The Abe Forum

Hello Everyone,

I not really new on this forum, i used to post here almost 10 years ago.
At that time your guidance helped me to release resistance around the topic of romantic relationship and finding a partner.
I have now a wonderful partner since 7,5 years.

My Life Is great, i am self empolyed since 7 years and things are going really well, i have loving partner who gave birth to our daughter 3 months ago.

Me and my partner were renting a 1 bedroom flat for 4 years before deciding to purchase our First home.
Since i am working from home, we wanted more space and move out because we had very unpolite and noisy neighbours living in the flat above ours.
given the fact that we live in an touristic area, finding a bigger flat to rent was almost impossible if not at Crazy prices.
It was easier to purchase as the mortgage monthly payment would have been much cheaper than the monthly rent.

So we decided to buy, and bought a terraced house, but After almost 3 years in this house we want to run away from It.
Right After moving into the house we realized there Is much more noise from neighbours than in the flat that we left.
When we bought the house, also the One next to me was for sale.
The previous owner was living in the One next to mine, and was using the house where i am currently living as office.

The house next mine has a kitchen made of concrete directly attached to the separation Wall ( i live in Europe so we have walls made of bricks) .
When my neighbour uses the kitchen it's like someone Is hammering on the Wall.

Since my neighbour found this kitchen already in the house when She bought It, and as She had moved in at the same time than me, i did not tell her anything about the noise i was hearing, as i was talking myself into the fact that She would replace It.
After 1 year of accumulating resistance and observing the contrast, i spoke to her pointing out the loud and disturbing noise i was hearing.
She was kind and understanding and told me that She was going to solve the problem, but She did not change anything and the noise continued.
( In the meantime i had purchased noise cancelling headphones and listen to White noise while working, as i work from home).

Last November (1 year after my First discussion about this noise) i had to talk to her again pointing out the same issue ( as sometimes hammering sounds continued till 01.00 am in the morning)
But her response was that She cannot move or change the kitchen only because It Bothers me..

Since then nothing changed and the noise goes on every night.

So, i am living this extreme contrast, i try to ignore reality by putting headphones on ,but how to ignore such thing consistenly?
I try to soothe myself and my partner but It has become really and unliveable situation.

In the late Afternoon i start feeling anxious that i Will hear noise in the evening and of course that becomes my point of attraction.

We want to sell the house and change but i am aware i Need to change my point of attraction First ,to get the house i want, knowing that i Just want a Place where me and my partner can be at peace.

Appreciate your guidance!

What a powerful law of attraction story…

While reading this:

“ Since i am working from home, we wanted more space and move out because we had very unpolite and noisy neighbours living in the flat above ours.
given the fact that we live in an touristic area, finding a bigger flat to rent was almost impossible if not at Crazy prices.
It was easier to purchase as the mortgage monthly payment would have been much cheaper than the monthly rent.”

I could already guess how the place you moved in felt.

Good thing you realise it too you know it’s your point of attraction and even the kind neighbor with her good intentions cannot give you what you want as she can’t buck your current.

I know you know this and probably it annoys you reading that I’m stating the obvious but isn’t it good to read what you wrote and clearly “see” this is just your point of attraction and maybe find some comical relief in it and give your neighbor a break and also a break to yourself as you are caught in LOA field and you are kept there…

If you are ever are taken by a current in the ocean the best thing you can do is not to fight it but go sideways or let it subside…

You are were you are… but I guess you already know this.

My advice. Speaking from a very practical experience is to play “deactivation box”. I was in a similar situation with a flatmate (whom I will not go into details about). I was playing “rendering inactive” game. I would of course knee jerk react, but as soon as I had a sec I would sit with those papers and wrote:
“ I render I inactive creating negative scenarios in my head”
“I render inactive feeling angry”
“I render inactive focusing on this neighbor”
“I would like to render inactive my knee jerk reactions”
“I render inactive feeling guilty for my knee jerk reactions”
“I render inactive talking about this flatmate”
I would write and write and write until I feel RELIEVED and stopped my minds tendency to go further.
If I truly felt relieved and some sort of peace, I would, and ONLY from that state, I would write how I would like to feel around people, what flatmates I would like to live with.

It required consistency, catching slightest annoyances pointing the things that cause it and deactivated them it required a dedication to play this game for the pure desire to deactivate the energies in my being and feel relieved.

Then… one day standing in front of her instead of the usual discomfort I felt “COMPASSION” for her so deeply, I felt love for her being… and I KNEW my point of attraction shifted as I have REACTED differently.

And a few weeks past, her job made her redundant and she left the country altogether. A new wonderful flatmate moved in with whom I felt connected at a heart level

So my advice in this situation, learn a lot about deactivation game and play it play it play it… and in those moments you find yourself feeling good.. draw a picture of your family sitting near the table peacefully talking and enjoying inner peace and gentle conversations you are having etc etc tune yourself in the essence of your desire and know that in that moment YOU ARE there… even if it is brief.

Good luck!

Hello Tara,

thank you for sharing your experience, it makes me feel relief.
it's incredible how instantly the universe responds when we do our job on step 3!!

I guess consistency is playing the deactivation game is key.

Thanks

Yes consistency and accepting a small relief as your prize you are getting out of you own way and letting the Universe do its magic..
I don’t like when momentum goes out of balance so much (so I feel for you…) but I have been there many times, and I know that making peace and appling consistency in processes without looking for any results.. always works.
With deactivation box don’t sit trying to deactivate all the things (like you would sit to do appreciation game) just notice when you are slightly of track during the day and (if possible) stop in that moment and play the game…in the mornings I would apply other good feeling processes