Quotes on Relationships

Introducing the Abe Quotation sub-forum We've been noticing more and more members enjoying and sharing Abraham's words of wisdom in many different forms. The momentum of such generous sharing has caught our attention so we've created a place here on the forum to assemble such gems "under one roof," so to speak.
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Re: Quotes on Relationships

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Loving unconditionally is a decision / being happy in a relationship is a decision

Make love your decision- UNCONDITIONALLY

HS:
How did Esther not give a rip about what he (Jerry)
was doing? Because...

Abe:
Because, she decided to love him.
She was not about to let herself NOT LOVE HIM.
There was never anything that he could be or do,
that was big enough to cause her to not love him!

2015 11 14 Atlanta

-

What it really comes down to is that YOU DECIDE,
that you´re gonna be happy in the relationship- period.
YOU´RE GONNA BE HAPPY in the relationship.

And- brace yourselves- what the other person does, IS IRRELEVANT.

SanDiego, Jan. 2013

-


"What is unconditional love, anyway?
Unconditional love is:
I´m happy!
I´m HAPPY.
I´m happy- in this moment.

Unconditional love is:
I have the ability to focus in love on my happiness."

from the clip
Abraham Hicks - He feels pulled to expansion, but she

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Re: Quotes on Relationships

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We attract friends / lovers who are a perfect match to our vibration (good or bad)

Isn´t that interesting?
EVERYBODY that comes to you is the PERFECT match!
They give you exactly, what you are outputting.
Not just a little bit. LoA not just sort of gets it right.
LoA get´s it EXACTLY right. Every single time.

So, when you look at this person, and you say:
"What in the world are you doing in my life???"
LoA is saying:
"Hey! Don´t blame us! We´re just reading the vibe!!"

from the clip
Abraham Hicks ~ You’re Making Everything Up In Your Mind And Universe Confirms It

-

Is SAYING "I love you" important? Does its mean anything?

would you rather be with somebody,
maybe they’re new in your experience.
You’re just chatting it up, telling them how much you love them.
-Or would you rather just love them?

Why do you need [to say I love you] so much for them to know?
‘Cause you are trying to get something back from them.

But if you weren’t trying so hard to get it back from them,
but just loving them, just loving them.
-Now, you’re in that vibration.

- AH

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Re: Quotes on Relationships

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What's the perfect kind of mate

If you really want to find the perfect human relationship,
look for someone who is cat-like.

Likes to be alone- and is happy to be with you.
Happy when you are there, and happy when you're not there.

Licks your face occasionally.
Will take all the scratching and petting you are willing to offer.
Feels secure.
Sleeps when it feels like it.
Hunts when it feels like it.
Basks often.
Meditates regularly,
Never feels guilty, ever ever ever ever EVER.

Does emphatically what he wants to do.
Is always glad to see you
Never cares when you leave.
Seems like the perfect partner- YES!!!!

Asheville 10/22/05

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Re: Quotes on Relationships

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The perfect relationship does not depend on commitment: You want to be together out of desire to be together because you contribute to one another & feel good together

When Esther ran across the idea of dragging Jerry off with her,
she had no idea the depth of satisfaction,
that was waiting for her in vibrational escrow.
Iow, when she first made the decision that she wanted to go with him,
-took her some time to talk him into it-

when she first made the decision that she wanted to go with him,
she was looking very peripherally at who they would be, together!
But their life continues to expand-
iow, their relationship becomes more, not less, as time goes by,
as each of them expands into something more,
as each is out living life,
and each is contributing to vibrational escrow,
and each of them are closing the gaps on their vibrational escrow,
it feels BETTER TO BE TOGETHER than anything else.
And so they stay together, you see!

Not out of commitment, out of desire!
Out of calling. Out of inspiration.

from the clip
Abraham-Hicks: What kind of relationship do you want

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Re: Quotes on Relationships

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Segment Intending.
BUT do NOT (by default) segment-intend what you do not want- per example by watching TV!

(Dealing with mean people)


HS:
When all that I'm listening to you, all the YouTube videos, I came across one that it really touched me. Because I know that I was... my brother-in-law was very rude. He has been very rude with my mother-in-law, and that always bothered me so much. And I guess I was so focused into that particular thing, that (...) I called it into my own life. And my son is so mean to me! I mean he is so disrespectful...(Abe: doesn't matter!) and then... now before, I was like, why? Why, why? And I was just like, it was hurting me! But now (...) I'm like more like: Okay, maybe I did that to...

Abe:
Stop just for a moment! This occurred to Esther the other day. You know, we've been talking about Esther gets her notebook, and she writes the name of the segment. And then she just reaches for feeling words, that foster in her the feeling, that the word implies. She talks about how she loves this and how she appreciates this, and she acknowledges this, and this, and she literally sets her own vibrational tone. Well, without meaning to, that's what your story was just doing!

It was like a segment in which you were intending future problems, with these people.
Esther said to herself the other day: "So, I segments intended 30 times today!" and she'll sit, it takes about a minute or two for a page, she writes so fast, you can't read it later. But it really brings the feeling that she's wanting!

And then she turned on television for an hour, and she thought "huh, I wonder if that's segment intending, too!? Watching that, thinking about that, feeling like this is interesting... isn't it?"

So when you tell the stories the way that they feel good to you- oh your segment is intended. And the next experience you have with the subjects of that segment, will feel good to you.

But as you're noticing, or remembering the injustices that have come to you, and in the conversation you are setting the tone of that- then isn't it logical that that's the disrespected person, that you take into the next segment? So, that when you do that often enough- somebody who has never disrespected anybody, will disrespect you.

Because that's the vibration you've got going on!
You see? Don't you love knowing this?

from the youtube clip How to deal with disrespect - ABRAHAM HICKS 2020
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Re: Quotes on Relationships

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Soulmates and Twinflames

HS:
My question is: Soul mate versus twin flame. And how the differences between that... um, like, when you have synchronicities with someone intensely, what does that mean?

Abe:
Well, people want to romanticize Alignment.
And that really is what it is! In other words, you all come in clusters. Your relationship to your own family, is a very strong vibrational connection. And so, what you're really describing is- when you feel a connection to someone, what's happened is: You've just met them on a vibrational wavelength, and you can meet on any vibrational wavelength- and it can feel like a strong connection! Sometimes you can meet somebody, who's just willing to complain with you about the same things you're complaining about, and they feel like your long lost soulmate! (Laughter)

Because, they'll stand by you, they'll be with you, they'll support you and defend you, you see!

And, so the best way to know that you've connected with someone who is really your non-physical counterpart, is for you to hang around in that high good feeling vibration for plenty of time. So that you can tell when you've taken a dip! Because until you know whether or not you've taken a dip, you won't know how to recognize someone else! Because as we were saying earlier, when you connect with something, there is momentum even in the connection. When you're offering a vibration and someone else is offering the same vibration, it's brought together by law of attraction. There is always a spark that feels like interest, you see! And so, that's why you're wanting to differentiate between twin flame and soul mate. And to all of those things, we want to say:

ALL of you are soul mates to everyone of you!
In other words, that's the way you feel from your non-physical energy vantage point!


Every single one of you has the potential of enormous harmony with every other being, who is present in this time-space reality. But of course as you've lived life, you've put into your vortex other preferences, besides just being energetically aligned. You want some of your physical awarenesses to be the same. There are many things that life has caused you to want, and you have the potential of satisfying every one of them, you see! And so we would spend no time looking around a crowd, and trying to acknowledge which ones are soul mates and which ones aren't. Because

the only thing that matters is, are you a mate to your own soul in this moment?
Are you a vibrational mate-, are you vibrational in alignment with your own soul?


And if the answer to that is yes, then you'll be able to find those who are a vibrational match to theirs. And two who come together, who are each individually in vibrational alignment with who they are, is what we consider to be the greatest harmony. Not sameness. Not same attitude about all same things! But same vibrational harmonics, which makes for the best kind of relationship.

Enough difference in interest, but the ability to be in alignment- so from that you can extract the best from each other, at all times, yes!


from the youtube clip Abraham Hicks - Soulmate Vs. Twin Flame - When You Feel A Strong Connection To Another
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Re: Quotes on Relationships

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When you get dominated by others...
It's ALL about Attraction!



HS:
Why is it that I let people an ability into what they like or what they want me to be... I don't know who I am, basically.

Abe:
Well you're not alone in that. But it's basically because... it's exactly because... it's precisely because... oh we're out of time. [laughter] It's because coming into this experience, you- like almost everybody else- were focused in your physical way, surrounded by people who wanted behavior from you, that made them feel better.
-So, you were guided away from your guidance system.
-It's also about momentum.
-It's also about that statement that you just made! In other words, you just made a statement that puts you on a grid spinning disc, that's about here (low). And when that's where your disc is spinning, then only people that do that to you, can get on with you.

It's like you get on, and you say: "All right, folks! This is the party we're having: I don't know what I want. I've never known what I want! People just have their way with me. So if you're going to come and play with me, I need you to boss me around. -I don't like it! I'll struggle, I'll complain about it. I'll complain to a lot of people about it, and they'll get on, too. We'll even do it to each other! We'll do it to each other."

So now you know you're doing it, when you find yourself doing that, you might want to pull back from that thought! You might want to try to find other statements, that get you on different disks, now!

It's not ever a good idea for us to attempt disk-jumping.

This jumping is sort of like quantum leaping. This jumping doesn't work very well in an environment like this! Sometimes it works better than others, because we can focus together in a powerful way. But when you feel strongly about something, then the way you feel is because of the vibration that you've got going on. And its relationship to who you really are, and what you really want. So, there's just a momentum that you want to cycle down. Or you can lay some new pipes! So let's take a little bit of time here and lay some new pipes about it! So are you saying to us, that you don't know what you want. Do you think that's really true?

So it isn't, that you don't know what you want! It's that other people seem to know more what they want.
Do you mean that? Or are people really bossing you around?

HS:
Um, I don't know if it's bossing, or manipulating, if that makes any sense?

Abe:
Sort of the same. Here's a really good word: Other people are influencing me around.
"Other people are influencing me around, because they've got more momentum going and I don't have any momentum going. So, every time I come out the door, I just get sucked onto their disc"."

But you see, it's not like that. You're not just getting sucked onto their disk. You practiced being there, before you opened your door! And when you opened your door, you said: "Hello, vibrational (...) compatible person! Hello vibrationally compatible friend! Hello, hello!"
-Jerry thought it'd be great, that there would be islands of incarceration. Rapists all on one island, where they could do it to each other. Murderers all on one island, where they could do it to each other. Thieves on one island, where they could do it to each other. And we said: You've got those "islands". The audience didn't like it, the day that we told them that. Because,

they don't think that the victim should be on the same island with the victimizer! But it's the way it works out!

So what might you say right here and now, to make you change discs? "Come on, come on, come on!!!?" You CAN`T, can you!
You just have to fall out of the airplane. You're at 30 000 feet (altitude), which is high and cold. Just let it happen, and soon it'll be over. And then, you just lay new pipes. And the way you lay new pipes, is by acknowledging:

"All right. I accept that I am the Creator of my own reality." Do you? (HS: Yes.)
I accept that I'm a vibrational offerer!
I accept that I choose to think thoughts, that place me on these spinning discs, and that law of attraction is going to bring other things like that to me."


You accept all of that, don't you? So, now- maybe- as far as you want to, or need to, or can go right now, is to say:
"I'm glad to know about my point of attraction!
And I'm glad I know that I have choices." -You do, don't you? You can choose general thoughts!


We'll give you some general thoughts to choose:
-I can get this!
-I'm not very good at it.
Which disc would you like to jump on, right now?

HS:
I can get this.

Abe:
-I don't need to figure it out, right now.
-I damn well better figure it out right now!
Which disc would you like to jump on?

-No one understands me!
-All I need is alignment with source.
Which disk would you like to choose?

...These are easy choices for you!
-I'm working too hard at this.
-This is getting easier all the time! I don't have to figure it out, all at once.
Which would you like to choose?

You see, what we're getting at- in other words, "what do I want to add momentum to?"
You're going to have a lot of fun in the days before you, as you begin noticing what momentum you are perpetuating!



from the clip "Abraham Hicks on how to escape the flow of a manipulative person"
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Re: Quotes on Relationships

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Soothing yourself when people haven't been nice to you:
Helpful Self-Talk


(You get into a situation, that) activates that old belief, within you. And that old belief does not jive with what you now want, and you've got discord- and you've got it now. So, now you start soothing yourself. And you say to yourself, as best you can- you just feel around, until it feels better. So, you might say a bunch of things that don't work, until you stumble on one, that does.

But you keep going, until you find it!

So you say: "That person's response to me had far less to do with me, than it did with them."
"Okay somebody who doesn't feel good in the moment can't respond nicely to me, no matter how wonderful I am!"
"Law of Attraction lined us up to get what we got from each other. So there must be something in my vibration, that evoked that! Something that I'm going to gradually change. But I'm sure that this isn't such a personal thing."
"This person is probably behaving that way to a lot of people. It isn't about me."

"Everybody doesn't treat me that way. I have different relationships with different people, and so it can't be that I'm always the unloved or unwanted one! Because lots of times I have wonderful relationships with people. So this has to be something that we've cooked up together. Here it has something to do with the combination of what we're doing!"

"Actually I get along with people really well, and this is sort of an isolated incidence. This isn't the majority of what happens to me: This is an anomaly of what happens to me."

"When something happens like this to me, that gets me thinking! It's actually to my advantage. And whenever I know what I don't want, I always know more clearly what I do want. So what's this making me know, that I want more? Clearly well- I want to get along with people. and I don't want to care too much what anybody else is thinking about me! Because what they're thinking about me has far less to do with me, than what I'm thinking about me or what I'm thinking about them! Thinking about me- how to get to the place where I don't care so much, about what they're thinking about me. I just want to care about what I'm thinking about them! Or what I'm thinking about me. And I've got control of that. And while it's sort of hard right here in this moment, while they're scowling at me, or while they're acting out, or while they're behaving in the way that they are. And while I can't really do anything about it, when I get off to myself, I'm going to make some lists of things that I would rather feel in a moment like this.

"When I meet people, I like the best of both of us to rendezvous. I like to bring uplifting things from them! I like them to feel glad, that they saw me. I want them to greet me in a way, that lets me know that they're glad to see me!
But I realize, when they do that, it's more about who they are, than about who I am. I don't have control of the way people greet me, because I don't have control of how they feel, before I get there. And I'm going to stop taking credit for how they feel, when I get there! Because they already felt that way before I got there. But I'm going to start asking myself: how'd I get here? What is it in my vibration, that made me rendezvous with them in their ornery moment? -That's the question that I want to ask! And I think it's that I keep noticing, that I don't like it when I'm there. So I keep that part active, rather than remembering what I do like!

So I think that I'll write in my book what I liked about this meeting.
What I liked about this meeting, what was good about this, what was good about this, and I'll get all this good stuff so active in my vibration. And in activating the stuff that feels good, the stuff that doesn't feel good will be deactivated."


Although you can't deactivate something!
You have to activate something else.

Because when you try to deactivate it, you activate it!

"So you have to activate something else in order to deactivate it. But there's no such thing as deactivation. And there is such thing as activating something else. So, I'm just going to activate what feels good so much, that now everyone in the world will be a reflection to me, of what I've rendezvoused with. Not of my worthiness state! In other words: I can be ornery, I can be happy, I can be appreciative, I can be blameful, I can be anything. I can be all of those things- and none of them have anything to do with my worthiness!! They're just about my current vibrational state of being.
But these blessed others, who rendezvous with me, are such a reflection of where I am! Such a reflection of where I am. And since I'm trying to figure out where I am- because I'm trying to bridge my beliefs, isn't it beneficial to have all of these people reflecting back to me, where I am?"

So, when somebody says to you: "I don't like you!" -they say it with words or with body language, or with some sort of behavior, you want to stop and say to them:

"You have done such a service to me! Because you've made me realize that you don't like me. Which means I must be offering a vibration that's unlikable. But I'm not changing it, because I want you to like me!
I'm changing it because I don't want to rendezvous with you anymore.
I'm not changing my behavior so that you'll feel better- I'm changing my behavior so I don't keep rendezvousing with the likes of you!
I'm pure positive energy. I'm appreciation! I'm love! I'm upliftment! I'm a teacher of well-being. I'm running around, wanting to spread life in the world, and when I rendezvous with you, I can tell I'm not doing that in this moment!"

from the youtube-clip Abraham Hicks ~ SAY THESE EXACT WORDS WHEN THEY TREAT YOU BADLY ★🧡AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS🧡
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Re: Quotes on Relationships

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Uncheatable Uponable


HS:
I was feeling that way for the last nine months really up until the date the night before I came on this cruise which I was feeling awesome about and then I found out that he's been cheating on me for a really long time.

Abe:
We agree that you all have different levels of how much you're willing to put up with. And whether he's just annoying, or whether he is violating some commitment that the two of you have established- in other words, we get it that there are narrower and wider gaps! But we want to be so bold as to say that,

whoever you are interacting with, is going to violate the commitment
that almost all of you want them to keep!
And the commitment that almost everybody wants everybody
that they're up close to impersonal to keep is,
"I want you to promise to put me first- no matter what."


And that is a commitment that no one keeps!

Because you're not wired like that!
You were not born like that!
You you've come to establish... We would like your marriage vows, or your relationship vows, to go like this:

"Dear one, I want you to know that- as much as I love you, there's someone who comes first before you.
And that is my alignment with the source, within me!
That's my inner being, that's who I'm devoted to.
That's why I'm aligned to.
That's who I'm feeling for.
That's what my commitment is to.

And my promise to you is, that I will give you, as much as I can, the fullness of me!
Not as the separated me.
I'm going to do my best to satisfy my alignment, and therefore give you the gift of living with someone, who has aligned.
And what that will be for you, what that will mean for you, how that will play out for you, is:

I won't be needing or demanding from you behavior, in order to keep myself happy!
My happiness will be dependent upon my focus."


There are people who feel betrayed, if their partners think about other people.
There are people who feel betrayed if their partner doesn't give their undivided attention to them.
There are people who feel jealous if anyone feels happy at the thought, or in the conversation with somebody else!

There are all kinds of degrees of cheating on you, and for the most part, any part of someone else cheating on you just means: "You've taken your attention away from me! And I was dependent upon your attention, being upon me, so that I could feel good! And now you've taken your attention away from me...!" (Towards the HS) This is too strong for you.

But, we really want you all to not be dependent upon anyone for the alignment.
That it is the epitome of looking for love in all the wrong places!


And when you say you've cheated on me, we know. We know there are agreements that you make! We get what you're talking about.

But we would like you to be uncheatable-upon-able!
"I'm stable in my self-respect! My sense of well-being is not dependent upon your behavior."

So what you're really wanting to do, is decide what you want, and become a vibrational match to what you want. And you will attract a partner who is a vibrational match to what you want, you see! And so we're not suggesting that you will not find another partner!

We're just suggesting that you find true alignment with who you are before you go looking!

from the official Abraham Hicks youtube-clip "Uncheatable Uponable", 2014
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Re: Quotes on Relationships

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Disagreements: When you disagree about something important with a loved one, what do you do?

As Esther tries to express to her mother her joy of working with Abraham, her offering terrifies her mother.

The same experience brings blissful joy to one and tremendous terror to the other, because of the set of beliefs that are currently within each of the two women.

As Esther tries to get her mother to understand Abraham, she only makes it worse.

And as her mother tries to get Esther to understand how bad Abraham is, it only makes the relationship worse.

But as each of them steps back from that issue and focuses upon the fact that what they want is HARMONY with one another, and talk about the safe subjects:
"How's the weather? How's the chicken? How's the daughter?
How's father? How are you doing? Are you happy?
I think of you often. I love you very much.
I'm so appreciative of all of the time we have had together.
What you have offered me has meant a great deal.
I think of you every day for one reason or another.
I look around my home and see the beautiful things that you've added and I'm filled with such love as I think of you Mother."

As Esther is focused upon what she is wanting to see in her mother, she extracts harmony forth.

And as her mother focuses upon things she is wanting to see in Esther, she extracts harmony forth.

and as either of them focus upon the one thing that drives both of them crazy, they have a terrible experience.

As you stop trying to get the others to agree with you about everything, and just BE, and seek HARMONY with self, and then let them find their harmony with you as you look for your harmony with them, - then you are in a very good place.


- Abraham
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