The Abe Forum

I recently came across a photo of a very handsome police officer and I was wowed by how much he was my type.
But immediately that appreciation was followed by insecurity.

Here's the culprit of my realisations
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/801781539891227822/


My trail of thoughts was in that order :
- Wow! Well, hello sir!
- He's so exactly my type
- Wait, he wouldn't look at me twice
- But I want it!
- But what you want won't want you back!
- It's unfair!
- Guys like him are in high demand so I need to compete and be perfect to get him
- Uh, the thought of that guy wanting another woman hurts!
- I'm too ugly for x, y and z reasons and I'm aiming too high

As you can see, I carried a lot of unwanted beliefs and thoughts and I didn't realise it until something I really like/want came along. Even if it's just in picture.

I feel like if I'm really into someone, he won't be into me or not that much. So I feel condemned to meet people I'm not that into and since it's not a hell yes, then it's a hell no for me. Or I'll meet a guy I'm 100% into, but I'll have to deal with rejection or jealousy on my part because of insecurity.

To put simply, I believe what I want doesn't want me back.

Any quotes from Abe on that matter? Can what you want not want you back? Any suggestions?

I'm going to look for thoughts that feel better and come back with them here but I'd like to hear wise words from you guys first

Hi and JtA!
Let's go through this, step by step...

Jet'aimeAussi wrote: ↑Sat Jun 15, 2024 6:23 pm I recently came across a photo of a very handsome police officer and I was wowed by how much he was my type.

Abe call a joyful attraction that you sense a "resonance" with what you desire, aka, with what is in your Vortex.
You could not get this joyfully feeling, when Source (!) would not agree on this being "a match" to what you really want- at least in some significant ways. That is not meaning that you should marry this guy ad hoc. It means, this attraction is a great "next step" towards what you really want, at least.

That is your emotional guidance, on this.

But immediately that appreciation was followed by insecurity.

...So, how did THAT feel? Ahh, it felt BAD. Right? Which means, Source was NOT behind this thought. Source knew this thought to NOT be true.

There is a very easy way to understand your emotions as guidance:

What IS good for you,
FEELS good for you.

(Abe)

You are here on the Abraham Hicks Forum, and so- THIS is your short answer!
We would actually be done with that, if you wouldn't have split energy (and never mind, we all have that to some degree. But the idea is, to train ourself to drop it, step by step).

My trail of thoughts was in that order :
- Wow! Well, hello sir!
- He's so exactly my type
- Wait, he wouldn't look at me twice
- But I want it!
- But what you want won't want you back!
- It's unfair!
- Guys like him are in high demand so I need to compete and be perfect to get him
- Uh, the thought of that guy wanting another woman hurts!
- I'm too ugly for x, y and z reasons and I'm aiming too high

As you can see, I carried a lot of unwanted beliefs and thoughts and I didn't realise it until something I really like/want came along. Even if it's just in picture.

That is actually a wonderful clarity, isn't it? Contrast is SO helpful in pointing out for us, where we have resistances that are in our way to getting our desires. And if you like, try reading your list step by step and guess, which thoughts are those that Source know to be true!

I feel like if I'm really into someone, he won't be into me or not that much. So I feel condemned to meet people I'm not that into and since it's not a hell yes, then it's a hell no for me. Or I'll meet a guy I'm 100% into, but I'll have to deal with rejection or jealousy on my part because of insecurity.

How does all of this feel to you? ...there you have your answer.

To put simply, I believe what I want doesn't want me back.

Any quotes from Abe on that matter? Can what you want not want you back? Any suggestions?

...How about this one?

The others ALWAYS feel towards you, what you feel towards them!
(famous quote!)

You teach each other your respective responsive vibrations. In other words, you don’t feel any way about anyone,
without their helping you to feel that way! It’s really co-creation.

We’ll even go further, and bolder, and louder, and blunter:
If there’s somebody you don’t like, they don’t like you either!
We have never seen it otherwise.

We have never one time, ever, known someone to adore someone,
that the one that they were adoring, didn’t adore them back!

Now, some are thinking...
“Oh wait a minute. There was that man that I loved with all my heart, and he didn’t love me back.” And we say,
you were offering him insecurity. You were offering him worry. It wasn’t that pure vibration of love!
When you are tuned in, tapped in, turned on — when you are connected to your Source, and holding someone
as your object of attention, and you are genuinely offering that feeling of love and appreciation
— they can’t offer you anything else!

Abraham

...There are 10 pages more, full of great Relationship-quotes by Abraham in our Quote-Subforum.

I'm going to look for thoughts that feel better and come back with them here but I'd like to hear wise words from you guys first

That is wonderful. I look forwards to it.
Please keep in mind, that your FIRST order of business is, to get (unconditionally!!) happy with yourself. To kick out this nasty habits of bashing yourself, and thinking so less about you. Not only because doing so feels terrible to you, it will ALWAYS be in the way between you and what you truly want! This trained resistances are screaming in the face of happiness, freedom, joy, power and clarity, and they hinder you to LOVE. When someone can't love themselves, they have nothing to give in a relationship. And they quite likely attract a mate that either thinks less of themselves as well, or even of you!

You don't want that, right?
You- by Law of Attraction- can't have a fulfilling, loving, joy filled relationship, when you are filled with self-hate, insecurity and self-blame. The vibrations don't match up.

Hello lovely Paradise-on-Earth! I remember your beautiful little face and username from the last forum! It's so nice to read you again!

Thank you for the quote, it hits right where it's supposed to! It feels really good and right to know that you can't not be loved if you love and vice versa. And it made me realise that I'm not vibrating love towards these handsome men, I'm vibrating doubt and insecurity. And I didn't even realise it!

You are right that self love and self happiness is a must-have no matter what. And no! I do not want to attract a partner that vibrates lack of self love back to me!

Here's a quick update on what I did to make myself feel better :
- Got off the subject and back into my vortex
- Got the inspiration to find stuff to like myself more about
- Did a list of positive aspects about myself (careful not to trip over myself as it's a sensitive subject)
- Did a list of positive aspects about being single and started appreciating that more too.
- Looked at the photo of the handsome officer and did a list of things I appreciate about him
- Started affirmations like "handsome strong men find me very attractive and irresistible"

It changed my perspective a little and I don't have as many doubts on this as I did when I posted the question.

But here's where I'm at now and this is not the first time I'm there : now, I'm a little too obsessed with this picture and I'm starting to want that specific person which I know nothing about. Every time I have a crush on a guy, I end up like this. It's like he's the only one I want and I don't trust the Universe has plenty lookalikes in stock for me. I want THAT exact one OR ELSE!

Because I've been there plenty of times, I know I'm supposed to relax and just focus on the general qualities of the guy and the Universe will bring it to me. But why does it feel like I'm being denied what I want? Or that I can't have exactly what I want? Why does it feel like I'll have to settle?

Do you lovely quote goddess have any quote for me about this?

Jet'aimeAussi wrote: ↑Tue Jun 18, 2024 10:54 pm Hello lovely Paradise-on-Earth! I remember your beautiful little face and username from the last forum! It's so nice to read you again!

Hi! Im glad!! ...Did you have a different username then? I'm very sorry, but I don't remember yours...!?

Thank you for the quote, it hits right where it's supposed to! It feels really good and right to know that you can't not be loved if you love and vice versa. And it made me realise that I'm not vibrating love towards these handsome men, I'm vibrating doubt and insecurity. And I didn't even realise it!

Isn't that a good thing! To say it with Dr Phil: "You can't change what you don't acknowledge." That is the SO important first step!!

You are right that self love and self happiness is a must-have no matter what. And no! I do not want to attract a partner that vibrates lack of self love back to me!

Here's a quick update on what I did to make myself feel better :
- Got off the subject and back into my vortex
- Got the inspiration to find stuff to like myself more about
- Did a list of positive aspects about myself (careful not to trip over myself as it's a sensitive subject)
- Did a list of positive aspects about being single and started appreciating that more too.
- Looked at the photo of the handsome officer and did a list of things I appreciate about him
- Started affirmations like "handsome strong men find me very attractive and irresistible"

It changed my perspective a little and I don't have as many doubts on this as I did when I posted the question.

Wow. You are efficient!!

(careful not to trip over myself as it's a sensitive subject)

Awesome that you realize this, as well. We CAN NOT "bang things into shape" with willpower! And I am certain you know this. You do not seem to be a newbie in this stuff, at all! You KNOW how it works.

Still, as I see a bird of same feather in you in the way that you know your stuff, and you like to have your hands in the clay, and you know what you want... up to being really stubborn about it -which is GOOD!!! that (as I do, myself... ) you might "try to hard". And this MIGHT (no, it certainly will!!) work against you.

This physical game that we humans play, is set up as a "Co-Creation" between you and YOU, aka your physically focused "I" (=Ego) and your Inner Being/IB (that is NEVER separated from you, in fact, it IS you! It is who you REALLY are!)

So, Abe explained that we humans are like a "two headed monster": one not seperatable Beingness, that has two "heads" that both have their own focus. The "head" of your IB sees ALL the truth. It has the complete overview about all things, that regard the whole of you. It is aware of each tiny desire that you hold- and has fully embraced each single one. Even what you deem to be silly or minor. Your IB IS "you" having become who you rally want to be, and owns all the fulfillment that life caused you to desire. It is the fully whole version of you.

Your physically focused "head"- let's call it the Ego if you want, but please keep in mind that Abe NEVER teach to "kill" or bash or diminish in any way the Ego. It is what is NEEDED to lead a physical life, and it does always what it is capable of, giving the circumstances. But it has a MUCH smaller overview. It sees life through the heavy filters of all it's resistances and beliefs. (And all of that was planned from the very beginning, as we deliberately came here to forget who we really are to a certain degree. We couldn't come to new conclusions in this big way as we do, otherwise).

The clue is, to have both heads look in the same directions. Aka, to find ALIGNMENT with your IB. To TRUST the bigger overview knowing and clarity and the capability and desire of your IB to guide and lead you.
The more you do this, the more you "look through Sources eyes" in love, understanding, power, and insight, and the better you feel, and the faster you get what you REALLY want. Now, don't buck because of the "really want" phrase. You really want what you really want, right? But sometimes, you do not SEE what you really want, from your physical perspective. But, your IB knows and sees it, with it's resistance-free focus!

So, per example, when you want to go south (maybe because you want to travel to Africa from France), you MIGHT want to leave your house through the door (that -for the sake of our example) might be located NORTH! Of course you could try to walk straight south and through 2 walls that are straight south as well . But it would be easier and probably more joyful to FIRST go north for just some while. You get the analogy?

But here's where I'm at now and this is not the first time I'm there : now, I'm a little too obsessed with this picture and I'm starting to want that specific person which I know nothing about.

Let's take that bit by bit.

What do you mean with a "bit too obsessed"? Does this still FEEL good? Because, if it does- then never mind and allow yourself to solely ENJOY it! What feels good to you, IS good to you! You MAY bathe- and obsess- and indulge yourself with delightful daydreams and eager fascinated ideas about this guy! When it FEELS GOOD, it will bring you closer to your true dream, either in real physicality or (and probably, both), energetically.

But if you bash yourself for being "silly, cringy, too intense", or you start doubting if he would be good for you because you don't "know" him, you might miss the innocent, pure, divine joy that would be here for you, otherwise. Old-paradigm-society has that trained into us. Which is not helpful.

On the other hand, you might really feel off about this obsession, because it feels not REALLY joyful. And only you can know the difference.

We want you to be OBSESSED with being joyful! -Abe

Every time I have a crush on a guy, I end up like this.

Maybe this "ending up" could this time lead you to a new way of tackling it?
Stop blaming you for being open and willing to dive head over heels into something joyful, that lustfully, eagerly, happily RESONATES with your IB! Because still being so free of resistances that you dare to do so, is something VERY very good.

It's like he's the only one I want and I don't trust the Universe has plenty lookalikes in stock for me. I want THAT exact one OR ELSE!
Because I've been there plenty of times, I know I'm supposed to relax and just focus on the general qualities of the guy and the Universe will bring it to me. But why does it feel like I'm being denied what I want? Or that I can't have exactly what I want? Why does it feel like I'll have to settle?

Do you realize what you are doing here?
Relaxing and trusting are a really good advice. They just make you feel better, and net you the capability (!!) to see your helpful, joyful, next step. And in the same time, they have NOTHING to do with any attempt to hold you off from having EXACTLY what you want!

You mingle those both together -maybe without even noticing it, because YOU have bashed yourself, most of the time, for wanting what you desire! Right?

YOU have told yourself again and again, that you would be -somehow- wrong in noticing this guy, in feeling him being irresistable, resonating with him in wonderfully good feeling ways, wanting him, feeling good about him, wanting more of him... it was YOU. Not source/your IB! YOU hold yourself back, in judging all of this as "too much"! Maybe because this inner guidance (!) felt so bold that you fear to lose your control? While, you are not supposed to control being attracted and called. You can control what you do with it (which is a great thing! Don't become a stalker. Don't act ridiculous or without care and -self- respect. Only do what realllly feels throurougly good to you!)

But don't try to control or even suppress the attraction itself. It would mean, to hinder yourself to walk towards it.

And, never mind, to a degree we all do that. We got taught to do it from childhood up.

We all have somehow ingrained the insecurity that our desires would be nonsense. That "we can not know". But YES, we can!!! When it feels good to you, it IS good for you! And that is all we NEED to know, and to follow. If we did, we would get our stuff- and fast. And our Ego would never feel the urge to take the curb between it's teeth, as we Germans say, and bolt, like an angry wild horse.

You would just joyfully trust, that life has caused you to desire something- that source/your IB has heard and acknowledged it FULLY (never ever scolding you a silly dummy, that doesn't know what would be right for you!!!). And is, from here on, all in, in leading you and guiding you on the path that feels best and most joyful and most lustful and most fascinating, and has the least resistance for YOU- to exactly what you want!

Do you lovely quote goddess have any quote for me about this?

What a title!
Let's see. I would recommend you reading through ALL the quotes about Desires (probably the normal "Desire-thread" and the "Big Desires-thread" AND the quotes of Step 2 (all in this Forum on the quote-subforum! Here is the index of all Quote-topics:)

viewtopic.php?t=373

Reading all of this 2 topics might train you into believing deeper, that you not only can, but SHOULD and OUGHT to have whatever life caused you to desire, in fully fleshed form. No matter what others think, how "impossible" it seems, or how silly or unreasonable YOU thought it is. Source never tries to trick you out of your desires. What your "enemies" are, is your own (probably) long trained resistances, in which you are not trusting yourself. But, just trust your inner guidance: When it feels good, it IS good. And, what you desire is already DONE and source is behind it... and now CALLING YOU towards it. That is what "resonance" and "attraction" are!

One exception that is not really an exception: IF you had fallen in love with something that really is NOT what you desire, but served as a "carrot" to lure you to wat you truly want, you will notice that in perfect timing. But then, it will not matter anymore, because you get what is even so much better and then, you KNOW it. Abe described it as you maybe wanting to get the red Ferrari in the shop-window, not knowing that this particular car in the window has no engine. Which is no big deal, when you will get it delivered WITH an engine, right?

That's all of this. Nothing to tense against!


When you place yourself in high vibrational state,
you become aligned with all of the abundance that exists within the universe.

In this state there is no such thing as impossible, no dream too big, no desire too great.
You really can have, be or do anything.

Abraham

It's DONE! It's DONE! It's DONE! It's DONE! It's DONE! It's DONE!
Don't you think it makes you feel better to know that its DONE? Doesn't our hammering away- because WE KNOW IT'S DONE!- help you, in the feeling that it's DONE?

And then, doesn't it make you want to do other things? In other words, if it's DONE, then "your work" must be to chill out and line up with it!

Abraham Hicks,
Caribbean Cruise 2008


About how Attraction works (Co-Creation with your IB, aka Step 2). How Emotions become, Split Energy.
"Being Attractive!"

We can feel the potency of what you are about, individually and collectively. It's such a wonderful thing what this life on planet earth does, for the whole of all that we are! And so, as you've been living, and therefore focusing, therefore coming to your own awarenesses of what you prefer- launching rockets of desire, requests, to the universe- those requests have already been received by that larger, non-physical part of you.

That part of you, that remains non-physical, even while you come forth into the physical. And this collective consciousness, this non-physical part of you, is being responded to, as are you, by the powerful law of attraction. And so, when your life causes you to ask your request, it's understood and responded to with a focus and a response, that you usually don't recognize.

It causes an attraction power.
It causes a "calling".

You kind of get the idea, of how the law of attraction works, when you focus upon something? -You offer a vibration, and the Law of Attraction recognizing that vibration responds to your vibration so you get what you think about, whether you want it or not. You get what you're offering, vibrationally.

Sometimes in your human form, you don't realize what you're offering vibrationally. Because often you are saying words, that are different than what you're offering. You could be saying: "I am so sure of myself." While you're not so sure of yourself! While your words are to cover up your insecurity. Well, the law of attraction doesn't respond to your cover-up words! The law of attraction is responding to your insecurity. And your words, that cover it up, are meaningless. Really, they just serve to distract you, and to confuse you!

So, we want you to feel with us the power of attraction, and the power of what you are offering vibrationally.
But at the same time, we also want you to recognize that -while you are hearing your physical form having those experiences, sometimes you feel very secure. Sometimes you feel honored and blessed and worthy and loved- and the universe responds to you, accordingly. Sometimes you feel insecure and taken advantage of, and insignificant- and the universe responds to you accordingly.

Nothing bucks the law of attraction! It's powerful, and it is not discriminating, and it's not giving you what you want: It's giving you what you're vibrating.


And so, what you want to do, is to get what you're vibrating, and what you want, in the same vibrational vicinity! So that what you're offering and what you're getting are pleasing to you, you see! So at the same time that you're doing all of that, and you're doing quite well- we want to say: Your Inner Being, who remains non-physically focused while you are here; that part of you is non-diluted about your desire.

When life causes you to know what you don't want, and therefore to know what you do want, you offer a vibration that your inner being becomes one with. And your inner being stands as the... proponent... it's so much more than, that but it's the best word Esther can find right now... the proponent of the reflector of the "keeping the light burning", of the "advocate for what you've been asking for". So, when you feel insecure and want more security, your Inner Being stands in that security. And the law of attraction responds to that vibrational output of your Inner Being.

And that is why you can have split energy: Because your Inner Being is always not just advocating for, but a vibrational representative, and therefore attractor of what you're asking for. Which means, who-you-have-actually-already-vibrationally-become, while you may be a hold out to your own desire; to your own Self. You may be splitting your energy. You may be so focused upon what's manifested so far, and using what's manifested so far, as the reason that you offer your vibration rather conditional: If you don't have enough money and you're standing in insecurity, because you've got all this proof of debt or lack of funds, and that proof seems so valid and so real, so you notice it and you talk about it, and you think about it, and you brew about it, and you stew about it, and you offer enough vibration about it that you hold yourself chronically in a vibration of deprivation- your Inner Being does not do that.

And in fact, that's the reason that you ever feel negative emotion! Negative emotion is how you feel, when you have an attitude about something that matters to you, that's different from the attitude that your Inner Being has about exactly the same subject. Your Inner Being has non-diluted, ever-present love and appreciation for you. And when you're hard on you, you've got something different going on about the subject of you, than your inner being does.

We just want you to know, that your Inner Being is dominant.
Your Inner Being will win!
Your Inner Being is the powerful Attractor of the energy, because one who's connected to this source energy and one who is non-resistant in that energy is more powerful than millions who are not.

So as you stand in opposition to how your Inner Being feels about you, you don't feel good.

When you're in love with you, like your Inner Being is, you're frisky. You're frisky and you feel good, and you're flexible, and you're quick-witted, and you're loving life, and all wonderful things are flocking around you! And others who are looking on, wonder what you've got going on. In fact, sometimes in your physical form, you say:

"Oh, that's really an attractive person!" -and we say: truer words could not be spoken.
-That's someone who is really allowing the attraction to flow to them, in the most natural way. They've hooked up with their powerful partner of attraction, and when you hook up with your powerful Inner Being-partner of attraction, you've got something going on, that makes the world stand up and notice! In other words, that's a powerful force! That's the energy that creates worlds flowing to you, and through you.

And that's what you knew, when you decided to come into this body, to begin with! You said: "I'll go into my body my physical human body." and your Inner Being says: "and we'll stay here in pure positive energy, reflecting back to you your choices." and you said: "And I'll focus a part of my experience -we call that step 1- into the sifting and the sorting and the coming into awarenesses of what I prefer, from all of this". And your Inner Being says: "And we'll hold steady of what your preferences are." and you said: "I will pay attention the way I feel, for that is the way I will know whether I'm in alignment with my desire and all of you. Or whether I've deviated from my desire, by focusing upon the reason that my desire was born."

You stand so often in justification- sort of explanation... sort of like you did with your mother, when you were little: "I really need it, because, because... it's unfair that I don't have it! And because I don't like the feeling of not having it. And so, please, please, please, won't you give this to me!!??" -and your mother, bless her heart, really did you a disservice when she gave you the impression, that you- through your begging, through your justification, and through your rationalization, could distort the laws of the Universe. Because you can't!

You could trick your mother. But you cannot trick the Law of Attraction.
You got to line up with what you want, and who you are, if you are to thrive in the way that you intended, when you came.

You got that, didn't you? You understand that. Therefore we're done. We're becoming very concise and efficient in the way we are teaching. Have a good day! Goodbye! (Laughter, because this is the Beginning of the Seminar).

from the youtube clip "Abraham Hicks 2020 — Why Some Are Attractive (NEW)"

I was mainly a lurker So I remember your username very well, while you probably don't know me at all! I don't even remember what my username was.

Thanks for your encouragements!
Yes, I'm being very careful with the affirmations/list of positive aspects, and I pay close attention to how they feel so they don't make trip and fall. I prefer to take baby steps and go nice and easy.


Now that I feel higher on this subject, I see that what was holding me back was a little lack of self esteem and a huge lack of BELIEF. And I see now how much that made me vibrate poorly towards the beautiful men I want, so they vibrate back the same to me.

I'd love to find a quick and sure way of vibrating irresistibility when I'm around beautiful men, and I think the answer is always the same : "be in the vortex and then". The quote you gave was brilliant : an attractive person is a person allowing attraction to flow to them, meaning being in sync with your inner being and in your vortex makes you attractive. I've experienced it several times so I should know how true that is.


I like your "going north to go south" analogy but this is where I trip up sometimes. My first instinct is to go "OH SO YOU DON'T WANT ME TO GO SOUTH?", "IS SOUTH NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME??", "DOES SOUTH EVEN EXIST YOU LIARS???". I may be a little dramatic here but it's how it feels at first. It goes back to a lack of belief I suppose, a lack of faith.

But if you bash yourself for being "silly, cringy, too intense", or you start doubting if he would be good for you because you don't "know" him, you might miss the innocent, pure, divine joy that would be here for you

Yes, that's what goes on. At first, I see the eye candy and enjoy it for what it is but then I go too specific and say "I want this exact candy" and spiral out of my vortex. I start wondering what his real name is, what is he really like, and I even start being jealous of his potential girlfriend

I wish I could just focus on the qualities I like in him and leave it at that, just enjoying the vision I've helped create with this person and let the Universe serve me the version of it they cooked up for me. But I always end up looking for info about my crush and then end up disappointed. Either he's married, or not at all like I imagined.

I think at the end of the day, I don't trust that I can have what I want in this department of my life. I can't have the perfect lover. I can't have the guy with a cute face, rugby player body and macho man energy. I feel like I need to compromise somewhere which is why when I have a crush on a guy I latch on to it for dear life. I take the sample bottle on display, because I don't believe the shop is stocked with new unsealed ones.

I don't suppress my desire, but I become too specific and zero in on it too much it starts to hurt. Because then it becomes "I have to meet this one person in the world, what are the odds this will happen??" and "What if he's not a right fit for me yet he's the one that I want really bad?".

One exception that is not really an exception: IF you had fallen in love with something that really is NOT what you desire, but served as a "carrot" to lure you to wat you truly want, you will notice that in perfect timing. But then, it will not matter anymore, because you get what is even so much better and then, you KNOW it. Abe described it as you maybe wanting to get the red Ferrari in the shop-window, not knowing that this particular car in the window has no engine. Which is no big deal, when you will get it delivered WITH an engine, right?

Spot on. This feels right. I've heard Abe say I should look at his picture and say "I'm appreciate your qualities and I'm going to attract the essence of who you are into my life".

Confession time : I've created a whole daydream reality of him. I've given him a name, an age, a personality and I've given us a romantic meet-cute and in this vibrational reality we already have three kids together.
It feels so real to me and so delicious to go there at night as I'm drifting to sleep. But sometimes, it feels so specific that I feel a little down that I probably won't have exactly that.


You've pointed to the quote section of this forum, I'll go digging in the treasure chest! I need to reinforce my belief that I can get EXACTLY what I ask for. And I'll give a look if there's something about daydreaming too

Thanks for your wonderful help and the quotes you found definitely helped too. I'm going to read them several times today.

Jet'aimeAussi wrote: ↑Wed Jun 19, 2024 1:57 pm I was mainly a lurker So I remember your username very well, while you probably don't know me at all! I don't even remember what my username was.

that's relief! I am TERRIBLE with remembering names and faces. I can remember a vibration of a certain person, but the rest...

Thanks for your encouragements!
Yes, I'm being very careful with the affirmations/list of positive aspects, and I pay close attention to how they feel so they don't make trip and fall. I prefer to take baby steps and go nice and easy.

This is so wise! And really, in this case, it should not be too hard for you, -while you enjoy your daydreams, to take them "nice and easy" as well? So much that you can back off of them in the moment they don't feel so good anymore...!?

Because I see no difference between those two. It is the exact same technique!

Now that I feel higher on this subject, I see that what was holding me back was a little lack of self esteem and a huge lack of BELIEF. And I see now how much that made me vibrate poorly towards the beautiful men I want, so they vibrate back the same to me.

I'd love to find a quick and sure way of vibrating irresistibility when I'm around beautiful men, and I think the answer is always the same : "be in the vortex and then". The quote you gave was brilliant : an attractive person is a person allowing attraction to flow to them, meaning being in sync with your inner being and in your vortex makes you attractive. I've experienced it several times so I should know how true that is.

Exactly! Allow this to soothe you: Own experience makes you so much more certain and confident!

I like your "going north to go south" analogy but this is where I trip up sometimes. My first instinct is to go "OH SO YOU DON'T WANT ME TO GO SOUTH?", "IS SOUTH NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME??", "DOES SOUTH EVEN EXIST YOU LIARS???". I may be a little dramatic here but it's how it feels at first. It goes back to a lack of belief I suppose, a lack of faith.

Of course only you can really know what is going on. But may I challenge your statement? You don't feel or sound as a person with lack of faith.

To *me* this feels as a pretty angry or even raging response! Anger and rage don't fall out of the sky. They are the (very healthy) reaction of a person who was suppressed several times in topics that really really mattered to them.

Either you had suppressed yourself- or it happened through people who told you that they "would know better". Which NEVER is the case!! YOU know. Others can guess- but about you, only YOU can know. But nevertheless, it is very common in the old paradigm to speak down to children, teenagers or those who are young and "unexperienced", and squelch their inner knowing. Those kids then either get depressed (=they break) or they get angry. And you seem to be on the (much healthier) angry side.

So, what has happened? (just become aware of it, you don't need to share it openly! )
Because this anger- as helpful as it is to protect you against getting squelched, it will not let you go ITV consistently, when it gets triggered so easily! I'd advice to become aware of the reasons for your rage and rebellion, and then find true unconditional inner alignment, instead of anger!

Yes, that's what goes on. At first, I see the eye candy and enjoy it for what it is but then I go too specific and say "I want this exact candy" and spiral out of my vortex. I start wondering what his real name is, what is he really like, and I even start being jealous of his potential girlfriend

I wish I could just focus on the qualities I like in him and leave it at that, just enjoying the vision I've helped create with this person and let the Universe serve me the version of it they cooked up for me. But I always end up looking for info about my crush and then end up disappointed. Either he's married, or not at all like I imagined.

It seems to me that you are a fire-heart (hello, dear fellow-one! ). It sounds as if you would be naturally passionate and eager (and capable, which truly is a special gift!) to dig deep. Keep yourself in that vicinity, don't try to talk yourself out of this fully.

"Nice and easy" is a very good recipe- as long as it fits your mood and your character! For fire hearts (who also like nice and easy) it is essential to have ENOUGH "bold, fast and intense" in their mix AS WELL! Without some "bold, fast and intense", their flames wither, in the long run. I've been there and done that, as I (a Fire/Air-character) am married to a full Water/Earth-character, who had sincere problems to not misunderstand my passionate, intense, fast energy as "fighting", in our beginning. So, to make it easier and less challenging for him, I almost (and literally) killed myself with tuning down into always being "calm nice and easy". I hope this makes some sense to you?

So... don't do that.

I think at the end of the day, I don't trust that I can have what I want in this department of my life. I can't have the perfect lover. I can't have the guy with a cute face, rugby player body and macho man energy.

How come? Who said that? What trained this screwy, flawed belief into you? This is NOT right, and I bet it feels terrible. Which should be a clue for you, to learn to drop it.

I feel like I need to compromise somewhere

that's strange. What taught you to make frustrating cutbacks on your dreams?

which is why when I have a crush on a guy I latch on to it for dear life. I take the sample bottle on display, because I don't believe the shop is stocked with new unsealed ones.

...which, again, is a passionate overreaction of a hungry, squelched fire heart. Can you see that you don't need to react so dramatically?

Abe say (Sorry, I don't have a direct quote) that we get dramatic (aka, start to rage, become rebellious etc) when we don't do the vibrational work. Then we try to over-compensate with some sort of action. How do this quotes here, sit with you? Does something resonate?


Rebelliousness comes from feeling a lack of Freedom

You are such a freedom seeker. [...]
As you see anyone that you describe as rebellious - and it is predominantly the teenagers that you give that label to - they are experiencing the same thing:

They seek freedom so much, and as their freedom is continually squelched, they find themselves rebelling, because it is their passion for freedom that keeps coming to the surface, very powerfully, as they are feeling lack of it. [...]
You do not have a reason to feel rebellious when you feel your absolute freedom and when you understand that your behaviour is not linked to any other.

- Abraham

I don't suppress my desire, but I become too specific and zero in on it too much it starts to hurt. Because then it becomes "I have to meet this one person in the world, what are the odds this will happen??" and "What if he's not a right fit for me yet he's the one that I want really bad?".

You seem to be SO certain that you can't "get" the exact man you laid eyes on. Again, who talked you into this belief?
I mean, sure, if there is a better (unsealed) one, by all means take that one. But in my experience, you CAN quite often have the exact thing you laid eyes on. I wouldn't torture myself with the need to get THAT one, (because it feels bad!) ....but- why not get the exact "him"? It wouldn't be the strangest manifestation I have heard of!

For the "married one"... I want to mention that neither Esther nor Jerry where single, when they met each other. Now, don't go and randomly steal people from their wifes. But... just saying!

Spot on. This feels right. I've heard Abe say I should look at his picture and say "I'm appreciate your qualities and I'm going to attract the essence of who you are into my life".

That's awesome advice... as long as it really FEELS good, to do so! Esther took another turn when she had the crush on Jerry. He invited her to his wedding, and she watched in terror, how the words came out of her mouth (and she was unable to hold them back): "I can't possibly go. And I don't think, you should go, either!"

Such things happen, and they feel -sometimes- soooo much better than "reasonable, nice and easy".

Confession time : I've created a whole daydream reality of him. I've given him a name, an age, a personality and I've given us a romantic meet-cute and in this vibrational reality we already have three kids together.
It feels so real to me and so delicious to go there at night as I'm drifting to sleep.

this sounds WONDERFUL to me! When things feel SO good, they clearly are inspired- by loving, wise Source, who calls you straight into your Vortex! Do this long enough (it must be more airtime of this, than the airtime of your doubt!), and things will unfold into even more. But ALWAYS watch out if you still feel good (I know that you know this, I just repeat it!)

But sometimes, it feels so specific that I feel a little down that I probably won't have exactly that.

So, just I said above: STOP that unhelpful thoughts! Just cut them out. Nip them in their buds. Don't let them get momentum!

What feels so bad in this, is NOT that he might be married or gay or in what way ever unavailabe. What hurts is, that your source is not with you, when you think this way! Source never goes where they know it to be differently. And so, you feel the discord of being without your true self, which feels empty and hollow and rotten. -This is your guidance.

You've pointed to the quote section of this forum, I'll go digging in the treasure chest! I need to reinforce my belief that I can get EXACTLY what I ask for. And I'll give a look if there's something about daydreaming too

The daydreams are probably within the thread of "Visualizing"!

Thanks for your wonderful help and the quotes you found definitely helped too. I'm going to read them several times today.

Aww, thanks for telling! I am VERY glad. It is a joy to work with you!!

I just now have this on my copy-key, and it wanted to come to you!

Oh I love this boat analogy!!! I heard it a few months ago and absolutely adored it! Thanks for the quote, I'll keep it on my desktop!

I'm currently looking for quotes in the visualisation section, it's a gold mine. Thanks for your dedication, you're so great!

You seem to be SO certain that you can't "get" the exact man you laid eyes on. Again, who talked you into this belief?
I mean, sure, if there is a better (unsealed) one, by all means take that one. But in my experience, you CAN quite often have the exact thing you laid eyes on. I wouldn't torture myself with the need to get THAT one, (because it feels bad!) ....but- why not get the exact "him"?

I love that idea! I guess I limit myself because I end up thinking of the odds.

For the "married one"... I want to mention that neither Esther nor Jerry where single, when they met each other. Now, don't go and randomly steal people from their wifes. But... just saying!

This actually helped! Haha
Where I see limitation from afar, there might not be once I come closer... Who knows?


Until recently, I wasn't ready for a serious relationship in my life. So the guys I attracted were always "halfsies" : either not totally my type (because I'm not ready for the right one yet) or they were totally my type but unavailable (because I wasn't ready to be with them either). Now I feel ready to be ready and I'm looking forward to meeting my future husband. But I think I'm looking at past experiences and feeling wobbly because of those. Which is where the idea that my type won't want me or that I won't meet my exact type comes from.
Does what I'm saying make any sense? Wow, rereading it, it certainly makes a lot of sense to me.


Anyway, I'm happy to report that I feel this guy could be mine now and I'm not sure how I got there.
I guess I eased on the subject and reading you helped me feel like my limitations were all in my head. When I see this photo I see a man who could smile at me with kindness and actually like me back now. When I look at this photo, I think "hey, wouldn't it be funny if I actually met exactly him?" and "What if there's someone exactly like him somewhere?". I'd really like that.

For now, I'm going to keep milking my handsome police officer imaginary husband

Jet'aimeAussi wrote: ↑Thu Jun 20, 2024 11:18 pm Oh I love this boat analogy!!! I heard it a few months ago and absolutely adored it! Thanks for the quote, I'll keep it on my desktop!

I'm currently looking for quotes in the visualisation section, it's a gold mine. Thanks for your dedication, you're so great!

I love that idea! I guess I limit myself because I end up thinking of the odds.

Exactly! The odds, and even more, the "how" IS NOT YOUR JOB.
The "odds" become because people think insides their boxes. And so, not much un-seen-before-stuff happens! But you are not at all limited to that. Your job is to do step 3 "and let it in".

This actually helped! Haha
Where I see limitation from afar, there might not be once I come closer... Who knows?

Exactly! I LOVE this quote:

You did not come to react to reality!
You came to CREATE reality.

Abraham Hicks

Until recently, I wasn't ready for a serious relationship in my life. So the guys I attracted were always "halfsies" : either not totally my type (because I'm not ready for the right one yet) or they were totally my type but unavailable (because I wasn't ready to be with them either). Now I feel ready to be ready and I'm looking forward to meeting my future husband. But I think I'm looking at past experiences and feeling wobbly because of those. Which is where the idea that my type won't want me or that I won't meet my exact type comes from.
Does what I'm saying make any sense? Wow, rereading it, it certainly makes a lot of sense to me.

That is the best description for this that I have ever seen. PERFECTLY described!! When you are a "halfsy", what other CAN you attract than a halfsy!?

Anyway, I'm happy to report that I feel this guy could be mine now and I'm not sure how I got there.
I guess I eased on the subject and reading you helped me feel like my limitations were all in my head. When I see this photo I see a man who could smile at me with kindness and actually like me back now. When I look at this photo, I think "hey, wouldn't it be funny if I actually met exactly him?" and "What if there's someone exactly like him somewhere?". I'd really like that.

I really really REALLY want to give you my greatest kudos for being SO capable, understanding and willing to do this all in the ways it works! AWESOME!!!

For now, I'm going to keep milking my handsome police officer imaginary husband

I want to get invited to the wedding!