My Answer (that I was sure I would have sent, and even quoted it -see above- after it was posted) seems to have completely gone out of the window. I just found an early draft, and hope it will do:
I quite recently found out that I have "Aphantasia" and I also don't have an inner monologue.
Exactly like the woman in this video (and don't think you have to watch it of course):
https://youtu.be/8tQ2KcOhHiU
I watched it, as otherwise I would not have been able to make sense of the medical terms!
While I listened, I realized that I am certainly on a spectrum of the same, and it helps me to see this now! Wow!!
Before that I found this out, I thought everyone had the same experience as me, as for to me, it's the only thing I know, it's how it is for me so I assumed it's how everyone experience their "inner world".
Abe and before them, Seth, have made very clear that NOBODY has the "same experience" as anybody else!
We decipher/translate vibration all in very different ways. But, because it is quite impossible to compare what we experience "inside", as we have no way to really know what others do inside, we tend to think that all others work at least a lot as we do, ourselves. Which, as I said above, never is the case. As soon I had realized this, I was hooked on typologies as the Enneagram that explain that even generally, we all have very different "soul-landscapes" and chose very different approaches to life. Some mostly can use their thoughts, to understand. Some need to HEAR things before they can make sense of it.Some need to physically touch, aka "handle" things to understand them. I am somebody who FEELS things out mostly. Some are introvert and need solitude. Some need to talk with people to "get it". Some are a mix of all. ...What one feels as bliss, would be torture to others.
Seth per example, pointed out that we always (!) look completely different to different people- on different times. People translate the vibration that most (!) of us can "see", based upon what they think or believe about us, and also, based upon where they are on the EGS in the very moment. Per example, when someone thinks you are intelligent, they might see you with a much higher forehead than someone who believes you would be stupid.
People who are colorblind usually dont know that they are- they naturally cope with what they are able to "translate". A man once told me, that he learned to know that others call a certain shade of grey "red", and another shade of grey "orange", and another still, "blue". In some cases he can't find a difference, but he soon learned not to care too much about it... Normally, we simply don't notice or don't care- until someone comes along and points out that we would lack something, or do something wrong. This woman in the clip seemed to have been quite happy with who she was- until she learned that she would have a deficit, and that broke her heart. I think, this could tell us, that it really doesn't serve us when we do this.
According to Abe, all comparing is a sure way to be miserable! We really are not MEANT to be all the same!
Now it makes a lot of sense to me that I never have understood how no one else in the abe community or in general have the same problems like me. I have actually been struggling for years with these teachings just because I have found it hard to know how to "deliberately think" or imagine something and know you're doing it.
As I said, I am not totally, but very much on a spectrum with this, as well. I have a very hard time to see inner pictures (I can do it in a small way, but it is not joyful to me, it is a struggle, doesn't last and is quite dissatisfying). I have some inner communication, but again, it is hard and dissatisfying. So I chose early on, to do things "my way", and I CERTAINLY chose to not blame myself for it! I realize now, that this may be a reason why I never felt any interest to judge others: I KNOW that we are meant to be very different, we have different tools, different intentions, different Vortexes, and also, different training.
"Normalcy" is a hoax! 
Because I get no images in my mind, and not a monolouge, so for me it's not so clear how I would know for sure exactly what my thoughts are in any given moment or how to deliberately choose a thought.
Imo, this condition is in the end more helpful than detrimental. As it makes you/forces you! to FEEL much more deliberate and sensitive! You need to TRUST what feels good. Someone who can get lost in inner dialogue might miss this opportunity for Clarity!
Abe have said to people that try to control their thoughts: "Kill me now. This is much too many moving parts!" The key is NOT to control your thoughts (again, it is quite impossible to do so for everybody! It would be much too much work!)
-but to be sensitive to your emotions, and to not only notice, but follow the guidance of them!
What feels even slightly off is not good for you. And what feels even a tiny bit better, is better for you: End of story!
It is so simple. And you CAN do that, with your condition!
Simple, but not that easy, when you have a long training of not valuing your OWN guidance and -approach, but to follow what others think would be best. I guess, some of this selfdenial is deep-trained into all of us, in some way...
I of course feel emotions, but usually my only strategy that have really worked in feeling better has been watching videos , listening to music that make me feel good etc, rather than using my own brain deliberately.
So, you found "what works for you"!
That is all that's needed!
Have you ever considered reading about deaf, blind, or in any other case of "disabled" people (per example Helen Keller who was deaf-blind but lived an amazing and incredibly full life...)? When you read about those who lack significant abilities that we all think would be so normal or even irreplaceable, you learn that you never lack ability to be very happy- you just need to allow yourself, to do things YOUR WAY.
Obviously technically the music etc must have worked in steering my focus in a way that generated better-feeling emotions, but I do find it sad that for me it's not so easy to know what my thoughts are, when I also at the same time really want to become a deliberate creator and learn how to feel good by myself.
NOTHING hinders you to do this! Just use YOUR tools, walk it YOUR way!
I absolutely hear you. I certainly understand. But anyway, we all "are where we are". You might need a certain time to be sad about what doesn't work in your unique case, but then turn around and find, and celebrate, what DOES work.
I realize I "should" maybe start going to a therapist after realizing this about myself and my mind. But I also don't want to focus on it and make it a bigger problem, but I'm not sure what to do really.
If talking to a therapist feels as even tiny relief, then do it! If you think they could help you soothing yourself and make peace and guide you to being proud and thankful for who and where you are- that is perfect. You deserve- and are worthy of- ALL HELP that you desire!
But you do NOT "need" someone to help you "straighten yourself out", as you are absolutely perfect as you are. That is no platitude. You are even better equipped for what YOU wanted to achieve in life, than any other person. You bring the exact contrast and the capability with you, to rock YOUR unique life, and fulfill YOUR unique desires.
It doesn't cause any problems in my day to day life and no one actually knows about this, because it's not a subject i feel I can talk to anyone that's close to me about, as I know they wouldn't understand
Quick insert: You REALLY NEVER EVER "know" about what is going on in others!!! You do not have the tools to know. Most people don't even "know" what is going on in themselves, as this takes mastery and high deliberateness and -consciousness. ...Just saying
...how it is for me, if they're seeing images in their mind and having an internal monologue.
Again: Maybe. Certainly, a few will not understand (but that is ALWAYS the case).
But maybe you would be astonished how much others can relate, or how much you would serve them if you would be open!
As I said, your openness helped *me* such a HGE deal. I So appreciate it!!
But anyway
I just wanted to ask you: How would you say you experience your thoughts?
-As extremely fleeting. I was born (but never diagnosed) with ADS. I have a very hard time to focus and concentrate, even I have an IQ of more than 140. Already as a child, I was completely unwilling to think about stuff that doesn't interest me, and I am extremely easily distracted by "what feels better". So, I built structures that helped me remember what I really wanted to remember- plans, notes, writing on my palms- and sometimes I create artful, complicated schedules.
And I enjoy all of it: It became "my way", my deliberate approach to life that I love and am proud of, and that really really works for me!
I don't use any of it as a strict corset, but check always if the priorities still FEEL good to me. Otherwise, I change the plans! Nothing matters more to me than feeling good. And I am certain, really, I LIVE by this concept, because it doesn't work for me otherways. And that is an extremely good thing!
So, I write it in most cases down, as I can't rely on inner dialogue. As soon I write things, and "let them out", they become stable. But sometimes it feels better to speak, what wants to be noticed by myself. I learned that when I just start speaking, not yet knowing what wants out- just having the impulse to talk, (I TRUST when I start talking, I can't plan anything...) things start to make sense to me, always!
What was not realisable inside me "forms", as soon it is outside and then it starts making sense. I was with my husband since we were 16, which was a true blessing, as he is an extremely good listener... I guess we always get delivered what we really need to function in OUR unique way!
Do you get images in your head when you write text down?
A little bit, but not so much that it would anchor me, and it doesn't give me emotions (I would phrase that different now, see my other post about it).
Per example, even I am an artist, I don't rely on my inner images BEFORE I want to draw, or paint or sculpt. It all works more by energy: I relax into the energy, and that inspires how I set the brushstrokes. It is a bit as a double-translation- my inner energy translates into impulses, and those translate into how I move my hands. And THEN, when I see or sense it outside of me, it makes sense to me.
I could never paint the faces of even my beloveds out of my memory! I need them personally, or a picture of them, to do so. But that's ok: I don't need, or even want to paint out of my memory. I love to paint by eyesight, and the guidance of energetic inspiration.
I even think that all artistic endeavors -poetry, sculpting, even cooking, are enhanced and extra precious for me, as they are MY way of expressing towards outside- and in doing so, being in contact with myself and my inner world!
or can you deliberately just decide a thought in your mind and you see an image, or is it more that you hear an internal monologue?
As I said, I get short glimpses. But much, much more than that, I get emotions, impulses or inspirations. And to be true, I feel that they are MUCH more accurate, reliable and specific than inner pictures or internal monologue! I don't WANT it in another way! It feels as if I would be more sensual and trusting my impulses more than other people, I'm not so intellectual: More like a small child or an animal, that simply KNOWS if someone is lying, or how they feel. And I have no interest in overriding any of that.
But I, too, like images. In this case, the Forum and the opportunity to post images and combine them with writing words, is a sheer blessing to me.
Both serve as a "substitute" for internal images and -selftalk, and now you know why I write- and post so many pictures, here!
To use your words: I definitely feel like a deliberate Creator.
I "have my hands in the clay" of molding my energy, -more than all others that I know of personally, as far as I can decipher this- BECAUSE of my condition. Which forces me to really really work directly with the energy!
Also, I NEED to be absolute authentic. Because when I would start lying to myself about something, I simply would make myself crazy!
Thank you in advance
It was such a true pleasure! Thank you so much,once more, for the opportunity to see, what I am doing and why.
It brought *me* great clarity, as I found my answers to your questions! I would enjoy if you would tell me how this resonates with you, I am curious if, or how, my words serve you! All the very best for you- enjoy who you are, and what you came for!
I feel this needs a bit explanation. I do not get images (at least not in a way that I notice). But I DO get emotions.
While I listened, I realized that I am certainly on a spectrum of the same, and it helps me to see this now! Wow!!
p.s. normally I think in my own voice and do not hear other voices so clearly like in real life. And I am happy with this as that experience is very spookie