Guest:
When I think, he’ll never like me. It’s never going to happen. This is ridiculous. What am I doing? I’m fixated on something…

Abe:
And which kinds of thoughts do you think you think most? In terms of airtime? Percentage-wise? On a daily basis, do you have more positive or negative feelings about relationship?

Guest:
More of the time I’m working on it. Do you know what I mean? It’s a constant working on it with me.

Abe:
Now you’ve come ‘round to the subject of this discussion: is working on it helping???

Guest:
Obviously not.

Abe:
So how does one stop working on a situation? How do you stop doing that?

Guest:
I guess you try to stop thinking about all of it altogether.

Abe:
What you do is let your desire for relief be more important than your desire for Fred for now. Because both of them are in the same direction. And that’s why when you say, I’m just weary of this, we say, that’s a very good sign. Because when you’re weary, you’re getting ready to stop the struggle.

You see, we want to convince you that you can’t NOT get what you want, but you can prolong its coming by struggling against the current. And the reason we’re belaboring this with you, is because we want everybody to stop for a little bit and identify what are your reasons for pushing against things.

In other words, we know that you ultimately want the relationship that you want, so what is it that you, and almost everyone else, is unwilling to just let it go, to just drop it. Say, Step 1, Step 2, Step 3. Step 1: Boy, I’ve done that. I’ve launched my desires. Step 2 is Source answers which means it is already done, which means I’m being called toward it. Step 3 is I just have to allow myself to float freely on the current that moving toward what I want in a free flowing environment until I get there. If you know what you want is there and you know you’re floating, then why would you feel anything but joy?

We say, you wouldn’t, if you were floating. It’s the paddling upstream thing that makes it not fun. So just stop that. We would encourage you to just get off the subject for awhile. Find some other things that are important to you. Don’t belabor it. Don’t keep working at it. Don’t keep up the struggle. You see, every subject is really two subjects; what is wanted and the lack of it. It’s a fine line when you activate the subject of your desire, whether you activate it with the flow or against it. If you habit is to worry about it, then every time you activate it, you’re going to worry about it. You’ve got to find some way from disengaging from that need to do something about it.

We don’t want you to give up on your goal or give up on your desire. In fact, we know you can’t. You cannot be less than life has caused you to become. But you can allow yourself to go toward it or you can keep yourself from going toward it, and you can tell in the moment of discussion which you are doing.

So now, give us some reassuring words that let us know you are able to release the struggle and go with the flow.

Guest:
I very much want to believe that I can look upon something and say I want that, and not get wound up about it. And not get tensed about it. I want to be able to create specifically one day. I want to figure out how I can create specifically and be letting go at the same time.

Abe:
That’s the question of the day. In fact, it’s the question of this workshop. It’s the question of creating. It’s the best question we’ve ever heard. How do I find my place within this? If the Universe is orchestrating and if I am deciding through the deciphering, then how do I know if I’m getting in my own way? We say, tension starts to come over you. How do I know if I’ve gotten out of the way? I start to feel more relaxed. How do I feel when I’m hindering it? I don’t trust it. How do I feel when I’m helping it? I feel more trusting. How do I know when I’m going with the flow? It’s fun. How do I know when I’m not? It isn’t fun. How do I know when I’ve let go? I feel good. How do I know when I haven’t let go? I feel tense. How do I know when I’m free flowing? I feel ease. How do I know when I’m pushing against the current? I feel tense. How do I know when I’m succeeding and I’m going to get what I want? I’m flowing free. But, Abraham, I’m flowing free, but I don’t have Fred, so how do I know it’s working? And we say, because you’re flowing free.

Flowing free has to be what you’re after. Fred’s downstream. If you’re flowing free and Fred’s downstream, what is inevitably going to happen?

Guest:
I’ll run into him.

Abe:
You will! And when you do, it won’t be something that you’ve orchestrated. It won’t be false. It won’t be contrived. It won’t be manipulative. It will be a rendezvous that flowing Streams have orchestrated. And when it happens, and I come into contact, and I recognize and I see through the way I feel the perfection of this relationship, I won’t say, are you Fred? Because it won’t matter.

- North Los Angeles, 8-5-2006

"As you enjoy people
you attract enjoyable people"

- AH

When people use their partners desires to discourage themselves...

As we are interacting with humans, sometimes we meet someone- in fact almost all humans that we meet, your vibrational gap seems to be continually influenced by what other people are doing. Not because they have power in your experience, but because you've got your nose in their business! So, two people- let's say, two people who want... (stay with us: we're really answering your question! It just seems a bit off the way!) ...two people, who -let's say they're living together, who seem to want two different things.

If this one would focus upon what he wants, and become a vibrational match to it, the universe must deliver it to him, in the fullest sense of the word. And if the other wants what they want, -even though it's different from what the other wants!- and if this one focuses upon it completely, then the universe must deliver it!

And so, both
-even when they're living together,
-even when they're cooperating together,
-even when they're working together,
each of them can receive exactly what they want. Provided, each of them focuses upon exactly what they want!

But what happens with most humans is: This one wants what they want, but notices what that one wants. So, this one's vibration isn't in alignment with what they want! And this one knows what they want, but notices what that one wants- so this one's vibration isn't in alignment with what they want.

So, now neither one of them are a match to what they want.
Neither one of them are getting what they want- and they're both blaming each other for it.

Abraham Hicks

NOTHING IS EVER WRONG!
(It only takes 30 days to come into true, unconditional love)

Well friends, we think you've got it! We think that you now understand, that you are Source Energy in physical bodies, yes?
-Do you get it, that you've come here with purpose to understand that that purpose is expansion joyous expansion?
-Do you understand that you never get it done, and you cannot get it wrong,
-and the reason that you can't get it wrong is, because it's never done!?

So even though it may sound or feel out of balance, and maybe even wrong, that it really isn't wrong.

Because, in the feeling of wrongness, you're giving birth to your opinion of what would be better, and the source within you so trusts your opinion of what would be better for you, that the source within you embraces that idea completely. And becomes a vibrational equivalent to it! And holds steady there, until you find your way there.

We've talked about the fun of croaking- you're still not there, are you?
We've talked about the deliciousness of releasing resistance, through what you call the death experience, and we've talked about releasing resistance through meditation- quieting the mind.
We've talked about releasing resistance through appreciation.

But you have to be somewhere in the vicinity of appreciation, to release resistance! But do you know, with every feeling of relief that you find, as you make your way up the emotional scale- with every feeling of relief there, is the releasing of resistance. And so every effort that you make to release a little resistance is really worth the effort! Because in time, because of the vastness of the variety of your life,

the subjects that are alive and active in your now, are enough for you to release all resistance that you've accumulated over a lifetime!

Do you know that you don't have to go back and make peace with some wrongdoing, that happened 20 years ago or 30 years ago- or yesterday?

You don't have to go back and fix all of those things. Because whatever is active in your vibration now is bringing you current, real life, active, poignant, meaningful-now matches!

You're attracting the vibrational evidence that shows you what you're doing:
Do you know that what you're living, and the way it is playing out, is your vibrational indicator?
Do you know, what's going on in your body is just an indicator of your vibration?
Do you know that what's happening in your life- in terms of relationship, is just a vibrational indicator?
Do you know the money in your bank account is a vibrational indicator?

Everything that is manifested, the car that you're driving, the house that you're living in, the clothes that you're wearing, the condition of your body- everything about your life, is a vibrational indicator.

And those indications of vibration are being shown to you all day, every day. In the form of the emotion that you feel! So, if you leave here with one decision within you, and it goes like this:

"I now understand the importance of recognizing how I feel.
And I do care about feeling as good as I can feel, about that and that and that."

So, somebody you love tells you a lie, and it hits you hard. And you think: "They shouldn't lie to me. They should trust me more! I wish they wouldn't lie." And then you try to wrestle them to the ground, and you try to figure out why they are lying, and you try to figure out where the lies started, and you try to understand the motive of the lie- and all you do is get yourself in a scramble. Because you can't begin to understand it! You couldn't sort it out, if you had a hundred lifetimes to do it. But you can recognize that your attention to this subject is causing you discomfort, right here and now! And you could choose a better feeling thought!

-So you find a thought that goes something like: "I don't understand where they're coming from!" -and that gives you a little relief.
-And then you think of the thoughts such as: "Well, I have told a lie before." And that might make you feel better, too!
-And then you think a thought such as "The only time I've ever lied was, because I didn't think the person would like, what I thought to be the truth. And I wanted them to feel as good as they could feel. So, maybe there is some compassion in lying somewhere?" -and you feel a little better.
-And then you think: "I don't know why I'm making such a big thing about this."
-And then you think "I can't even remember what the subject to hand was!"
-and then you think "I think I've been making a big deal out of nothing."
-and then you think "this is a person who I really love."
-and then you think "it really doesn't matter what they're doing! It really only matters how I feel about them!"
-and then you think "I should not ask them to behave in certain ways in order to love them! Because, I am one who offers unconditional love."

And as you work your way through issue after issue, with person after person, and subject after subject- before you know it, within one or two or three days, certainly four or five- and absolutely within 30!! -you will have had enough real-life experiences show you the vibrational evidence, of what's going on with your vibration: That you can clean it ALL up! Within 30 days, you can have cleaned up enough of your vibration- and

by "cleaning up", all we mean is: Find a better feeling thought!

Find a better feeling thought, find a better feeling thought, find a better feeling thought... that...
Do you know that you are 30 days or less from being a vibrational match to the source, that is really you?
To the reason that you were born, to the coming forth into this physical experience?
To the living the joyous life-experience, that you have come to live?
To the being a vibrational match to what's in your vibrational escrow?
To the getting inside everything, that you've ever asked for?

Do you know how close you are, in terms of time, having everything that life so far has caused you to ask for?

It's such a short distance!
It just requires some caring about how you feel. And a willingness, to move yourself deliberately up the emotional scale, and back into vibrational alignment with who you really are. As you do that every day, you'll see the world a little more through the eyes of source! And as you begin to view your magnificent world through the eyes of source, you will then revel in your beingness, and in that of others, and you will feel pride, and worth, beyond physical description. And you will begin to express to others:

I've come forth with great reason into this physical body and that reason is for joyous expansion and I wish that for all.

From the youtube-clip "Abraham Hicks - Practice the feeling of Unconditional LOVE / No Ads during"

True, unconditional LOVE- and true FREEDOM.

Source sees you, and feels only appreciation for that which you are- regardless of the condition that you're living!
Because source is so practiced in this knowing of well-being that the condition that you are currently living, does not dissuade it from its knowledge of well-being.

Unconditional love is:
Staying in the vibration of source, regardless of the condition.

Conditional love says:
"I want to feel good when I see this- I do, when I see that- I don't.
So, this condition has to change: so, that I can feel better!

Unconditional love says: I am source. and I am love,
regardless of the condition.

So, that's why man translates that to say: "God is love", or: "God loves all".
Unconditional love- that's what you're all reaching for.

You want to be tuned in, tapped in, turned on, to who you are. And living in this world it's the best of everything to be! In this world, where you're mixing it up, getting new ideas, and then coming into alignment with it.

The only freedom that you will ever find is the freedom from the bondage of resistance.
In other words, what resistance is is not allowing yourself to be who you really are!

All pain and suffering are about diverging from who you really are. All joy and alignment is about coming into vibrational frequency with who you really are! And that is the epitome it is most descriptive word for what love is.
Love is the absence of resistance.
Love is vibrational alignment with that which is source.
Love is tuned in, tapped in, turned on.
Love is vibrational alignment with source!
Unconditional love is vibrational alignment with source, even when there is something that I don't want happening.
You're a lot of trouble, you know!

HS:
So, can can you offer us some words that would de-socialize us, so that we get to the point... well, what are... what are some words we could practice, when we're by ourselves, that would shore up this notion of putting how we feel above, what others...

Abe:
"I love you so much, I don't care what you think."

HS:
Saying that to the peanut gallery?

Abe:
To anyone! "I love, I love you so much- I don't care what you think."

Now, think about what that's saying:
"I SO care about being in vibrational alignment with who I am! Because, if I am in vibrational alignment with who I am, then I have love to give. But if I am catering to what you want, rather than to my own guidance- then I've not tuned in, tapped in, turned on! I have nothing to give! I love you so much, I don't care what you think." or: "I love you so much, I must tune to the source within me, and I cannot tune to the source within me and tune to what you want, at the same time! Don't make me choose between alignment with source, and what you think you want, at this moment! If you will allow me, or whether you do, or not, to align with who I am -then I can shine the energy of source upon you. And you will thrive!

But if you convince me that I should cater to you, rather than align with Who I am, then I'll be out here on the raw and ragged edge with you. And we'll just fight it out, and blame each other, for how bad we feel. with you I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK."

When you get there, and can deliver that with a straight face, you'll have it.

Those do not understand: Well, what do you mean? If you'd love me, you'd care what I think!?" -well it goes like this: "I do love you! I love you so much, I don't care what you think." -"What do you mean?" -"Well, you think I'm wrong. But in order to love you, I must know that I'm source. And I can't know that I'm source, and know that I'm wrong at the same time! So,

in order to love you, I have to be in alignment with source.

And when I'm in alignment with source, I don't care what you think! In other words, it's solid." It's just hard to get them to hear it, because you know how irrational people are, when they're out on the raw and ragged edge... in other words, you you can't get sick enough to help sick people get well- and yet, you think that you can get disconnected enough to get disconnected people to be connected!

You can only help people align with source, from your vantage point of being aligned with source.

And you can't be aligned with source, and catering to what they think at the same time. You just can't do it! Maybe there are other words, that would be better:
-"I love you so much I don't care what you think." We like that. That's our first choice!

-"I see you as you really are. Not as you are being in this moment. I know the power of your being, and I know the reason that you are so upset right now, is because you are right now not allowing yourself to be the brilliant, beautiful, tuned in, tapped in, turned on person, that I fell in love with to begin with. And if you don't mind, I'm gonna go away, and I'm gonna hold the thought of who I know you really are, rather than wallow with you in this disconnected state." Getting better! (Audience cheering) How about this:

-"I've seen you in your alignment. And I've seen you not in your alignment. And I like you best, when you're in your alignment, but when I'm in my alignment- it doesn't matter." That's good, too!

-"When I'm tuned in, tapped in, turned on- you can be any way you want to me. Because my love for you is unconditional! I am no longer gonna hold you responsible for how I feel!" What freedom you give to anyone that you would say that to!

-"I no longer hold you responsible for how I feel. I'm in charge of how I feel! I'm in charge of how I feel, and I so know that, that I don't even have to ask the same back from you." That was good, too!

-"I'm so good at unconditional love that I don't need you to know how to do it!" ...think about what we're saying here:

"I'm tuned in, tapped in, turned on. I'm thriving, no matter what you do. You're not the boss of me: I am. I have the ability to align with source, regardless of the conditions that surround me. I get unconditional love."


From the youtube-clip "Abraham Hicks - Practice the feeling of Unconditional LOVE / No Ads during"