Quotes on Relationships

[spiritualcookie]

On Co-creation with other humans

Co-creation is the advanced course of creation.
In other words, before you can be an effective co-creator, you must understand how it is that YOU create.


- Abraham

[fede]

Missing someone:

When I think I am missing this person, what I am really missing is my connection with who I am, and I am blaming it on the fact that I am not with that person.”

So, what you are missing is your connection to you, and to your creation of the relationship the way you want it to be.
Now, hear it: This is really powerful…when you feel that feeling that feels like emptiness, you are missing your connection.
And when you are missing your connection, you cannot have the stuff that is in your Vortex, because you are denying yourself of it.

[Paradise-on-Earth]

To find a pleasing match, you have to be pleased.

Abraham

[Paradise-on-Earth]

THE REASON WE'RE DIS-APPOINTED instead of "Living real time"...
(The difference between real physical life on the leading edge vs the perfection of "mere vibration" in the Vortex)

The reason why "falling in love" seems to be better than "living love"



So, we want to talk about every relationship you have.

And we want to say to you, that every relationship that you're currently living falls far, far, far, far short of the one that you've got in your Vortex, every single time!

Every relationship that you're living cannot even come close to measuring up to the one you've got into your Vortex. Stop asking it to, stop needing those relationships to be different than they are- so that you can feel better!

That's not the way this universe is established!
That was the bouncing off place for this.
This is where you want to put your attention, you see!

What we're getting at... so, it's really interesting. You have this dream of a perfect relationship, or a perfect breakfast or a perfect hotel or a perfect drive, or (...) you have this dream. You have this anticipation, tha,t from a distance, felt good to dream it. But now you're living the reality of it. And it's not living up! So, you feel deprived. You feel almost offended. You feel almost assaulted: You say to each other, "you don't bring me flowers anymore!" You say, "you promised to obey me!", or "you promised to hold me dear!" -and we say to you, we really... if you can just hear this!! -If you can just hear that:

NO relationship that is ever manifested, will ever measure up to the one you've got in your Vortex.
And if you will let them off the hook, and focus on your Vortex, you'll keep yourself joyful. And the relationships will improve, too.

But we are not giving you this information, so that the relationships can catch up and start pleasing you- so that you can then start turning around, and observing the relationships that are pleasing you! We SO want you to get it, that that you've always been reaching into who you are. And anything less than that will never feel as good!

Now let's talk about this, in really vivid terms.
So, those of you who have been in love, who now have relationships- you want to say: you're in love. But maybe you don't really feel it so much...? It's been a long time since you felt that "in love" feeling. Here's why:
In the beginning, that relationship was more of a dream than it was a reality.

You were building that relationship long before you ever hooked up with this particular person! It became who-you-really-are. You and that person became this wonderful wonderful wonderful relationship, and it's vivid and real, and it holds all that you are. You're kind to one another! You believe in one another. You're respectful of one another. You're looking for the best in each other. You're evoking more and more, you are the catalyst that keeps pulling more good stuff through each other.

You are humorous together! You're tuned in, tapped in, turned on. You move well together: You move through life well together. In other words, in the vortex... what a magnificent relationship that you've built! Because every awkward moment improved it. Everything that went wrong, made it right. Everything that was off made it on! In other words, are you getting the sense of this? YOU created this "now"!

Some of you want to call this an illusion. We want to call it the vibrational reality.

We want to call it the relationship that you have created!
We want to call it the the the world that you created from your non-physical and physical vantage point.

It is a reality, that is real- that you've got to be a vibrational match to or you won't feel good.

So, then- when you look at reality as it is- you can't help but compare.
...You're not as nice as you're supposed to be.
..."You're not as attended to me, as you're supposed to be."
..."Chivalry is dead over there."
...You're still alive over here!

In other words... and so... then you're hard on each other. Because then you want, that... you want them to perform in a way that matches up to this! And we're wanting you to understand: you're you're looking for love in all the wrong places!

It's in your Vortex! And it's not their responsibility.

Are you following this? So, when you get there, when you get there... then what happens is: You begin enjoying the alignment of your vision. Which fills you with the feeling of LIFE. Don't you know from your own experience, that when you're on your way to the relationship, you felt so much better, than when you actually got there? And it's because, when you got there, you started looking at it as it is.

And what it is, in terms of manifestation, is never up to speed with what it has become (in the Vortex)!

-It's already past tense. ...Well, you took that pretty well!
That's hard. It's a hard thing to hear. It's... what we're saying to you is, in terms of physics- it would be like saying to you "as you're driving down the road, you want to look where you're going. Not where you are! And and not where you've been!"

You want to look where you're going.
And while that's simplistic, and really almost silly- it's the same idea. We want you to look toward what will manifest, but we want you to look toward what is! We want you to feel the realness of who you are. So, now speculate just for a little bit... think about, how have you ever... let's find some some simple ideas. Have you ever got an idea, that you'd like to refurbish your house. Or buy new furniture. And, do you remember that, how good it felt? Did you ever look through catalogues, and kind of start forming an image of how you'd like it to look?

And didn't it feel better- than when you got into the throws of trying to gather it all up or pay for it, or find someone who could coordinate it?
In other words, isn't it easier- isn't it easier to feel good in the envisioning-stage? And what we want you to come along... and we can feel you starting to move with us, what we want you... if we could convince you,

that your life is about the way you feel!!

Then it wouldn't matter to you if you're dreaming the new furniture, or if you're placing it.
If we've really convinced you, that how you feel is where it's at!

So, movie-makers, just keep dreaming new movies!
Authors, just keep dreaming new books!
Songwriters, just keep writing new songs!
The creative people never rest on their laurels. They... the happy creative people only stay happy and creative, because they keep writing the next song, you see! What we're getting at... they keep painting the next painting. Do you really think the world needs another painting?? NO!! But painters want to paint! Sculptors want to sculpt. Songwriters want to write songs. Musicians want to make music! In other words... you're getting the hang of it, aren't you? In other words,

you want to flow the energy!
That's how you mold the clay. You want to flow the energy, you want to think the good feeling thoughts! You want to sing the good feeling songs. You want to think the good feeling thoughts!

You want to think the good feeling thoughts. You want to think the good feeling thoughts!!
You don't want to think bad feeling thoughts!
You want to think the good feeling thoughts.

Now, think about it, as we watch people building empires, as we watch relationships coming together, as we watch movements coming into being- do you know that far and away the majority of the movement happens before there is any physical stuff, that even comes into being? In other words, as as you dream your empire, as you dream your dream employees, as you dream your dream product, as you dream the world's response to it, as you dream that it's all pure... because there's no reality that's clashing with it, you got to dream it as you wanted to dream.

But when you start facing reality, and reality clashes with the dream- that's when you lose your connection.

And that's when your dream slows down.
Well you're almost there! You're closer than any audience has been, we'll tell you that you're closer than any audience has been, to us having convinced you of the reality of this Vortex.

And the benefit to you, to reach toward it- because, have you ever been on vacation, and you've been out on the road, and you've been sort of free, and in an attitude of discovery with no time commitments... just sort of free flowing, and you know that fresh feeling of the Universe just yielding to you fun stuff to see, and fun things to feel... it's that fresh feeling that you can have all day every day, once you start living this real time that we're talking about.

So, someone says: "Did you get your new car?" -you could say and mean, and smile and feel good as you say:
-"no I'm still dreaming about it."
And then they'll go (disappointed) "ohh! ohhh." But you don't mean Oh. ...you mean: I'm still dreaming about it!

-"Did you meet that perfect... did you find your lover yet?" -"No. I'm still dreaming about him!" -"Oh! " -"No, you don't understand! He doesn't have to be here this red hot minute! The idea of him has breathed life into me, the likes of which I cannot even begin to explain."

-"Did you write your best-selling novel yet?" -"No. I'm just dreaming about it." -"Oh. haven't really gotten around to yet? Oh. " -"No no! The life is just showing me bits and pieces of it. I'm gathering it up, I can feel it formulating. I can feel the inspiration that's flowing through me! I've never felt so vivid or so alive!"

-"You moved into your new house yet?" -"No. I'm just still dreaming about it!" -"Oh! " -"No, no! That dreaming about it is good. I'm in the vortex! I'm tuned in with the vibrational reality of it! It's breathing life into me. Oh sure, it will manifest. But I found you can say to your friends, that the more that manifests, the more I have to insure it, the more I have to move it from place to place, the more I have to clean it!"

In other words, you watch people! The more they gather, the less good they feel. The less they've got- the better they feel. We're not trying to talk you out of manifestations, friends! We're not. Manifestations are so wonderful!

And there is nothing more spiritual than the manifestation of this spirit, that you are.
Nothing is more delicious than manifestation!

But manifestation that comes from alignment, is delicious.
Manifestation that is dragging you around by the hair is not!

And we think that, in general, our human friends are hung up on the what-isness of manifestations, and depriving themselves of the freedom, of the natural joy that comes from roving with the energy that is truly you. Now that's easy for us to explain to you, because we don't have a physical body that we're dragging around. We don't have to bathe it or clothe it or feed it. We don't live in a house that we have to pay rent on, or own or ensure. In other words, we live in a state of beingness. But here's the big picture for you!

So, does the larger part of you... you are Spirit!
You are not a thing. You are a being, not a doing. You are a being, not a having. You are a physical being, who has the potential of aligning with the clarity and the adventure and the love and the sureness and and the worthiness that is really you! And you can tell moment by moment, whether you've caught caught a glimpse of it. And when you do milk it milk it milk it milk it milk it milk it milk it until you say incessantly to those around you, who say "well, what do you need?" -you say:

"I really don't need anything! There's nothing that I need. But I'm always on the Quest for alignment!" -"What does that mean?" -"Well it's sort of a long story, but what it basically means is: I'm more than I see. Or that you see here, in this physical body! And I can feel the wholeness of who I am, through my emotions. And I'm always on the trail of that."

Now, most people won't get it. But you do! You get it.
And, in fact, you've gotten it so good, that you can't go back from it. We should have explained that at the beginning, that you now know too much. You now know too much- you can't go back. You know too much, you can't go back! You are Source energy, and physical bodies, and the way you feel is everything.

A woman said, "My lover left, and now I'm sad." And said, no you're not! -She said: "Abraham. My lover left, and now I'm sad!" We said, no you're not. She said: "Abraham!!" -she thought things she didn't say. Something about a ridiculous ghost... "Abraham, you ridiculous ghost! My lover left, and now I am sad!" and we said: No, you're not! She said, "Let me be very clear with you. I wasn't sad, and then my lover left, and now I'm sad. I'm sad because my lover left!" -and we said:

While you were interacting with that lover, you created a lover in your Vortex, that that lover was not a match to.
And when that lover left, you're using that as an excuse not to match up with the one that's in your Vortex. You're not sad because that lover left! You're sad because, right now in this red hot minute, you are not a vibrational match to the lover you have created. THAT'S why you're sad.

You're sad because you are not up to speed with who you are!
That's the only reason that you're ever sad.
It's the only reason that you're ever sick.
It's the only reason that you ever feel negative emotion:
You're not up to speed you're not up to speed you're not up to speed you're not up to speed.

Well, how do you get up to speed?
You care about how you feel and you practice reaching for the thoughts that feel better and until you find yourself in the vortex.

And then you practice being in the vortex, until you're chronically in the vortex. And then you're living real time! Then your Source energy is flowing through you. Now, as you're interacting with others, all of you is in that moment. Now you're offering one signal, not split energy!

Now you are living life as you've intended. That's what you came for.

from the youtube-clip "Once You KNOW How To Think In 4 Dimensions, You Can SEE The INVISIBLE ~ Abraham Hicks "

[spiritualcookie]

Example WHY Process for some topics on Relationships

I want to spend more time together...
... because I'm at my very best when we're together.
... because there's no one I'd rather be with.
... because we have so many things that are fun to talk about.
... because I love this person so much.

I want to have more fun together ...
... because that's the first thing we loved about each other.
... because I love laughing
... because I love finding even more things to do that are fun.
... because having fun feels so good.

I want to eat out together more often...
... because it reminds me of when we first met.
... because I love the luxury of someone else cooking.
... because I love relaxing in a nice place and focusing on my partner.
... because there are so many wonderful things to eat!

I want to relax more and play more often [together]...
... because we're both playful by nature
... because I love the free feeling of just being together to relax.
... because our best ideas come under these conditions.
... because it enhances our relationship.


- AH

[Paradise-on-Earth]

To find a pleasing match,
you have to be pleased.

Abraham Hicks

[spiritualcookie]

Have Awareness of your Emotions During Interactions with Others

Sometimes, as you are interacting with others, you will hear, see or smell something that triggers a vibration within you that does not feel very good as it is activated.
And that is the time for you to say:
"Oh, my guidance system is working.
I can feel that there's something activated within me that's not serving me very well.
Because, in the activation of this vibration there's some resistance within me that is now disallowing the Well-Being that would be there otherwise."

So THAT is the time to choose a thought that feels better.

[The more you practice finding a better-feeling thought], then it will be very easy for you to reach for a thought that feels better.
But if you have not been practicing, then when you are in the middle of a negative thought you do not have anywhere positive to go. So you just have to wait until that thought peters out.


- AH

[spiritualcookie]

A friend said to us recently,
"Abraham, I don't think you care if my lover ever comes to me.
I think you want me to get so good at imagining him that I don't notice that he's not here."

And we said, That's exactly right!
Because when you are imagining that he is here,
then in your joy, in that moment, you vibrate in a place where you summon and allow God Force - Life Force - to flow through you.
And there is nothing more wonderful than that.
And then we said, Oh and by the way, when you get there,
he cannot NOT come.
But as long as your desire for him to come is more about your awareness that he has not come, not only can he not come, but the misery that you are feeling in hat moment is because you are choosing a vibration that does not allow the Energy that your desire is summoning.

- Abraham

[spiritualcookie]

When you seek feeling "In Love" you're really seeking feeling the Fullness of who you are

You see, if you accept the premise that what you're really reaching for is to be aligned with Source,
That when you say,
"I want to be in love with my girlfriend",
that what you're really saying is,
"I want to have the fullness of all that I am
present in my relationship with my girlfriend." (...)

"I want to love.
I want to be in alignment with who I am
so that when I hold this magnificent woman as my object of attention
I see her in the breadth and depth and fullness of all that the Source within me sees
because I so want that In Love feeling that I can only have when I'm in tune with the whole of that which I am. "

From the youtube clip: Abraham Hicks - Feeling Empty (Abraham Hicks 2017)

[spiritualcookie]

How to deal with Arguments in Relationships

An argument is still disallowing.
And so, then you go to a general place:

"I don't want this to be an issue.
I want this to just soften.
And I accept that it's well-meaning.
And maybe if I don't add to it then it won't get bigger.
And I've noticed that anything that I shine my light on does get bigger.
And I'm not ignoring it by putting my head in the sand;
I'm diffusing something that isn't working."

Because that's what happens in most relationships where people are on diffferent ends of a subject, is that you're afraid to give up your perspective for fear that the other one will win out; that they'll get what they want.

When you look at it the way that it is in terms of vibration:
"I'm going to withdraw my attention from it for the purpose of allowing it to diffuse."
(...)

Your work really is to diffuse the specifics and go into a general place.
(...)
We're trying to get you from specifically negative to generally negative. That's it.
(...)
Because we know we can get you from generally negative to generally positive,
and then we know you'll have the alignment that you're reaching for.(...)

[Example of how to go from specifically negative to generally negative]
"My girlfriend and I differ. (...)
We differ.
We differ on a lot of things.
Diversity is a good thing.
It puts balance in our relationship.
It's what makes the world go round.
It's good that we don't see things exactly the same way.
Together we make a really good person
because we have a variety of things.
In places that I'm strong it helps her.
In places that she's strong it helps me.
Our differences are not a bad thing.
Our differences are a good thing.
She has a wonderful heart.
I know that she genuinely cares about me and my daughter.
All is really well here.
This has never been a big deal.
I don't know why I brought it up!"

- From the youtube clip Abraham Hicks - Feeling Empty (Abraham Hicks 2017)