The Abe Forum

(See also: Non-Abe Quotes on this topic: 1)

Justifying amplifies resistance & pushes you towards what you do not want

[When you] try to justify your negative emotion, by trying to point out all of the reasons why they are wrong and you are right... that is just furthering this non-physical avalanche of energy towards what you do not want.

[In justifying you are focusing on your resistance, so you are creating a situation where] you will resist and resent and justify again.

And so we say, you don't have to justify the way you feel.
The way you feel is the way you feel.
And no matter how justified you are in your negative emotion, you are still messing up your future.

- Abraham

I LOVE this theme!!! It solves almost every problem!!


"Ask yourself: Do I want to feel right- or happy?"

Abraham

Don't defend!

Don't try to figure out why you're feeling rotten! What you tend to do is, you try to justify it, because at the core of your being, you're wanting to be right. You're wanting to be balanced, you're wanting to feel good. And so, when you don't feel good, the tendency is to try to justify.

We heard Esther, regarding the hotel that kept being not prepared for them. And so, as she is making her statements of criticism to them, she is feeling negative emotion. And then she feels like she must defend her statements of criticism! And so she says things like: "I have called them just today. I wrote them a letter. What kind of... why don't these people listen? What kind of staff do they have?"

All the while she is now picking on them, attracting more negative from them in an attempt to justify her own negative emotion! And we say:

You don't have to justify your negative emotion!
Your negative emotion is your guidance.
Acknowledge your negative emotion!

Nobody's judging you! You don't have to justify your position. Acknowledge your negative emotion, recognize you'r resisting something that you want- and then look for the positive aspects within this. And as you look for the positive aspects, you are feeling changes. And as soon as you're feeling changes, you're no longer resisting, and as soon as you're no longer resisting: You're getting what you want.


From the youtube clip "Abraham Hicks - It's Ok To Want To Be Beautiful"

Apologies and Forgiveness are letting go of what is holding you OOTV.
(Source never apologizes, because sources never condemned to begin with!)

HS:
My question is how does source energy see apologizing, or apology?

Abe:
Unnecessary. Source never does it. Source never apologizes, because sources never condemned to begin with!


So there's no undoing to do.
But from a practical standpoint, in terms of what we are talking about here today-

anything that makes you feel better is a good thing.

So our friend was talking about wanting to undo the center. And an apology is a little bit like trying to undo an argument. Only you can't undo the argument -you just reactivate it! Because you're undoing it from outside the vortex. Because you're focused on it, which takes you outside the vortex.

That's why our answer about how source sees it- it was so blunt we've said source doesn't get into forgiveness, because it's like overcoming the judgment! But source didn't judge to begin with. So there's no overcoming. And yet, someone who- let's speak in human terms, you're asking about source. Let's talk about you!

So, when you forgive, it would be like going into the vortex.
It would be like letting go of what was keeping you out of the vortex, and going in!

And maybe, "apology" and "forgiveness" or are sort of the same thing: It's letting go of what's holding you out. It's like saying to whoever you're forgiving, or whoever you're apologizing to, it's like saying: I'm no longer going to use this as my excuse to not be in the vortex. But but it's a little bit risky. In you're no longer using it, you're still focused on it!

HS:
It might reactivate it!

Abe:
Yes. Precisely.

HS:
Yeah, well, I've noticed that. At least before today that I had an addiction to being right.

Abe:
It's an epidemic. (Huge laughter) You'r not the only one who has it! It was born out of the competitive world of measuring the piles, and comparing them. And so a lot of people... Esther wrestles that to the ground, at least once a day! Because there's something about being right, that you've been taught that seems to have some reward.

And and we just want being in the vortex to be a higher criteria, then being right!
Because, everyone gets to have their perspective.
Which means, everybody gets to be right.

And just because you differ in your perspective, and so you differ in what you believe is right, doesn't make... it's not a very good argument, for anything that feels good, or will benefit you!

HS:
When I'm in the middle of being right or wanting to be right or being driven or feeling driven to be right, it's like...

Abe:
Just ride it out. It's like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute: Don't worry! It'll be over, soon. (Big laughter)
In other words, sometimes in that free fall, there isn't anything else you can do! Because you've already got the momentum going. But in light of a conversation that we've had today, you could make a decision to get really general, really fast! In other words, for example, you want to talk about a situation where you wanted to be right?

HS:
Yes okay it's with my daughter. And I push against the way...

Abe:
All right! That's as far as you need to go with that!
So, let's say that you have a disagreement about something. And you're sure you're right, and you're expressing it, and you're not feeling good. And now it's compounded, because now you're out of the vortex. And now it seems like the reason you're out of the vortex is, because of this situation! Which makes you resent it even more.

And so, the more specific you try to be, the more out of the vortex you are!

So now in light of the conversation that we've had here today, you decide to take a more general stance. And so you think, specific to the situation, you know you're right, and she's wrong. And specific to the situation she's sure she's right, and you're wrong- specific to the situation!

But generally speaking, and in terms of emotion, you adore this girl.
You love her! You love her! You love her. She loves you!
Generally speaking, you really love each other!!
Specifically, you're really hard to deal with.

Generally speaking, you really... and so, as you get general- you go in the vortex!
Isn't that a really good understanding? You're right in the vortex. And then you say: "Oh, now I'm in there. I love her. Now maybe we can work that out?" ohhhh don't go there!! It's too soon!

Don't go there, don't go there.... till you're stable in the vortex!
Don't don't go there! Don't don't sacrifice the vortex for the specific of needing to be right.
STAY in there.

That's what is unconditional love is: Remaining in the vortex, no matter what.
Because that matters more!

And so now what happens next:
You hang around there, more. Now- the vortex, who has already orchestrated circumstances and events to give you exactly the specifics that you're looking for, can now begin to reveal to you the specifics, you see! You don't want to be right, and her to be wrong. You want both of you to be right! You just think in order for both of you to be right, she has to agree with you!

HS (laughing and crying at the same time): Right!! She thinks the same way!

Abe:
And what's interesting about that is: Everybody thinks that! "I want you to be right with me. So, come over here, and believe like I do!" and how is that working out? It's not working out very well, is it?

So, unconditional love is seeing the subject at hand through the eyes of source.
And source always finds a reason to love.

And when you do, no matter how many reasons you've found not to- that's irrelevant!- right here, right now, where all of your power is, where you meet YOU- you come into alignment completely, with who you are. And love the feeling of it! We saw how you love the feeling of it! You love the feeling of love. And so, as you come into alignment with that ,and you practice the feeling of that, then more specific thoughts come, that complement and enhance and dovetail with that vibration!

Then the relationship just continues to expand, and evolve, and be all of the things, that all those moments in time were issues have caused you to ask for the specifics- every argument you had, caused the creation of something that you want. But we would like to say to all of you, and we think you're ready to hear it now! Where, maybe at the beginning of yesterday morning, you might not have heard it so easily. We really like saying this to you, knowing that now you're going to get it in the way that we mean it:

The specifics that you think you want, are not anywhere close to what the vortex is able to deliver!

Because you've been putting those pieces there so incrementally, you have no real conscious idea of what the big picture, that you've created, is! You can sense it. You can sort of kind of feel it. But you can't articulate it yet!

But as you hang around in the vortex longer, you'll be able to translate it into real-life experience. Which will make you feel that "hands in the clay"- feeling of creating your own experience. THATS that feeling of pride! And appreciation, for your ability to create!

And there isn't anything that makes you feel RIGHTER than that.

Because you begin to recognize all the little pieces that you put together!

from the clip Abraham Hicks Apologies And Being Right

Why you shouldn't say "Yes" as long as you feel like "No".
You are not "Ego-driven" when you follow what your Alignment calls you to (aka, what feels better)!


HS:
I have a ex-business partner that is... I just haven't been feeling right about things. I've tried to...

Abe:
Ex, for a reason, huh?

HS:
Yeah. And we've tried different things and I've decided, you know, what for this year I just need to let it go. Just let it be away from me, for a little while. And recently, he's wanted to go on a trip with some of my friends, and I was asked the question of whether or not I was okay with that. And my initial thought or feeling was "no". But I give myself a hard time with saying no! Because who I want to be is the person who is not ego driven. And would accept...

Abe:
We don't want you to be ego driven. We want you to be Alignment-called!
There's a difference between being driven, and being inspired.

And so, when you realize that you've put it all in your vortex. And now your vortex is calling you to it- when you think about what you're inclined to say "yes" to, and what you're inclined to say "no" to, don't let that be a bad thing, to not feel like you want to say "yes" to something! It isn't!

That's like saying: "I'm going to get on the highway. And even though there are these lines that represent lanes... I don't want to be guided by that! So I'm going to drive all around."


And we say, that's fine- except nobody else really understands that. And it's going to make a lot of trouble in your world!
So sometimes it's helpful to think about what you're saying yes to. Because every subject is really two subjects: Wanted and unwanted. And so you can softly just say: "What I really want is...". When the impulse to say "no" comes up: "No. I don't really want to do that."

If you justify all the reasons you don't want to do that, you activate all that old stuff which is now present, now. Which now is affecting every relationship you have- and that's why you wisely and intuitively know, that's not the way to go about it. So, if you say: "well, what is it that I want to say yes to?" that softens it, first of all. And then you can think about what it is you really like! "Well. I really like my friends. And I really like the easiness that we all have together. And one of the reasons that we like to be together... what I'm saying yes to, one of the reasons that we like to be together is, that we are for the most part on the same wavelength. And it's something where I really want something... I don't want to work at it. I really want relaxation about it. I want to feel easy about it." This is the thing- oh, such a good question! THIS is the thing that we want all of you to hear, about this:

You are not inappropriate when you take the Path of least Resistance!

You mostly don't know that, because you've been trained: If it's not hard, you're not getting anywhere. And if you don't struggle, then it doesn't really count. And if there's not some pain, then there can't be any gain... and those are all such flawed premises!!

They fly in the face of the laws of the universe as we know them to be. So we want you to soothe yourself into saying: "It's all right for me to let my alignment come first. And so, if I'm faced with a situation, where I know my alignment is going to be challenged- there's nothing wrong, with you taking the Path of Least Resistance! Because when you accomplish a resistant free path, you get Alignment. And when you get Alignment, you get resources. You get Replenishment! You get stuff to give to everyone.

If you are not selfish enough to align yourself with your resources, you don't have anything to give anyone.

And haven't you all had the experience, where you did something that you really didn't want to do- and then it just kept showing you why you didn't want to do it? And so, the way we talked about that here today, was by saying: This thought must turn to this thing, and this thought must turn to this thing. So here's what you got to do, when someone hits you with something, and it hits you right here- if you can't turn this thought to this thought: Don't do it. -That's the answer, isn't it!

So- could you do that? Could you say "well, that was then, this is now. And we're different people." -You can't usually do that all of a sudden, can you? -To turn that thought about a past relationship, to this thought about a past relationship- we wouldn't just do it on the fly. We wouldn't do it in real time. We wouldn't say... it's sort of like saying: "Well my vibrational meter tells me that the way I feel about you, and everything that's come down is going to result in more misery. But I think I'll just play it out, and try to solve it in the middle of the misery! We'll just fight it out. We'll just fight it out, until it gets better!" -you hear what we're saying, don't you?

And so, if you can't move it in the vibrational stage, then don't move toward it!

And so, "no" is the right answer.
And if you want to soften it a little bit, you could say: "I have to say "no", because I'm not in the right place for us, to have a good outcome!"

In other words, that's telling it like it is. "I have to say no, not because there's something wrong with you. But because I haven't come to the resolution that I need to be at, that I now demand of myself. I gotta have fun, or I don't want to do that."

from the youtube clip Abraham Hicks - Saying yes and saying no


Outtake:


You are not inappropriate when you take the Path of least Resistance!

You mostly don't know that, because you've been trained: If it's not hard, you're not getting anywhere. And if you don't struggle, then it doesn't really count. And if there's not some pain, then there can't be any gain... and those are all such flawed premises!!

They fly in the face of the laws of the universe as we know them to be. So we want you to soothe yourself into saying: "It's all right for me to let my alignment come first. And so, if I'm faced with a situation, where I know my alignment is going to be challenged- there's nothing wrong, with you taking the Path of Least Resistance! Because when you accomplish a resistant free path, you get Alignment. And when you get Alignment, you get resources. You get Replenishment! You get stuff to give to everyone.

If you are not selfish enough to align yourself with your resources, you don't have anything to give anyone.

Abraham Hicks

Being Happy
is a VERY PERSONAL thing,
and it really has NOTHING to do with anyone else.

Abraham Hicks

If you are really tuned into who you are,
you CAN'T see a flaw in someone.
And if you see a flaw in someone-
it's not THEIR flaw.

Abraham Hicks

Your goal right now is to just stop paddling upstream.
Stop trying to defend yourself,
or your position,
or your decisions,
or your rightness.
Stop defending anything.
And just float in your boat.

- AH