The Abe Forum

Why do people resent those who have lots of money?

"Your abundance points out their lack, and they feel jealousy."

- Abraham


-

When success of another makes your heart sing,
your resistance is gone
and your own success soars.

- AH

It's Ok To Want To Be Beautiful!

HS:
How how did you feel about me, wanting to look more attractive?
I mean, I... as I was writing today about that, in my positivistic book- I remember that one time, I felt that it was important for me to accept...

Abe:
You are upon something very important here!
See, here is the way it has come about, not just with you, but with almost all that we know. You have this desire; you are born with it, for freedom and growth and joy. And as you look around the world, you choose things that you want. But because, for the most part, you have not understood (you or anyone else) the power of thought, or how it all fits together, you have found yourself seeing things that you want, that you're not believing that you have.

Or even in the comparison, seeing someone who is beautiful and comparing yourself, and not feeling as beautiful. And so, in the comparison you say: "I don't want those grapes anyway, for they're sour." and so, from that has become the attitude, that it is not proper to be vain! In other words, "one should not give so much attention to something so vain as beauty... after all, beauty is only skin-deep" or, "after all, the true merit of a being is within." -That sort of thing. And all of that is alright. We are not saying that that is not all right to feel that way! What we are saying is, that

when you don't feel that way, but you say the words, then you are resisting.
You're actually adding unto the thing that you do not want!

When you are seeing... let us say that you see a beautiful woman, and everything about her is really just right. Her figure is just right. Her attitude is dynamic, she seems free and happy. She is really the picture of a happy woman! And as you see her- if that picture uplifts you, then that is an indication to you, that you are on your way to that. That which you see harmonizes with that what you want, and in your moment of positive emotion, your InnerBeing is saying: "you and the energy of the universe and that which you are seeing, and the feeling that you have, are all one! You are in harmony with this."

But if you see it, and you find reason to be critical... "Probably never worked a day in her life. Probably just sits around and puts mud packs on her face! Probably has no stress, but..." -you are getting the picture!- then what is happening is: You are in your position of lack, now trying to justify your position of lack. And doing so, by putting the other one down, so to speak. It is a common thing. (...) doesn't matter what it is that they have, that you want- that you don't feel you have, anytime you are feeling jealousy (and you know the feeling!) ...there are only two emotions. One feels good, and one feels bad.

But you know the one called jealousy! The one, when you see something that another has and you want it. But you don't have it, and your Inner Being is shouting to you loudly and clearly that you want this. But you're focused in opposition of it, right now- you're taking the non-physical energy of the universe and sending it in opposition of what you really want. And so, what we would say to you is:

It is alright for you to want anything!!
And we would not call you vain. We would call you a Wanter!

The reason that you have come to feel vanity or see it in others, is because you are coming from position of lack. And then you are trying to ease the pain of that position of lack, by saying "I don't want that anyway", you see. There are only two ways to get rid of negative emotion! First of all, let us remind ourselves what is negative emotions.

Negative emotion is your Inner Being reminding you, that you're resisting whatever you're giving this thought to.

If someone you did not know called you on the telephone and said: "I will never call you again", you would say: "What? Who cares?" -in other words, you didn't want them to begin with, so they're going away wouldn't involve you. And so there would be no negative emotion. But if someone very important to you were to call you on the telephone and say: "I will never see you again!" -you would feel lack. You would feel negative emotion. You're getting the point. Therefore, what we are saying is: Whenever you are feeling negative emotion, your Inner Being is saying: "you are not allowing this, that you'r wanting. You are resisting it."

You take part of the non-physical energy and you say: "I want."
And then in your negative feeling, you are taking part of the non-physical energy and say: "I want it, but I'm not going to get it."
And so, that is resistance. That is what that is, a little tug of war. That his why it is uncomfortable. You're not in the flow of things, you see.

HS:
Now I enter a sketching class that I took. The teacher said... we sketched each other, we were looking at it in two pairs. And she said, an older person who is much more interesting to sketch... there's a lot more to sketch there. Well, a young person doesn't have the interesting lines, and that's what came to my mind, and that may be part of even the negative... I was wondering. Should I be... What you're saying to me is in the sense that "what I want is legitimized. That's all there is. I want it.

Abe:
...And that is ENOUGH.

HS:
...And that's ENOUGH!

Abe:
You cannot want something without having the potential of having it! It defies law. If you are wanting it, it can be yours.

And you have this glorious guidance system, telling you every time (when) you're going astray from having it! Every time you feel negative emotion, that is your guidance system telling you: you're pushing against something you want! Relax! Change the thought and let it be.

HS:
I do! It feels like I want my body to catch up with the rest of me! It seems like, in terms of money and and relationships, and there's a lot of things which I will feel as if I've made quantum-leaps of what I was before I knew! But if...

Abe:
Absolutely.

HS:
And then... and I thought I were trying too hard.

Abe:
That is part of it. Trying too hard is resisting! For this reason... when you think about this... if you decide that you want to go to the grocery store and buy a quart of milk. Did you ever find yourself trying too hard? Or do you just go get it? And the reason you just go get it is, because you have absolute knowledge! ...You know that you have the ability to go. You know you have the money in your purse. You know the milk will be there. When you get there... in other words, that there is no doubt! And so there is no trying against anything!

And so, whenever you're trying too hard, what is happening is: There is a part of you, that is not believing that it can be. And so, in your wanting to compensate with action, you offer more action. And what we are wanting you to understand is, that you cannot act enough.

There is not enough action in the world to compensate for your taking part of the energy, and sending it in the other direction in the form of negative emotion.

If you've got negative emotion about something, you're stuck there. And no action is going to change it!

The only thing that's going to change it, is by releasing the thought.

Which is bringing forth the negative emotion, and replacing it with the thought that brings positive emotion. And then, the action will come joyfully, you see!

HS:
Yes, many many examples are flashing through my head now...

Abe:
If you'll just look for reasons to feel positive emotion! And the best time to do it, is in a time when you're feeling negative emotion. In other words your positive aspect book will serve you very well. Even a mental one, if you will stop for a moment and say: "Now, wait a minute. I'm feeling rotten here." -Don't try to figure out why you're feeling rotten! What you tend to do is, you try to justify it, because at the core of your being, you're wanting to be right. You're wanting to be balanced, you're wanting to feel good. And so, when you don't feel good, the tendency is to try to justify.

We heard Esther, regarding the hotel that kept being not prepared for them. And so, as she is making her statements of criticism to them, she is feeling negative emotion. And then she feels like she must defend her statements of criticism! And so she says things like: "I have called them just today. I wrote them a letter. What kind of... why don't these people listen? What kind of staff do they have?"

All the while she is now picking on them, attracting more negative from them in an attempt to justify her own negative emotion! And we say:

You don't have to justify your negative emotion!
Your negative emotion is your guidance.
Acknowledge your negative emotion!

Nobody's judging you! You don't have to justify your position. Acknowledge your negative emotion, recognize you'r resisting something that you want- and then look for the positive aspects within this. And as you look for the positive aspects, you are feeling changes. And as soon as you're feeling changes, you're no longer resisting, and as soon as you're no longer resisting: You're getting what you want.


From the youtube clip "Abraham Hicks - It's Ok To Want To Be Beautiful"


outtake:

What Jealousy is

But you know the one called jealousy! The one, when you see something that another has and you want it. But you don't have it, and your Inner Being is shouting to you loudly and clearly that you want this. But you're focused in opposition of it, right now- you're taking the non-physical energy of the universe and sending it in opposition of what you really want. And so, what we would say to you is:

It is alright for you to want anything!!
And we would not call you vain. We would call you a Wanter!

Abraham Hicks

If you are really tuned into who you are,
you CAN'T see a flaw in someone.
And if you see a flaw in someone-
it's not THEIR flaw.

Abraham Hicks

Uncheatable Uponable


HS:
I was feeling that way for the last nine months really up until the date the night before I came on this cruise which I was feeling awesome about and then I found out that he's been cheating on me for a really long time.

Abe:
We agree that you all have different levels of how much you're willing to put up with. And whether he's just annoying, or whether he is violating some commitment that the two of you have established- in other words, we get it that there are narrower and wider gaps! But we want to be so bold as to say that,

whoever you are interacting with, is going to violate the commitment
that almost all of you want them to keep!
And the commitment that almost everybody wants everybody
that they're up close to impersonal to keep is,
"I want you to promise to put me first- no matter what."

And that is a commitment that no one keeps!

Because you're not wired like that!
You were not born like that!
You you've come to establish... We would like your marriage vows, or your relationship vows, to go like this:

"Dear one, I want you to know that- as much as I love you, there's someone who comes first before you.
And that is my alignment with the source, within me!
That's my inner being, that's who I'm devoted to.
That's why I'm aligned to.
That's who I'm feeling for.
That's what my commitment is to.

And my promise to you is, that I will give you, as much as I can, the fullness of me!
Not as the separated me.
I'm going to do my best to satisfy my alignment, and therefore give you the gift of living with someone, who has aligned.
And what that will be for you, what that will mean for you, how that will play out for you, is:

I won't be needing or demanding from you behavior, in order to keep myself happy!
My happiness will be dependent upon my focus."

There are people who feel betrayed, if their partners think about other people.
There are people who feel betrayed if their partner doesn't give their undivided attention to them.
There are people who feel jealous if anyone feels happy at the thought, or in the conversation with somebody else!

There are all kinds of degrees of cheating on you, and for the most part, any part of someone else cheating on you just means: "You've taken your attention away from me! And I was dependent upon your attention, being upon me, so that I could feel good! And now you've taken your attention away from me...!" (Towards the HS) This is too strong for you.

But, we really want you all to not be dependent upon anyone for the alignment.
That it is the epitome of looking for love in all the wrong places!

And when you say you've cheated on me, we know. We know there are agreements that you make! We get what you're talking about.

But we would like you to be uncheatable-upon-able!
"I'm stable in my self-respect! My sense of well-being is not dependent upon your behavior."

So what you're really wanting to do, is decide what you want, and become a vibrational match to what you want. And you will attract a partner who is a vibrational match to what you want, you see! And so we're not suggesting that you will not find another partner!

We're just suggesting that you find true alignment with who you are before you go looking!

from the official Abraham Hicks youtube-clip "Uncheatable Uponable", 2014

Monogamie, Freedom, Deepest Alignment and Sexual Variety

Alignment is not about another one, but solely about YOUR focus:
"The object of attention to which you flow your love is much more irrelevant than anyone understands!"


HS:
I in my situation, I meet a variety of women which you spoke about, when you come into um... and I'm being honest, I can't... when you come into this experience, it's for the variety! And I've almost rationalized this in my head right now. That, maybe, a monogamous relationship or a marriage to one person, "forever" is an unreasonable expectation. Simply because every day I turn around, I see another beautiful woman, and I see a another beautiful woman, and I feel like "wow". I literally feel something sometimes... and so I'll stop, and just say "excuse me, you are gorgeous!" -and I don't mean anything. But I just want to leave, but I'm impressed by that.

And again, that's what I want to feel here! So I don't notice it as much there, so because I'm putting my attention to other places- like, out of habit in the past relationships... I mean I haven't been, you know, I guess, well, faithful. Simply because I rationalized in my head "well, hey I'm supposed to explore! And this is what I'm doing!" So now, I don't think it's a good thing. Because I feel like it's unfair to her, if I continue this way. And I want to... I want to commit! Be completely here, where... but then I feel like I'm limiting myself if I do that. If I stay. And there... so many other things to explore! Or people to explore.

Why would I stay, and just be happy forever? I'm supposed to stay forever. For 50, 60 more years! I guess you know, and not explore the rest of this? (Audience starts to laugh) I'm... I'm not sure if that was a question, like... I'm not sure if I can be happy here, and stay here forever. I can do that, but then I feel like, now if I decide to stay here and do that, I miss out on all this wonderful other things to explore!

Abe:
Well, you're expressing the sentiment of approximately 50% of your population, or or more! Well, let's sort this out.

First of all, it's important to acknowledge that there is not a giant right and wrong in the sky, and that the rules that have been written about that, that have been interpreted through man, are always interpreted through the lens of what is seen to be most beneficial to the one, who is interpreting it. And so,

there really is not a right or wrong about whether you are monogamous or whether you have multiple relationships!

There just isn't.
And you are right about the variety, because the variety stimulates your awareness of what you want! And through all of it, you expand and become more. But we want to say, that it IS possible to- because you said as you began here today, something really significant: You said "I want to love this person." And while it sounded like what you were saying is: "I want to love this person. I want to be able to omit all of the others, and just give my undivided attention to this one person, and I want this one person to satisfy me. I want to just love this one person!" -did you notice how we took it to mean, what it really means? Which is: "I want to be in a continual state of love." In other words,

the object of attention to which you flow your love is much more irrelevant than anyone understands!

And this speaks to what we've been talking about: The backwardness of all relationships, but especially these love relationships. Because what most people are saying is: "I want to feel this love. And you need to be everything that I need you to be: So that I can feel it.

And no one, no singular person has the capacity to be all of that, for any other person!

So then we say to you: You're wanting to take the responsibility for that alignment!
It's not an object of attention, that aligns you that you want you want alignment and when you show yourself that you can find that alignment, then everything in your experience is going to take on a different level of necessity.

Now we're not trying to talk you out of exploring all of the variety, and enjoying it. That's not the point of this conversation! The point of this conversation is to help you to realize, that what you're reaching for- this deep level of alignment- is possible.

And that, when you find it, then often these relationships that you enter into, these monogamous relationships can be so rich and delicious because you're standing in one place with one person so to speak, while the two of you are evolving together. So there's never-ending of the exploration! So, it doesn't get boring!

In other words, you keep discovering more depth and breadth in the relationship that you have.
Which isn't possible in the relationships as you're moving from place to place!

You already said, it doesn't last very long. Because it's not based upon what's coming from the inside! It's me, trying to affect the inside from the outside. So now, relative to the subject of what's right for any individual in terms of having one partner, or many- as we said, there's not a giant right or wrong in the sky about it. But here's what goes wrong:

So, most men are really seeking freedom. And we're teaching you, that the freedom that you're seeking is the freedom from the bondage of resistance that is always self-imposed. But most men are looking for Freedom, most women are looking for security. Security, that they'll only find when they come into alignment with who they are. But they're looking for it through a partner. So, she's looking for more security, which makes him feel less free. He's looking for more freedom, which makes her feel less secure. And so, that's the basis of most contention in most relationships!

So let's say that you meet someone, and you've already decided that you really like exploration on all subjects. You don't want to spend all your time with one person, in regard to anything! And you've shown yourself, that you can be tuned in, tapped in, turned on- and you're experiencing a lot of variety on a lot of fronts, and you're really happy. And you're offering a vibration about that, that is purely that vibration: It's who you are. It's what you want! And: it's what you offer, vibrationally. Well, if it's what you offer vibrationally- the law of attraction is going to reach out there, and find you someone who resonates with that perfectly!

And if you decide that you want a long-term relationship, it's a long-term relationship with someone who agrees with you, on this subject of variety. So, there's no contention! There's no feeling less than Who You Are! It takes a really tuned in tapped in turned on person, to be able to be in a relationship with somebody else... in other words, that kind of relationship that you're looking for would require two people who are not looking to each other for their reassurances! Who have found their reassurances through alignment with source.

And then, what you're doing in terms of your physical behavior and activity, is irrelevant.
Are you hearing that? The the more you're depending upon the other person to be what you need them to be, so that you can feel better- that is at the basis of trying to control the behavior of others! In other words, there's nothing in all of the world more uncomfortable, than to try to control the behavior of someone, who intends something differently than what you want them to intend!

So let's go back to this. So, if you are a person who has decided that you want variety, and you are true to that intention , not feeling guilty about it, not worrying about it, not feeling that you're doing something wrong- but really in vibrational alignment with it, the universe will bring you a partner who feels the same way. And you will live happily ever after, together.
But let's say that that's what you want, but it's not what you think you want. But you worry about it, and you want it, but you've had so many relationships with other people who didn't want you to have it, and so:

You want it- but. You want it, but. You want it, but. You want it, but! You want it, but... so, you're going to attract to yourself someone who is a vibrational match to the very thing that you worry about! and then you're going to have that sort of strain or struggle going on, within YOU!

Let's say, it's two people who have decided that they are happier in a committed relationship.
Let's say that they're aware of the pitfalls in a lot of sexual exploration. You've had enough variety that you're pretty much clear about what you want: You're no longer looking for other people to fulfill you. You found a way to find alignment with who you really are, and so, you are really in alignment with the idea of having an experience with someone, that is richer and deeper. It's what you want, and you're not feeling like you're missing out. You're not feeling that you're losing out- because you have brought yourself into alignment with that idea, so, that you're offering that pure intention well.

Then the law of attraction in the universe will deliver to you someone, who feels just like that, you see!

-No right or wrong in it. You really do want the universe to match you up with people, who are in alignment with your intentions! And what goes wrong in this relationship-thing is, that you've never really allowed yourself to think and believe and be, the way you think you want to be! You've got mixed energy all over the place about that subject, you see! And a way to bring that together is pretty much through meditation: quiet the mind and allow. Or, every time it comes up, come into alignment!

In other words, every time you see a beautiful woman, and you think: "oh, I would like to taste a little bit of that!" -and then, you feel the guilt wash over you- you feel the negativity of it. And you've gone right to the specifics! -Oh yeah. People die over this! People get shotguns over this. Uh, people get divorce over this! In other words, all the specifics begin to loom in you- go more General. (Then) you say: "Wait a minute, wait a minute! We aren't assigned a specific partner, in anything! The more we interact with others, the more broad and wonderful our experience is." And as you bring yourself into that better feeling, general place, again and again and again- so that your vibration is clear, and your vibration is pure, you see... The thing that you're grappling with here, you can hardly believe that you're visiting with Source energy.

...And, that Source energy is not only agreeing, but encouraging you to do something, that the majority of the population has been telling you for a very long time is a wrong thing!
But the majority of the population has been believing, that their happiness is dependent upon your behavior, in a lot of different ways, that have bound you!

We want you to give up your need to please others, relative to all things!
Because you will never have the happiness that you told us you want- the alignment and the love that you told us that you want, as long as you're resenting others, holding you in behavioral patterns that are not true to your desire.

That's huge!! That's huge, you see!


So the audience is all sitting here, most of them are completely traumatized, because they have resigned themselves to living within relationships, in order to please another. But we're not kidding you you're never going to be happy in a relationship that you feel, binds you, you see! And you are the only one who can unleash the binding. Because it's not about your behavior, and it's not about how many women you sleep with. It's not about any of that!

It's about what you do with your mind, that allows the fullness of who you are, to be present!

And it'll surprise you, how- when you come into complete alignment with who you are, how much less interaction you need with all those other people, that you were looking for, for that support to begin with!

In other words, when you tune in, to who you are, and you really allow source to flow through you, you're happy in a monogamous relationship. You're happy in any relationship setting, that you establish!
-Did we get there for you?

HS:
Yeah, yeah! Um, I think I got it. I'm going to have to listen to this a few times, over and over, uh...

Abe:
We were visiting with someone a few years ago, who had come to the decision that he was no longer happy with his current mate. And said in rather clear terms, that he was ready to move on, and wanted to know what we thought about it. And we said of course, "you can move on, and of course, there are a lot of other wonderful things for you to explore. But since we're aware of everyone that exists in the environment, and aware of what's in your Vortex, we said to this person: "If you move out of this relationship, looking for the things you want, you're less likely to find all of the things that life has shown you that you want, in any one place more, than this place! In other words, what we were saying:

-While you're dissatisfied when you move over >> there, you'll be dissatisfied because << these things will be missing.
-And when you move over << there, you'll be dissatisfied because >> these things are missing!

When you move over there, you'll be dissatisfied because these things are missing and there are a lot of beautiful faces around, that are missing so many of the other wonderful things that are really important to you: like really caring about the physical well-being of your daughter. In other words, your relationship is so much richer than you have yet allowed yourself to discover it. Because, you haven't been looking at it from the eyes of source!

Which is what you said that you wanted. So, we really would like the first question, that is so big, to be resolved within you, before you even move to the second one! Because once that first question is resolved, and you're in alignment with who you are, we think the second question will look entirely different to you.

HS:
All right, that makes sense so what what I gather right now is pretty much I can move and go into a different situation but if I'm looking for that one particular person, to hold everything to keep me in line, I'll never find it!

Abe:
Because that one particular person is YOU! And your relationship with your Inner Being!


from the youtube-clip "Abraham Finally Opens Up About Cheating And Multiple Partners! Abraham Hicks 2024"

-A sidenote about the name of this clip, that "Abe would finally open up" about the topic: It is not so, that Abe would have ever resisted to give this answer! There are much older workshops than this one, where they have already said the very same thing.

Nothing is more annoying than to be in a place of feeling not very good-
and have some bright eyed, bushy tailed person trying to fix you!

Abraham Hicks